Stats: 3,190,964 members, 7,942,446 topics. Date: Saturday, 07 September 2024 at 10:11 AM |
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BE THE BEST YOU FOR YOUR PARTNER Do you find yourself asking, “How can I save my relationship?” Use conflict as an opportunity to re-align your values and goals, to inject passion and energy into your relationship. The successful couple, who put energy into understanding each other’s needs, reaffirmed their support for one another – she supported his need to leave at a certain hour and he supported her need to socialize with friends. They communicated with each other, assessed one another’s needs and made it a fun issue to solve instead of letting something minor turn into a major argument. They also made a fun game of it as a compromise, promising to go home early enough to spend some quality time together. Listen to your partner, understand what they’re saying and why they feel the way they do. Be honest about your own feelings and emotions. Be your authentic self, because conflict shouldn’t be viewed as the end of an otherwise great relationship; view conflict as an opportunity to truly connect with your partner. Instead of viewing conflict as a threat to the relationship you share with your partner, view it as a constructive tool. Conflict is also an opportunity to learn more about your partner and love them on an even deeper level. It’s an opportunity to add passion and to take your relationship to the next level. Learn to see conflicts as transitions to something better, rather than as reasons to retreat. The next time you find yourself disagreeing with your partner and wondering how to save your relationship, choose to see the positive in the situation rather than the negative, and actively decide to work toward a more stable future — together. |
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The key to any deep, passionate relationship understand how you participate. for so many of us, the focus is on what we are getting out of the relationship – and not on what we are giving. but when you put your partner’s needs before your own, and are truly present with each other, you experience love on an entirely different level. Learning how to be present in a relationship takes time, energy and a willingness to look inside yourself. What happened the last time you got into an argument with your partner? You probably wondered, “Why doesn’t he just understand?” or “Why isn’t she listening to me?” It is easy to think they are the one at fault, rather than you. Being fully present in a relationship requires more than just sitting and listening to your spouse when they want something. It requires knowing that while there are two of you, the only person you can change is yourself. The changes you make in yourself will reflect in how you see your partner and how you understand them, and understanding is the first step to a stronger relationship. Stop telling yourself “It takes two” or “They have to meet me halfway.” Instead of focusing so much on your own needs, look at a situation through their eyes. Hone in on their needs – and put their needs before your own. Next time you speak to your significant other, take stock of your situation. Are you really there? Are you really hearing them? Many of us hang on to prior disagreements, spats and differences – and we hang on to them for a long time. This detritus builds up, creating a steady negative force that leans on our relationships even during the good moments. And when your subconscious mind is so focused on the past, it becomes impossible to even think about the present, much less focus on being there. When you let go of that emotional debris and commit to simply being in the moment with another person, and making their needs your own, you are freeing yourself to show up fully for them. Forget the past – what matters is the present moment and the future that is to come. Focus on understanding your partner. What they need from you right now – whatever it may be – is your immediate priority. Put aside everything else. Listen to them – and more importantly, understand them. Don’t just assume you are absorbing what they are saying; instead, ask clarifying questions. Share your feelings with one another. Take on their burdens and let them shoulder yours. Only when you are expressing yourself and communicating openly can you truly be present. As you commit to this new mindset, you’ll build trust between yourself and your partner. As you make their needs your needs, they will make your needs their needs. This is how you pave a path to extraordinary passion. Learning how to be more present in a relationship also means pushing aside other distractions. For example, technology has become a persistent third wheel in many relationships. We have trained ourselves to always have our phone, laptop or other electronic device close at hand. Can you really devote your full attention to your spouse when you’re itching to check your social media feed or wondering if your boss emailed you the latest update? Put the tech aside, even if it’s just for an hour a night. Treat other distractions similarly. By changing your own limiting beliefsand habits, you will teach yourself how to be fully present in a relationship – and in life. 2 Likes |
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The key to any deep, passionate relationship understand how you participate. for so many of us, the focus is on what we are getting out of the relationship – and not on what we are giving. but when you put your partner’s needs before your own, and are truly present with each other, you experience love on an entirely different level. Learning how to be present in a relationship takes time, energy and a willingness to look inside yourself. What happened the last time you got into an argument with your partner? You probably wondered, “Why doesn’t he just understand?” or “Why isn’t she listening to me?” It is easy to think they are the one at fault, rather than you. Being fully present in a relationship requires more than just sitting and listening to your spouse when they want something. It requires knowing that while there are two of you, the only person you can change is yourself. The changes you make in yourself will reflect in how you see your partner and how you understand them, and understanding is the first step to a stronger relationship. Stop telling yourself “It takes two” or “They have to meet me halfway.” Instead of focusing so much on your own needs, look at a situation through their eyes. Hone in on their needs – and put their needs before your own. Next time you speak to your significant other, take stock of your situation. Are you really there? Are you really hearing them? Many of us hang on to prior disagreements, spats and differences – and we hang on to them for a long time. This detritus builds up, creating a steady negative force that leans on our relationships even during the good moments. And when your subconscious mind is so focused on the past, it becomes impossible to even think about the present, much less focus on being there. When you let go of that emotional debris and commit to simply being in the moment with another person, and making their needs your own, you are freeing yourself to show up fully for them. Forget the past – what matters is the present moment and the future that is to come. Focus on understanding your partner. What they need from you right now – whatever it may be – is your immediate priority. Put aside everything else. Listen to them – and more importantly, understand them. Don’t just assume you are absorbing what they are saying; instead, ask clarifying questions. Share your feelings with one another. Take on their burdens and let them shoulder yours. Only when you are expressing yourself and communicating openly can you truly be present. As you commit to this new mindset, you’ll build trust between yourself and your partner. As you make their needs your needs, they will make your needs their needs. This is how you pave a path to extraordinary passion. Learning how to be more present in a relationship also means pushing aside other distractions. For example, technology has become a persistent third wheel in many relationships. We have trained ourselves to always have our phone, laptop or other electronic device close at hand. Can you really devote your full attention to your spouse when you’re itching to check your social media feed or wondering if your boss emailed you the latest update? Put the tech aside, even if it’s just for an hour a night. Treat other distractions similarly. By changing your own limiting beliefsand habits, you will teach yourself how to be fully present in a relationship – and in life. |
