My Girlfriend is Insecure

Insecure people are not just afraid, they are looney in my opinion. I mean fear is a normal part of life but when you begin to create images and scenarios to be afraid of in your head, then you're on my crazy list.

According to The Free Dictionary, "insecurity - the anxiety you experience when you feel vulnerable and insecure anxiety; a vague unpleasant emotion that is experienced in anticipation of some (usually ill-defined) misfortune"
I used to have this friend (I can't call her my friend anymore) and in the beginning, I thought she was just mushy. She wants to call, text you all the time, she doesn't want you talking to other people.

Then when she starts dating, she's all detective, going through his phone; trying to chat up his friends to know who she's competing with. Do you know she broke his code one time and saw a contact he had saved as MY DIAMOND, I'm sure she thought she had hit gold, and she took the contact.

On getting home, she tried the number and it was his mom. You see, at this point I thought "oh, her boyfriend probably has a reputation with women so she doesn't want to take chances."

Next thing, she wanted me to keep tabs on him and all, at the same time she's complaining I'm not giving her enough attention and all.

At this point, I knew mushy didn't quite describe it anymore, she was needy, clingy, jealous, a nag and a whole lot of other things, so I kept my distance.

I couldn't deal anymore, I mean, it's hard keeping up dating a boy, how will I deal with a nagging "girlfriend".

She then told her boyfriend to cut ties with me because she doesn't trust me and how I'm a threat to her, that was the point I realized she was insecure.

I went to Google and checked for the signs of an insecure personality and I saw these; selfish, controlling, jealousy, possessiveness, abusiveness, distrustfulness, overly competitiveness and some others.

I know that nobody is an island, and we need people at times, but whenever you realize you're seeking unnecessary attention or sympathy, the overly need to be controlling or right, then you need to take a long breath.

If possible, get a close friend or family (perhaps someone who understands your insecurity) to help you walk through it.

There are a lot of self help sites on how to work through insecurities; check Six Tips on Dealing With Insecure People and a whole lot others.

Have you ever been insecure? Have you been with an insecure friend or lover? how did you work through it?



Do you have a story you want us to publish about this topic or similar? Please send your article to naija@heynaija.com

http://www.heynaija.com/my-girlfriend-is-insecure/

HELP!!! Stolen..A Blue Colour Toyota Camry 2003 Model with Reg FKJ378BW Belonging to A 70 Years Old Woman Was Stolen This Morning At Allen Avenue, Lagos


HELP!!! A Blue Colour Toyota Camry 2003 with Reg FKJ378BW Belonging to A 70 Years Old Woman Was Stolen This Morning off Allen Avenue, Ikeja, Lagos State



If you come across this car, please call 08035926426 or 07052233900



Please share via Social Media, let us help find this car for the Old Woman


http://www.heynaija.com/help-stolen-blue-colour-toyota-camry-2003-model-reg-fkj378bw-belonging-70-years-old-woman-stolen-morning-allen-avenue-lagos/

Rev. Chidi Okoroafor, informed reporters that a sacked senior member of the church hired thugs to beat Rev. Elisha Anyanwu, Rev. Gideon Adolophous and members of the church mercilessly. The thugs stopped the scheduled prayer programme called “Zero Hour Intervention” from taking place.

Rev. Chidi Okoroafor explained:

“Our general secretary, who has served the church for 24 years, Rev. John Okoni, will retire next tomor­row and preparatory to that retirement and as we close up the year, the leadership of Assemblies of God Church decided to organise an end of year prayer programme in our Enugu secretariat of the church today. We also wrote and obtained police permis­sion to hold the programme.

“But while preparing to go for the programme, we were surprised to hear that some thugs and strange men way­laid some of the church mem­bers who were coming for the prayer programme, tagged: “Zero Hour Intervention.

“As a matter of fact, a pastor who was coming for the programme, Rev. Eli­sha Anyanwu, was stopped near the secretariat and they started beating him with rods and then set his vehicle ablaze. Many others were also stopped from going into the secretariats. This is very strange in Christianity. The same people who did this car­ried placards to government house to tell the governor that we should be prevented from coming to pray at the secre­tariat..

“This is strange to Christi­anity because no sane person will attack people who are going to pray for any reason whatsoever. Somebody is re­belling against the leadership of the church. Every church has a constitution and if you cannot abide by that constitu­tion and rules you can leave that church and do what­ever you wish outside the church.”

“They accosted me in the front of the church’s secre­tariat and brought me down from my Toyota jeep and started beating me, using iron to hit me on my hands and legs after which they set my car ablaze,”


http://www.heynaija.com/church-member-hired-thugs-beat-nigerian-pastors-assemblies-god-church/

Must read from Frankie Edozien, a Nigerian based in America:

It stings, but doesn’t surprise.

No criminal charges were brought yesterday against the New York City police officer who tussled with a black man and the latter ended up dead.

I wasn’t even mildly surprised.

By now, I know better. I moved to New York 25 years ago and spent most of that time as a reporter covering the city. I have investigated stories on corruption and the misuse of funds that have resulted in some serious consequences for people, including getting fired.

