worth you guyz argues about?

naughty toaster

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?**

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?** **

Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?**

What is the speed of darkness? **

Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up every two hours?**

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for ‘normal’ people at the Special Olympics?**

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? **

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?* *

Did you ever stop and wonder……

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?’**

Who was the first person to say, ‘See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s bum.’

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!* *

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?* *

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?* *

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?**

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? **

Stop singing and read on…….* *

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?* *

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? **

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?* *

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?*

1) A few clowns short of a circus.

2) A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

3) An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

4) A few beers short of a six-pack.

5) Dumber than a box of hair.

6) A few peas short of a casserole.

7) Doesn’t have all her cornflakes in one box.

The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.

9) One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.

10) One taco short of a combination plate.

11) A few feathers short of a whole duck.

12) All foam, no beer.

13) The cheese slid off her cracker.

14) Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

15) Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

16) He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

17) An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

18) As smart as bait.

19) Chimney’s clogged.

20) Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash.

21) Doesn’t know much but leads the league in nostril hair.

22) Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.

23) Forgot to pay her brain bill.

24) Her sewing machine’s out of thread.

25) His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.

26) His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.

27) If she had another brain, it would be lonely.

28) Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

29) No grain in the silo.

30) Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

31) Receiver is off the hook.

32) Several nuts short of a full pouch.

33) Skylight leaks a little.

34) Slinky’s kinked.

35) Surfing in Nebraska.

36) Too much yardage between the goal posts.

37) Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

38) The lights are on, but nobody’s home.

39) 24 cents short of a quarter.

The job market sucks right now and for someone finding a job has proven next to impossible when following all the rules. However, for some they like to push the envelope to stand out when going up for a new position. Maybe they should rethink some of their methods.

10. Instead of shaking hands, you ask them to “pull your finger.” Some people can’t take a joke!

9. You’re not willing to risk being downsized, since you’re unsure if they’re referring to your penis.

8. In your zealousness to pad your resume, you claim 10 years of Java and 15 years of HTML. But what do they know, they still use Windows?

7. After your interview tantrums, so-called “Equal Opportunity Employers” don’t seem to be buying your “Tourette’s Syndrome” excuse.

6. Small-minded employers find “alien abductions” unacceptable explanation for gaps in work history.

5. You can’t afford shoes – Jesus only worse sandals!

4. “Slashed co-workers with a broken coffee mug” doesn’t look as impressive on your resume as you thought it would.

3. Too much time during your interview spent discussing your jihad, not enough on how you would perform as the new personnel counselor.

2. You show up at each interview wearing an aluminum foil suit “just in case of enemy attack.”

1. You list “smoking weed” as a hobby on the job application and offer to start group session to help the company relax at lunch.

Sorry, i have started appologising for wrong use of grammer before commiting any, this is because english is not my lingual.

Ladies and gentlemen, let us take a look into this well articulated blog by an educated Nigerian and after going through it, i will like you the readers to answer that question above ( who is a recist/tribalist ).Because, i am still wondering why it will take a black man to rubish and tanish the image of a fellow black man there by pulling him down especially in a sientific testified and approved issue of this kind that was critisised and published by a nigerian thou living abroad. I also wondered why the writer should desend so low out of his quality presentation which shows that he is educated, to blackmail and assacination of the character of his fellow black man in other to sell his dommy to the masses.


It is after reading this that i start to belive in what my step father a nigerian have been saying to me that the reason ''nigeria as nation is laging behind among her pie nations is due to the act of tribalism in the country''.
I love and respect nigeria and nigerians because of the good character of her citizen who is so dear to my mum and all of us ( his family).

HERE IS THE BLOG writen by nigerian citezen.

How Philip Emeagwali Lied His Way To Fame
by nigeriansfornigeria.org on Tuesday, October 19, 2010 at 9:43pm