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Many people may think that love is what allows us to overcome obstacles in relationships, but in reality, it is trust. Trust is the glue that holds the relationship together, and without it, the relationship ceases to grow. Have you ever had someone you love betray your trust? It’s a gut-wrenching feeling. You feel it in the pit of your stomach, and you feel it in your heart. But trust is not just a feeling of the heart – it’s also connected to our brain patterns and processes.The inclination to trust is wired into our DNA. In fact, when trust is betrayed, the neural networks and regions of the brain associated with trust disengage and shut down. The parts of the brain that had formerly been associated with positive emotions and acceptance toward the other person are now replaced with animosity, suspicion, and resentment. Most people can relate to that feeling, no matter what side of the trust equation they are on. THE NEGATIVE THOUGHT-FEELING-BEHAVIOR CYCLE: The ways in which we think, feel and behave are all linked, and each influences the others. For example, when you think you can’t rely on your partner for support, you might behave in ways that push your partner away, or build protective walls that keep them from giving the very support that you crave, leading to feeling unsupported, angry and lonely. These feelings continue the cycle and influence your thoughts in even more negative ways as you seek evidence to prove why your partner cannot be trusted. Your resentment leads to behaviors that create an even greater distance between you and your partner, and the cycle rolls on. You become increasingly frustrated with your relationship, more critical of your partner, and give up hope. With every negative thought, emotion, and behavior trust is further compromised. HOW YOU CAN ALTER YOUR OWN CYCLE Because thoughts, feelings and behaviors are linked, if you want your relationship dynamic to change, you can enter the cycle at any point – as any change you make is likely to start a series of changes. So if you change your behavior . The key to any romantic relationship is to give to your partner without any expectation of receiving,with each accountable, truthful, and caring word and gesture, wounds were healed and mutual trust grew. The key to any romantic relationship is to give to your partner without any expectation of receiving. With each accountable, truthful, and caring word and gesture, wounds were healed and mutual trust grew and by making the effort to shift out of our own selfish negative cycle to better understand. You also have the power to alter the cycle and create a stronger relationship. |
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Do you have someone (or a few people) in your life that you are angry at for something they did to you? It could have been something your boss said last week, or your high school bully from decades ago. It's finally time to be a bigger person and forgive them for what they have done. If you want to feel alive, you need to let go of that ugly weeds you planted a long time ago. No one wants to carry around so much hatred in their heart. It only sucks you dry of happiness, motivation and freedom. Truly let go of what happened, and forgive the person who has done wrong to you because that incident or person is not worth wasting your feelings on. It takes up so much of your energy to hold on to that pain. Move forward and don't let that thing from the past ruin the happiness of your present. Dictate Your Own Life. Never let another person dictate the terms for living your life. Not your parents. Not your spouse. Not your kids. Leading your life means you can accept the input of other people, but the final decision is yours. This means that career choice, relationships, beliefs and way of life are to be judged by you, not anyone else. Do you feel obligated to do things you don’t want to do because you think it will make other people happy? Your first duty is to yourself. You can’t please everyone and will only let yourself down when you do this. Even if you are not sure what you want to do with your life? Don’t sit passively and let other people decide for you. Don’t let your moment of doubt become a weakness to be exploited by others. |
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@Guest007's RE: Chubhie, this is an interesting article... I'm trying to relate... can you? Thanks for your encouragement, I saw your response , firstly how do you want to relate or communicate? I wish you all the best. 2 Likes 1 Share |
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We all have a certain amount of baggage from the past. The difference between those who are able to move on and prosper in future romantic relationships and those who get mired down is forgiveness. Forgiveness allows us to stow that baggage where it belongs. After all, how can you ever start out on a new adventure without unpacking your bags from the one? Why is forgiveness so hard to do? One reason is that holding onto things can feel comforting. It lets us justify our past decisions and feel that we are in familiar surroundings, not the great unknown. But the fact is that even if it feels productive or useful, holding onto the past holds you back. But you can let go of the past and move on to create something incredible today and tomorrow. It just takes a little courage and a lot of effort. If you find yourself stuck on something when you’d much rather forgive and forget, try changing the context and setting when you think about the past. Don’t look at your past as some kind of tragedy. Learn to really see yourself as the author of your story to come. That’s a powerful position to be in. As the person writing the story, don’t lay blame on yourself, your past partners or your family. Remember that the practice of unconditional love is a no-blame game. Seize your power by doing what can, at times, be difficult: forgiving. Take away only the positive lessons from the experience and let go of the pain, hurt and blame. Those feelings aren’t helpful to you or anyone else — they just make you suffer. Set yourself free. Set your partner free, too. Whether or not they were connected to painful experiences in the past, you have chosen to be with them now. Don’t cast them as the villain. Why would you? You ensure that both of you will fail if you set that sad story in motion. You are the author of this story. While every relationship has conflict at times, your overall narrative can be positive, beautiful and empowering if you write it that way. |
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How does your relationship normally function? Most likely, you and your partner get along and are able to thrive together. But what happens when something goes wrong, and one or both of you begin to feel stressed out?. https://www.tonyrobbins.com/love-relationships/how-to-help-partner-in-times-of-stress/ 7 Likes 7 Shares |
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How do you and your partner fare when stress enters the relationship? Does the stress become a source of conflict and contention? Do you tend to fight more? Do you tend to withdraw from one another and feel more disconnected, frustrated, sad or angry? Or does the stress become an opportunity for you and your partner to draw closer? Where you find ways of supporting, comforting and caring for each other. And you put the other’s needs ahead of yours, no matter how challenging the situation. Stress can cause considerable levels of irritability, anxiety, fatigue and other negative consequences. And it shows up in our actions, our behavior and in our verbal and non-verbal cues. So inevitably, it impacts both partners and the relationship. But the way in which you handle your partner’s stress can be a determining factor in which direction your relationship ultimately goes. When we allow stress to control and overwhelm the state of our connection with our partners, it can create a sense of tension and disconnection. And if that is perpetuated, it can lead to a distant relationship, drained of the love, passion and joy that were once shared. But when we routinely provide our partners with the emotional support they need, we can create a new depth of love in the relationship. Because as ironic as it may seem, when stress makes your partner more ornery, argumentative, or distant, that is when he or she needs you to show up the most. And aside from the inherent good derived from exhibiting patience, understanding and support, acting as a stress reliever can ultimately bring a number of unexpected benefits both to your partner and the relationship itself. A study showed that those who said they have someone they can lean on for emotional support report lower stress levels and better related outcomes than those without emotional support. They are also less likely to say their stress levels increased over the past year, and less likely to let stress get in the way of making positive lifestyle changes.Providing emotional support can also help your partner maintain a more positive outlook at work. A study revealed that “employees with high levels of stress but strong spousal support had 25% higher rate of concentration levels at work compared to those without the solid spousal backing.” They were also “33% more likely to have positive relationships with their colleagues and had a 20% higher level of job satisfaction compared to their peers.” On top of work-related benefits, those with strong spousal support also experienced a number of personal bonuses. They reported 50% higher rates of satisfaction with their relationships, a 25% lower rate of post-work fatigue and 25% more likely to be satisfied with the amount of time spent with their children. At the end of the day, we can’t control whether or not our partner experiences stress or to what degree. The only thing we can control is ourselves: our actions, our reactions, the choices we make in our relationships each and every day. But by embracing the power you bring to creating the dynamic in your relationship, you can help turn a negative situation into a force for positive change. 1 Like |
