sorry to hear.maybe engage yourself in things that you enjoy doing if you have any hobbies. also stay around positive people and remain strong

you need to take iron supplements to make up for the iron you lose in your blood. iron depletion causes anaemia (weakness), you also need to see a good doctor

beans is actually very good. it's really high in fiber, has a low GI and a good source of protein.

the only problem is at the initial time you start eating it frequently, your stomach flora may not be well adjusted to it and it could lead to flatulence. but once you've done it for a while, your body adjusts.

i ate beans just about every day for over a year and only just stopped. i'm trying to get back into that again sef,  and it's good that you can mix it up - normal beans with palm oil/stew, or akara or moin moin,  yumm

okay two things:

1) stop craving fizzy drinks so that you don't add diabetes to the mix

2) go and see your doctor asap

PS: please why do ppl come to nairaland instead of going to see their doctor?

amazing tale of resilience. 

beautiful chic too.

God bless her.

@OP, have you been to see a chiropractor? if not, you probably should

some simple steps you could take to help are sleeping face-up with your back on the bed. also, sleeping on a hard -surface like the floor helps.  in addition, you might want to invest in ergonomic chairs if you sit for extended time periods cos they mold the shape of your back and cause less strain when sitting. if you don't have access to that, balance small soft cushions/pillows at your back whenever you sit.

@OP, I am sorry to read your case, it is indeed very sad.

But I think the two main things on your mind now are:

1) Should you tell other guys about your medical predicament?

2) Should you take your husband back?

1) Should you tell other guys about your medical predicament?

I think to be of a good and clear conscience, you ought to lay it all on the table. most people go into marriages with the intention of having children. There are two things that could possibly go wrong in the event that you don't inform him beforehand. The first is, he eventually finds out about your womb, or even if he doesn't, simply realises that you are not getting pregnant. he feels bad about it and keeps hoping and praying with you to have children, whereas you are nursing the secret guilt within yourself. in this situation, your relationship could go awry cos neither party is happy. the second consequence is whether or not you tell him/he finds out, if kids are not forthcoming, he is likely to start looking outside. it's a sad, but not far-fetched possibility. and at this stage, noone has even mentioned pressure from family and relatives for him to produce heirs.

so suffice it to say that there really is no benefit of your not telling him cos he is bound to find out, sooner or later, that you cannot bear kids for him,  even if he doesn't know the specifics of why exactly it is the case.

now let's look on the positive side, shall we? in the event that you do tell him of your predicament, it turns out there are actually some guys who may not need children. you ever considered dating a guy that already has a kid or two and is not that keen on more? moreover, if you find a guy who really loves you, he just might be willing to give all of his desires for children up for his love for you. you just never know. in addition, there is always adoption as one of your alternatives. your husband might be receptive to that idea. it's worth exploring.

2) Should you take your husband back?

This is entirely up to you. It is not left to nairalanders to decide your fate for you. What we can do is tell you how we see things from a neutral point of view, and how much value you choose to place on our opinions is totally up to you.

but more often than not, a neutral point of view is usually the more practical and realistic cos it is not blinded by love nor circumstances.

my neutral point of view is not to go back to an abusive relationship. never make anyone, and i repeat, anyone, make you feel like you are not worthy of the best. if he could throw you out once, he will throw you out again. a leopard does not change its stripes. Now he will say he's sorry, it was the devil that made him throw you out. Next time he throws you out, he will come back to beg and say it was demons, next time, it will be the fault of hell.

that reason of someone telling him no woman will ever survive in his house if not you, it just reminds me of the movie Bridget Jones' Diary (with Renee Zellwegger). if you have seen the movie, there's a part where the guy she really liked who had broken up with her came back to beg after "testing the waters" with other women. he begs her and says "If I can't make it with you, then I can't make it with anyone". Renee, smitten with love, yet still reeling from the heartbreak of rejection, considers for a moment and replies "That's not a good enough offer for me". that was a classic response.his not being able to make it with others was entirely his issue and totally independent of Bridget, so she did not have to robe herself into his shortcomings. he is the one who needed to work on himself to improve his [/b]chances in the dating pool.

to cut a long story short, in response to your husband's offer, your response should be: [b]"That's not a good enough offer for me".

but then again, like i said, we only have opinions, you are the one who would need to make the final call.

on a last note, what makes you think your womb is destroyed? have you sought second opinion, and a third, a fourth? what have you tried to possibly remedy the situation? how convinced are you that your womb is totally destroyed beyond repair? have you done enough to convince yourself beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the case?

do bear in mind that doctors make mistakes. you are the one who needs to take responsibility for yourself and your health to ensure you have solicited the best medical opinion and care that there is. do take care, and i wish you all the best,

NnamdiN:

lol I'm nt a marketer and, I in no way, implied dat u couldn't read, d jargons I used could av been understood in seconds by a guy, but 4get it anyway, I'm so sorry if I came across as being rude, was only tryna help,  Do have a lovely  day.

