Stupid questions girls ask and how boys should answer them-
Girl:are you a player
Boy:yes chelseafc wants to sign me next season
Girl:why do u want my bb pin
Boy:i want to use it and burst ballon
Girl:baby my subscription will expire soon what do i do
Boy:return the phone to the seller and buy nokia torch
Girl:Jesus wait!!is dat a condom
Boy:no is my bank atm
Girl:if i sleep over in your house hope nothing funny will happen
Boy:no we will do night vigil
Girl:babe send me card
Boy:red card or yellow card
Girl:i hope you are not after my body
Boy:no am after your spirit
Girl:i have missed my period
Boy:ask your course rep for the next class
Girl:can you date me without us having sex
Boy:eh!!are you hiv positive
Girl:babe i want to make my hair
Boy:chaii,am not a hair dresser
Girl:ahhhh this sun is too much why dont you have a car
Boy:did your father have a car at my age......
dont stop the fun add yours........ Is all about love.....

― If you didn't kill earthworm with salt.
― If you didn't play rubber band.
― If you never bathed in the rain.
― If nobody told you about India vs Nigeria 99-1.
― If you didn't sleep on the couch and wake
up on the bed
― if u didn't throw your milk tooth on the
roof for the lizards to take it and give you new ones.
― If you didn't just wash your hands and legs instead of
bathing when going to school.
― If you didn't act film in uncompleted building or under bed
with friends.
― If you never flew a kite.
- If you didn't use ur two legs to build houses with sand.
- If u didn't write ur name on paper and insert it into ur pen
so that no one will steal it.
- If u didn't close d fridge door really slowly to see when d
lights went off.
- If u neva waved @ white birds expectin ur nails to b whiter
- If u neva heard of a ghost dat stays under
mango trees @nights
- If u didn't drive a single car Tyre with a stick and called it
ur car!
- If u didnt mix garri n sugar in ur pocket and eat while
walking in the street.
- If u never did mama and papa play i.e. cookin grass nd
sand witout fire.
- If you didn't play table soccer. with bottle
cover.....
.....then I guess ur Childhood wasn't fun!
Oya choose which one u do
Do you knw its not jangilova epo motor? it is JINGLE OVER LIKE A MOTOR!! I bet u didn't knw. Don't be shy, I didn't know either until now I am sure 99.9 % of adults that grew up in Nigeria dnt knw dat d nursery rhyme "sandalili sandalili" is actually "standard living standard living". D song in church saying " o singo singo, praise d Lord", is actually " o sing my soul and praise d Lord. I knw u are singing it now again, smiles ***Confess.! are u guilty? hahahaha! keep sharing d fun and laff it off

