Chronicles of love, cheating and depression

Episode 2.
I had my final year project all sorted out without his knowledge, despite the issues i had with my supervisor, the lengthy pages and the defense, my so-called guy had no clue of how i scaled through everything. He stopped calling for months and i took up the responsibility of always calling to check on me.


Love they say is blind, and never advice a lover who is blinded with love, because he or she will never listen to you...

I took up the responsibility of calling, with the mindset of understanding the fact that he was busy. i wasn't 100% perfect, yet as much as i tried to strengthen the communication line, he made it bad to the extent that i felt being pushed away. He wouldn't pick calls or send texts as to explain why he didn't pick up and all.

Eventually, i got tired of calling. at this time, i felt i had tried enough and kept asking myself if actually i did something wrong for him to have stopped talking to me. For close to two months, i never called and he never made moves to call or even show any care. While we stopped talking, he was already back online, and his presence online gave me insight about a lot of things.

I started noticing a strange lady's picture whom he was always flaunting and all i could get from him was[b] " We are just friends"[/b]

There's a lot to learn from this as i would be doing a compilation of the points to take notes of.

If you are a guy, please do well to always open up to your partner, and if you are the lady in your relationship, be calm enough and give him time, before you take any step of confronting him or asking questions.



Back to the story, About the lady he flaunted online, i wasn't even bothered, because for me, Communication is the greatest of all, Communication gives birth to trust, being comfortable and working together as partners.

Meanwhile, the first very month he left, there was a day i called his line and oh well, it was a female voice i heard and the explanation was; " Her phone is faulty, so i had to give her my phone"..

As a calm person, i replied "OK"

Lol, what else am i supposed to reply with, or maybe i was too cold and fragile to ask more questions.

No doubt, I took all excuses and tried understanding that,..........

Read More On[url] https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/09/i-blocked-m-ex-after-cheating-on-me.html
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Chronicles of Love, cheating and depression.

I was dating a guy who was just two years older than i am, he had a cool personality and seems all righteous.
We had no official jobs then, as i was in my finals in school, while he waited for NYSC mobilization.

The relationship was well and upright as the distance between our location was just an hour drive. It was all fine till he went to camp, I mean NYSC camp, we communicated so well and we clearly understood when to talk and when not to talk due to the rules and regulations dictated to them in camp.


Fast forward to when he came out of camp, to when he came back to visit me in school, oh well, that was the last time i ever set my eyes on him.


We had clear conversations about trending stories of how lovers go astray while serving their father land, of which they seize the opportunity to cheat and whatsoever. The conversation was clear enough as he promised never to fail or go astray.


We had things we did together regardless of the new eight hours distance. He was God fearing and cared about anything that involves the God, with this we always had a fasting and praying day every week, celebrated monthly anniversaries, we advice each other and in summary, we worked towards having a great communication system.


A month after he started serving, he stopped calling with complains of being busy, new responsibilities at the fellowship and all. He wasn't on social media during the first four months of our relationship as he had issues with his phone, and lived along because i strongly understood his background and how he has always been, and with that, i wasn't flaunted by my boyfriend.........

Read more on: https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/09/i-blocked-my-ex-after-cheating-on-me.html

Cheating is an heart wrenching issue out of a thousand challenges we face in a romantic relationship. It is of utmost importance to understand that when your partner cheats, it definitely has nothing to do with you.

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And it is also important to understand the effective ways of breaking away from the norm by forgiving your partner and moving on. Yeah, it's no doubt that cheating in a relationship often times leads to breakup or separation for a while.
There are many ways to deal with cheating and i will be discussing some few points below. This article aims at making you understand how:

To effectively work with your partner in building a strong bond
To logically and carefully deal with infidelity
To stay happy and work things out with a cheating partner.

Read carefully as i make some discussions below:

KP NO 1: Open communication

This is what you do here, at the initial stage after the whole news of your partner being a cheat. It is important that you both sit and converse without leaving a strand of hair untouched, i mean without talking about everything that happened. Talk about the cheating incident with your partner, once your partner admits cheating or you discover it, talk about the situation.

During the course of an open conversation, you might want to lash out, but be careful in sorting issues out, as this is the first step in understanding and learning more about the cheating incident, the very first step in rebuilding the relationship and understanding why it happened. This is meant to be done between you and our partner and not with the presence of a third party.

While conversing, try to understand:
Why the cheating occurred
With whom it occurred
How often it happened

KP NO 2: Think of a way forward

Think and discuss of what to do to move forward, of course you both can't keep parading the same issue. It may seem hard but you need to know, decide and plan for what lies ahead.
Whether or not you stay with your partner depends on many factors: your emotions, the legality of your relationship, duration of your relationship, mutual benefits, and all sort. If you are open to reconciliation, understand what that will take, the sacrifices, what to put away to make things work.

