Based on the info from poster, has it occured to anyone that the girl may not even spend an hour with him if he is not the one responsible for her transport fare home? The OP has genuine reason to be worried.

So would you issue an ultimatum? Guy doesn't pay for transport, unless gal is willing to let him meet family? If there really isn't any ulterior motive, the guy looks like a jerk. But doesn't the gal have an obligation to build some trust?

Too many new stories. How do you build trust when the story always changes? Isn't there an obligation on the gal's part to do something to build trust, like at least let the guy meet the family?

Well, suddenly we are not coming home for Holy Thursday. Travel plans "delayed". And we can't have a first meeting on Easter Sunday because we haven't had a chance to talk it over with dad.

That's the new story, or the truth?

So, if the guy is willing to come meet the dad and the family, any reasonable reason that offer should be refused?

Until that day you do not have control over where she goes. If I were her I would feel like you are trying to be controlling.

Nekai, I have a question. If you had been going out with a guy for six months (but has been gone the last two) and the guy is trying to be understanding about wanting to spend time with your family, and is willing to come meet the family and attend Easter service, would you have any reason to not let him do it?

HUSBAND comes before Dad. DAD comes before some "guy." Wink Hope that helps.

And the "guy" that's been MIA for 2 months can go visit the girl at her parents' home. That way, there's no childish bellyaching about transport money.

If only, but gal always has an excuse (going on about 6 months now) about how she is "not ready" for guy to meet the dad.

She's been gone for two months, but is willing to only spend a single day before running back home.

Does that sound right to you?

Girl asks guy for N6000 for travel back home (been gone two months)

But then says she can only stay one day because she has to go home to dad for Holy Thursday.

You haven't seen your guy in two months, you ask him for N6000 for transport, but you will only stay one day because allegedly your dad says you must be home for Holy Thursday?

And your pushing 30 years old?

Why does something smell fishy? Is Holy Thursday really THAT big a deal?

Or does the guy have every right to say if he's paying for transport, he fully expects the girl he hasn't seen in two months to stay at least through Saturday, and [i]then[i] go home for Easter service, or else let daddy pay for transport?

To the two who responded thanks; can you please check the revised post for the whole story? (hit the send button too early)

Gal says she needs N5000 for travel back home next (been away for two months)

Guy says fine, can't wait to see you

Gal says but I can only stay one day, I need to be home with dad for Holy Thursday. What? Easter maybe but Holy Thursday?

You haven't seen your guy in two months, and you're only going to stay one day because you allegedly need to be home with your dad for Holy Thursday?

You're pushing 30 years old and you have to go running to your dad because he allegedly wants you home for Holy Thursday?

Is it wrong for the guy to think maybe the gal needs to make up her mind if she's a little girl or a grown woman, and if she can't maybe her dad needs to pay for transport home?

A legitimate Nigerian University says they can't find some of your exams, but if you offer them 20,000N the university will give you your degree?

Can things really be this crazy and corrupt?

Plz I beg; has anyone gone thru this, or know someone who has?

A legitimate Nigerian University says they can't find some of your exams, but if you offer them 20,000N the university will give you your degree?

Can things really be this crazy and corrupt?

Huh? Huh? How can it possibly be made any simpler to understand?

Ok, let's break it down further.

Person A has supported Person B, while Person B went to get "clearance" to graduate.

Person B has come up with all kind of stories about needed more money because of "delays".

Person A wants to CONFIRM that the money really went for clearance by seeing a REAL diploma.

Person A is IGNORANT as to what a Nigerian diploma looks like, so Person A goes to a site where presumably SOMEBODY has a diploma from a Nigerian Univ. thus can provide some background information.

Well?

If someone doesn't understand why this is in the Romance section, then perhaps they themselves need to go over to the education board for further enlightenment.

May I suggest coursework in deductive reasoning and critical thinking?

Now as far as providing feedback to the question at hand, either lead, follow, or get out of the way.

"I have to travel to get clearance, so I can graduate, can I have some money?"

"They are making me go from office to office and now I have to stay an extra week, can you send me some money?"

"Now they say they've lost some of my papers. I have to rewrite them. Can you send me some more money"



Yeah, fine, whatever. But IF you're telling the truth, you will come back with a REAL diploma, right?

What does a REAL, LEGITIMATE diploma from a Nigerian Univ. look like?

What SPECIFIC things will it have on it, (seals, symbols, signatures, type of paper, size of paper, etc.) that will make it easier to spot a FAKE?

Either the person in question is full of it, or the university is full of it for making them take WEEKS to get a piece of paper AFTER all coursework is completed.

So to all the univ. graduates out there, what does the ACTUAL PAPER look like?

Friend has been told the woman he is interested in is a liar.

Why?