Here’s an interesting piece i came across on CharismaNews and thought to share with everyone. Read below and enjoy! The Bible teaches that the church is supposed to influence the world as salt and light (Matt. 5:13-16), but instead the church has often been influenced by the world. Ezekiel 22:26 sends a stern rebuke to believers who make no distinction between that which is common and that which is holy (by common we mean worldly things and values) in this article the word secular refers to worldly rather than holy and set apart for God’s purposes: Truly any congregation that has no distinction from the world is close to extinction! The reason so many evangelical churches have grown so rapidly is not necessarily because of a true spiritual revival but because of cultural accommodation. The following are 10 signs your church has been secularized:
1) They preach only what is popular and avoid what is culturally controversial. Often secularized pastors stay away from preaching on the standards of biblical morality so as to stay in the societal mainstream and avoid offending visitors. The result is a membership that only hears a partial gospel without the power to renew minds which leaves them as secular saints.
2) There is no standard for membership or those serving in ministry. I have heard reports of many churches that allow anybody to become a member and or serve in ministry positions without being vetted; the result is people serving on worship teams or as small group leaders who are engaged in premarital sex, co-habitating or living a morally sub par Christian life.
3) Premarital sex and cohabitation between unmarried couples are normalized in the congregation. When folks in the congregation have the same view as the world when it comes to sexual ethics, then that is a secularized congregation.
4) Most young people have normalized alternate forms of family and marriage. When the youth of a church by and large adopt and or celebrate unbiblical views regarding family and marriage, then that congregation is secularized.
5) Secular music is played in church events. I have heard of churches that incorporate secular music as a normal part of their church services or church related events. Although this is primarily done to attract more visitors by being more relevant, this practice waters down the distinction between the world and the church and makes them spiritually irrelevant!
6) Worldly dancing, drinking and getting drunk are acceptable. There are some churches that have such a secular culture that it is normal for their members to go out clubbing, dancing and getting drunk! They espouse a loose lifestyle to avoid being tagged with the term “religious,” but their practice makes them closer to living as pagans than true believers!
7) The church espouses the values of the surrounding culture more than the teaching of Scripture. These churches are informed and internally calibrated towards the world; hence, they celebrate and honor the world’s values more than God Himself! When the congregation desires to reflect the values of the world more than the Word of God, then they have been secularized. cool The congregation espouses a culture of entertainment more than biblical discipleship.
When the primary objective of a congregation is to attract crowds on Sunday by giving them an “experience” rather than making committed disciples, then they have espoused a culture of entertainment and have been secularized.
9) The congregation espouses a culture of opulent greed and narcissism instead of sacrifice and giving. If the preaching appeals to the narcissistic desire of using faith for personal affluence more than the biblical call to surrender and sacrifice all for the Lord, then that congregation has been secularized.
10) If Jesus is only presented as a personal Savior rather than Lord of all. When folks only want Jesus to save them without transforming them, they have been secularized. When Jesus is continually presented in a church only as a personal Savior without the injunction for all people to surrender to His Lordship, then that congregation is focused on individual salvation more than on the glory of God. Secular humanism is all about centering life upon the needs and desires of autonomous humanity without any concern or submission to the Creator God. Written by Joseph Mattera.

Read More at liveofofo.com/67613/10-signs-your-church-has-been-secularized.

Am one of dia regular customer in dia outlet at Adeola Odeku VI. I can boldly tell u dat dia food is nyc mayb its ua boby system bro.

I saw it coming.

This article was written by the very crazy controversial blogger, Maryjane, please read:

Hahaha; I will keep doing my thing, and having fun while I do it. Everyone can not be silent about the truth and keep bu tt licking;
Someone just have to say the truth…The Bitter Truth, And that person is me, call me a hater…na you sabi, who cares, Laugh at me for not getting a call out, who cares as long as the bitter truth is told, lesson learnt, and fun guaranteed. Enjoy Reading………………………………Have FUN!!!
7. Angela Okorie; She’s married to a very quiet and young boy who can’t confront her on her deeds, she travels to lodge with her clients abroad all in the name of film shooting…
6. Chika Ike- This girl; have no pain,regret, and shame of being a “Christain Divorcee & A Runz Girl” as long as the cash is flowing in bucks.
5.Rukky Sanda- This babe, has gone international on this field, even political on this field.
4.Ebube Nwagbo- She is one of my few twitter follower and I love her, But that doesn’t stop me from saying the truth, If she like she can unfollow me, who cares, afterall I am not following anyone, including her Lol,
By the way; This babe is trending in all grounds on this field, grooving artists, politicians, and even far away land, She loves the twerk thing passionately and she can twerk for Africa Lol.
3.Oge Okoye- Birds of same feather with Rukky & Ebube, They are in the same leauge and group, The cruise and twerk all over the place together, both national and international, most especially political ground, Oge does hers mainly for money and material things, and to console herself over her flirtiful husband’s absence and infidelity, The husband is worse, But please Oge STOP, you are married woman and two wrongs can not make a right.
2.Empress Njamah- hehehe, This one na champion for the trade oh, She runs her runz locally in Naija political market, with big names, big money, and pot belly, The bad business is paying her so much that she is busy going on expensive vacations, opening big businesses, and helping her family, She just bought her brother a rolex watch I learnt. Empress you are getting older by the day, Please STOP and think of marriage, If your family loves you more than the money they get from you; they will give you this advise I am giving you for free.

