@ekt bear, thanks for your advice. I am more than reasonably good looking, i am just not fortunate to be around nigerians in my line of work. As you have noted, my catholic church has very few black people; everytime i attend mass, the black people in church number between 3 and 5...never more than that. I think attending a few RCCG services are in order

@Braveheart: Great advice as well. I don't live a flashy lifestyle at all for the reasons you mentioned and its just not part of my personality to put myself out there like that. I also know that living a flashy lifestyle will only attract the wrong people. At this point, i have even become evasive about telling people what i do.
Instead of being a spend thrift, I invest my money, shop for the things i need, enjoy fine dining in NYC, take my mom on vacations a few times a year and save towards retirement.

@acidtalk... Great advice.

My post on NL was an avenue for me to vent my frustration. I have not met any men from any online channels and I am very wary of finding someone this way. My frustration got the better me yesterday, i sorta regret puting my business out here like this. On the flip side, i have gotten great advice and learned of places in NY that decent naijas hang out that I didn't know about before.There are many people yarning OMG she is in NY, there are so many naijas there. Do y'all have any idea how big NY is? NY has 5 boroughs with naijas living in the different boroughs. I have lived in NY for quite a few yrs and there are some boroughs I have still not been to.

Anyway, without talking too much, I am already exploring the close family member angle and we are planning a trip to a state that has a high concentration of our people. I will continue to pray and soonest God will lead the right man to me or me to him.

^^^ lol

@ logica:Chei this logica is a real small boy sha. I don't know how old you are, but don't you know men will promise almost anything to get what they want. i just wasn't falling for it as car and house no be my problem, its my fault for wasting my time on you.

@safelove: Ah my sister, i had no idea oh. I thought i could discuss a serious issue with my fellow adult nlanders, i didn't know i would get a bunch of pissed off children raining abuses for no apparent reason. Not all hope is lost as there are some mature reasonable people like you on here as well.

@lord reed, acid talk, 2buff and 2mch.

Thank you guys for understanding the point i was trying to put across and being reasonable instead to joining the bandwagon of nairalanders on my thread yarning dust without reading my post.

I am heading out and will be keeping up with my thread, but had to say a big thank you to the 4 of you.

@find out

I know there are many decent akata and oyinbos but it is so much different dating a nigerian man. I can feel free to watch my yoruba movies, without him asking me questions all the time about what they are saying (if there are no subitles) i can feel free to cook my ila asepo with all sorts of assorted meat, stock fish and iru( without the person thinking it is stinky) I can feel free to cook my egusi and efo riro without any weird comments. I can discuss business proposals with a naija man in a way that a oyinbo man or akata man will never understand. we can discuss naija politics e.t.c it is just so much sweeter being with a nigerian in my opinion.

I have had a few oyinbos promising me cars, houses, anything i wanted if i would marry them, but i just can't see myself saying "till death do us part" with a oyinbo/akata man.

@2buff

Thank you oh. I did not think my post would elicit some of the comments i have seen on here. I have been called arrogant, selfish, ugly by the attention seeking Logical( who has no idea what i look like) I could very well date/marry almost any race, but i prefer Nigerian men. I guess limiting myself to a certain type of Nigerian man is the cause of my wahala.
Time to expand my horizon.

@Lord Reed

Thanks for your comments. Long distance relationships are tough, especially with taking time off work to develop a relationship with your partner. Sometimes i wish i had never left naija.
Oh well, i will try your suggestion and see what comes of it.

@acidtalk...God bless you for understanding me.
With some of the comments here, you would think i was asking for something utterly ridiculous.

Thanks to all of you who have given mature responses. Maybe i do need to expand my dating sphere to include other tribes...i just love my yoruba boys

To those of you that made comments about "desperation" i am not desperate, frustration is a more apt description of how i feel.

Back to work for me, y'all have a nice day!

@tpia,

Tpia, i am not claiming to be bill gates or steve jobs. For a single woman at my age with no children, i do pretty well. If i meet a man a man that is at my financial level then that's great, but if not..i at least want him to be able to buy some stuff like food stuff...go half on the bills when we eat out e.t.c. I don't think i am asking for much. I am going based off a past relationship, where this bobo wanted me to take care of all things financial...needless to say i had to kick him to the curb. I find it hard to respect such men.

Regardless of the fact that i have lived in the U.S for quite few years I am still a naija woman, and i would love it if a guy i was in a relationship came to me of his own free will and said "babe here is some money" cook some fabulous ila asepo and some hot amala for me" instead my ex would want me to buy groceries with my money all the time so he can enjoy the food too. imagine that nonsense?? Thats when i decided no more "akushe folks" bobos have to be able to play their part financialy or they can keep it moving.

chei Shymmex... if you are being honest with yourself, you will note that i have not spoken ill of nigerian men. On the contrary, i love nigerian men, my father and brothers are nigerian men and i love and respect them a lot. I am not a kid that spouts off rubbish for no reason...All i am saying on my post, is that i want a man that will do his own part in a relationship. This is not representative of all naija men, i know a lot of naija men that take care of thier wives and girlfriends. I don't even want to be a kept woman, i just want a man to play his own part financially. if this is lambasting naija men, then we have a difference of opinion on the issue of "talking rubbish about naija men".

Its pretty late in london, why are you still up??

You just asked if i was scared because of tha car you drive abi, i don't know enough about cars to be sef. Cars are boy toys.

As long as the car looks good and its driveable, thats all i care about.

that's great to hear.

I didn't come here to boast or toot my own horn. I wll not be disclosing how much i am worth now or in the near future. I mentioned finances as a sticking point as i have met men in the past that want to mooch off me and it ain't happening.

There are quite few fraudsters in London, i hope you make your money the legal way. I mean no offence

@hotshot_peter

Nah, definitely not a gold digger...just want someone who can bring as much to the table as i do. Of couse it is not all about money, but there is no way i am taking care of a grown a.s.s man.

Thanks for your civility, i wish you good luck as well in all your future endeavours.

So what exactly is your problem? it is not by force to reply oh Mr wisdom. Is it the lack of a picture on my profile that is vexing you or the fact that you don't know what i do for a living?? I guess you just need someone to pick on tonite. oh well its a free world.

Nairalanders,

I am a career woman in my late 20's living in the U.S. It has been almost impossible for me to meet good Nigerian men much less Nigerian men at my financial level. As you all know the U.S is very big; i generally don't hang out with Nigerians..not that i don't want to, i just don't know where and how to go about meeting up with my people. When i do go out to naija lounges or clubs in my area, all i find are little kids playing around or 419ers( which i would rather remain single than have anything to do with them). I have tried the church avenue, but i am catholic, and catholic churches in the U.S are much different from naija catholic churches. I live in NYC, so anyone that can give me pointers on where to meet eligible professional Naija men would be great.

I have been very blessed and fortunate in my chosen career, and i would want a partner that can pull his own weight financially in a relationship. Though i have accepted that i would most likely do much better than a potential partner, i can never respect a man that would find it hard to give me money to cook food in the house and take care of some bills, instead of assuming i will take care of it since i make much more. Akatas and white men chase me all day, but i would rather settle down with a Nigerian man(preferably yoruba) i am half yoruba and half something else I grew up in naija, so i speak yoruba and can cook naija food well well.

Let me add that i am well mannered and come from a great family. Guys and girls, if you have single brothers who are financially stable, between 29 and 35 years old looking to settle down, please IM me. Thanks!