Can somebody please tell me what the OP meant by "self-servicing"?

tbaba1234:

Is it a sin? would he be punished?

I can't answer this, Allah judges us according to our knowledge and our understanding... And Allah knows best...

The solution is simple, If he wants responsibility, he should act responsibly and marry the woman..... simple...

If he doesn't, then he has no right on the child....

If he wants to contribute financially particularly if the woman is having financial difficulties, then that is fine but he should not expect to have any rights on the child as a result...

This is based on the hadith:

The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "The child is for the owner of the bed and the stone is for the person who commits an illegal sexual intercourse" .(al-Bukhari)

The father can not just take responsibility of the child, if he wants it, He should act like a man and marry the woman...

My questions:

1. The folks here aren't married yet, so i'd take this to be fornication and not adultery. What's the difference between fornication and adultery in Islam? And what is the Fiqh of fornication and adultery?

2. If the man here has no rights to the child if he doesn't marry the woman, what about the woman? given that she was a party to the whole thing. (i'd assume she equally has no rights to the child too).

3. Why is the innocent child in this scenario be made to live with a stigma that he/she knows nothing about? (assuming the "parents" end up not marrying themselves).

deols:


Do u know of those brothers who back normal sisters while speaking with them, not that am saying they are the practicing Muslims o. How do u think they'd find it making a proposal.

And oh, maybe I shldnt generalise. But on a very big picture, I see more Muslims having it hard striking a conversation than I see of 'others'

Interesting discussion, @Deols:I kinda have an idea of where you are coming from. BTW i think you've got a very CORRECT head based on your posts i've seen in the NL community ..

However, the modus operandi of the marriage process in islam is very clear (likewise all other things) but yes most of us these days live in very heterogenous societies coupled with great influence of western culture and social norms via TV, internet etc.. A few contributors have already trashed out in details what the Quran and sunnah says about this process earlier.. Before a Muslim decides to marry, they must ask themselves a few questions like:

1. Why do i want to get married?
2. What is the basis of my attraction to this brother/sister?
3. What are the steps/bounds laid down by sunnah to follow through this process?

Once we can answer the following questions correctly and align them with the concept of Tawheed then (me thinks) we won't have any problems about bf,gf,love,romance etc issues..

unamama: @ajanlekoko. u no go undstnd, i guess u r still a small boi 2 undstnd better or may b u av nt bin in dis country as it stands, dats y u r sounding dis way... u need tym 2 undstnd ok...!

Na wa.! These nippers in here never cease to amaze me..

Nice one, given that we as human beings are always struggling with some aspects of our lives everytime. The period of Ramadan is a good opportunity to be calm and appraise our spirituality. Herein, these podcasts by Yasmin Mogahed come in really useful:

http://olrserenity.podbean.com/

I've downloaded quite a few on my mobile devices and listen to them while commuting and lounging..

Honestly, everything in this Dunya is trivial..

The link below should be of great help:

http://jobfinder.com.ng/blog/2012/03/29/16204/

auwal87:

An average price of a logo is $30 (which is equiv. to N4,500), a freelance graphics designer can design 3 to 5 logos every week, which will generate N13,500 for him/her. I say this is more than enough to take care of family of 4 in Nigeria.

You must be living under a rock..

One thing is a fact these days, most folks born in the 70s and later are going to go through at least 2-3 career changes in their entire professional life..

As for me,I've gone through several career changes spanning over a decade. From being a salesman in my first job after graduation through being a merchandiser, network engineer/web developer, wannabe investment banker (came close to buying up a moribund company listed on the NSE) and presently working in the digital media space with one of the big European media houses. It's been a very interesting and adventurous experience, 70% of which has been as an entrepreneur and God knows what I'd be up to in another five years from now..

JSL,

The things that are wrong here are your inexperience and your tear-jerking attitude towards your employer.

If your employer fires you a few weeks after hiring you, is it it behaving unethically? No. It's a business decision. Now, that's why you should treat your career as a business, and always make choices that makes the most fiscal and career growth sense for you as an individual.

NB: A person's integrity is revealed when we see how they handle the outcome of a situation - not in the decision they make.

AjanleKoko:


The thing is, a foreign degree is no different than a Nigerian degree. What makes the degree is the person. I'm not too sure what you mean by 'doing wonders for the nigerian markets'.