1.Ini Edo- When I first accused Ini Edo of this, most people thought I was a hater, But it has been confirmed. I love her, but she reallly need to STOP and change her ways, If not: what threw her out of her first marriage will also threw her out of her next marriage. A word is enough for the wise.

Men have pretty simple needs when it comes to relationships, as do women. What they look for in a partner are qualities that every woman naturally possesses or is actively developing. While some people are better fits for each other than others, each person has something special to offer.
Here are the 8 qualities that every girl has and that men are really looking for in their relationships

1. Cares unconditionally

It doesn’t matter if you’re the ultimate feminist or super independent — there’s something inherently rewarding when you truly care for someone else.

Putting someone else’s well-being above your own doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your wants or needs, it means that there is someone in your life who you’re excited about, who you genuinely believe is the most special and deserving of your love.

If you really care for your partner, you’ll feel satisfaction from his happiness as well. Women are naturally compassionate, and when a man sees just how far your kindness goes, he’ll appreciate the extent of your selflessness.

2. Understanding without placing expectations

Most men aren’t great at sharing their inner feelings, but women are really good at picking up on them regardless. Especially when he makes himself most vulnerable, she’s there to support him and accept him no matter what.

Understanding him without placing expectations means that she can appreciate a guys’ night, doesn’t put demands on him to get a more high-paying job and knows that the way he unwinds is by watching hours of sports. She gets him, she’s grateful for this person he is and she finds fulfillment in knowing every inch of him.

3. Letting him be the gentleman, but stepping up when it’s her turn

Girls like it when the guy plays into the gentlemanly role, but they won’t hold back from assuming less-traditional gender responsibilities as well. She wants him to be the man, protect her and possess physical strength — and it’s important for him to fill this need too.

She also knows, though, when it’s her time to pitch in, like carrying her own bags through the airport or planning a romantic evening. We’re able to take a backseat when he wants to show-off his manliness, but we’re also ready and willing to relieve him of his duties at any moment.

4. Having her own opinions on things

Nothing is more attractive than a girl who knows her stance on a topic and is able to eloquently articulate it. If she can teach him something new, life together will be a lot more interesting.

A real man appreciates a woman who has her own mind and is confident in her beliefs. It can be as simple as knowing useless facts about the cytoskeletons of bugs or as complicated as debating stricter gun-control, either way, she has something to say and it won’t be boring. The most beautiful part of a woman is what’s inside her head and how she uses it.

5. Putting on the moves

A woman who knows how to pleasure a man (and vice versa) is key in any healthy relationship. We’re not suggesting that his satisfaction is more important than hers — they are equal — but she can get turned on by turning him on, all on her own.

Remember that line about finding fulfillment from his happiness? That holds true in the bedroom as well. Trust us, if you let him in on what you’re capable of, he’ll always be wanting seconds.

6. Making him feel like The One

At the end of the day, we all want to feel like we’re extra special to the someone whom we regard as extra special. He likes that you can get the attention of other men, but that you don’t need it for personal validation.

You like being the only girl in the world for him, and he is even more grateful for that in return. Loving someone who loves you back is the ultimate compliment. It can’t be bought, it can’t be replicated and it lasts forever.

7. Looking nice [Very Important]

Girls enjoy dressing up for the men in our lives to take notice. Whether this means wearing our intimate undergarments or just taking the extra time to put in our contacts, we’ll take care of ourselves because we like feeling our best selves around him.

Men can’t resist a girl who is put together and looking good, even if that’s an easy t-shirt and loose pants.

8. Intriguing without being unavailable

Men like the fact that women are complex without being impossible to figure out. They enjoy taking the time getting to know you by peeling back all your layers, but they’re frustrated if you’re too overcomplicated.

Women who possess a natural mystery are endearing to curious men. Your shining personality teaches him how to sparkle on his own — and the ability to build another person up is one of your most invaluable gifts.

Saturday saw another absorbing Clasico encounter but what records were set by the players of Real Madrid and Barcelona?