KP NO 3: Realize that your partner’s cheating is never your fault

Your partner has broken the rules of your relationship, most especially your trust. Do not feel guilty for the crime you didn't commit and understand that you are not responsible for your partner’s behavior.

Even if you feel you could have been a better boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife, your partner still made the decision to cheat. There are some reasons and situations that influence peoples' behavior to start cheating:

The person is unable to make himself /herself happy and goes in search of external things to validate him/her and make him/her happy.
High levels of conflict.......
Read more from the source: https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/09/your-partner-cheated-on-you-heres-how.html

Relationships are great when there is room for proper understanding and management of words by both parties involved.

There are different phases attached to a relationship, most especially if it's a long-term course, challenges, fights, emotions, anger, happiness and a whole lot of feelings and actions comes along.

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While these attachments are meant to be handled properly, partners need to have a proper understanding as to why they need to pass through the phases.
Your man overly complains, makes you feel weak and being tolerated? Oh well, Your imperfection should be in his perfection, if he complains all the time, which wasn't an attitude from the onset, then why not give do a clear and calm check up on every ongoing events.

For a man to vent his anger, and talk over unpleasant things, that means he has been bottling up issues of which you were not aware of.

Now the question is:

Why is your man complaining?

It can he helpful to understand that most and if not all of your man's act of complaining has little to do with you. you may not believe this as you are always on the receiving end, swallowing his complaints and act like you are fine.

But the truth is that anyone who finds fault with others is first unhappy with themselves and their lives. You are two different individuals who communicate differently, perhaps your partner grew up with experiences that made them to be unspoken and never willing to let go of regrets.

If your man is mature enough to admit the true reasons why he's angry and complains always, your relationship will change for the better, and if not, you still need to understand the dissatisfaction is likely not about what you do or don't do.

Here's a bucket list of what you should do, read between the lines and be sure you understand these really well before you make your decisions.

Be willing to add to your knowledge

One of the great ways to indirectly stop your man from complaining is to add more to your knowledge. You can't just be there, empty without awesome ideas as to how some problems can be solved. Learn everyday and be bold to learn things in a hard way.

If your man needs answers to questions, will he be sure of asking you for answers? or will he have doubts about you not being filled with ideas?

read and learn from all spheres of life. It matters, it enlarges you ability to address life issues.


Be careful of your reactions.

Most responses can trigger more anger, resulting to more fights and causing him to pull away physically and emotionally. Avoid reactions that will prolong tension between you and your man, let calmness reflect in your reaction and make him understand you are listening to him before addressing the issue.

Be objective about each of the complains he gives

This is challenging, but you always have to think objectively, evaluate the situation and check if your actions irritate him or make him feel disrespected.

Be objective about how you handle criticism, and take a step back from your negative emotions. Speak to him out of a place of hurt, as this will keep you both in a painful conversation, though it will help you to resolve issues.
Set Your Boundaries and learn to communicate well

When issues are resolved, no excuse for bad behavior. Your man has the responsibility to treat you will care, while you also need to do the same for him. Setting personal boundaries is synonymous to building a strong fence around your house, it keeps you safe and doesn't give room for unnecessary fights. Work on yourself, i means elf-development and set boundaries that will grow your self-esteem.

Doing this doesn't mean you are.....

Read more: https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/09/he-complains-always-and-you-feel-like.html

Why do people always beg for affection? If they are not staying, then let them go!!

We've read and heard a lot about break ups, couples fights, challenges, touchy stories and all on social media platforms, especially on Instagram.

It wows me most times, a relationship that is going to take the long-term course or the short-term course would have given signs right from when you guys started out.

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Nothing hurts more than being in a relationship with someone and you realize you define the relationship in different ways.

People get hurt when we do not have clear goals, proper standard, or set clear boundaries for what we want in a relationship, and this is where the problem starts from.

Many at times, guys would want a fling but ladies will always get carried away thinking it's love to the extent that they cut off relationship and friendship with other guys in their life. We are humans, and we all make mistakes.

When you have issues and it seems your heart is no longer with the lady, or the guy, don't disassociate yourself from the other other party, at least do not make it a community matter by making it obvious to the world. It's right to end it, it's better to be bold and straighten things out as soon as possible so that nobody will feel used, or have this feeling of wasting time.

if you are in a relationship, make sure it is well defined to avoid expecting too much from your partner, communicate well, i mean on a daily basis. Whenever you have doubts, ask questions and express your views, so that you can move on in time as soon as the tide changes.