The woman said she couldn't come up to see him one weekend because the dad forbade her from staying out overnight. The she added the following sob story: She said she got a phone call around three in the morning to come to a neighbor's house and get her drunk cousin. When she brought the cousin back in the house, dad assumed she had been out all night and slapped her in the face. Mind you this is not a wayward teen, this is a 27 year old woman.

Every Nigerian who has been asked about this, (about a half dozen) says it is absolutely impossible for a Nigerian dad to slap her adult daughter, and therefore friend should stay completely away because the woman is a pathological liar.

Is it really so COMPLETELY impossible that a Nigerian dad would hit her adult daughter, that from this bit of information alone, you know the woman is a liar?

Quote from: Mcleo007 on Today at 02:19:40 PM
Naija gurls are gifted liars. So, i support Busayor on this.

Again with the generalizations  Angry. Does that make your mom, aunty, sisters liars too?

Well if makes it easier, focus on the dad's alleged actions. Is it really impossible culturally speaking (as I have been told by several) for a Nigerian dad to strike/slap his adult daughter?

This is the "red flag" that gets brought up over and over again to say the girl in question is a liar.

So back to the original question please. It is so impossible culturally speaking, that a Nigerian father would slap his adult daughter, that you can automatically label someone who claimed that as a liar?

bhusayor, do you mean to say "You CAN'T tell" or "YOU can't tell"?

I know [i]I [/i]can't tell, LOL! The question is can YOU (or any other readers) tell, based on the signs/events told in the post?

Thanks.

Poster named Odunna suggested asking (in regard to trying to find out if "clearance" story is true)

So how in general do you tell, or if she's just trying to get m-o-n-e-y?

Here's one for starters. Naija girl says she can't come see guy because "my dad won't let me travel overnight". (This excuse lasted for about 2 weeks)

Then she adds a sob story element: She got a call late one night (after midnight) to go a neighbor's house because her cousin had too much to drink.

When she came back, dad heard the ruckus, got up out of bed, and slapped her across the face for being out so late in the evening.

The thing is she's twenty seven years of age. 27.

And, to a person, every Nigerian who has been asked about this say that there is no way, under any circumstances would a Nigerian father ever hit his 27 year old daughter, even if she is still living under his roof. Never, ever, happen they say. Ever. 16 or 17 years old, maybe. 27? Never

Is it so, so completely unheard of that a father do this that, as has been suggested repeatedly, that the Naija girl saying this automatically qualifies as a liar, and someone to be avoided?

And what else should one look out for

Thanks for the responses. They are almost [/i]beyond belief LOL!

You could really be sitting around for a week, "cooling your heels" waiting for someone to get off their duff and sign off on the papers you need to graduate? After you spent 4 years of putting time and money into your education?

And they could really lose your exams/papers and hold [i]you responsible when they (so goes the story) lost them?

And then after all of that, someone would really suggest paying some dash to "resolve" the problem? The problem they (allegedly) created?

Is this normal (or at least in the realm of "normal" in Nigerian universities?

Or, are these "normal" kinds of lies some (I'm sure some are very honest) Naija girls would tell to get some money out of someone?

It sounds so not believable, except who would make up lies this crazy?

How do you tell if a Naija girl is telling the truth?

One more question please. If a university in Nigeria lost some records, is there any way a university would tell a student if they are willing to come up with some dash, they will fix everything?

Could a university really be that bold, or is some rubbish to get some money out of someone?

My friend did not study in Nigeria; thus it is a lack of knowledge about how this "clearance" business works that leads to the doubts.

Thank you Odunnu. My friend wants to believe, but of course knowledge is power as they say. The head and the heart have to match, and right now they aren't, much to my friend's dismay. So the more information the better. It's one thing when friends tell you something, but nothing like an objective opinion. Thanks

??

Told my friend she was traveling to get "clearance" from university, so my friend gave her traveling/expenses money. She claims all her coursework is done, but that she needs "clearance" to go do youth service. I thought clearance was done before you started university, not when you finish. Is there a clearance after you've completed your courses?

Also, if there is, how long does this take? She left over three weeks ago and says the university claims it can't find some of the records? How does a university lose records? And, if she already completed her courses, how long could it possibly take to get documentation to that effect?

I don't know enough about clearance so I ask Nairaland; does this sound like a legitimate story, or does it sound like rubbish?

Please, I'm looking out for a friend, to make sure they aren't being taken advantage of. My friend gave money for someone for travel and expenses to someone who was going for clearance at university, so they could sign up for youth service.

The thing is, it has taken over three weeks. This isn't preadmission clearance, this is the clearance you get when you have taken all of your courses. If this is true, how could getting the paperwork in order take more than three weeks? Shouldn't they already have a record of the coursework? So why does this take so long.

I have my doubts about this clearance story and it taking so long. I think my friend is being played, but I don't know enough about clearance to say for sure.

Please help with the real gist on clearance and please thank you for responding