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Do you tend to control the events in your life, or are events controlling you? The amount of stress you feel is directly related to how in control you feel about your life. As the stress piles up, your sense that you are in charge of your life can slip away even further. You feel like you’re a spectator in your own life, helpless to do anything but watch as things happen to you. There’s a way to change that. If you want to stop letting other things control you, then you need to take control of your own mind. It’s all about reshaping the way you think about yourself and your life. If you’re ready to make that change in your life and regain control of your direction, the best thing you can do is focus on your vision. WHEN WE LOSE OUR WAY What does your ideal life look like? What do you most want to leave behind when all is said and done? That’s your vision – your dream. That’s what you need to fix at the forefront of your mind. When you focus on vision instead of everything going on around you, you’ll sharpen your ability to get what you want and make yourself more resilient against the bleak thoughts that can crowd your mind when you’re stressed out. What we choose to focus on – and the way we talk to ourselves about that focus – has a massive effect on how we feel. If you focus on the things you can’t control, such as the past, all the things you’ve failed at or what’s missing from your life, it’s easy to lose your vision. We’ve all been there – life seems to crush something that you were excited about, or someone betrays you, or you betray yourself. Once you let yourself think in that way, the stress will creep in. You’ll soon feel overwhelmed and even depressed. This is the origin of that loss of control, that sense that you aren’t in command of your own life. You’re a manager, an operator – not a creator. Leaders focus on what they can control, what they have and what they want. Once you change your focus in this way, you’ll stop being a manager and become a creator once again. FOCUS ON YOUR VISION Deciding to focus on vision means determining the way you want your life to go. To create a life where you’re thriving, not just surviving, you must focus on creating a compelling future. Pick anything – a goal, dream or desire – that you want so much, you’re going to find yourself compelled to make it happen. Don’t be modest or shy about what you want to do with your life. Dream big. What legacy do you want to leave behind? How do you want people to remember you? What would you have to accomplish in order to look back at your life and say, “I have no regrets”? If you think about it, you’ve actually already done this before. Whether or not you’ve been keeping track of it along the way, there are things that you’ve wanted and have gotten for yourself. You are responsible for everything that you have in your life today. That means you’re also responsible for everything you’ll have in your life going forward. If you want to thrive, you have to focus on the things you can control, the difference you can make and the things that are already in your life that you’re grateful for. Work out the important things you want to accomplish in your life. Maybe that’s starting your own business to leave your family financially secure. Maybe that’s traveling to every country in the world. Maybe that’s looking after all the hungry in a particular city. No vision is too large. SET ACHIEVABLE GOALS Nothing happens overnight. All good things in life take time and effort, and even that can hang up those of us fully driven by vision. Accept that you will not change the world in a day. You’re starting with yourself – and changing yourself has a ripple effect that will change the world. The key to achieving your vision is setting achievable, intelligent goals for yourself. Each small milestone is one step closer to your vision and the life you want to live. Break your vision into smaller portions; for example, if you want to help families put food on the table, your early goals might involve donating to charities that feed the hungry, then becoming involved in those charities by helping them distribute the food. From there you can build out the goals until they ladder up to where you want to be. As you do this, keep your eye on the prize. Focus on what you want, not on any setbacks you may encounter. MANAGE YOUR STATE When you focus on vision, many elements in your life will fall into place on their own. Things that used to be massive stressors will seem minor in comparison. You understand that you aren’t just encountering one blow after another; no matter what happens, you’re still working toward your vision, toward what you want your life to be. And once you remember that all life is a work in progress and that changes and minor problems do not need to derail you, you’ll experience true breakthroughs. The truth is our life is really the only thing in the world we can control. Focus on your vision and let the stress fall away – your life is waiting for you. |
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from your saying you have many things to do at once , what is your inner passion in life remember that public speaking can an addition activities to what you want to study as a career in life so I will advise you go for law then add public speaking to yourself also once you are in LAW department you will have the courage, boldness and opportunites to do public speaking. I wish you all the best in your careers and life as a whole. See you on top. Cheers!!!! |
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Ways Being in a Relationship Can Help Your Finances-Finding the right partner can transform your financial life. If you’re thinking about marriage, you’re probably hoping you can find a partner who is not only in a good financial place, but who can also help you figure out how best to save, invest and grow your money. This isn’t always easy, especially when that may not even be the place you’re currently in. Where do you start especially when there’s so much you don’t know? There are many people out here who can guide you in making wise financial decisions concerning your money and assets. How do you begin to find the right person to guide you in your financial decision-making? By getting to know a person. There are certain qualities that point to someone being a great asset to your relationship. These partners see the possibility in their relationship and can help you achieve certain financial goals. Here are six ways to being in a relationship can help your finances. Shared Responsibility You like to spend and he likes to save, or vice versa. Money and finances are topics that couples rarely want to discuss, especially when you get the credit card bill for your part of the wedding finances and your honeymoon – but it’s an essential one. As soon as you tie your names together legally, you are both bound to certain responsibilities that’ll impact your ability to buy a home, save money and more. Who pays what share of the expenses is one of the major first year problems to deal with. People tend to avoid the conversation, especially in a new marriage because it can lead to arguments. But one of the benefits of marriage is that financial partnership is formed: two incomes and shared expenses. Couples who don’t talk finances establish a bad pattern where one of them is in the dark about money. Financial Focus It’s important that you and your partner are on the same page, especially when it comes to your financial goals. You should be dating someone who is financially trustworthy that has a big vision for your future together. Wouldn’t it be great to know that you’re with someone who is willing to put the work in so that you are both financially secure. If you and your partner are coming together and serious about getting your finances in order, there’s so much the two of you can accomplish together. Honesty Honesty and integrity are important in any relationship. You and your partner’s willingness to be open with each other can make or break the relationship. Relationships are about honesty. It’s imperative that you disclose any and all debt with your partner. Too often, debt is a source of shame in a relationship. If you are honest with your partner and committed to partnership, you both have the ability