It's not hard to know if a man is in love, when a man is in love, he will make sure you are protected and doing fine spiritually, mentally, emotionally, financially and all other aspects. Even men that forms the "hard guy" code are emotional beings, no matter how hard they form, these attributes will still show up, to an extent, while you only need to be observant.

When he's into you, you'll know it, as he will always invest more into your emotions than anything else, but then when it all seems over, get up, get better, wiser and stronger. The pain won't kill you, if possible, cry it out and scream, but Never give up.

Prove to them that you can do without them, don't be discouraged by the pains, i know it will sure be hard to let it go after all the sacrifices, commitment, the precious things you gave up. Don't be discouraged, move on.

And to those who are seeing signs and still decides to stay, I'm afraid you will end up wasting your time, hurting yourself more and regretting it in the end. Don't get carried away, be logical, don't waste time hurting yourself b loving people who never loved you. If they made it clear and loud that they can live and win better without you, let go, cry and move on!

Don't beg for affection!! Those who belong to you will always stay and not leave.

Source: https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/09/rampant-breakup-issues-never-for.html

Guys, get in here!

My previous article was about ladies, in which some points were made about differences between a man and a boy.

Now, it's your turn. How do you know if your partner is a mature woman or she's a girl? Clarifications can be made based on her actions. A girl might need a man in her life to become a woman because of the stability he may bring to her. Others might be able to transition on their own. Sometimes, fate puts a person in such circumstances that they have to rise up above their potential.

Remember the moment you go at length, to achieve something in your life is the moment you change for good. This might be a tragedy, a broken relationship or sheer will power. A mature person doesn’t view the world in pieces, they view it as a whole unit and they realize that they need to harmonize with this unit in order to grow bigger and move forward with life.

Below are the key points, pay full attention as you read through:

KP NO 1. A mature woman argues less and accommodates more

She will never argue over meaningless and little things. However, her arguments will be strong and meaningful. And if situation occurs that gives birth to strong arguments, she will always find a way around it and get to a conclusion that you both will agree upon.

KP NO 2. She's always bold and doesn't beat around the bush

A mature woman is bold and realistic and always makes her point clear, while a girl will always hold things up and accumulate issues for you. It's no doubt that as a man, you need to enjoy peace of mind, you need someone to stay true and make you happy.

A mature woman will never sugar coat words for you as she is not afraid to speak the truth and face the consequences for it. If she thinks that a relationship has flaws or needs working on she will address them instead of pretending that they don’t exist. She won’t be afraid to talk things through and make them work out for you and her.

KP NO 3. She understands you and controls her emotions

She understands that life isn't a bed of roses, and if demands will be made, everything will be moderate, but a girl will always want you to get everything done according her wish and will always fuss on silly things that will never make sense to you.

A mature woman understands that things don’t always go according to your plans and she is up to face the challenges life brings to her. In each difficulty she finds a way to love you better and stronger. She will not fuss on silly things. She will understand you better because she understands herself and her emotions.

KP NO 4. Wisdom-conscious

Women have all the needed knowledge of how life and event functions. Girls are only concerned about the ‘impression’ side of their lives where women are not self-centered. Women take things logically, make good priorities based on time and importance. Also, women always want to acquire more, while girls feel the time is for them to waste time on unnecessary things.Real women know more about how the global affairs are going on and have her individual opinion on such matters. Girls do not have a clue of what it is.

KP NO 5. Doesn’t make you pay at every date

Women are financially independent and they have enough self-respect to do what is right, which is to share the bill! Oh well, It is a girl’s habit to place all her needs on her boyfriend. Girls belong to the school of thought that says their boyfriend must supply all their needs, while they are not taking steps in increasing their finances. Women do not have such problems where they know how to pay proper respect to the man she likes. It is a major difference between a girl and a woman; try to figure it out with your girlfriend and you will realize if she is the “one” or not.

Source: https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/09/signs-that-you-are-with-mature-woman.html

Here's the Question: Are you dating a man or a boy?

In this article, we are going to unveil some qualities and actions that makes him a boy, small boy at that and not a man, when it comes to being in a relationship.
You’re a woman and I'm sure you don’t want to end-up with some guy that is emotionally immature, passive, non-communicative, and doesn’t treat place value on you right?

Bit you should know that love and relationships are more complicated than that. And let's say you really love him, or you just don’t want to hurt him, or you’re attached to the relationship and just don’t know how to end it, or you simply just have been putting up with his actions that is far below what you deserve without you even noticing it.

Oh well, good news, this article is for the ladies and the dudes should pay rapt attention to this, while they wait for their article. Below is a list of behaviors that easily explains if the person you are with, isn't ready for the great relationship course, which isn't meant to be carried over. Hold on, it doesn’t mean he’s not capable of growing up. It just means he’s not there yet. Try giving him a kick in the ass before you kick him to the curb.


