You people are failing to understand the thinking behind these marriages to older women - yes they are doing it for green card but come on now

1 - they don't have to worry about the woman disturbing them for sex every hour of the day
2 - they don't have to worry about getting the woman pregnant (by mistake) therefore having to pay child support for the next 18 years and all kinds of baby mama drama.
3 - after a few years divorce the woman claiming irreconcilable differences and bring over a beautiful naija proper babe as his wife, u know these old women will spoil the man so if he is smart he saves his money, starts working on his house in naija and US and bamn a nice crib for new wifey to move into after divorce from grandma.

poster - didn't your parents teach you not to talk to strangers.

na wah for some questions an "adult" will wake up and ask online

jobfront - i see the years you spent undergoing formal education passed thru you with no impact - did u really ask why do these rich men die b4 their wives? are u stupid or just mentally challenged.

Do u even check the ages of these men and their wives? u know there is a saying that when u try to reason with a f/ool u end up looking like one after a while so I will stop now!!

wow i did not know people could disgrace themselves by actually typing rubbish online.

WOW

Someone needs to get Cap28 to comment.

I have been following this case since the day he was shot - this case leaves a nasty taste in my mouth and is truely shocking. So the life of a black child in the west is really nothing.

Anyway I have more to say but I have to go now will be back later when less busy

SMH

cap28:


Dont be fooled by those NGOs and other so called charitable organisations - many of them are funded by big corporations and therefore can not bite the fingers that are feeding them -it is in their own interests to remain silent about the atrocities being comitted by their financiers.

Amnesty International is a good example - when black africans were being slaughtered like animals by the NATO backed rebels in libya they remained silent about these atrocities  - infact rather than report on these terrible crimes they continued peddling lies that the black africans in libya were mercenaries knowing fully well that one third of libya's population is actually black - an entire town known as Tawerga which used to be  inhabited by black libyan people was wiped off the face of the earth as a result of ethnic cleansing carried out by the racist arab NTC and their NATO allies.

The NTC rebels slaughtered black africans on the ground while NATO dropped bombs on them from the air - but Amnesty international remained silent  throughout - are these the kind of charities that you are referring to?

These international charites are really big businesses masquerading as charities .

Every single problem we have in africa today was created by europe and america and they are still creating more - they are behind all the civil wars currently taking place all over africa - they sell africans the guns, bombs and other sophisticated weaponry in order to keep africa in a permanent state of anarchy.

Charles Taylor of Liberia was trained, armed and funded by the CIA.
Blaise Campaore of Burkina FAso was funded by the french and the americans and the french helped him to assassinate Thomas Sankara.
Museveni of Uganda was armed and is still being funded by America.

Paul Kagame of Rwanda is armed and funded by America - the americans were responsible for triggering the genocide that resulted in the death of over 1 million Rwandans within 3 months.

Joseph Kabila is controlled and armed by France and America.

Ouattara of Ivory Coast a former IMF executive is armed and  backed by france - he is now currently the chairman of ECOWAS.

about to cook a big pot of stew so can't type much(and no i'm not sharing - lol)

anyway back to ur quote i 101% AGREE with what u say about charities - how can billions be given in "aid" but we are bombarded with adverts of poor  and starving children in africa on TV - don't these NGO's have auditors.

Cap28 - I have read some of ur posts on other topics and u make A LOT of sense, i'm not as militant in my thinking as I don't believe all white people are racist but man this recession has really shown how bad people can be.

cap28 - i agree with the points you are trying to make and as someone that grew up in the UK as well, I experienced exactly what you experienced and will always remember being called a black monkey on my first day of primary school crying home asking my dad why, however, not ALL white British people are like the way you have pointed out, yes its difficult to come across a non- racist or prejudice person but its not right to paint a whole race of people.

Cap28 - when it comes to the workplace I agree with you as well, man the number of times I have been experienced things that I wouldn't have to experience if I was a white women is unbelievable. I will never forget the day my manager was confused as to why some racist project manager refused to give me the documents I asked for and then stupidly sent them to my manager after he forwarded the e-mail I sent her - he didn't get it but I did.

