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Computers / Re: Post Your Computer (PC) Troubles Here. by icamello: 8:51pm On Feb 23, 2019 |
Urgent help needed pls. Water entered my laptop this morning where it was placed. Wiped it off and thought it was all fine although I didn’t make an attempt to put it on. The laptop battery is inbuilt and not detachable. This evening, I tried putting it on and I noticed it was wasn’t responding even though it makes this little vibration like it wants to come up so screen remains black/blank like laptops is actually off. Pls I need your advice ASAP! P.S. It’s an office laptop so I don’t know if I should wait and report on Monday. But then again, I wouldn’t mind any home remedy/quick fix. Thanks! |
Travel / Re: Which Are The Top 5 Most Traffic Congested Roads In Lagos by icamello: 10:52pm On Feb 05, 2019 |
Who else has noticed that it is almost impossible not to see at least one vehicle breakdown on a typical work day morning on 3rd mainland? Funny facts 3 Likes |
Travel / Re: Which Are The Top 5 Most Traffic Congested Roads In Lagos by icamello: 10:47pm On Feb 05, 2019 |
Lol from the comments so far, it seems there’s a tie for the number one spot between Ikeja-along to Iyana’paja and 3rd mainland traffic. But tbh, at least 3rd mainland na always moving traffic. If no major vehicle breakdown, you may still cover 3rd mainland in one hour. But you see that ikeja along to Iyana’paja ehn, let no man boast of his patience until he’s been tested with that traffic, especially on a Saturday evening. 8 Likes |
Travel / Re: Which Are The Top 5 Most Traffic Congested Roads In Lagos by icamello: 10:27pm On Feb 05, 2019 |
OhiOfIhima:One of those things you think of and you honestly conclude he actually does not deserve 4 more years. Fashola arguably constructed and rehabilitated more roads than Ambode yet traffic wasn’t as bad on the affected roads. 4 Likes |
Travel / Re: Which Are The Top 5 Most Traffic Congested Roads In Lagos by icamello: 10:13pm On Feb 05, 2019 |
omotoyossi:Your head is there. Road that is not enough before, you still took out of it for your blue buses. I think he made a poor decision on that project and I don’t see an end to that problem, at least not soon. The situation of that road atm is really worrisome. I don’t even visit my relatives living around there anymore. Infact, the whole of Lagos has been on auto-pilot ever since he lost the return ticket for governorship. 7 Likes |
Travel / Re: Which Are The Top 5 Most Traffic Congested Roads In Lagos by icamello: 10:01pm On Feb 05, 2019 |
3rd mainland especially from Iyana’woro on a Monday morning. There was this time a radio presenter asked what people would do if they got to 3rd mainland on a Monday morning and there was no single traffic, only few cars on the road. Most people that called in said they would just turn back. Lol! Notable mention: The current state of Cement to Iyana’paja road. You can conveniently stay 3/4 hours in this traffic. 23 Likes |
Family / Re: What's The Most Annoying Experience You Had With Your Dad? by icamello: 7:36pm On Feb 05, 2019 |
Chai! A lot o but I will mention a few. I remember the day I finished my 3rd term exams in SS2, baba came in usual once in a blue moon tandom style, asked someone to call for me and he started abusing my mum, grandma and her family, using cuss words too. All my friends and other stidents marching to the field could hear everything. My parents always had issues but at least I didn’t make that open on school. Or when he asked me to go get his alcoholic wine from the fridge one time his friends were around, wine slipped off my hand and gbam, wine break. My father just said that was why school fees I had broken and me seff know cos e no dey joke. But the way his friends laughed out loud embarrassingly ehn. Or the day he almost beat my sister to death for flushing his cigarettes, adding excess salt to the soup his girlfriend made and flushing the expensive jewelry he bought for her too. Make I no lie ehn, e go dey hard to forgive that man o because I no wan talk say I no go fit. 41 Likes 3 Shares |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 10:36pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
Toeyean1507:Thank you my brother. It’s good to hear from one with a similar experience. I don’t insult him. All I do is to always make it known to him that he wasn’t there for me, which he doesn’t like. And how I criticize him for smoking, drinking and adultery too because I can’t take it. Then there was this time my grandpa asked if I knew my step brothers and I said no. He later woke me up in the middle of the night to say next tome I deny them, he will fight me like is arch enemy. That was exactly how he said it. I did not beat him. Bro, what could I have done when he was hitting my mum right before us? Wait for him to kill her? I had to push him away and I did that lightly. Disgrace? Maybe. After the incident, people around gathered and I told them the kind of person he is and how he threatens me often with jazz and I told them that they should tell him to use the same jazz to heal his failing business and to complete his house that has been there for years and that I wanted a paternity test and so many ones shaa. That’s all. If you say I was wrong with that, then I ask for God’s forgiveness. |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 9:30pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
greatcrown:Thank you sir, I do appreciate your comment. Lol ever since we were young, we’ve always told her to go and remarry but she always says she can’t, because of us. She said if she does, we may suffer and she cannot stand that. |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 9:27pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
Evacroft:Well said! I know I don’t have a father and he has told me times without number to go look for my father elsewhere. With all the comments here, I don’t think I want to take up any form of revenge now. I owe everyone that contributed here that. But the way he goes around telling everyone lies about me and my mother really disgusts me. God bless you sister! |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 9:22pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