to pull each other out of any debt you’ve created. It’s all a matter of perspective. Nobody wants to inherit a bunch of debt, but if you know that together, you can help each other eliminate debt so that you can have a bright future, why not come together? Opening up to a partner can make us feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important ingredient of a trusting, intimate relationship. For a relationship to be balanced, partners must be able to depend on one another and feel that they are needed and appreciated for the support they give. While vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, it’s actually a strength. On top of being vulnerable, it’s important that you’re honest with yourself about your financial weaknesses. If they know this, they may be able to help you and vice versa. Accountability If you’ve had issues with finances, you should seek a partner that will hold you accountable – the ones that can help you through your financial situations. These shouldn’t be people who will agree with everything you say just to make you feel better about your actions or encourage you when you’re in a tempting situation. These potential partners will be honest with you, even when you’re in the wrong or making a poor financial decision. If you’ve fallen short with a financial choice, you have to accept responsibility for what you did. These people will encourage you to be honest with yourself and help you move past it. Better Communication Having conversations about money will force you to communicate better with your partner. You should be openly communicating with your partner. Make sure the space is one where you both feel you are being respected and can openly express your thoughts and feelings. You should let them know whatever’s on your mind regarding yourself, your relationship and hopes and dreams for the future. You should also encourage them to do the same. It’s also important that you don’t keep secrets from each other. Keeping secrets about even the smallest things makes it easier to keep the big issues quiet too. Keeping secrets of any kind is the first step towards damaging a relationship that used to be strong. Better Decision-Making A good partner can help you make the right choices in your relationship. Some of the decisions you make in your relationship have the power to make or break your relationship. If you want to protect your relationship from financial breakdown, make sure you’re making choices that are in the best interest of your relationship. This means you’re consciously making the effort to better yourself and save your relationship. If you find yourself in a questionable financial decision, you have an important decision to make. Hopefully, you will make the conscious choice to stay on track and do what’s best for your relationship. If you’re wondering if being in a relationship can help your finances, it really comes down to how you want to manage your money. While it may be intimidating to think of someone coming in to help you manage your money or spending your money on someone else, it’s valuable, especially when you have big financial goals. At this point in your life, your financial goals and options get more complicated. A financial planner can help you not only make wise financial decisions, but also save you a good amount of time. |
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Rejection is one of life’s golden opportunities. Most of us understand the negative aspects of rejection, the part that thrives on our insecurities, bets against our potential and discourages our dreams. But few of us are taught how to embrace the positive aspects of rejection. Right now you are probably thinking, surely I misunderstood. Are you telling me rejection is a good thing? Rejection is one of life’s golden opportunities. When you are feeling overlooked and forgotten, here are four things you can do to ease the pain and transform: 1. Use rejection to your advantage. Those who transform rejection and use it to their advantage, understand rejection is not about experiencing loss but discovering who or what qualifies for your future. They also view rejection as an opportunity to further understand God’s love, human relationships, and inner strength. Consider these essential truths about rejection: • Rejection is simply the reaction or opinion of another person. • Rejection is powerless without your cooperation. • Rejection is a friend who withholds no secrets, exposes all enemies and closes every wrong door. • Rejection is confirmation you possess an achievable dream. • Rejection reveals those persons incapable of distinguishing your personal worth. • Rejection is a guide, leading you away from dead-end relationships while directing you towards healthy and positive relationships. • How you respond to rejection reflects your self-worth. • Rejection exposes who or what does not belong in your future. • Rejection reveals who is intimidated by your potential. • Rejection is motivation to go in a new direction. 2. Know God is close. The desire to hear unspoken words of affirmation can be tormenting. There is a great lession when we will read the story of Joseph. When I think of the unnecessary heartache, he went through a sigh of empathy escapes my lips. If you’ve been pushed into dark places, by people you love you understand the pain I’m referring to. Sometimes the heaviest sorrows we carry, were placed on us by the people we love most. Maybe you have wondered where God is in your situation. Not in an accusing way, but in a “Why-haven’t-you-shown-up-yet?” kind of way. Sometimes when we go through deep trials, just having a friend show up and sit beside us brings comfort. They don’t have to bring words of wisdom; their presence speaks volumes about her loyalty. This could be true of our Father. We don’t have to hear His voice in order to feel His presence. |
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There is a lot of emotion around the area of our lives that we call relationships, and the reason for all that emotion is because we tend to make relationships life and death. We do that because whenever we enter into a relationship we come face-to-face with our deepest fears. Our partners, intimate and familial, our dearest friends, our kids, our parents — those for whom we care most deeply — are the most vivid mirrors life has to offer. Relationships reflect back to us our conditioning, driving needs and our belief systems. That’s why the quality of your life really is the quality of your relationships. So it’s no wonder relationships are so critical to us, and also the reason our relationships carry with them such strong charge. If there is one thing that Sage and I want to do, it’s to help neutralize the charge we bring to pure love. The truth is, you can solve anything with the ones you love if you drop the charge of blame. Every relationship offers us the opportunity to learn something, including the things that make us angry, frustrated or afraid. Those upsets aren’t coming from our partners, they’re coming from our conditioning, past impressions and our models of the world. (Including the models we don’t even like.) From those models of the world come all of the expectations we hold of ourselves and our partners. The upsets come from our own rules and expectations and the stories of blame we tell. |
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ALL GLORY BE TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST. YOU ALL ARE WELCOME 1 Like |
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DEVELOP THE RELATIONSHIP YOU DESERVE As you think about what makes a healthy relationship, remember that understanding your partner’s needs involves communicating effectively with them. You don’t need to be a mind reader to know what your partner wants – odds are they’ve told you. But communicating in a healthy relationship means listening. Remember, it’s not about you – it’s about what you can do for the person you love. Once you know what your needs are, and your partner’s, you can actively work to make sure they’re being met. What would you do for the love of your life? Anything, right? Meeting your significant other’s core needs will take you to profound levels of happiness, love, passion and trust. What if the road ahead is tough and full of challenges? Problems, obstacles and misalignments are opportunities to push forward and grow. You’ve heard of the phrase, “He/she got too comfortable.” If you’re completely comfortable in your relationship, you probably aren’t growing or changing. Lack of growth is better known as stagnation, which can lead to deterioration when it comes to a relationship. Growth is a product of uncertainty and an act of pushing into uncharted territory. Sometimes discomfort is a good thing, so don’t let fear hold your relationship – or you – back. None of this means that you need to ignore or play down the differences between you and your partner. On the contrary, appreciating your differences is essential to maintaining a sense of excitement in the relationship. Those little differences