1.
He’s not eager to give in for self-development

Self-improvement entails personal growth and development, which is very important in all spheres of life. It also add-ups to the growth of any long-term relationship. So, is your guy seemingly stagnant, just wading around and not looking to improve his life, his career, or trying to eradicate and improve negative habits?

Oh Well, you can’t change people, only they can change themselves, so you definitely want to be with a man who is able to take criticism, objectively look at himself, and is constantly trying to find breakthroughs and ways he can become a better man, not just for you, but primarily for himself because he wants to be the best version of him, for him.

2.
He doesn’t communicate

Does he communicate with you in a regular basis? Men are much more self-aware of their emotions. They’re emotionally mature, whereas boys don’t like communicating their emotions, they don’t even know how to read or understand their own emotions, let alone communicate them. Men places value and understands the benefits of communication.

So, if your relationship feels refreshing because the guy you’re with is surprisingly honest and a solid communicator, versus a guy who never knows how to articulate what he’s feeling, then you’re dating a man
3.
He can't take ownership over his mistakes

A man can take ownership over his mistakes. Yeah, and it requires a lot of character, and lack of pride, to admit to your partner that you’re wrong, and that you’re sorry. A boy will struggle to take his down his pride to admit his mistakes and failures.

He will definitely argue and stand his ground, even when he knows he’s wrong, but scared to the defeat of being wrong.

Nobody can begin to grow or improve themselves if they aren’t able to admit and come to terms with what they need to improve on in the first place. It's best to be with a mature man who is able to admit when he’s wrong. Admitting mistakes gives birth to growth and of-course you will see results in all areas of his life.

4.
He only cares about Pleasures

A man works towards long-term vision, a boy only cares and works towards having pleasures always. Boys are going out to the bar and getting turned up every weekend, and wasting time, and While a man enjoys having a good time, he has a long-term vision for his life that he’s diligently working towards with speed.

He doesn’t want to squander his time, but rather work his time off to create a comfortable life that will allow him to support a family one day and give his woman the type of life she’s always dreamed of.

If your partner is never concerned that he doesn’t have real tangible goals that he’s working towards, then it’s very likely that you’re dating a boy. If you’re with a man, you will be inspired by his work, and goals and excited at the direction he’s going and life he’s beginning to create for himself.

5.
He's in for games

Boys play games, while men are sharp shooters. A man doesn't have time for games, but boys do, and all the do is shady. If he continuously confuses you, contradicts his behavior, seems flakey, and it’s hard to tell where you stand half the time, he’s hot one minute and cold the next, then it’s very likely that this guy is a boy and not worth your time.

A boy will play games to maintain the power in a relationship, while a man is confident and comfortable putting himself out there and letting go of power. A boy thinks that the person who cares the least in a relationship holds onto the most amount of power, but a man doesn’t care about power because he’d rather just be happy and enjoy peace of mind.

Source: https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/09/date-man-and-not-boy.html

Having you been faking it, or you are just into it due to pressure?

Or maybe you never enjoy moments with your partner?

Oh well, eroticism and intimacy [/b]helps to spice up your love life, while it grows and turns out to be great, it gives birth to Desires.

Desires in relationships are meant to be satisfied with the consent of both parties involved. You are not dating yourself and it is expected to yearn and thirst for more of your partner's attention, get more intimate and stay happy.

If you have never been in the mood, or maybe you have been faking it, Here are some tips to help get back the VIBES you need.
The utmost reason why you lost the vibes is due to the set-in of LOW DESIRE. It is normal for low /no desires to set into your relationship, especially when your relationship is a LONG-TERM course.

Just like every other enjoyable thing in life, sex takes time and effort, but the great news is that with some practice, you can absolutely get the vibes back.

Here are six tips to acquire eroticism and increase desire in your sex life.

[b]KP NO 1. Get your mind and body aligned

Having sexual thoughts is important and it helps in rekindling the vibe. Do not think it's not important to think about it, however, attach much importance and value to thoughts of sex. If you think about how much you do not want to engage in a sexual encounter it will lessen your chances for increasing your desire and enhancing your relationship with your sexual self.

KP NO 2. Stay healthy

Stay healthy, take care of yourself always. Eat well. have a bath, get to the gym, and engage yourself in activities that will give you more energy. Moreover, love and work on your body. This will build up confidence and feeling attractive all play into one's sexual and sensual self. Cultivate a good and healthy relationship with your body in order for all other relationships to function at an optimum.