Bia, please the next time you choose to make such a baseless and ignorant statement as the highlighted, do us all a favor and keep your chauvinistic opinions to yourself. If you really must get it out, write it down on paper, store it under your pillow and read it aloud to yourself every night. Thanks.

globexl:

What is  this obsession with how a woman dresses? Who defines what is provocative? A few decades ago it was considered provocative for a woman to wear trousers and a few decades further it was provocative for a woman to wear skirts. Why does the male ego always have to blame the women for their weaknesses?
I really dont get it?

wear pant and bra to your next job interview. and if the interviewer so much as asks why you are dressed as such, give them a full lecture on the evolution of modern day dressing and its relevance, or lack therof. i am sure the experience would help clarify some of your questions.

@sexkillz, i just dey jare

@OP,

to hold a top position in your company, you must have proved yourself capable of resolving issues that have arisen under different circumstances. i don't see how the issue of your secretary's adjusted skirt is proving more challenging than any of the others you have faced

@oohunt, you are so right. iv never really understood it myself. don't quite know the point they are trying to make. which again, is why i'm confused about why the OP doesn't know how to handle this situation. as a top personnel, he holds the yam and the knife of her career there. give her a stern warning, or like someone suggested, send out an office-wide memo on people's mode of dressing and the consequences of not complying thereby. if she chooses to ignore the warning, she should be prepared to bear the consequences.

let us not enslave ourselves to money

i don't know about most important, but both people need to be on the same moral page.

lol,  coming into this thread, i thought "what hairstyle can terry g possibly do that would be more ridiculous than what he currently has", but i have to confess he has indeed outdone himself this time

kini big deal? support her ofcourse!!

i strongly believe for as long as we are alive, we remain students of life; whether or not our institution of learning is from life's experiences or it's programmed within a formalised institution remains irrelevant. the most important thing is that we keep learning and bettering ourselves

hey Dr Bright, as odd as your situation might sound, it might surprise you to find that there would be many others with the same or similar phobias. so don't think it's something that is unique to you. everyone is different and your problem might be A, your neighbour's problem might be B and your friend's problem would be C.

bottomline is, your situation is not characteristic, but it is still not out-of-the-ordinary. what you can do is try to work on it. women may come across as slightly intimidating, but they are not all that bad.

what i suggest is you learning to have female acquaintances. find one and get close to that one just as a friend. learn how she sees things. laugh at the silly ones, agree with the sensible ones and appreciate the good ones. then if possible find another female friend, do the same, etc. you'll eventually see that there really isn't much to women behind the facade. by becoming comfortable with one or two, you would eventually become comfortable with others. all the best

ps: don't worry about losing a limb. women see more of a man's personality than his physical appearance. project a confident front, and people won't see disability at all when they look at you.

as much as people are free to prefer slim to being slightly (or moreso) overweight, you would do yourself some good to remember that you won't always look the way you did when she met you either. if you choose to leave her when/if she puts on weight with age and from bearing your own children, remember she could equally have the option to leave you when your hairline recedes or disappears or you develop a gut or you lose your job or you have any other problem she can't be bothered dealing with cos it's really your problem, not hers.

why can't you stand by her and work with her? why then are you in the relationship? i shake my head at ppl saying "if she gains weight after i marry her, maybe i will have to leave",  so why the heck did you get married? did your vows at the altar mean nothing to you? you think marriage is child's play? you would have to overcome many, and i repeat, many, hurdles in your journey together, and believe me when i say weight would be one of your least worries.

moreover, ppl can be big and beautiful. the goal is to be healthy, not to be stick-skinny. i blame the west and the media for infusing us with anorexic-looking girls and convincing us that is the ideal for a beautiful woman.

i just hope women would learn to be more confident in themselves and their weight and not wait for a man to define, on their behalf, whether they are in an acceptable weight range or not. women should look at themselves, if they don't feel comfortable with the way they look, they should work on it. if they feel comfortable, then that's good for them. any man that comes along can lovingly make a suggestion about her weight, and it becomes her prerogative whether or not to accept it, depending ofcourse on how much she values her man's opinion. but any man who dims it fit to give a threat or an ultimatum, is just being plain ridiculous.