are what awakened your interest in each other in the first place, and this is something that you should always keep close to your hearts and minds. Appreciate each other and you will not only appreciate the life you have created together – you’ll revel in it. TRUST YOURSELF - AND YOUR PARTNER Trust is the foundation of all productive and healthy relationships. From trust springs respect, and both are necessary for sharing, interaction and growth. And it’s during times of stress and uncertainty, when your mutual commitment can be subject to doubt, that you truly discover how much – or how little – you trust one another. Can your partner trust you to be there for them, even when you’re stressed or uncertain? Can your partner trust you to be honest and clear with them, even when you feel like what you have to say might wound them? Do they trust that you will meet their needs Trust starts with you. Are you true to yourself? No one can trust you if you don’t trust yourself enough to express your natural essence and personality. Reclaim and embrace the pieces of yourself you may have suppressed. Once you’re comfortable expressing and loving yourself, you will inspire confidence in your partner and the flow of trust between you can blossom from there. When thinking about how to have a healthy relationship, know that being true to – and confident in – yourself is a vital element in forward-looking conflict resolution in your relationship. It’s important to be honest and courageous when you face disappointment, pain and surprise. The most passionate romances have moments of sadness. Don’t avoid conflicts when they come. Face them honestly and fearlessly, knowing that you and your partner are up to any challenge. Practice full engagement with an open heart every day. You already know that intimacy isn’t just physical, but consider that it isn’t just about big, serious, capital R “Relationship Moments” either. Intimacy is also about the smaller everyday moments, where you and your partner enjoy playful, honest exchanges that are easy to take for granted. It’s sitting next to one another on the couch watching your favorite movie for the 10th time. It’s making your partner’s favorite meal without them asking you to. If you achieve this level of joy and connection in your relationship, you will guard it faithfully against any assault. If you find yourself struggling in your efforts to connect, keep pushing. A magnificent, passionate relationship takes work. Practice the discipline of truth and free expression when you experience hurt in your relationship. Learn to communicate your thoughts and emotions in the moment so you can address these issues and avoid seeding resentment that will otherwise emerge later in the relationship. |
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What does your ideal relationship look like? What are your needs? What values would your ideal relationship embrace? When you start thinking about how to have a healthy relationship, don’t immediately zero in on what the other person should be like or what they should do for you. Instead, focus on the relationship itself and what the interplay between the two of you looks like. Which special characteristics does this relationship have? What brings you and your partner together? Close your eyes and imagine how happy you and your partner make each other. Envision feeling completely fulfilled and loved by another person. How does that feel? More importantly, why does it feel that way? Ask yourself what it is that makes this potential relationship so extraordinary. Can you put it into words? You might not immediately be able to say what makes it feel so special, but on a fundamental level, it is a healthy relationship. But what is a healthy relationship? There are so many qualities and factors behind the emotions and actions that make up healthy relationships. But all truly extraordinary love affairs share one thing: they are the result of commitment to the ongoing mastery of fundamental relationship skills. Daily practice of these skills is a must. Developing the habits and patterns to create and maintain an extraordinary relationship requires conscious application and repetition of good behavior and communication. Once these habits have been established between you and your partner, the beautiful, passionate and healthy relationship you deserve will follow and endure. MEET YOUR PARTNER'S CORE NEEDS The strength and health of your relationship depend on the communication abilities of you and your partner. If your expectations are low and you’re not putting in the effort to grow with your partner, the result will be a stale and deteriorating relationship. What is it that you truly want from your relationship? What are the standards you’d hold for your dream partner? What do you expect from your partner, physically and emotionally? Whatever it is, that’s the bar that you should hold for yourself, and your relationship, too. You are an active participant in this relationship; the way you want them to show up for you is the way you must show up for them. |
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A positive approach to conflict can transform your relationship: When we get upset in a relationship, it really comes from a place of fear – fear that someone or something isn’t going according to plan. So we react by trying to regain control of the situation. And one of the most common – and also most damaging – ways that we do that is by punishing someone in a relationship.When you start to punish your partner, you risk creating a deep level of injury. There is no love in punishment – only hurt, pain and neglect. Being punished in a relationship makes the individual feel even more alone and more misunderstood. And when punishment is used over and over again, there can be a serious break in trust, so that even if both of you stay in the relationship, there will be a massive emotional, psychological and even spiritual divide. The partner being punished will put up a wall to protect him- or herself from enduring more pain. But what is the alternative to punishing in a relationship? How do you express your disappointment and ensure that your partner learns from the experience? It comes down to one key ingredient – pleasure. THE JACKPOT If you really want to transform your relationship, you must understand the power of “the jackpot.” It stems from a research study on the way dolphins are trained. Dolphins are inherently sensitive creatures. They are highly social, but if something happens that breaks their state, they can fall into a deep frustration. Now, research has shown that when a trainer wants them to step out of that frustration and perform for them, but chooses to do so with force and anger, the dolphin feels that energy and retreats even further. However, when the trainer implements “the jackpot” – I.e., taking an entire bucket of fish and dumping it on the head of the dolphin – the dolphin becomes so overwhelmed with pleasure and joy that it is able to break out of its depressive state. And when the dolphin begins to perform the way the trainer wants, the trainer immediately reinforces it. They never punish; they only reinforce. And when there is nothing there to reinforce, the trainer only seeks to create a little spark that ultimately guides the dolphin in the right direction This is not meant to minimize the complexity of humans, nor to be condescending. It’s simply meant for you to open your eyes and see that there is always a choice of how to approach a problem. Take potty-training as another example. Should you punish your child when he or she doesn’t use the toilet correctly? Or do you reward and reinforce the good behavior? Any modern parenting handbook would recommend the latter. It goes even further – sometimes, you reward even attempts or intentions of good behavior because if you waited for perfect behavior to give a reward, you’d be waiting a very long time. So you reward their effort, even if it doesn’t result in a complete success. OPENING TO A NEW TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP The jackpot is all about creating an opening in the relationship. When you open up, even during the difficult times, when you’re scared and hurt and angry, and choose to say “I love this man or this woman, and I don’t want to cause more pain,” that is when you are really fighting for the relationship. As you focus on kindness and positive reinforcement instead of punishing someone in a relationship, you also open the way to creating a healthier bond. By approaching your partner with kindness and compassion, you are encouraging them to do the same for you. This allows you to better communicate with your partner, sharing their struggles instead of viewing them from a distance. You’ll feel and be closer to them. Kindness is not a fixed trait in a relationship. Think of it rather as a muscle – something that must be worked on every single day if it is to develop. And when we treat each other with kindness and compassion, we are essentially training each other on how we should treat each other |