KP NO 3. Enhance the emotional intimacy

This can be done only by working on your relationship. If things are not going smooth outside of the bedroom, it will absolutely impact the health of your sex life. Try out new things together to enhance the spark you need. Learn how to be responsible for validating your own feelings.
When you are on the same page with one another, outside of the bedroom, communicate about what you want inside the bedroom. Also, dedicate time and locate a quiet location, where you can cozy up and share your ideas, desires and something new you would like to experience.

KP NO 4. Focus on pleasure sharing

Yeah, i mean pleasure sharing. Focus on the big O - ORGASM. Don't be ashamed or stressed about orgasm, doing this is conditioning to have a negative response to sex.

Make eye contact while being intimate, as this can enhance your emotional connection. Completely letting go and allowing yourself to lose yourself in the presence of another is a feeling like no other, let go and lose yourself in the moment, in the experience.Enjoy it.

Also, i would advice you to try giving each other an erotic massage, without touching one anothers' genitals. Focus on being sensual and intimate, not sexual.

KP NO 5. Be open and be playful.

When it all seem like your desires are not being satisfied, it's advisable to open up and be willing willing to receive and share pleasure. Desire is not always necessary to start or engage in a sexual encounter; being open and positive to having an experience can create desire and arousal.

Knowing you can stop at any time can help with being more open more often. Again, taking the focus off the end result and putting your mind on being close, intimate, playful and open to the idea of being sexual helps in getting the vibes in.

KP NO 6. Set the scene and Be creative about it

Be aware of the events and activities that triggers your sexual encounters. Pay attention to your mood, your fantasies, and your erogenous zones; this can help you to recondition your sexual response.

Be creative in setting the scene. Create an environment that helps you to relax and feel sexy. You could read about it, i mean read a new erotic or educational book together or make research.

Also, Go on vacation to get away from stress. Have some fun by creating a fantasy list to explore your sexual wants, likes and dislikes. Set boundaries within your partnership. If you would be uncomfortable hearing certain things, make sure your partner knows that ahead of time.

In summary, Eroticism and intimacy contributes to the healthy state of your sex life, yeah..you can't just jump into bed and do it, nah. Understand what works for you too, work on your body, communicate with your partner and always be creative about it. I believe this tips will work for you. Get the vibes back...Enjoy.

source: https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/09/eroticism-and-intimacy-6-tips-to.html

"How i regained my voice after two years" - Executive Director of Whispering Hope Africa Initiative (WHAI) explains.

Read her story below:

Two years without a voice; Limitless without a voice; Her voice couldn’t limit her – she keeps soaring; Empowered beyond Limit; Empowered Beyond Disability; In every challenging situation, try to be better not bitter.

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For over two years, I suffered from chronic tonsillitis and laryngitis which led to the total loss of my voice. Throughout the year 2016, no normal sound came from my voice box. I underwent several costly treatments and a surgery; lured to a herbalist against my faith; took in some concussions – none worked. Friends, professional colleagues detested me; some made mockery and mimicry of my voice, was disqualified from certain programs very important to me; went into depression. With the help of an expensive supplement, I started making some sounds in 2017. It was like a miracle to me and with voice therapy started, it improved to making some musical notes - I could sing a bit today.

In his book, ‘Discovering Your Destiny’, Bob Gass says “When you find yourself experiencing things that are beyond your ability; it`s when you know God is at work, demonstrating his great power”. In joyful thanksgiving to God, I write this piece to share the power of being empowered beyond limit. With loss of voice, I grew in my career and impacted lives. Also to let others learn from my experience.

HOW I LOST MY VOICE

For over 20 years, I have had recurrent tonsillitis which occurred every 3 to 5 months. During those years, I discovered that it is only when I take ampiclox or Penicillin V that I got relieved. In November 2015, I had the regular visitor, tonsillitis and took the usual ampiclox, rather than relieve, it got worsened and my voice kept going down. I consulted a pharmacist and took other medication recommended, none worked. The voice kept getting worse. In 2016. I sought for help at the ENT unit of St. Charles Borromeo Specialist Hospital, Onitsha where I underwent different tests and procedures in addition to medication, Also I was given a list of food items that I should abstain from and placed on voice rest. I obeyed all these therapy, yet none worked.

I proceeded to the Nnamdi Azikiwe University Teaching Hospital (NAUTH), where after all the medical examinations, procedures, voice rest and medications failed. The consultants resorted for a surgery to remove one of my larynxes stating that my vocal chord is badly damaged. I asked the consultant, ‘will the surgery bring back my voice?’ He assured. Not convinced, I left for a program in the US and on return to Nigeria; I went back to NAUTH to continue with the treatment. I finally agreed and booked for a surgery to remove my larynx. So far it is one of the most painful surgeries I have undergone. I was left alone to bear the pains for over a month. One, two, three months after the surgery, I saw no improvement in my voice sound. I went into depression again, considering hundreds of thousands of naira spent and excruciating pain I underwent. Several times I went back to the ENT, the doctors were not telling me anything reasonable or the way forward to get my voice back since the surgery did not work.