Oct 25, 2014 20:17:44

Find out the facts from Saturday's Clasico which Real Madrid won after beating Barcelona 3-1.

- Real Madrid have won two Clasicos in a row with Iker Casillas as captain for the first time in all competitions.

- The last team to have scored as many goals in the opening nine games of a La Liga season were also Real Madrid in 1959/60 (33).

- Karim Benzema has scored four goals in his last three league games against Barcelona at the Santiago Bernabeu.

- Neymar has scored his last eight goals for Barcelona from just nine shots on target in all competitions.

- Cristiano Ronaldo has scored in his last 11 games, his best run scoring for Real Madrid.

- Karim Benzema is the only player to have hit the woodwork twice against Barcelona in a La Liga game (2003-2014).

- Real Madrid have scored more fast break goals than any other team in La Liga this season (four goals).

- Lionel Messi has been booked seven times vs Real Madrid, three more than versus any other side in all competitions.

- Toni Kroos is the Real Madrid top assister in La Liga this season with five, three of them from set pieces.

- Cristiano Ronaldo has scored in 16 of his last 17 league appearances (25 goals).

All data supplied by Opta.

Grateful pls,who knws abt d above company and wot their pay is like. I was invited for an interview with them on the 28th of dis month. Pls anybody wit useful information about them,shuld help mi out. R they for real n wots their pay is like.
THANKS.

Former vice president Atiku Abubakar is not joking, he has picked the party's presidential nomination form ahead of others, paying a whooping N27.5m. Pic above is the National chairman of APC, Chief John Oyegun handing the presidential nomination form to Atiku at the party’s headquarters in Abuja

Nice one bro.

Its nt scam. I knw d hotel in VI. Gud luck.

She visited him in his lodge last night forthe 1st time.They discussed and shared their past life experiences together. When it was time for her to leave, it started raining heavily till 10:30pm. As she couldn't go back cuz it was already night, she decided to sleep in his room. They slept together and they didn't touch each other. In the early morning, she woke up, took her bath, then dressed up and left. After an hour, he called her to know if she arrived safely and she said yes.Then, he asked her when next she wouldvisit him. To his greatest surprise, she replied, "VISIT U AGAIN? THE ONE I VISITED, WHAT DID U DO?. After saying that, she hanged the call. My friend is confused by that statement since morning.Please did he do any wrong by not touching her??

Much was made of the Scot's dour interactions with the press during his ill-fated season in charge at Old Trafford, but it appears that his replacement will have no such problems




Louis van Gaal was in impressive form as he was finally unveiled as Manchester United manager, 377 days after David Moyes sat in the same chair and gave his thoughts on replacing Sir Alex Ferguson.

Moyes, of course, was gone in April following a terrible season in which the reigning Premier League champions would eventually finish 7th and outside of the European places.

The Scot was increasingly ridiculed during the campaign for his press interactions, which rivalled his team's performances in the uninspiring stakes, and it was quickly claimed by fans and media alike that the Old Trafford job was too big for him.

If Thursday's press conference is anything to go by, it will not be too big for Van Gaal. Below, you can read his thoughts on taking over 'the biggest club in the world', and how Moyes compares from his first day as United boss in front of the press.

On living up to Sir Alex


Moyes never managed to escape Ferguson's shadow during his short spell at Old Trafford, and he made his admiration for his countryman clear from the first day, even if he cast himself as very much the understudy.

MOYES: "It was incredible when I met him. Within half an hour he was talking about the squad and the players and the staff and it was a period for me I couldn’t believe it. At that time I was sworn to secrecy because Sir Alex wanted to keep his retirement private until the right moment.

"I only knew a couple of days before we played Liverpool when I got the call. He said a lot of things to me about the club and how great it was, the people who worked for it and felt I could take it on. He told me things that could be improved on as well so he was very honest.

"I’m inexperienced in a lot of things and there were some brilliant managers who could have quite easily taken this role but the biggest confidence I got was that Sir Alex Ferguson said to me "you’re the next Manchester United manager"."

