I hope your dad has a will sha, this one will kill him and make you guys homeless

Go with her to a family planning clinic so you can get a method that works for you both or use a condom, your child is 2, she is afraid of another pregnancy.

If there are other issues talk with her about it

If you decide to sell children's clothes, don't limit yourself to Benin, get a nice camera phone post online, you can make sales from there

Where did this happen? Specific address and state?

bryanarchie:


My dear you won't understand...

Nothing to understand, it is obvious from your responses, you ignore the practical advise and pick the ones that adds to drama. People have given practical financial advise you haven't acknowledged or responded

bryanarchie:


I do have parents, a lot has happened in about three years and they've intervened severally...

I guess they are just tired and I don't want to disturb them anymore...

Why do you ask please

If they are tired it should tell you something.

I am asking because his family bullied you and you are acting like you fell from the sky. I am sure your family suffer to advise you and you ignore them and return to drama

Don't marry without a financial plan, it is not luck a good wife brings it is financial planning.

A good wife who brings an income and has economic literacy will sit with you track expenses and have a family budget, she will also help you start a savings interest scheme for projects like houses etc.

However, you cannot marry without an income or plan just hoping a wife will bring you luck

Op don't you have parents?

Madam, together or alone you need to plan your life.

You have a right to be upset with how your husband set you up and how your mother in law reacted, family is supposed to settle matters not escalate it, however I warn against verbal violence, shouting and being abusive is a form of violence.

As for your expenses, you need to organise yourself and stop spending without a budget. 200K rent on a 95k salary was too much, 150k or 100k is okay.

Now I advise you start a sterling bank savings investment account, you have to start with 50k but every month you can put 10k and you get 13 percent interest, that helps with some discipline and the interest helps, at the end of the year you cash in and pay rent and fees without sweating.

Now divide bills, If you are buying 6000 light units let him pay for water and fuel for gen, he should do foodstuff 25k monthly so you buy in bulk.

Write down every single thing you spend money on and budget for it, both doing your share.
This plan is if you decide to stay together even if you decide to stay alone it will help.

I don't like the kind of man he seems to be.

He doesn't seem to care much about you, only your financial contributions.

He should be willing to meet you halfway, never threaten except you are willing to see it through

youngwifeinneed:
I buy the property in my name alone because I do not want to have regret in the future. Maybe if my husband die or marry another woman. I do not want my children to suffer.

So he too cannot have regrets abi?

He had money, he didn't buy in his name but yours, you had small money you decided to buy in your name alone not joint ownership.

We women need to stop this selfish stupidity we think is sense, what is wrong in using joint names Mr Abu and Mrs Grace Abu? You are afraid of the future, he is not afraid abi?

Enjoy your property and leave the man to sulk in peace, he realised he has been fooling himself

bryanarchie:


Why you choose to judge me, please remember that I also have to pay the house rent where both I and our child will live, I have parents and siblings too, I may also remarry too, I definitely will want to own a property too...

The monthly fee required to take care of my child every month is 40000naira excludes healthcare...

Since we both earn the same salary, I decided to split it evenly and I believe that is fair...

Why do you feel the need to respond to a child who thinks 20k a month to take care of a child is too much? You need not respond to dead beats, ignore mode should be activated

Bigbright7:

Oh I see, I understand that it's based on income, that's why I specifically said "low earners".
Now for this man that earns 95k, i feel that 20k for child support is a little unfair, I think it should be a little above 10k or 15k at most, my opinion though.

Unfair to who? Him or the child

Bigbright7:

Majority of cases have seen for low earners is exactly the way I said it. With the husband's gross salary as she stated above, I strongly believe child support will not exceed 5000#.

In these cases the man may not earn a fixed salary, he may make 20,000 to 25000 monthly, Unfortunately, you did not see cases like Obasanjo or Atikus sons where the wives got 300K ore more monthly plus house.

It is based on income, it is not random N5000, 5000 is just the minimum and a man earning very little or nothing is made to give the basic minimum as support, This man doesn't earn minimum wage

Bigbright7:
Good day madam, sorry for what you may be going through now. But I think you should accept whatever he's offering as along as it's exceed 5000# because if you go to the social welfare as you stated, they'll only buy instruct him to pay child support of 5000# excluding Medicals and school fees .. just an advice though.

This is a lie, I am a social worker, It is based on need and income

Going to social welfare was the right move.

A child needs shelter, clothing, food and education plus other daily needs, all that will be taken into consideration and the income of the non custodial parent too.

I advise you wait for the welfare meeting.

If you are planning to marry her then you both need a crash course in First year marriage basics, savings and family expenses is one of those issues we teach, it is not like normal marriage counseling this is very practical.

The training is very affordable. This is important so new couples can avoid first year marriage drama.

Gilaso:
Dear Nairalanders,happy new year to you all once again.I solicit for your kind advice on this issue please.I work with a private firm,and by reason of my level I am qualified to run a school program,having purchased the form and secured an admission at postgraduate level,my female boss told me that she wanted to also enroll but that since I have gone ahead to enrol she will step down for me to continue,that when am thru she will do hers since both of us cannot do it at the same time due to our positions. [b]However she said I should apply formally to the head office which I did,but up till now no approval from the head office,[/b]when I called the head office they ask me to get a medical permit to certify my fitness to travel from my base to the school in most weekend since its a part time studies. [b]I collected the medical fitness from my doctor and gave to my female boss to submit at the head office since she was going there.[/b]On her return she kept mute until I asked her for the approval but she told me that the head office told her to tell me to either accept a one year of study leave or accept only Fridays and Saturdays for my program this I felt should have been communicated to me in writing as mine has always been official. However other colleagues of my level in other branches have been given full approval.Please I smell an undermine here but I need sincere and mature advice on what to do please.Thanks

I want to understand what exactly your female boss did wrong apart from being considerate and helpful, she guided you on what to do, she helped you take your fitness certificate which you should have taken yourself yet you drag her to nairaland to make her seem evil, what entitled rubbish is this? When people start being harsh to subordinates it is because people like you take it for granted

Liliyann:
At this his young age,he already knows how to do this, I wonder what he will do when he becomes an adult, probably rape girls!!!

For those people reacting, Did the boy complain?
Was he tied to the lady? Is he showing sign of discomfort? Did they even know his true age?

You sound like a boy child molester, imagine a man giving the same excuse if a girl is being whinned by an old man " Did she complain"? She will grow up and prostitute, small girls these days enjoy it" etc. A child is a child boy or girl wrong is wrong

He is 13, boys are closer to other boys at this age, would you rather he starts experimenting sexually with your daughter?


Also find out from your son if anything inappropriate is going on, have a talk with him calmly.

You have two teenagers in your home and you are concerned about the wrong thing

Legal Aid is for people accused of crimes and cannot pay for lawyer not civil cases

Definately a fake account, people use celebs accounts to commit fraud

bilulu:
I want to ask this question..... Is it possible for someone to have HIV without other STD?

Yes, however HIV lowers your immunity and exposed you to other STDs if you have unprotected sex

Myndd Rule 8 was broken. Poster has no link or evidence to this allegation

Don't post false information on Nairaland.

Forget the sentiments, a church wedding is. Merely a blessing as it has no legal value.

Have a court wedding, the planky environment may be unsafe to host guests.

If you are uncomfortable don't wed their.


You can go back with your wife for thanksgiving and blessing

Moderators: dragnet, puskin, honsule for your attention please



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