LURED TO A HERBALIST

When I announced I have been booked for a surgery, a brother advised me not to go for it. Recalling that a friend of his in Abuja had same problem two years back and was booked for a surgery. His father in the village sent for him and took him to a native doctor who gave him herbal medication that healed him and he never had to do any surgery. I got excited with the ‘testimony’ and asked about how much the herbal drugs would cost, being a lover of organic African herbs. He pretended to get the contact from the guy in Abuja and the following morning, we headed to Alor.

Welcoming me to the gigantic modern edifice though poorly maintained were large statues of Jesus Christ, Blessed Virgin Mary, rosary and other Christian articles. The compound looked dirty/filthy with ducks, fowls, walking and stooling round the compound. We waited for few minutes before he arrived, said a long prayer in a traditional way and broke the kola nut which he gave all to eat except me.

It was my turn to see him; he asked I drop a N1000 consultation fee on an old, torn, dirty bible he was using. He started seeing vision and said so many things about my life. I was smiling and saying within me, ‘hurry up and give me the herbs to cure my voice, so I can leave this place”. He finished and asked me what brought me here. With a sign language and from the movement of my lips, told him I want to have my voice back. I was shocked with the next thing he said, “It’s deliverance that you need”. Deliverance?, he said yes. I asked what about the herb drugs, He said after the deliverance he will give me the herbs. I got convinced again, that I will have the herbs to get my voice back. This is what desperation could cause. I was highly desperate and getting depressed with my voice condition.

He said I should come when I’m ready for the deliverance. ‘Ready?’ I asked. He said yes, that it will cost me N10,000. I shook my head in disagreement and asked the person that brought me there to take me out from the place. We left and I directed him to the Catholic Church in Alor where I called the priest, who unfortunately was in Abuja for a meeting. I sent for the vicar, was told he was in a meeting with the teachers at the school. I was in a hot seat, panting to get quick info and make enquiries about the man and the authenticity of what he does before I commit myself. Time was going, the brother who brought me got angry I was wasting his time, and asked I pay the money.

I reluctantly went back with him, paid the money and he sent me to go up stairs and wait for him. While waiting for him, I was fidgeting and confused. He entered and asked I remove the finger rosary on my finger, I did. He brought out red and white candles molded in human form, tied them together with a rope and lit it. He made continuous incantation till a loud sound came from the image indicating the candle was burnt completely which he said implies my problem has been solved..

He applied an ointment on my palm and asked I rob them on my face; I did. He poured and splashed smellier oil on my face asked I continued rubbing it all over my face and body, was foolishly doing so. To cut it short, when he was done, he noticed I was angry; he said I shouldn’t be, that I should go and look myself in the mirror and see how my face is glowing. “I didn’t come here to make my face glow rather to get my voice back”, I told him. He gave an instruction that I mustn’t take my birth till after 48hours. .....

Visit to read more: https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/09/how-i-regained-my-voice-after-two-years.html

Great sex is something we all want to experience, even the most holiest brother in a fellowship gathering will never opt in for a boring sex life, as it comes with lot of benefits which helps enjoy life at its peak.
It's no doubt, some lovers are presently experience a boring sex life, same method, same style which makes some to yearn from getting it outside.


Cheating is bad, and once your sex life is dead and you feel like going out to get more, remember your partner and sought for was to boost it up instead of cheating. I have some few points down here, ready to light your fire? These moves will make sex hotter, happier, and just plain sexier.

KP No 1. Love yourself being naked.
Women and men who have the best sex lives feel good about their bodies, They see themselves as strong and sexy. Typically, when a woman looks at herself, her eyes go straight to her problem areas, Her faulty curves, and shapeless bum and Zap! She carries that feeling into the bedroom, and when her partner's kissing her thighs, she's busy thinking, 'God, I'm so fat!'

When a guy looks at his body, he sees a lot of differences, notices how sexy he needs to look, notices the size of his manhood, thinks about it and ending up not satisfying his woman in bed.

To boost your body confidence, give yourself a reality check. The next time you're at the store or in the gym, take a look around you at all the attractive women/men who are a variety of shapes and sizes. Remind yourself: There is no one ideal. Then ask your partner what he/she loves about your body, note everything and stay conscious of them. Do not forget to compliment yourself, at least once a week, stand in front of the mirror naked and focus on your favorite features; your toned arms, your firm butt, your biceps, your gorgeous breasts and all.