I just think ur a bit militant in ur approach - lol

i still think its wrong to beat a grown adult over a phone.

my 2 cents and I will leave it at that as I have made my point. Maybe u should address the issue that started the initial misunderstanding cos if you had done that in another country you would be cooling off in a cell and not in front of ur computer telling the world your training to become a wife beater

Sky-walker:


Its really pathetic and annoying hearing tribal insult. Blaming each other for problems.

I REALLY WONDER

Martini101:

@ADA24. Which progress? Did U take time to read and comprehend the OP'S post at all. Go and take Ur siesta jor

what is there to understand - she broke his phone he beat her up - did I miss anything out.

A mature man just ignores the woman - trust me nothing hurts and makes a woman go mad than this. A phone (no matter how costly) can be replaced a human being can not (if he had killed her)

do you know how many time my daughter has messed up my phones - i will now beat her cos of simple phone - chei.

wow and people wonder why progress is slow in Nigeria - 2 pages and mostly about his tribe - do u think the judge and jury on this case where told he was from the Yoruba tribe or that he was Nigerian - anyway i blame the colonial masters for this divide and conquer rubbish they did

see we are here arguing the tribe instead of addressing the bigger issue which is greed and rampant immorality that is deeply embedded in the Nigerian society caused by a deep poverty mentality among all tribes.

wow and here I was thinking progress was being made in 2012 regarding violence against women and children.

So what basically people are saying is that is ok to beat a woman over a phone in Nigeria?

poster - i'm just wondering where you learnt this from - cos I have never seen a man beat a woman except in a film - but all these stories on nairaland makes me think i grew up in a hollywood fantasy land where men respected themselves - I blame my father for being good sha - who knew I was being deceived

agiboma:

Hi Amy,

I'm a Canadian living in Nigeria now with my Canadian son he's 19 months and his father who is Nigerian. I got a question for you, have you ever visited this country. You need to see it befor you make such a BIG move.
1.) The places you mentioned i can only voice my opinion for 2 places Aba, DEFINETLY NOOOOOO, locals have labelled it the dirtiest city in Nigeria. Abuja is simply beautiful, but expensive, you would be best their imo. I never been to ebonyi so i cant comment. All the things you mentioned about the UK they understandable, but I dont think Nigeria is the answer. All the families i know both parents are Nigerian that moved back from Canada to Nigeria, their move did not last long and they had kids your age, the children hated it, no light so they cant watch t.v, the roads are bad, they missed their friends. If you think its the lesser of two evils please think again.
2.)  Also as a white woman your always gonna be hearing them talk about "oyibo" (it means white person) i hate that word they call me it every time and im not even white,I'm black  go figure  smh. Their also gonna refer to your kids with that term. My hubby's biracial friends kids and his white wife, did not last long here and they hated it for all the reason's i stated previously but most of all the kids felt discriminated because of that word and the attention they got as being biracial.

I know you are afraid to raise black teenage boys in the UK, but honestly their life won't be much easier over here either. To an extent because of my accent I fell discriminated against at times. Talking to locals and they dont understand my English because of my heaven Canadian accent omg. These are hurdles that you are definetly gonna face. teach your kids the right things such as avoiding, drugs, gangs etc. Dont disrupt your lives and come to this messed up society.

3.) The school system is crap unless you got some serious cheddar, you can enrol your kid in a very nice school. The best school in my area the yearly tuition is like 50k USD a year.
4.) About your business you can defiently start your own business and make money in time

Please think really hard about this move, wishing you all the best

I totally agree

franktolk:

Amy ! if you're 27 years old now and ur eldest child is 11,it then implies that you had ur first child at the age of 16 !

wow - thats not really what she started the topic to discuss

personally poster I would stay in the UK, like chaircover mentioned if you have not visited nigeria on a regular basis you will not find it easy at all to live in Nigeria.