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ALL GLORY BE TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST, YOU ARE BLESS AND GOD MAKE YO[img][/img]U HAPPY AND FULFILS EVERY OF YOUR DREAMS . GOD WILL PERFECT EVERYTHING THATCONCERN YOU IN JESUS NAME. |
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A conflict with your partner can make you feel attacked or threatened, vulnerable and weak, and this can make you recoil and retreat. When things your partner does upsets you and you feel that you’re under siege, you’re less likely to respond constructively and more likely to resort to old standbys like “the silent treatment” that, ultimately, do more harm than good. This will eventually cause your relationship to break down completely. If anyone asked you if you knew how to resolve conflict, you’d probably say yes, and if they asked you whether the silent treatment was a smart way to deal with conflict, you’d almost certainly say no. You know better than to resort to these silly tactics, but if you’re hurt enough, you do it anyway. Why? Why fall back on negative patterns instead of working to actually fix the communication issues at hand?HOW TO ESTABLISH NEW HABITS You must want to be constructive to make it happen, especially if you need to overcome your own hurt feelings to figure out how to fix your relationship. You may have a wonderful store of knowledge, skills and tools, but if you lack the intention to use them, the point is moot. We have a tendency of retaliating and responding to hostility with more hostility, which creates a vicious cycle that amplifies and escalates the negativity of a conflict. This is called the retaliatory spiral, and it can cause a relationship to wither and, eventually, end. You’re using negative habits to self-sabotage. What causes this? A conflict becomes harmful when you’re focused on defending yourself from attack rather than on solving the problem that would help the relationship overcome the obstacle. By focusing on your pain and suffering, you are ensuring you’ll experience more of the same, because you’re failing to put your energy toward the one thing that will prevent the pain and suffering: finding solutions to help you learn how to save your relationship. It’s because people would focus all their attention on not hitting the pole. But, our focus determines our direction. If we don’t want to hit the pole, we need to focus on what we want: steer the car toward either side of the pole. By changing our focus, we can change the result. The lesson applies to your relationship. If you focus on where you don’t want your relationship to end up, fighting and letting anger build over, you’ll find yourself where you don’t want to be – either in a painful, unfulfilling relationship or separated from your partner altogether. If you focus on resolving conflict and growing together, you’ll be focused on the outcomes that you do want and you’ll achieve them. That is, envision yourself communicating well with your partner. The two of you are fulfilled and happy with one another, and have the tools you need to create a beautiful, passionate, long-lasting relationship. Where focus goes, energy flows. By switching perspective and focus, you can turn a conflict from something bad into an opportunity to take your relationship to the next level. This demands intent, which you set ahead of time and practice in the moment. You learn to respond not with escalation, but with constructive steps that shore up the foundation of your relationship. 1 Like |
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You couldn’t stand being away from your partner at the beginning of your relationship. You thought about them all the time. You were physically near them whenever possible. Why is that? It’s because there was an initial spark, an enormous sense of passion, that was binding you two together. Over time, you’ve found that that passion has fizzled. You still love your partner, but your relationship is lacking the magnetic attraction it once had. One thing is certain: Love is not enough. You need both love and passion for your relationship to work. What helps create passion in a relationship? Polarity. Polarity is the ultimate key to passion. In any successful relationship that has an intimate connection and sexual attraction, there is polarity. What does this mean exactly? Polarity is defined as the spark that occurs between two opposing energies — masculine and feminine. Gender does not affect whether you have masculine or feminine energy. Couples can be the same or opposite sex, but in order for the pairing to work, one partner has to provide the masculine energy while the other brings the feminine. The primary driving force behind masculine energy is working toward a direction or goal, while feminine energy seeks emotional fulfillment and connection. Has your relationship depolarized? You’re not feeling the connection you used to because both of you have developed the same type of energy, be it masculine or feminine. This can happen in a variety of ways. A masculine partner can become more feminine when they are required to take on the role of caretaker in the relationship, and a feminine partner can become more masculine when they’re tasked with leading the charge in major decisions or confronting stressful situations. When polarities become too similar, passion dies. Now what do you have? In place of what was once a sexy, fun, amazing relationship is now a friendship. Whether you want to save your relationship, reignite a lost sense of passion or are single but want to learn how to find the ideal partner, attending Date with Destiny can help you do so. Date with Destiny is an annual six-day event that will help you understand the forces that drive your behaviors and thoughts, including those that affect your relationship. [b]GAINING CLARITY Have you ever held two magnets together? You know that similar energies repel each other, but opposites attract. The same is true of masculine and feminine energies. Two people with similar energies can love each other, but they can never have passion. Couples who attend Date with Destiny learn how to identify and understand what type of energy both people embody. Attending as a single person? You’re still in good company. Date with Destiny can help those looking for love to identify their core energy and how to notice the energy of potential partners. When you know what you’re looking for in a relationship, it’s easier to find someone with compatible polarity and develop passion. You’ll discuss the power of polarity and the many aspects that define masculine and feminine energy. Tony Robbins and his team will challenge you to look at the current state of your relationship. Is it truly all it could be right now? Why not? If both you and your partner want to make this partnership work, what’s preventing you from doing so? You’ll knock down the walls you’ve built up over time with your partner and gain an understanding of why you do the things you do |
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Creating a meaningful career is one of the most consequential pursuits in life. Our capacity for career success is often the measure by which we evaluate all of our success, and our sense of happiness often hinges on finding career fulfillment. Whether you’re in the process of launching a new career or changing your current profession, you deserve to find a path that fits your interests, goals and personality. Now is your chance to get to know yourself so that choosing a career path comes naturally. Understanding how to choose a career centers around viewing your profession as an expression of your passions. Get back to yourself – what drives you, your working style and leadership style – and you’ll create the rewarding career of your dreams. HOW TO CHOOSE A CAREER Choosing a career path is an empowering process. You have everything you need within you to discover your dream career. To build a toolbox for growing your career, write down the passions and gifts you bring to the table. You’ll find that understanding how to choose a career boils down to leveraging your unique traits and talents. PRIORITIZE FULFILLMENT Choosing a career path is a different ballgame from selecting a job. A job may meet a number of short-term needs, including income, direction, networking and skill development. Having a job also implies work – a duty-driven task replete with meaning that saps your enthusiasm. A career is mission-driven, connects to your passions, meets your short-term needs and provides genuine fulfillment. When you are trying to build your career, it’s easy to become distracted or discouraged by your weaknesses. The reality is that all of us have weaknesses, and it’s your strengths that are your gift to the business world. Understanding your gift is the secret to contentment, so ask yourself: What is my gift? Are you an artist? A manager? An entrepreneur? Your business identity, including the skills and attitudes that drive your decisions, distinguishes you as a professional. By recognizing and leveraging your natural assets, you’re able to make the most of your talents in choosing a career path. VALUE YOUR GIFT 3 Likes 1 Share |