KP No 2.Swear off sex.
It's extreme, yes, but highly effective. That's because when you tell yourself you can't have something, you want it even more. The same is true in the bedroom, especially if you and your partner have been together for a while and sex has become automatic. Instead of focusing on the end game, learn to enjoy the sensuality of sex. Tease yourself and your partner. Get undressed, dim the lights and take turns exploring each other's bodies.

When you're the one doing the touching, concentrate on communicating love and sensuality to your partner, When you're on the receiving end, let yourself feel the sensations of each and every stroke. This will help you reconnect with each other on a whole new level. Not only that but by the time you're done, you'll be so excited you'll barely be able to stand it. Hold off (if you can!) for a night or two, to let the anticipation build. I hope you wouldn't burst, hold off if you can.

KP No 3. Add few thrills and tell your partner how he/she turns you on.
Yep! Add few thrills Uncle and Hanty, put more energy into your sex life. Be adventurous, adventurous activities helps to stimulate your hormones that gives birth to sexual desires. Do something daring outside the bedroom, Experiencing something new and exhilarating together helps replicate that feeling you had in the beginning of your relationship when you couldn't get enough of each other.

Men are always looking forward to women telling them about what feels good. Oh well, some women are out of touch with their bodies they have no idea what to say. Help him, and yourself, by showing him what turns you on. Put your hand on top of his and guide him in how you want to be touched including how much pressure to use. Speak up because this is the only way your lover's going to know what works for you.

KP No 4. Make it happen by making the first move.
A woman feels happy when her husband engages her emotionally. If you two are spending quality time together, you're happy. But when you're feeling disconnected, your relationship and your sex life suffer.

Here's why: You need to feel close to him to be inspired to make love, and he often needs sex to feel close to you. Make the first move, by doing something simple like thanking him for taking out the trash. When you give him a little gratitude, it's a huge bonding moment for him. In response, he'll start tuning back in to what you need, and you'll be much more likely to want him in return.

KP NO 5. Workout!!
Working out is a great way to boost your sex life. It stimulates not only the body but the nervous system and the brain. When you workout, you're more physiologically excited and more receptive to sex. It also gets you in the mood by reducing stress and boosting your self-esteem. Working out gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

When you do it consistently, it makes you feel good about yourself.

Source: https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/09/have-better-sex-today.html

Dealing with a lover who has temper issues is a whole lot of work, yet, you must commit to making your relationship work. Some people compare living with a angry partner to living by an active volcano. One always lives in a constant state of alertness—always waiting for something to blow up and splatter molten lava everywhere.

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Even a small outburst can immediately throw one off-balance and ruin a perfectly lovely day. The one big difference between a lover and a volcano is that you can more easily move away from one of them.

Here are some basic steps to follow when it comes to dealing with your lover. Always be calm in approaching and addressing issues, avoid getting angry at each other as this may cause an uproar, thereby causing it to get out of hand.

KP NO 1. Know that anger is a habit.

Many times, a lover's anger is simply a habit triggered by the most trivial happenings. It’s not your fault that he/she has a short fuse, no matter how he may try to unintentionally (or intentionally) sweet talk you into believing so. Their words and actions are their own responsibilities, so never take the blame for what they do or say. This is the first thing you should understand.

KP NO 2. Reflect on your actions and apologize.

Reflect on whether you played any role in triggering this anger. Its best to be honest with yourself here. If you did play a role in bringing up the conflict, this will require an approach of taking ownership of your actions and apologize if the situation calls for it. However if you didn't contribute to this anger, then your priority shifts to showing them where they misunderstood you, but not right when they are boiling up.

Know when to and when not to apologize. Nothing melts an angry heart faster like a sincere apology. Make sure it's sincere, though and the apology is not followed by a "but." For example, "I'm so sorry to make you upset, but you earned it by leaving the dishes." If you use "but" then you negate the apology.


KP NO 3. Don't try to control his/her anger.

Don't try to control your lover's anger. First things first with this, don't focus on trying to change him/her, because you can't. Only he/she can. All you can do is control how you react to it and what it does to you on your end. In other words, he/she can spit fire, but you can shield yourself from letting it burn you.

Remember, the home you've been building up can crumble within a second with the words of your mouth and your reactions to sensitive issues. Be careful when it comes to dealing with a angry lover, stay calm always and never stop understanding your lover.

KP NO 4. Be assertive and Respectful

Being assertive is synonymous to being confident and being positive. Be confident in expressing your wants directly and respectfully while considering your partner’s feelings and wants as well. When you act and speak in an assertively respectful manner, you are confident, honest, and open. At the same time, by being assertive, you empower your partner to take their share of responsibility. This is done after rendering apologies.