Mekozoral:

I am eniola, female, good looking,aged 27+,a graduate also hold a professional certificatn,'ve been out of relatnship 4 7yrs nw cos am a vigin nd wud be a bit distracted 4rm my academics.All these while,i've focused all my attentn on my books so as 2 come out wif a very gd grade,get a gd job nd tkcare of my sibblings,though i am d last but seem 2be d one who's serious amongst all,moreso my elder sista  is living in poverty wit her kids, so hav always thought of taking care of her immediately i graduate,I hav been in a petty trade  2support myself financially, coupled wif d ones i get 4rm my parents inorder nt to flirt,because of dis, i can't count d nos of men who wants 2go out wifme dat i've turned down  cos i know they'll wana sleep wif me while claiming to b assisting me financially.i've suffered so much,many times i go 2 bed empty stomach,menstratn witout money 4 pad,i've endured but there seem 2b no change,it's a yr plus now dat i've graduated but yet 2get a job,i am d only one left d area i stay,those dat are married are married,those wif jobs 've quit there parents home,but it's just me alone,infact i'm always indoor cos pple now mock me,my mum makes d whole matter worse,she called me recently nd told me dat if there is somfin i'm doin dat is nt gd i shud stop dat i'm payin 4my sins datz why i've no husband nd job.in recent times,i met dis man who works in one of d big cities in Nigeria,promised 2help me get a job but on  a conditn dat i'll 've 2go out wit him.this suffering is too much i'v been selling all sort of goods item  since 18yrs combinin it wif my educatn,but i've stopped cos it's stressful,i need a positive change in my life,but having com dis far, does it make any sence losing my pride just like dis when is nt as if i'm nt brilliant,but naija factor of connectn b4 u can be employed.PLS MY PEOPLE SHOULD I HOLD ON A BIT MORE, OR LET HIM GO?COS I'VE PRAYED FOR A CHANGE BUT IT IS GETTING TOO LONG.honest advise nd opinion pls don't insult me.10x  

i am really sorry to hear your story. i really feel your pain. my advise to you though, is that all the good things of life will come in their own time. if you have chosen to live life with certain values, never let your circumstances make you to compromise them. i am sure that if you remain steadfast and keep searching for what you can put your hands to do, God would eventually give you something, and something very good.

@Ranoscky, she doesn't need to have a boyfriend to necessarily improve her condition. what if she gets a boyfriend who is not able to find her a job? or have boyfriends now started doubling up as recruitment agencies? the more practical role that her so-called boyfriend might serve is give her some money every now and again. but somehow, i don't think that's what Mekozoral here is after. i think she is after a more steady and lasting income-source and profession than a periodic handout.

moreover, even in the event that the so-called boyfriend could find her a job, it needn't have had to be the boyfriend that needs to "connect" her. any good friend of hers, male or female, could have done just the same.

Finally, @ Mekozoral, i would advise that if you see a good man, you should consider him, without having the mindset of "I want to achieve this, that, that and this" before i can go out with any man. time waits for noone, and it's not everyday you meet Mr. Right. being in a relationship isn't always that much of a distraction, especially for someone of your age. you should be able to delineate when its time for your man and time for other things.

that said, if you date a man, please date him for the content of his character only and not for the job he can get you. i wish you all the best, dear!

i'll have to agree with d'banj when he says he's not a singer, but an entertainer. i think it's become quite obvious that he is lyrically challenged.

yea the ones i had listened to were "Oh" featuring dat nigga raw and "Omeleme", maybe that was his earlier stuff, hey thanks, i like the Uduego, i've got mixed fillings about the anthem though

i see ,  this song sounds pretty good actually.

i just listened to some other stuff by slow dogg, they seemed more amateurish

amblors:

The guy has been dropping tune after tune.
I hope he's saving some for him upcoming album "MARRIED MAN".

the song titled ::" Anyi Siri Ike" literary meaning "We are strong" features Hype MC (Nigga RAW bro), SPata E, & Selebobo

DL::: http://www.4shared.com/audio/OzzOvWN6/Slow_Dogg_-_Anyi_siri_ike_ft_H.html

http://www.jaguda.com/2011/08/04/new-music-slow-dog-anyi-siri-ike-we-are-strong-ft-hype-mc-spata-e-selebobo/

COAL CITY IN THE HOUSE.

is slow dogg the same person as dat nigga raw? they sound so alike

Koolking:


well said Ola-Oluwa
I don't understand why some of us are afraid to do the right thing.

