Monfeels:


I find it ironic that all this bluster and bombast is coming from a woman who was manipulated, abused, used and cheated on by a narcissist.

Narcissists have a type you know: naive, low self esteem, low confidence, emotionally vulnerable, overly empathic, unassertive women. The fact that you dated a narcissist means you fit this description.

I wish I knew what you looked like so I could picture you crying as you heard the voice of another probably more attractive woman talking to the man you love - a man who many times assured you that you were the only one he loved - telling him how much she loved him, in anticipation of his usual response of "I love you too." How sad you must have felt.

I know the grotesque scars the aftermath of such a relationship leaves you with; the heartbreak, emotional trauma, the pain, the lack of trust you have for future partners, the endless paranoia.

Sucks to be you, Darling.

You sound like a narcissist wanna be.. you sound like you’ve really done your research on narcissist and your just trying to get attention and create a topic.. oh I forgot this was 2020 Covid lockdown, I’m sure you were bored. Fact is you’re not a narcissist, go get a life foo..

Channah1:
You want to have your cake and eat it. It's not possible now.

What stops you from keeping the relationship between you and the old girlfriend strictly business and platonic when you knew you can't marry her? Long throat na dey worry you.

At this juncture, there's nothing you can do. The only thing now is to cut off old girlfriend, bring the new one in and train her on the biz. That way you can both keep her for the biz and the relationship. Greedy man.

Exactly what I thought the Op is selfish.. he said he wants the old girl for business and then new for marriage.. you can’t have it all Mr Man �

goodman3:
It is a known fact that almost every Nigerian's dream is to leave the shores of the country for economic reasons owing to the better job opportunities abroad. Majority of Africans who eventually travel to chase money abroad are men (either for white collar jobs or just hustling/menial jobs). After a few years, these men become more stable over there and decide it's time to get married, this is where the trouble starts.

It is usually a dilemma in choosing a foreign wife abroad OR coming back to Africa to choose a wife. Most men tend to believe the African wife will be more humble but recent happenings dispute this. We have discovered that the laws abroad will always favour a woman above a man, this gets worse if you're a black man. In fact, a peice of furniture or a cat will win a court case over a black man anyday especially when an allegation of abuse is made, know this and know peace!! It's quite sad that when our women go there, they use these laws against their husband who toiled for years to bring them over, they threaten with divorce, false allegations of abuse and molestation and render these men homeless after many years, some get all their assets split, their children are taken away by the woman, some even end up jailed. Some men end up killing their wives in anger and frustration, it is a sad scenario that keeps playing over and over again.

My advice to Nigerian men, don't make the mistake of getting married to an African woman abroad. If you really want a woman to live with you and raise kids, make sure you bring her over as an independent person, she can live with you, have kids but there's no signed documents that you're married over there. You both can even get married in Nigeria here but travel as independent people. Don't ever fall for your emotions or her words to do otherwise because she will change when she reaches there over the years, they all do. If you go as a married couple, all you have worked for in your life can be snatched away from you anytime. BE SMART!!

Maybe if Nigerian men who come abroad, learn to drop the mentality of how they were raised and start to abide by the ways of western culture things would be good, I’m not saying abide by every thing but try to adjust. Not here to argue, just here to states Facts. You can’t go to Rome and behave like Egyptian, else remain in Egypt it’s very simple.
If a Nigerian man can abide by all the law of the western culture just to avoid trouble, why can’t he adjust to that when it comes to Women? The system favors women here same way it favors men back in Nigeria. The system didn’t use to favor women back then until things starts evolving… Even the so called western culture back then use to have PATRIARCHY!!
But most people want to always eat their cake and have it… it’s not possible �…
Even the women back home are getting smarter.
, it’s not that hard, marriage is not easy, but it’s not also very hard, it’s like a mathematical question, that seems a lot but once you start adding and subtracting, you break it down.
1.first have a change of attitude and view of life, if you want to still assimilate the mentality of naija, then remain in naija and marry a Nigerian woman there who has not been exposed.
2. Marry right- don’t marry for wrong reasons, what ever you can’t take don’t go forward with it..when it comes to marriage… involving God is something I 100 percent recommend, some people say she wasn’t like his before I marry her, perhaps if you were in tune with God, he would have revealed it to you.
3. Do the right things, what ever you want in a partner, you have to first be that person… if you want respect, give it, if you want someone who listens to you, learn to listen… by the time you see that this person isn’t matching the energy and you are � the person who you say you are, you will not want to marry the person
4 there are a lot of Nigerian Men who are married here with their wives and kids happily
5. Marry a kind person, someone who you know deeply believes in till death do us path..
6. Find a woman who is still in touch with her feminine energy and a woman who still knows her roots.
7. There is nothing wrong with doing * certain *things equally, If you love that woman, you won’t have a problem with it.
8. The norm now is Nigerian men going to marry, then they leave their wives over there and come back and be goin on and on, Omoh at some point in time it would be getting tiring.
9. Life no too hard.. na just say a lot of people they marry people wey them no really know.
Selah

Kingozymandias:


It is men like you the late Prophet and Godfather of blessed memory his royal Highness Kevin Samuels tried to save with his gospel...

Comrade what is wrong with you ? You already know it's everything wrong to show up there with her firstly, secondly to show up there and identify as her significant other, thirdly to show up there to identify as her SO and wear the same material? Bros what is wrong with you ? Except you know you are going to marry her otherwise, my guy dodge it immediately!!

Or else all family events in your family she will want to accompany you dressed in his and her clothing .

Brother be wise now... Eat your share and move along...

See go and purge your mind of SIMPlicitic ways of thinking and find the late Prophet Kevin Samuels teachings and thank me later .

Wait hold up!! Did you say neice's traditional wedding?
How old is this your GF? Na old layer be that o!! Bros how old are you ?

Is she in her thirties ? Your wording even shows you might likely be younger than she is? Please if she is the one feeding and clothing you, then jejely respect yourself and wear whatever uniform she has ordered for you. For her neice to be getting married she isn't a young girl, likely in her mid thirties , no man in his late thirties or fourties calls a woman he is dating GF, so likely you are younger in your late twenties .. you are likely her toy boy... So better bend down and take it up the anus like a toy you are. You have been eating her money now you don't want to identify with her because you are afraid people will laugh at your for dating your mother's age mate? The path we choose has its rules

Lmao it’s this break down for me �

So what do you want us to do ??

Very nice post and very informative… I am gradually entering into the world of dating and learning a lot and hopefully I don’t get to spend so much time before getting a commitment lol. But I would point out something, this won’t work on guys who aren’t ready to be committed… it can keep them for a while of course. This would work on a guy who is fully and mindly ready to settle down, so ladies before doing all this know the difference so you you not wasting time.