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Jokes Etc / Re: Nigerians Get Problem Oo by enorsaint001(m): 11:56pm On Oct 21, 2015 |
debeo: Thank you!!! I never knew there are people like this (debo) on nairaland ooo |
Jokes Etc / Nigerians Get Problem Oo by enorsaint001(m): 11:49pm On Oct 21, 2015 |
1. Nigerians don't ever rest. Even after death, they still work as ancestors, collecting kolanuts, white fowl and aromatic Schnapps. 2. In Hollywood, you feel people's pulse to know whether they're dead or alive. In Nollywood, just pick the hand and drop it. 3. If You Marry A Girl That Can't Cook, Bros Your Case Dey "MR BIGGS" 4. When next you check your boyfriend's texts. Ignore his chats with girls, and check the ones with guys. That's where the truth is 5. No matter how expensive your Wrist watch is, as long as it won't tell you Christ's Second coming, its as Useless as the "p"in Psycho 6. If you have attended over 100 weddings and you are still single. Sister, you are no longer different from a canopy. 7. You don't have to be in UK to be OK, Help comes from Above not Abroad. 8. Ladies are wicked. They will lay on your chest and ask, "Honey have you ever cheated on me?" ...then wait for your heart to beat fast. . 9. A cockroach is afraid of a rat, a rat is afraid of a cat, cat is afraid of a dog, a dog is afraid of a man, a man is afraid of his girlfriend, a girlfriend is afraid of a cockroach. That's life 10. LAST SEEN: Whatsapp- 1Min ago .BBM - 5Mins ago, Twitter- 2Mins ago . BIBLE - 2002. My dear, the Devil has soaked your cane in kerosene 11. BBM and Whatsapp have been rated as the 2nd and 3rd app for chats and gossip, but Women Still retain the 1st position 12. Wedding ring is the smallest handcuff ever made. So think deep, choose ur prison mate carefully & sentence urself wisely to avoid Prison break 13. To those who commit suicide; why are you So selfish? Why kill yourself when so many people are looking for who to use for money rituals? 14. As a matter of fact, there's no female angel in the Bible. So if any guy calls you an angel, na wash ooooo. 15. And if after reading this u refuse to comment , devil dey dance shakiti bobo for your head....!!! |
Career / Click Here And And Grab Something! by enorsaint001(m): 11:57pm On Oct 15, 2015 |
Diligent And Be Humble.
Aliko Dangote was born into a
wealthy home in Kano. He got
his first degree in Cairo, Egypt.
He had always loved trading ,
and reports say he hawked
sweets even as a
primary school child , even
though his family was wealthy.
Dangote is really a very humble
person even by the confessions
of people who have interacted
with him. But Dangote is not the
only hardworking Nigerian. He is
not the
only humble person around . He
is probably not the most
business savvy in Africa. But he
is certainly the richest Blackman
in the world . His companies
employ over 11 ,
000 people directly – not to
mention , distributors,bc
ontractors and other vendors
who depend on his businesses
to thrive . Dangote is a blessing
to humanity.There is no family
in Nigeria today that does not
have a Dangote product in their
home. If it is not sugar, then it is
salt or the house you are living
in was built with a Dangote
Cement . Everyone has
something to do with his
business , so like Job he earns a
little off everyone and that is the
way to get wealthy. Dangote is
the 23 rd richest person in the
world and is said to be the
second most powerful African
alive . The question is how did
Dangote attain such a height ?
Yes, you can’ t take away his
hard work and business acumen,
but that is only the
startingpoint. The answer will
not be found in the Forbes
Magazine or on Wikipedia. The
answer is in the verse of
scripture quoted above : If you
are willing and obedient you will
eat
the good of the land .Sometime
in the early 90 s Dangotebhad
an encounter that set his foot on
the path of destiny.
Archbishop Benson Idahosa had
some guests who needed to
travel back urgently from Benin
to Lagos to catch up their
flight to the US . Unfortunately
by the time the Archbishop took
his guests to the airport they
were told that the last flight for
the days was overbooked and
not a single seat was
available. As a matter of fact ,
the passengers have boarded
and were about to take off.