You took that straight out of my mouth.   

AjanleKoko:

I have a few questions for you guys studying abroad:

1. Do you just go abroad to study any degree based on what you can afford?
2. Do you look at the economy of the country you want to go, the kind of jobs in demand in that country, the type of wages they pay, the immigration policies of that country, before you go there?

My reason for this is as follows: Education is an investment. You should consider all the stuff I wrote in (2) if you want to go and study in any country. It's not enough nowadays to just study 'abroad'. You have to consider what happens after. Your certificate alone isn't going to open doors automatically.

Awayan M.Sc degrees are most times over-rated. Post graduate degrees (be it local or awayan) isn't meant for everybody/career.

The value of an M.Sc lies in what you learnt from getting it, how you use it is up to you. whether it pays off by giving you that added advantage over the local folks or pays off in salary is not always clear. I think what is key before anybody jumps on the foreign M.Sc ship is to ask pertinent questions of the industry/company you intend working in, whether they value it and why.

It's very important to ask the ultimate customer of education'' what education they value and how this allign with your business plan i.e. your career.

P.S. Employers that knows their business are interested in what you've got up there and how you can use this to positively impact their bottomline, and not a fancy ''piece of paper'' worth 15K pounds.

Goat say e know say waka dey this world na im make am wear e own shoe come

Man wey vex go shake Iroko tree na im blokos e dey worry and if na woman na her bosom

Lizard for warri no dey turn crocodile for london

Paynt wey slack na im dem dey call boxers

When monkey wear canvass enter town make we know say im get plans

Na determination dey make okada rider overtake trailer

Oga jenju, abeg u go wound persin o,

itachi:

You Price first

Then we will see how we can work out a suitable bargain.

Side this is full options

http://cars4sale-ng.com

And what if it isn't FULL OPTIONS.?

This had been a very revealing and informative thread. @akuya: thanks for the revealation and @inspired: keep up the good work and its time to raise the bar of professionalism and integrity.

Word,

I taya, ! if the guy had priced at say 700-800k the same people go shout say d price too much,

Dynast:

No matter how long a mangroove tree stays in a swamp it cannot turn to a crocodile
Poly and Uni graduates can and will never be the same.
some poly is entered without even any xternal exams like PolyJamb and with 4 credits in some occasions with little or just few qualified lecturers.
can't be the same even in UK a polly graduate cannot go straight 4 MSC unlike a Uni graduate with 2.2

For your information, quite a lot of the universities in the UK today were formerly polytechnics, so if naija decides to adopt same policy whats the biggie.?

Pictures are crap

Viper, when it comes to taking shots of your cars, take a cue from inspired and jenju.

Inspired, could you please post a side view pic of this machine,

Why dont you just spill everything here.?

why must we have to call you before you can tell us how everything works.?

@zero downtime: LMAO, !

You can as well just Google it

Yes o, is that mission over or it was just a one off.? lol.!

how much are you willing to pay.? cos i've got one for sale

so how much is it now.?

Bump

Brand New Acer Travelmate 5623WSMI laptop for sale

Spec:

Intel Core2 Duo Processor T5500, 1.66GHz.
17" WXGA + LCD
120GB HDD
DVD Super Multi DL
1GB DDR
802.11a/b/g WLAN
Bluetooth
1.3 Megapixel webcam

Asking Price 130k naira.

4 Pcs. Nokia N95 8GB with spiderman 3 movie for sale @65k naira (negotiable if buying more than one)

cmon:

I've been expecting replies for this tread for over 24hrs. Does it mean people in Nigeria are not willing to sell laptops on installmental payment basis?

Well I'm still waiting for anyone who's interested. If no one comes up before the end of the weekend (sunday 13th, april), then this offer is closed.

However if you think you can do business with me, reply to this tread before then.

Guy, i do not think anybody would do business with you going by the attitude you have on display. for heaven's sake you are looking for a finance arrangement and at the same time threatening prospective financiers that the  offer would close at a said date.

Look at it this way, who needs who the more? yourself or the financiers? if you are really serious about this you can let me have a letter of guarantee from your employers and a proof that based on your monthly cashflow you 'll be able to meet up your monthly repayments.