There are a lot of issues to consider but if you do move I have no idea why Aba or ebonyi state is even on the list.

Many people who grow up in the UK turn out ok, depends on how u are brought up

RIP PERX

I have no idea who you are and never spoke to you on this forum but I can't stop crying, U are now resting with angels

chaircover:

In answer to your queastion - NO a girl does not have to sleep around to make ends meet.

Half of the things that you mention in your write up are actually a parents responsibity and not a mans responsibility. It is the parents responsibility to get your kids admission, pay the fees and see the kid through school. If they fail to do that, then that is when other people take up the responsibility in exchange for sexxual favours which is sad.

People also like living above their means. Every where I go in Nigeria, I see uni students on Blackberrys and Ipads. How on Earth can they afford it? Its not as if they are on a wage! Someone has to pay for these things and many times it a back for ground money for hand exchange.

We come from a society where we always want to better our neighbour regardless of how we get there and this is why there is so much imorality and things like integrity doesnt count for much these days.

BTW why must a guy buy a girl a handset? Is he her parent? This is where we are getting it all wrong. A guy who buys you a handset in exchange for sex can buy 4 girls 4 handsets which means he is sleeping with all 5 of you. Not worth it at at all.

THANK YOU - tomorrow people will start a topic saying nigerians girls are better than the ones raised in the west.

the whole concept of sleeping with a man just for a phone or ipad or weave on/lace front is just alien and disgusting to me and is nothing more than prostitution

SMH

?

I honestly fear too

goodness me,

The bible said God rested on the 7th day - na wah o - if this one is his handwork no wonder he needed the rest.

God is good - ALL THE TIME.

now let me wipe that drool of the keyboard.

I have heard it all today - did I read that some parents do not want to be seen as driver to their baby/toddler/child - na wah for poverty mentality. Are things that messed up that this can be a reason for keeping a child or infant unrestrained in a car.

anyway obviously this topic is for nigeria cos over here ur not even allowed to leave the hospital with ur newborn unless u have a car seat and its also the law here for children to have a car seat

Virgo-maris:

My boyfriend told he has a girl friend in east he will love to marry, i don't know what to do, should i call it off or continue the relationship hope i will change is mind

poster - please move on - yes it will b hard but I don't think you want to be his mistress, for ur boyfriend to tell you he is getting married means you are not the only woman he has been giving his love and attention too. So cry over it dry ur eyes and move onto someone much better.

I'm sure ur boyfriend has been telling his fiance that she is the one and only queen for him - I laugh in german! KMT

Happy Birthday to you Mrs CC

Very much respected and hope u enjoy the rest of the day.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=412348513153

its all political - I laugh in french

LMAO

i will return when I have recovered from my laughing fit

Loving this video and song - my 1 year old can't stop dancing

i don't really psquare but this is another level.

Think video was filmed in ATL.

mutter:

Gosh I admire the patience and endurance of some mothers here. i would never carry a child that cries unnecessarily. I would simply deposit you on your bed and close the door. When the child realises it cannot achieve anything with tantrums it stops them very fast.
I do not believe in growing out of a phase but i rather tend to follow the nib it in the bud approach.

I have tried all that - my daughter can cry as if its going out of fashion, looking to make a comeback and finally going out of fashion.

the one I'm trying to nip in the bud now is the biting - she has started biting for attention and when I tell her off. I try not to smack her as I don't believe in it but she is pushing me.

oh she doesn't eat ANYTHING apart from baby cereal

feminine A:

If your wife gives birth through natural birth and she is well stiched up (good stiches last heal within 5 days)she can Be Intimate a week later after birth if she is ready. However if she is not be considerate however the woman shld also be considerate don't deprive ur man attention n then sex

KMT

God really blessed this woman with talent.

Its such a shame she got into drugs and got involved with that waste of space Bobby Brown

I'm still in shock - RIP.

However she died please remember she has a child