The death of Eric Garner—placed in a chokehold by an officer in a fight over loose cigarettes— was caught on video, though. I saw it and knew nothing would happen. Perhaps I am jaded.

Journalists hold up the mirror to our societies. We don’t have to like what is looking back at us.

New Yorkers have reacted with demonstrations. More than 30 people were arrested yesterday. More protests are expected today. Thousands are tweeting and Facebooking their fury.

America is having another racial moment. I’ve covered these before. And yet I’m still left wondering why, in 2014, black men scare the bejesus out of white police officers.

I suspect most Africans of my generation aren’t conscious of race until we have this awkward dance with her after we’ve settled in the first world.

Growing up in Nigeria, I was an Asaba man first. My ethnic identity was a source of pride. While I grew up in Lagos, Nigeria’s commercial capital, I wasn’t Yoruba.

And Lagos might have been home, but Asaba was and is where I come from.

For me, and those of my ilk, our whole identity is wrapped up in our ethnic identity. You are a Yoruba, Ibo, Hausa or Fulani first, then Nigerian.

But once you set foot in America, you are Black.

It’s a shock to the system but then you get with the program, assimilate or remain fiercely African.

Or Nigerian. Not just the catch-all “black.”

I was just beginning my career around the time of the vicious Rodney King beatings at the hands of white police officers, also videotaped, and the riots that followed in 1991. I can still remember the shooting death of an unarmed African son, Amadou Diallo in 1999 in the Bronx. Forty-one shots fired, and none of the shooters, all Caucasian, got any jail time.

Even after Diallo, in 2000, Patrick Dorismond, a dad of two, brushed off an uncover officer who inquired about drugs, was shot killed outside a bar in midtown Manhattan.

That officer got off with no criminal charges.

It was 50 shots that were fired at Sean Bell in 2006 on what was to be his wedding day. At least the shooters lost their jobs.

I didn’t grow up with the indignities that my African-American brothers endure daily—but they came eventually.

I’ve learned to put white fear in its own box when coded language like “angry” is used to describe hard working black professionals.

It really stings, but it no longer surprises.

It’s not just an American issue. Years ago, I walked past a blonde guy in a bar in Amsterdam. Instinctively, he reached back to grab me and held me—making sure his wallet was still in his pocket before letting go. This was in supposedly enlightened Europe.

It stung, but didn’t surprise.

Just last week, a young Liberian woman had to school much older white people in Britain that the entire African continent isn’t infested with Ebola. That she had to ask them to check their white savior complex in 2014 was shocking to me.

I spoke on a panel about newsroom diversity right after Ferguson erupted. I told the large group of New York University students to embrace all the things that made them different, whether it was ethnic diversity or ginger hair.

One student asked me what needed to be done to make changes in our world.

I responded that I thought it the responsibility of the powerful, the majority, white folks in general, to embrace and demand fairness for those who are not like them.

And it doesn’t have to involve money. Or maybe, it does have to in these cases.

New York City has paid millions in taxpayer dollars to settle civil cases of the families of minority men that police have killed. We all deserve better than what are getting. Black lives matter and should be everyone’s concern.

I’d like to be pleasantly surprised soon.

Follow Frankie on Twitter @FrankieEdozien. We welcome your comments at ideas@qz.com.

http://www.heynaija.com/frankie-edozien-left-nigeria-25-years-ago-america-just-sees-black/

podosci:

i dnt see what the man has done wrong......if church members are foolish enough to have sex with their pastor and still wake up early in the morning and go to church on sunday then there is a sewiouz problem in this country......i wont be suprised if after he his allowed to return to church to lead has pastor, people would still attend the church

Hi, yes, he may not be wrong by sleeping with the ladies, however, the intent to spread AIDS is not really nice, is it?

In all, Christians believes that God forgives ..

Pastor Who Deliberately Spread AIDS To Female Members Want His Job Back



Pastor Who Deliberately Spread AIDS, Pastor Juan McFarland

An Alabama Pastor who intentionally slept and infected his female church members with AID appeared in court on Monday and wants to keep his as the Pastor of the church.

According to WFSA, the former pastor of Shiloh Missionary Baptist Church, Juan Demetrius McFarland confessed to his followers on September 14, that he contracted HIV in 2003 and discovered in 2008 he had AIDS.

Via The Grio reports:

An Alabama minister was back in court Monday, fighting to keep his job after confessing he had sex with church members and did not tell them he has AIDS.

Circuit Judge Charles Price says he’ll rule within a week on whether the Rev. Juan McFarland can return to Shiloh Missionary Baptist Church in Montgomery or whether a temporary ban from the church will become permanent.

McFarland’s attorney argued that the church approved bylaws in January 2013 giving him his job for life, and that a vote to fire him in October was improper.

An attorney for the church’s deacons and trustees argued that McFarland pushed through the 2013 bylaws improperly and the October vote was valid.

McFarland had served the church for 23 years before confessing to his congregation.


http://www.heynaija.com/pastor-deliberately-spread-aids-female-members-want-job-back/

Mariah Carey divorce settlement is affecting her performance, she kept fans waiting in the rain last night for almost 24 hours.