Most children take their parents unseriously if they are scolded verbally ever now and then. To make them realise the seriousness of your constant scolding you need to apply a little intimidating measures like flogging.

When i was a kid the fear of cane was the beginning of wisdom. The fear of flogging deterred us from acting contrary to the instructions of our parents.

If you believe flogging a child is an abuse on the child, then you better think twice. Children of nowadays need more flogging in order for them to step into the footprints of parents. Flogging your child does not make you bad/abuse parents. If the child grows up and become a nuisance to the society, the blame goes to you as irresponsible parents. If s/he is good, you become a reference of good parenting to the society.

Spare the rod and spoil the child, the Bible was not wrong.

i beg to differ. no, the fear of the cane was not any beginning of wisdom for you because the furthest your fear would carry you to is to know that you should avoid that activity, why? because if you don't you will get caned. a simple case of cause and effect. that, right there, is common sense, not wisdom. wisdom is knowing WHY  performing a particular act is wrong. wisdom knows that in the long run, engaging in those activities is actually to noone's benefit. and so, behind closed doors when noone is watching and there is no chance of being caught and getting flogged, wisdom does not engage in that activity, because he [b]KNOWS [/b]that it is wrong.

please my fellow nigerians, don't use that verse that says "spare the rod and spoil the child" in your defense to abuse your children. ever heard of figurative speech? when Solomon refers to "the rod", have you ever considered that maybe he didn't necessarily mean a physical rod, but maybe he meant discipline in general? may God help us all. Amen.

flogging actually does not achieve a great deal. it creates fear and apprehension, and children avoid things because of the consequences that their actions would evoke. now, what good is that when the child does not really know why they are avoiding it? when they are out of your reach to flog, either because they are now living away from home or because they are too old, they would go back and do those same things, because they probably still don't know why it is wrong.

the art of communication needs to be harnessed in bringing-up children. discuss with children the consequences of their actions, and for a particularly stubborn one, there are other means of correction. flogging inflicts physical pain. but there are other ways to get a child to feel bad. how about verbal chastisement, how about withdrawal of privileges, how about other punishments like writing a report on why they think they are writing the report, etc, etc. things like this actually take the child on a journey through the thought process of why they are wrong and why they should probably avoid such behaviour in future.

but why would the organisers even invite d'banj to perform at a function where bishop oyedepo was the chair. well i support what bishop oyedepo did sha, at least he didn't tell him to get off stage, he told him he can perform, but he should beware of what he says. so bishop oyedepo should be there bobbing his head to d'banj singing "Do you like the koko, it's the sweetest koko, it's the biggest koko" or "absolutely endowed, upper body endowed, lower body endowed",

i blame the organisers. if they wanted to keep it hip and youth, then they should have invited d'banj and left bishop oyedepo out. if they wanted to keep it christian, then they should have left d'banj out. simple.

sir_enoch:

i think he is only getting old,  Like rambo

lol,  this his old age just seemed to happen overnight though. i remember how smooth he was in "what's your flava, tell me what's your flava",  and that was just a few "days" ago.

but anyway, not like he has commited any crime sha, it seems he's over stressing out or something sha. but he still looks good. just different.

he looks so different now. the other day, i had to watch one of his older videos to make doubley sure that it was the same person.

**Pretty please**

I saw a recipe on the Nigerian recipes thread,  but it doesn't say the quantities I need to add. Like for every cup of flour, how much yeast should I add, how much sugar and milk should I add, when should I add the cinnamon and nutmeg, and how much, etc?

So can anyone give me a step-by-step recipe? Thank you

hi guys, im new here, would like to say hello to everyone.

i need to figure out how to use this place. it sure is confusing. question number one, if i want to quote someone, how i go take do am?

question two, how would i know where to open a thread? there are so many, and which ones get to appear on the first page?

thank you in advance ,