VAN GAAL: "I have a strong personality and every year I have managed that has confirmed that philosophy. Sir Alex has a strong philosophy and he was confirming that because he won a lot of titles. I hope I can do that.

"Of course, he called me to congratulate me and we have spoken over a cup of coffee. We were always invited to the elite with Uefa. We know each other very well and I will drink coffee and wine with him, we would drink until the lights came on. So yes, we will talk and have some coffee and some wine, maybe the best wine I could ever imagine."

On player recruitment

Asked if he would be adding to the acuqisitions of Luke Shaw and Ander Herrera, Van Gaal was keen to put his stamp on the summer business.

VAN GAAL: "I don’t know the players who I haven't trained and coached. I want to see what they can do, then I might buy other players. Shaw and Herrera were already on the list and I gave my approval. I want them to buy into my philosophy."

His predecessor was not so confident of brining players in before the 2013 pre-season tour of Asia.

MOYES: "I've only been the manager since July 1, so before that there's been the month of June where I've been able to look at things but it does change - it's a different window we'd have been shopping in at Everton compared to where we're shopping now at Manchester United.

"I'll try. I couldn't honestly say yes but I will try if possible. Time is closing in a little bit just now."

On Wayne Rooney


Moyes was keen to make Wayne Rooney the main man at Manchester United, something which would eventually upset Robin van Persie and land the English striker a contract worth more than £300,000 per week.

The Scot's feelings towards his former Everton protege were clear from day one...

MOYES: "He is a Manchester United player and will remain a Manchester United player. I've known Wayne since he was 16. I've had several meetings with Wayne. He's training brilliantly well. He's come back in good shape and I'm really looking forward to working with him. What we're looking to do is see how we can get Wayne Rooney scoring those goals, which will challenge the likes of Bobby Charlton and Denis Law's numbers.

"We are working and trying everything to get Wayne to the level where we think he should be. Not only that, this country will have a World Cup to play in next year, so for everybody’s benefit, we are trying to get him back to the Wayne Rooney we all know."

VAN GAAL: "It's important that we have players experienced not in age but as human beings."

On success

Moyes often made a lot of the step up from Everton to Manchester United, and it was never more clear than when he discussed his hopes for his first season.

MOYES: "At Manchester United, you have to go for everything, you attempt to win everything, maybe you miss out at times but you attempt to win all the trophies.

"I've done it everywhere else I've been and I'll certainly do it here because I've got a bigger squad, quality players and a club with a tradition who have been used to winning trophies.

"This club's about winning trophies. It's something I'm looking forward to doing. I'm hungry to do it, I'm hungry to try to succeed, but I won't change myself, I won't change me, I just want to get that first win on the board."

Like Moyes, Van Gaal was too canny to give any predictions, would did give an insight into his competitive streak.

VAN GAAL: "To me the challenge is always first, not fourth, but it depends on how the players and the manager click.

"Can I fulfil that expectation? I think I can, but because of the greatness of this club it’s much more difficult. This club is guided in the commercial way and we have to fulfil that. That is not always possible. That is my big challenge after two days but maybe that will change after the US tour."

On coaching 'the biggest club in the world'

MOYES: "I didn't get a chance to say yes or no, I was told I was the next Manchester United manager by Sir Alex, so for me that was enough.

"So, as you can imagine, the blood drained from my face. I was really shocked. More shocked that Sir Alex had chosen to retire. But inside I was incredibly thrilled that I was going to be given the chance to manage Manchester United."

VAN GAAL: "I have coached Barcelona who are number one in Spain, I have coach Ajax who are number one in Netherlands and Bayern Munich who are the biggest in Germany. Now I am at the biggest in England."

Dfavouredone:

Brother i feel ur anxiety, just follow this - i try it to confirm it before recommending it.

visit www.wfmcentre.com/uacn2014

Then enter that ur Appl ID and click continue. It will then direct to a page containing ur test date, test time, test coode and the video.

I tried it still nt opening. I even hv to use d application ID givn to mi on d day of reg but nutin is cming up.

Pls hw did u apply?

Pls snd to mi
Basilemezu@yahoo.com
Thank u