NBC executive sent her and her team packing because she could not make the scheduled taped performance for the Rockefeller Center tree lighting ceremony.

According to TMZ, people heard her speaking with her lawyer on the phone about her divorce over property settlement.

Mariah eventually performed her hit classic “All I Want for Christmas is You” LIVE as promised for the tree lighting special.

http://www.heynaija.com/mariah-carey-divorce-settlement-is-affecting-her-performance/

Why I Faked My Death – Bukom Banku, Ghanaian WBO Boxing Champion

Bukom Banku, real name Braimah Kamoko, a Ghanaian boxer champion, the current holder of WBO Africa Champion and WBO Light Heavyweight faked his death to find out how popular he is.


Ghanaians were crying last week because they think he was actually dead, this amused Bukam Banku; he narrated

“I wanted to see whether every Ghanaian likes me so I told my friends to tell Ghanaians that I had a serious accident and I have died,”

“When they told Ghanaians that I was dead, everyone was crying so now I know that everybody likes me very much,” he happily added…“Ghanaians love me very much…this shows that I am a big man in the nation.”


Really?....

http://www.heynaija.com/faked-death-bukom-banku-ghanaian-wbo-boxing-champion/

A radio host producer pushed her to speak about rape, while talking on the Howard Stern Show.


Lady Gaga RapedLady Gaga At 19, back in 20



‘My music’s been wonderful for me. But, you know, I was a shell of my former self at one point. I was not myself.

‘To be fair, I was about 19. I went to Catholic school and then all this crazy stuff happened, and I was going, “Oh, is this just the way adults are?’…I was very naive.”‘



Lady Gaga Raped

She was terrified when she saw the rapist, she added:

‘I saw him one time in a store and I was so paralysed by fear. Because it wasn’t until I was a little bit older that I went, “Wow, that was really messed up.”‘#

Thinking that drinking would help her forget the incident, but she later found the strength to speak about it:

‘And I didn’t even tell myself for the longest time. And then I was like, “You know what? All this drinking and all this nonsense, you have to go to the source, otherwise it just won’t go away. It will not go away.”‘


http://www.heynaija.com/lady-gaga-raped-when-she-was-19-by-a-39-years-old-music-producer/

Lady Gaga At 19

Duncan mighty has slammed Nigerian celebrities who go outside the country to get married.


The singer who just got newly engaged called the wedding cheap with the ability of getting things cheaply.

The artist also said that he would be getting married in his bride’s hometown and it would be done according to tradition.

He stated,

“The secret of international marriage is cheap marriage, when you want to use cheap things. I’ve lived in Switzerland and I’ve seen a lot of Nigerian celebrities coming there for their marriage. It is always between the groom, bride and both parents. But if you really want to show people your culture, you don’t need to go to another man’s country to marry your wife. If you’re proud of your wife, go to where she comes from, stay there and marry her. There is no need of going to Dubai and all that. All my fans must eat my rice, that’s what I promised my fans. International marriage is a cheap marriage, go and find out from anyone who has lived in an international community.”

http://www.heynaija.com/duncan-mighty-slams-celebrity-weddings-outside-the-country/

Bollywood star Gauahar Khan was lapped for being inappropriately dressed as a Muslim.

Bollywood Star Attacked For Inappropriate Dressing

Miss Khan was slapped by a man in the audience while she was presenting a TV singing competition.

The man, Akil Malik,24 became offended when he saw the model in a short dress while hosting the grande final of the show in Mumbai, he then got out of his seat and slapped her.

http://www.heynaija.com/bollywood-star-attacked-for-inappropriate-dressing/

Akil Malik is presently in police custody and justified his actions by saying, “Being a Muslim woman, she should not have worn such a short dress.” He is to be charged with molestation.

Gauahar Khan returned to the set an hour after the incident to continue the show.

Today is World’s AIDS day, a day for people to unite in the fight against HIV. Omokehinde Badamosi (aged 40) aka Kenny Brandmuse, the Chief Imagination Officer and Founder of Orange Academy, is a personal branding coach, revealed how he has been with HIV since 1999, his story is encouraging


Today, Monday December 1st, is World AIDS day, and I’m celebrating my resolve to live with this damn virus all these many years without letting it define who I am. Every journey I take, every picture of me you see, and every new challenge I take on are all huge reminders that I must never stop living my best life. So, I decided to share my journey with you today.

Honestly, I don’t know what exactly you are dealing with but I’m writing you this to hold tight to your dream. Here’s a quick sketch of my journey from the first day I tested positive, some 15 years ago. My upcoming book tells the full story.

After three years of different pains and minor illnesses, I was encouraged by my best friend and Professor Soyinka, an HIV specialist, to go get tested so I could face my fear. I had just resumed work as a Copywriter at McCann. I’d rather not know. I was working on Coca Cola, and I would rather live in the joy of that dream. It was that point when you assured yourself this was only a lie from the pit of hell. I had not been a ‘bad boy,’ I would assure myself.

Read the full story here:

http://www.heynaija.com/worlds-aids-day-kenny-brandmuse-chief-imagination-officer-founder-orange-academy-living-hiv-since-1999/