Idahosa asked for the plane to
be delayed a few minutes and
walked to the tarmac where he
was allowed to address the
passengers. He pleaded with
them about the desperate
situation of his guests and asked
that two persons should donate
their seats for his guests to get
to Lagos .Everyone in that plane
was a Christian . Not one of
them batted an eyelid. Some
pretended to be asleep, some
pretended to be praying and the
man of God stood waiting . From
the back of the plane , a young
man asked
the person sitting next to him to
get up and together they
vacated their seat for the
American visitors. Idahosa
stopped him in the aisle of the
plane and asked , “Youngman ,
what is your name and what do
you do ?” “ My name is Dangote ,
Aliko Dangote and this is my
assistant . I
am a trader, a businessman .”It
was there and then, that Papa
Idahosa prophesied to him that
“ the World will get up for you”.
He prayed that God should take
his business
beyond Africa and bless him
beyond measure . Today God
has answered that prayer . God
destined that blessing for
someone seated in that plane
that evening. But there was a
condition attached to it – Isa
1 :19 If you will only let me help
you, if you will only obey , then I
will make you rich!
Dangote ’ s wealth today was not
meant for a Christian
businessman who was too
proud, too fixated in his mind to
offer the “flamboyant man of
God”, the “prosperity
preacher” his seat .My question
is, if you were there on that
plane , would you have taken
the blessing?Enjoy your day.
Nothing in life is worth fighting
for. Your best clothes is
someone's rag,your account
balance is someone's donation
at a function, your girl friend/
boy friend or fiance/fiancee' is
someone's Ex. Every single
prostitute you see in a hotel or
on the street at night was at
some point in time a virgin. So
what is the squabble all about?
Life is too small to feel bigger or
better than anybody. We're all
naked to death says Steve Jobs.
Nothing can save us from it. I
hate to see people who Brag
about wealth, beauty,
intelligence, level of education,
fame and material possessions.
There's nothing you've achieved
in life that no one else has never
gotten.
There's only one thing that is
worth bragging which is
"BELIEVE IN GOD ALMIGHTY".
SO BE GOOD TO YOUR FELLOW
MAN AND ALWAYS MAKE
FRIENDS. Always remember that
the people you trampled upon
on your way up a ladder will be
the same set of people you're
likely to pass on your way down,
so cause no problem for others
because if you do, they'll
become your very problem one
day. Finally, even banana stems
will one day become dried
leaves. God bless you all. |
Romance / Re: Nairalanders. My Elder Bro Just Caught Me Having Sex by enorsaint001(m): 4:01pm On Sep 26, 2015 |
prettythicksme:Any problem?? |
Romance / Re: Nairalanders. My Elder Bro Just Caught Me Having Sex by enorsaint001(m): 3:53pm On Sep 26, 2015 |
Cholls: Lol!! Not really... Just confused..that's all |
Romance / Re: Nairalanders. My Elder Bro Just Caught Me Having Sex by enorsaint001(m): 3:52pm On Sep 26, 2015 |
Zzyco:Why would I lie? What for? FP nah money?? |
Romance / Nairalanders. My Elder Bro Just Caught Me Having Sex by enorsaint001(m): 3:40pm On Sep 26, 2015 |
Hmmmm... My friend Tade just came to my house this afternoon and explained to me how his elder bro caught him having sex with his girlfriend. Tade is 19 and he is not yet a student (waiting for admission list) and his brother just graduated out of the university of Benin. And about to serve.. this was how it all happened.. ''My gf came to my house, and we discussed all the normal thing been said before we started banging.. I just finished the first round, and started the second round when my bro came home,our house-help opened the gate for him, I never realized someone came inside cause I was about to cum in my second round. Mehn..nah so I hear knock for my door.. He started shouting 'tade!!! I told him I was coming... Maybe he thought I was taking my bath... So, I told her(my gf) to dress up.. And I came out with my boxers and singlet on me... He was like 'what took you so long to open the door?'