The home you have been building up for ears can crumble right in your presence if you are not careful with words and your reactions to words. Stay calm always.

Source: https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/09/heres-what-you-can-possibly-do-in.html

Let's have a discussion here! Ladies and Gentlemen like to cuddle, even new born babies, so much that we feel not loved enough if the partner doesn't wrap his/her whole self around us.

Humans love to cuddle so much that touching and hugging enhance our mood and make us feel secured and safe.

Basically, i will be sharing some beautiful tips you need to know about reasons why you need to cuddle always, and don’t feel left out if you’re single. Research shows mutual hugging benefits can happen with friends and dating partners.

Follow up these tips:

1. Cuddling helps your partner know you care about them.

There are a whole lot of things you have been up to to ensure connection with your partner, have you tried cuddling always? Cuddling sends a signal to your partner, which in the real sense connotes; safety, love, trust and support. Moreover, it also makes them feel like a baby. Yes, i will say this again and again.

Cuddling gives birth to sound sleep and great feelings you've missed out since you grew up. When you cuddle, your brain signals that it is safe to let down your guards. cuddling is all you need during times of fatigue, or nights you’re dying to have your eyes on Netflix.

2[b]. Cuddling expands your ability to trust.[/b]
Touch and trust works sides by sides in nature, because a creature close enough to touch you is close enough to hurt you, and you need to know its intentions. Your brain evolved to promote survival: It remembers everything that has ever hurt you.

Trusting everyone would not be good for survival. Instead, experience wires your brain to turn the good feelings on and off.

Cuddling helps to rewrite your history of trust, and to enjoy that nice sense of safety more often.

3. It promotes relationship satisfaction.

The act directly after intercourse is of course, a vulnerable one. You’ve just been intimate with your partner and, depending on the experience, are either tempted to head for the hills or stick and ply around for more. Cuddling your loved one after sex can work wonders for your overall satisfaction.

Cuddling, caressing, and shared intimacy affect sexual and relationship satisfaction at its peak.

4. Cuddling fosters closeness and helps to ease stress.

Yeah, it helps to strengthen the bond you both share, brings you both together and also eases you of the day-log stress. Tested and Trusted. when you feel so tired and worn-out, oh well, you might feel you do not need your partner to touch you, but that is when you need him/her to cuddle you. It also fosters closeness and makes you happy always.

Source: https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/09/heres-why-you-need-to-cuddle-always.html

Nigerian Artiste, Aituaje Iruobe, with stage name: WAJE, celebrates birthday with a beautiful pictures.

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The dazzling songwriter took to her Instagram page, shared amazing pictures of herself, with the caption:

'All I have to say is thank you lord'

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Source; https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/09/wao-check-these-beautiful-birthday.html

Understanding your partner is important and paramount in every relationship.

Understanding your partner is not what you can build up in a day. This requires constant communication and being observant. You don't just walk around in your relationship without paying much attention to your needs and that of your partner.

Misunderstandings often occur when you don't pay attention to every single details and attribute of your partner and oh well, you really can't know everything about your partner. And this is a fact you should understand; We are humans, we grow everyday, We change everyday and our behaviours isn't static.

Men and women don't operate in the same way. We are built to behave differently, as Men are logical creations, while women are wired and driven by emotions. This is also a simple fact everyone needs to understand

These differences do exist in most cases, and have contributed to the ongoing communication gap that destroys our relationships.

With the stated differences, We have complicated issues and we continue living unhappy, pretending to be happy thereby fooling everyone around you, which is not supposed to be. We don't need to always drag issues along in our relationships, what we need to do is to UNDERSTAND our partner.

In understanding your partner, there are some necessary steps to be taken, which will finally rectify the issues that are being carried along in a relationship.

I clearly understand that your partner has pissed you off a thousand times, i understand that you also have made efforts to fix and make things work out well, But still it's bot coming out as expected.

Below are some steps to take note of, in understanding your partner;

KP No 1. Avoid Pointing Fingers At Each Other.

What exactly do i mean? It's simple, when issues come up, avoid accusing each other and looking for who's at fault and who is not. Being focused on your actions and pointing out faults would work against you. Don't be so caught up with yourself thereby making it so hard to understand your partner's points, needs and problems.

KP No 2. Focus On What You Can Control.

Focus only on what you can control, which is you. Oh well, you may have done a lot for your partner and you feel the problem is not you. Oh well, you may have tried a lot in being the ideal man or woman your partner needs, but then always hold yourself responsible for your actions.

Visit and read more on https://www.crystalmag.com.ng/2018/08/the-missing-key-in-your-relationship.html?m=1