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What does your ideal relationship look like? What are your needs? What values would your ideal relationship embrace? When you start thinking about how to have a healthy relationship, don’t immediately zero in on what the other person should be like or what they should do for you. Instead, focus on the relationship itself and what the interplay between the two of you looks like. Which special characteristics does this relationship have? What brings you and your partner together? Close your eyes and imagine how happy you and your partner make each other. Envision feeling completely fulfilled and loved by another person. How does that feel? More importantly, why does it feel that way? Ask yourself what it is that makes this potential relationship so extraordinary. Can you put it into words? You might not immediately be able to say what makes it feel so special, but on a fundamental level, it is a healthy relationship. ut what is a healthy relationship? There are so many qualities and factors behind the emotions and actions that make up healthy relationships. But all truly extraordinary love affairs share one thing: they are the result of commitment to the ongoing mastery of fundamental relationship skills. Daily practice of these skills is a must. Developing the habits and patterns to create and maintain an extraordinary relationship requires conscious application and repetition of good behavior and communication. Once these habits have been established between you and your partner, the beautiful, passionate and healthy relationship you deserve will follow and endure. |
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What brings two people together and creates a lasting connection filled with love, passion and excitement? And what is it that can ultimately extinguish that spark? How is it that people who once felt such a deep love and attraction can find themselves feeling alone, misunderstood, even dead inside, because the passion has been replaced with pain? Relationship stress comes in many forms, but it doesn’t have to signal an ending. The key to avoiding these pitfalls is to understand the common stressors that negatively impact your relationships and how each source of relationship stress can ultimately devastate your connection if not addressed. It’s also essential to establish clear lines of communication with your partner so that you both focus on fulfilling each other’s deepest desires and needs, instead of ignoring these needs and contributing to greater relationship stress. |
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INNOVATE AND GIVE THE RELATIONSHIP YOUR BEST EFFORT When you and your partner were just starting out, you wanted to show the very best side of yourself to each other. You consistently thought about ways to make your partner feel special, such as leaving them love notes or planning extravagant dates for one another. More than anything, you were your partner’s biggest fan and they were yours. When did that stop and how did that coincide with your need to learn how to rekindle a relationship? It’s easy to fall into comfortable habits in relationships and stop putting forth as much conscious effort, but resist taking the easy way out in your love life. Remember that committing to continually improving your relationship is one of the 10 cardinal rules of love. Want to know how to rekindle a relationship? Consider that the success of your partnership works the exact same way as the success of your initial courtship. Remember what you did to win your partner over. How happy would your partner feel today if you took a few extra minutes to remind them they are loved? Understand that your connection will continue to strengthen and deepen if you innovate and make extraordinary efforts. Fixing a relationship almost takes care of itself when you start putting the effort from your early days into a relationship that is more mature. . |
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TRANSFORMATIVE RADICAL INNOVATION In today’s agTRANSFORMATIVE RADICAL INNOVATION In today’s age of rapid technological and social change, a business that doesn’t innovate won’t last. As a business owner, if you don’t adapt to the evolving needs and preferences of your clientele, your competition will leave you in the dust. To remain competitive, you must commit to constantly improving your processes, products and services so that they always add real value to your customers’ lives. Rather than remain inert in the status quo, you must embrace radical innovation that impacts your entire industry. By making radically innovative change part of your company culture, you’re able to stay ahead of the curve and create lasting customer loyalty. e of rapid technological and social change, a business that doesn’t innovate won’t last. As a business owner, if you don’t adapt to the evolving needs and preferences of your clientele, your competition will leave you in the dust. To remain competitive, you must commit to constantly improving your processes, products and services so that they always add real value to your customers’ lives. Rather than remain inert in the status quo, you must embrace radical innovation that impacts your entire industry. By making radically innovative change part of your company culture, you’re able to stay ahead of the curve and create lasting customer loyalty. |
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WHAT ARE YOUR PARTNER’S NEEDS? Do you want to feel that passion like you did on the first day you met? You may be ready to listen and give, but how do you know what it is that your partner wants? How does your partner best understand what you’re trying to give? When addressing lack of passion in a relationship, you must get clear on what it is your partner truly needs from you – even if they don’t know how to communicate it. Most of us have a perceptual bias in the way we communicate. Is your partner more of an auditory person who likes to talk and listen? Or, are they more receptive to visual input, preferring lots of eye contact or seeing your words put into action? Perhaps your partner prefers kinesthetic communication or the stimulus of touch and needs to have physical reassurance on top of verbal communication. If you can’t speak their “love language,” you will find that no passion in your relationships will be an ongoing issue. Pay attention to your partner’s communication cues. If you know their perceptual bias, you can adjust your communication style to work in tandem with theirs and ultimately find out how to get passion back in your relationship. By being sensitive to each other’s biases, you will both get more of the excitement and affection you want. Once you’re on the same page as your partner, you can work to better understand how to meet each other’s needs. These manifest in as many ways as there are people, but they all come back to six fundamental human needs. 1. The first human need is certainty, the need to be comfortable, enjoy pleasure and avoid pain. A person with masculine energy can meet the certainty need by being emotionally present, open and honest for their feminine energy partners, even when they are upset. Someone with feminine energy can meet this need by showing their masculine energy partners that their love is unconditional – not just saying so, but being present and refraining from withdrawing even when things go wrong. Little to no passion in a relationship is often the result of uncertainty – but not the beneficial type of uncertainty. 2. Uncertainty is the second human need, because we can exercise and demonstrate our physical and emotional range only when challenges and variety are present. Each relationship has masculine and feminine energy (we’ll dive into that more later). Masculine-energized partners can meet this need by initiating surprise dates or token gifts with their feminine partners. Feminine partners can meet this need by being more provocative, and by, for those looking to spice up the bedroom, surprising physically. Lack of passion in a relationship can sometimes be the result of simple boredom, so injecting a little uncertainty into romantic encounters can shake up the routine and reignite passion. 3. The third is to feel significant, needed, special and wanted. Anyone can meet this need by thinking of different ways they can show their partner how important they are. What small thing can you do today, this week or this month to show your partner that there is no one else on Earth who could take their place? What can you do to show how grateful you are for their love? How can you show them their uniqueness is appreciated? When you focus on being your partner’s number one fan, how to get passion back in your relationship becomes much easier. 4. Fourth is love and connection with others. You can best meet this need for your partner by understanding how they experience the world and how they prefer to receive love. If your partner is very visual, they will love it if you gaze into their eyes or wear their favorite clothes; if your partner loves thoughtful gestures, even a small gift will mean the world to them. 5. The fifth human need is growth, because without emotional, intellectual and spiritual development we cannot rise to our potential. This is true of individuals, but it’s just as true for relationships. If you’re not growing, you’re dying. Put in the work that it takes to understand each other and find innovative ways to make things work for both of you to address lack of passion in your relationship. 6. Finally, the sixth need is contribution and giving. Giving is the secret to wealth and fulfillment. What would you do to make the person you love happy? Would you expect something in return or is seeing them in a beautiful state enough? When we give without expectation and focus on appreciation, we give passion a place to flourish. |