... To cut the story short, he burst inside and saw my gf... Omoh! The guy drew my ear outside.. And told me to send my gf away immediately... I followed instruction and told her to leave... Before she could leave my brother started slapping me in front of my gf.. He took off him belt.. And started flogging me.. My gf even tried to beg.. Omoh!! The guy almost flog my gf... I later told my gf to go..'' nairalanders!!! Please.. With this scenario..abeg I wan ask, did tade's elder bro did the right thing?.... |
Car Talk / Re: See What Mechanic Did To A New Car ( Photo) by enorsaint001(m): 7:02pm On Sep 23, 2015 |
Hey guys... I ignored this at first sight!!! Like seriously...am making money online, this is easier than forex trade.... Just follow this link... Don't ignore these!!!! http://TheRevenueJob.com/?ref=7986 don't just browse in vain my bro&sis... God bless you |
Politics / Re: The Notorious Boko Haram Kingpin Who Was Arrested Today By The Army..photos by enorsaint001(m): 7:00pm On Sep 23, 2015 |
Hey guys... I ignored this at first sight!!! Like seriously...am making money online, this is easier than forex trade.... Just follow this link... Don't ignore these!!!! http://TheRevenueJob.com/?ref=7986 don't just browse in vain my bro&sis... God bless you |
Politics / Re: Governor Ambode Receives Danny Glover In His Office (Photos) by enorsaint001(m): 6:59pm On Sep 23, 2015 |
Hey guys... I ignored this at first sight!!! Like seriously...am making money online, this is easier than forex trade.... Just follow this link... Don't ignore these!!!! http://TheRevenueJob.com/?ref=7986 don't just browse in vain my bro&sis... God bless you |
Jokes Etc / Watching Football With Nigerian Woman by enorsaint001(m): 11:36pm On Sep 19, 2015 |
WATCHING FOOTBALL with
some wives can be very
frustrating and stressful!
Wife : Dipo, who's that guy? Is
that Chris Brown?
Husband: Chris Brown bawo? No
na, that's Theo Walcott!!
Wife: Hey! What's that yellow
card for?
Husband: It's a warning to a
player; and red means the
player must stop playing and
leave the pitch.
Wife: Ohhh! It's something
similar to a traffic light: Yellow -
warning, Red - Stop.
Husband: Yeah, yeah sure.. You
are right!!
Wife: What about the green
card?
Husband: Ohhh! there's nothing
like that in football.
Wife: Which teams are these?
Husband: Which kind wahala be
this na?!! God! It's Arsenal and
Chelsea. What again?!
Wife: Ok ok ok! What colour is
Arsenal putting on?
Husband: You no get eyes? No
be red jersey be that?
Wife: Ok..which team is putting
on blue?
Husband: (upset)...Omg! Haba!
Wetin na? Don't you know its
Chelsea?
Wife: Hen hen? Wow! I want
Arsenal to win the world cup.
Husband: Wetin concern Arsenal
with world cup? Where you from
sef?
Wife: Take am easy na! Please
who's that old man?
Husband: Hmmm... that's
Arsenal's coach, Arsene Wenger.
Wife: Oooh Ok..... I understand
now. Sooo that means the other
coach is Chelsea Wenger?
Husband: You are silly. Wo,
arabirin free me jare!! (Changes
Channel to Africa Magic and left
the house for a viewing center
nearby!)....
Wife: (Smiling to herself) If I
don't do that, I won't be able to
watch my favorite Telemundo 2 Likes |
Education / Re: The Worst Punishment You Ever Got In School And Why? by enorsaint001(m): 11:26pm On Sep 19, 2015 |
I was told to lie down in front of the staff room during long break... REASON: because I wooed the principal's niece |
Crime / Re: How An Okada Rider Lost His Motorcycle To A Con Man in front of my house by enorsaint001(m): 9:58pm On Sep 19, 2015 |
You nor even thank God say e nor hold you as the police officer..lol |
Romance / Relationship TIPS For Guys by enorsaint001(m): 11:34am On Sep 17, 2015 |