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3 PRINCIPLES FOR DECISION-MAKING IN RELATIONSHIPS. Anyone who has ever tried to make a decision – small or big – with their partner knows how difficult it is. Why is it so hard? When you are single, your decisions are your own; they only require personal buy-in and typically they have very little impact on other people. (Or at least that’s what you tell yourself!) When you’re in a committed relationship, on the other hand, decisions require buy-in from both parties, and nearly every decision you make has an impact on your partner. Once two people enter into a relationship, the number of decisions they should make on their own decreases significantly because their respective decision circles overlap. This is not necessarily because all of these decisions must be made together, but rather because nearly every decision you make individually in a relationship has an impact on the other person. In order to maintain a healthy relationship, each partner must at least consider their spouse when making decisions. Whether you are actively making decisions together or considering one another in your individual decisions, there are relatively few that you should make completely on your own. However, the degree to which your two decision circles overlap is entirely up to you and your partner, and it is different for every couple. Still, the more decisions a couple can successfully share and/or confidently defer to the others judgement on, the better. If one or both partners are making excessive unilateral decisions, then, sooner or later, the relationship will suffer. THREE PRINCIPLES FOR JOINT DECISION-MAKING Now you’re ready to make all these decisions as a couple, right? Not so fast. To effectively take action, there are three principles that you must live by as you go through the process: Communication. Understand one another’s perspective. How do they see things? Let them tell you what they see and what they believe to be true. Make sure they understand that their input is valuable and contributes significantly to the outcome, the final decision. Respect. When your partner makes his or her own decisions, you must openly and wholeheartedly respect their judgement and allow them the freedom to succeed or fail on their own. Trustworthiness. When making your own decisions, you must consistently show your partner that you can make good decisions on your own. As Tony often says, It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently that makes a lasting change. |
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What do you do when you have conflicts in your relationship? Many of us have strategies to apply in other areas of our life – like our physical health or our careers – but we sometimes assume conflict in relationships will just work itself out. That if we ignore the problem, it will go away. This is a recipe for ultimate pain. The truth is, all passionate relationships are going to have the occasional fight. The trick is to transform the conflict into opportunity by bringing more fun and energy to the relationship. How do you do it? Next time you find yourself in a silly or familiar argument try play fighting. This will immediately change the meaning of the argument. If you raise your voice, do it in a goofy accent and jump around like an angry cartoon character. Make the whole conflict ridiculous. This eases the tension of the situation, and you will come to a resolution faster when you are both in a relaxed state from laughing at each other. |
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Ways Christians Must Handle Confrontation In Nelson Searcy’s book Tongue Pierced, he warns Christians to choose their words wisely as these are the governing forces of life. Here he offers some tips on how Christians should resolve conflict. Mastering Confrontation & Conflict In Nelson Searcy’s book Tongue Pierced, he warns Christians to choose their words wisely as these are the governing forces of life. Here he offers some tips on how Christians should resolve conflict. Follow God’s Lead Make sure God is leading you to initiate the encounter. One of the best ways to discern God’s leading is to detect your excitement level. If you’re too excited you might be moving in pride. There should be a sense of humility tugging at you along with a healthy sense of dread to confront someone in love. Request A Private Meeting In order to be effective and protect the relationship, approach them in private. If done in public the person will more than likely try to save face and become defensive. The Bible says, “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense,” (Matt. 18:15). Follow these words to maintain your relationship. Prepare to share your thoughts Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance moment to moment. Make sure your own feelings are in check so that each word and thought is conveyed in love. You may even want to write it down first and remember to always consider the other person. It’s a tough position to be confronted, so be compassionate. Tell the truth and leave the rest to God Don’t overdo it. Communicate the truth that God has placed on your heart and then let His Spirit do the inner work. The words you speak will be confirmation and they will know it (even if they don’t admit it). Offer grace and support Healthy confrontation is not about holding another person’s sin against them. It’s about being a conduit for God’s correction. Rightly motivated confrontation will always be followed by a natural stream of compassion and support |
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There are so many things to know about depression. These 10 things about depression form the basics of what you need to know when dealing with someone depressed. First, you need to know the difference between depression and sadness. It’s a bigger difference than you might think. You must realize that men and women react differently to depression. This is important because husband/wife relationships are really tested when one partner is depressed. Depression does not mean you are weak, lazy, or broken. Remember that. A depressed person is simply fighting enormous despair and is using all energy to stay alive. There are many causes of depression. Every depressed person has their own particular reason for being depressed. Not all reasons are created by people. It’s okay to talk about despair and suicide when depressed. Talk is a safe, simple way to deal with depression. Talking about suicide actually decreases the risk of a person attempting suicide. Hugs are welcome! Hugs create feelings of trust, love, and support. Tell the depressed person he/she is loved. Love is unconditional. “I love you,” says, “I’m not trying to change you. I accept you, I’m here to support you whatever way you want me to, and I trust you.” If you notice signs of suicide, talk to the person. You might be saving a life by talking about suicide. If there’s already been a suicide attempt, don’t try to ignore or cover it up. Someone who attempted suicide will try again. Depression is not the same as being sad. Sadness is a temporary emotional state. Sadness is emotional pain triggered by a painful, difficult, challenging, or disappointing experience. You feel sad about some-thing. Sadness is a healthy release of despair. Crying brings your serotonin, dopamine, and glutamate levels back to normal. You can pull yourself out of sadness. You will move past sadness and experience joy again. Depression is a permanent illness that affects the brain, body, emotions, and spirituality. Depression affects every part of your life. You can get out of sadness without needing medications. But in depression, you need medications to stabilize you. You will have to be on anti-depressants for years, perhaps all your life. Depression literally changes your brain structure. Depression affects memory and attention. It affects how you interact with others, time management, and energy. You don’t enjoy things you used to enjoy. This is called anhedonia. You self harm. You lose hope. |
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