1. Your girl is your second half.
Yes you are
the man; she knows that you are
the man;
you don't need to remind her
about it. It is
wrong for a guy to be constantly
and always
telling his girl/wife that he is the
head of the
relationship. 2. Don't be too authoritative. 3. Don't be too hard and don't be too soft. If you are too hard, she will have phobia for you and even hate you. If you are too soft, she will take you for granted. 4. Whenever she does something wrong, scold her a little and after a few minutes, draw her closer to you, hug her and kiss her. 5. Whenever you and her have a quarrel, after a few minutes hug her and kiss her telling her sweet words. 6. Don't command her to wash your clothes; plead with her to do so. 7. Learn how to use the word,"please", whenever you want her to do something for you. 8. Don't be too over protective. Allow her to visit her to visit her male and female friends. Infact allow her to call her male friends. You should trust her. Or else don't date the girl you don't trust. For the fact that she is dating you does not mean that she cannot have male friends. 9. Always apologise whenever you offend her. 10. Treat her like an angel. She will convert your house into Heaven. l good morning 1 Like |
Romance / Re: Ladies: My Packs More Obvious Than That Of Iyanya, Psquare And Flavour.. Photo by enorsaint001(m): 6:44am On Sep 17, 2015 |
OP...if that's you in that picture, mehn!!! Its nice jhor..... Bleep haters!!! |
Romance / Ladies! Appreciate Your Guy by enorsaint001(m): 3:58pm On Sep 16, 2015 |
Your MAN may not own a car.
He may not earn a lot of money.
He may not live in a posh estate.
He may not be able to shower
you with gifts all
the time. He may not have a
great
job.
.
"But it’s enough to know you are
the ONLY ONE
He has at his heart.
He has a vision. He is Honest. He
is very hard-
working.
He is humble. He keeps that
smile
on your face.
He talks to you every day. He
actually listens to
you. He always replies your
messages. He
tolerates you when you're
moody.
.
His family knows you. He tells
you
you're
beautiful all the time. He sees
you
every chance
he gets. He appreciates the
smallest things you
do. He is there when you need
him. He respects
you. He is proud you are
his…he treats you like a QUEEN
because you are
his everything and he fears to
lose you.
.
" Why ask for what he cannot
afford? He may not
have it all now, but one day he
will... He may not be living his dream now, but one day he will… He pictures making a family with you and he means it when he says that he loves you. . " Dear Ladies, appreciate that man in your life who strives to be all you need.. He may not be all the things you need right now but with time he will be... He will get a job, get the money, he will buy a land and he will build a house for both of you. He won’t be renting or staying at his parent’s house forever. He will fulfill all his promises and he will be a good dad to your children. . Just kindly be patient if you seriously love him. Everything will be fine between both of you. Don't be pushed around by money and what you want to eat now. 1 Like |
Romance / Re: Why Do Women Cry?? by enorsaint001(m): 9:46am On Sep 16, 2015 |
Seuncoded: Is it a must you rubbish people? #smh... Nawa oo (pikin still dey worry you) |
Romance / Why Do Women Cry?? by enorsaint001(m): 9:27am On Sep 16, 2015 |
"WHY WOMEN CRY " . A little boy asked his mother, " Why are you crying?" " Because I'm a woman, " she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His mum just hugged him and said " And you will never will". . Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mum seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say. . The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. . Finally he put in a call to God. When God got to the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?" God said, "When I made the woman she had to be special. . I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. . I give her inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times come from her children. . I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. . . I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. . I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. . And finally, I gave her tears to shed. . This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed. "You see my son," said God, "The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or he way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides. . RESPECT WOMEN. . . Dont Forget To Hit Like And Share With Your Loved Ones. |
Romance / Re: Please!! Respect This Girl. by enorsaint001(m): 9:39pm On Sep 15, 2015 |
falconey: Keep on searching..... By the time you turn 50... Am sure you will see her... lol |
Romance / Please!! Respect This Girl. by enorsaint001(m): 9:29pm On Sep 15, 2015 |
PLEASE, RESPECT THIS GIRL
.
.
¤ A Girl who tells the world that
she's taken..
.
¤ A Girl who understand when
the bae is broke..
.
¤ A Girl who lies to her mum
just to be with you.
.
¤ A Girl who is not impressed by
money because she knows that
her Love is priceless
.
¤ A Girl who opens her legs for
you (risking to get pregnant)
.
¤ A Girl who appreciates her
man's effort
.
¤ A Girl who never mind her
friends opinion about you
.
¤ A Girl who changes a boy to a
Man
.
¤ A Girl who dont smoke
.
¤ A Girl who dont party hard
.
¤ A Girl who loves much
.
.
This type of girls are like
diamonds, they are rare to see..
Show your self if you are among
them 5 Likes 1 Share |
Nairaland / General / Nairalanders.... Can You Do This??? by enorsaint001(m): 8:26am On Sep 15, 2015 |
800million to Never have sex again in ur life will u accept or turn down the offer?...... |
Romance / Re: Why Do Guys Get Attracted To BOOBS And BUTTS? by enorsaint001(m): 6:23am On Sep 15, 2015 |
I hear you oooo |
Romance / Re: Why Do Guys Get Attracted To BOOBS And BUTTS? by enorsaint001(m): 10:09pm On Sep 14, 2015 |
tpiander:Woman... |
Romance / Re: Why Do Guys Get Attracted To BOOBS And BUTTS? by enorsaint001(m): 9:47pm On Sep 14, 2015 |
dazzlingd: Lol!! Why?? If I may ask |
Romance / Why Do Guys Get Attracted To BOOBS And BUTTS? by enorsaint001(m): 8:53pm On Sep 14, 2015 |
I brought this here because of what happened today at work. I work as a cafe attendant..just this morning, when I got to work. my friend and I were gisting.. Since there was no customer yet..that was when this NICKI entered my office oooo... She said: 'please.. I want to check the merit list for unilag' and I ushered her in and offered her a seat.. Nah him I look my friend ooo.. JESUS!!!! (Him eyesballs don wide pass JACKIE APPIAH own ooo.. 'Kileleyi(what is this?) When the girl left, I went closer to my guy and I asked him why that mumu look on his face, and he said: 'michael.. You nor see that babe Mehn see as she full' And I was like : 'hmmmmmm' that was when this topic came ooo..... PLEASE!!! What's so special about it?? Why don't we get moved when we see their legs,hands and all that.... |
Education / Re: Have You Ever Had A Crush On Your Teacher? Confession by enorsaint001(m): 6:44am On Sep 14, 2015 |
Lol..... Mrs sanusi(CRS) she was gifted with big ass oooo....But, she was the strict type, she doesn't joke with male students. FUNNIEST PART....nah my french teacher dey BANG her...#rumours shaaa 2 Likes |
Education / A Letter By An Angry Old Sckool Mate by enorsaint001(m): 6:25pm On Sep 12, 2015 |
A LETTER BY AN ANGRY OLD SCHOOL CLASSMATE. . 1. To my classmates who refused to tear the middle of their higher Education notebook for me to write a test, I hope you are still using that note. . 2. To those who refused to open their notebook for me to copy, I hope you are all working at Chevron or Microsoft company now. . 3. To class captains who always writes my name as one of the noise makers in the class simply because my name is very easy to spell, I hope you are the chairman of your local government now! . 4. To those seniors who seized my belongings, belt, necklaces, foot wears, etc, and never returned them, hope you have obtained the highest rank in custom force! . 5. To those who always collect the little money my parents gives me and made me go hungry without pity, and those who always break into my locker and steal my belongings, hope you have broke world bank now! . 6. To those who ma-treats me because I was too tender, and those who always refuse to fix me in school football matches because you think I cannot do it, I hope Chelsea or Barcelona has picked You! . 7. To those who made a drawing on the school board, specifically Car, and asked me to push it (imagine pushing a drawn car?), I hope you are a mechanic now . Signed An angry old school classmate. 1 Like |
Education / Re: Ambrose Alli University 2015/2016 Aspirants Thread by enorsaint001(m): 10:14am On Sep 08, 2015 |
joshbam:seriously....I tell you...its damn dry... |
Education / Re: Ambrose Alli University 2015/2016 Aspirants Thread by enorsaint001(m): 10:12am On Sep 08, 2015 |
Aspirie!!! Wishing you all the best of luck...(Streetlight) |
Education / Re: AAU Ekpoma Releases Her 2015/2016 Post Utme Results. by enorsaint001(m): 7:46pm On Aug 27, 2015 |
Please..I need help...I didn't reach cut-off mark for medicine....how can I change to another course that suits my mark...or will I be given another course automatically Please..I need replies ooo.... |
Romance / Re: Queen Okafor, Hairy Nigerian Woman Brags About Her 100 Suitors Per Day by enorsaint001(m): 11:25am On Jun 24, 2015 |
If what she is saying is true,.. Then, she dey use JASS be that.. #buh, I don't belive it |
Pets / Re: Take A Look At This! by enorsaint001(m): 2:58pm On Jun 23, 2015 |
enorsaint001: |
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