Mznaett:I will sis. Thanks and God bless. 1 Like |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 9:20pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
Seahawk:Abii na |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 9:20pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
ImaIma1:Thank you sis, I am grateful. |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 12:48pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
Thank you, Nairaland family. I am so moved that I just shed a tear. My God will continue to bless you. To all those who contributed, God will meet you all at the points of your needs. May you never lack any good thing you desire. I feel good being able to share this with people after so many years, without the fear of being judged or stigmatised. Thank God it’s a faceless forum. Best I ever did was to write all my experiences on paper, a lot of them. Blame it on depression. It feels like you all lifted a heavy burden off my chest. God bless you all. I will be suspending all revenge plans I highlighted in my first post. I will flee, focus on my life and mum, get closer to God, push further on her getting a transfer out of that town. That should wrap it up! Nonetheless, I still hope he isn’t given the party ticket again at the coming elections. He never hesitates to brag about how he will deal with us (myself, mum and sister) when he “gets to Abuja”. Lol! |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 12:34pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
Chubhie:I am really amazed at how much I’m learning here. It doesn’t take an Eisten to digest your words of wisdom. I’ll stay far and out of range as you suggested. He’s really destroying himself and some of his “alfas” have told him these but he just wouldn’t change. Very egoistic. God bless you sir! 1 Like |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 12:27pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
Achieverbb:Wow! Your words are quite touching, I must say. May God continue to increase you in his wisdom. Thank you! |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 12:22pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
Orchid45:Thank you so much. An elderly man like a grandpa to us had called me to see him some days after that ugly event. Fortunately, I met my dad there, peddling all forms of lies and rumors as usual. He was shocked to see me. After the long talks, the man ordered me to apologise and I had no choice but to obey. Ever since, we haven’t talked nor have anything together. |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 12:16pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
omogidi234:He has siblings and parents. His elder sister, brother and others had always try to intervene but he is always rude to them. The insult has become unbearable for them that they fear intervening further. I’ll cut all ties with him but I’m sure he wouldn’t still take that well. He’s the kind of person that wants things to go bad for you so you will realize your mistakes and come and beg him and he will go to any length to achieve that. But I will only be lying to say God hasn’t been faithful in disappointing him with our successes. |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 12:06pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
ipobarecriminals:Sir, I have no intent of doing that. It’d be petty of me. I will flee as you have advised. |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 11:57am On Jun 18, 2018 |
moscobabs:Thank you sir. People keep saying I shouldn’t offend through him and I ask how? It seems my only offense here is stopping him from hitting her the second time. With the way he was, he could have picked a plank of wood or stone and hit her with it, then the story would have been otherwise. People will only beg us to forget it as he’s our father after all. God forbid! May my mother never suffer in vain. If God would count that as an offense against me, then I don’t know what to say. I honestly wish I could narrate the scene in a better way so you get a clearer picture. I cannot count how many times I have called him in the middle of the night to beg him and make peace, even on my mum’s behalf. I stand to say sir, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. These are the things that empower him to do more nasty things. I think the alcohol and nicotine is taking it’s toll on him so he could be hard for him to come back to his senses. If I was to act like a bastard or have his own kind of heart, he’d probably be six feet below now but thank God for God. I once told him after the last incident that I wanted a paternity test, it REALLY pained him though. I keep hoping one day, one man will come around with evidence and claim he is my true father. My joy will know no bound sir. Nonetheless, I really do appreciate your advice. God bless! 2 Likes |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 11:46am On Jun 18, 2018 |
Oyindidi:Legit straight from hell. A true reincarnation of satan. 1 Like |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 11:44am On Jun 18, 2018 |
mejai:@bolded, that is exactly what we keep telling now. I hooe she knows better now. Sir, it isn’t “juju”, the man just knows how to control and manipulate her. I’ll push further on relocating her. I need her alive, if she doesn’t. That’s all I have on earth. Thank you |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 11:36am On Jun 18, 2018 |
eyinjuege:Thank you. I have been talking to her about working the transfer. She keeps bringing up different issues and I believe they are just excuses. I suggested talking to the Permanent Secretary of her ministry on facilitating the transfer since it puts her life at risk, she rejected the idea. If she could leave that town, trust me, my mind would totally be at peace. Another issue I think my mum has is trying to meet some vague non-exsistent societal standards. How people will talk about her leaving her hisband’s house for the second time which reason for enduring so many “bullshit” from the man. Perhaps, this is why she is scared of going back to her own house since people around will notice and ask questions. But hey, your happiness first, others should follow. And if there’s one thing I believe in this life, it is that this man cannot harm me. Je should try it only when he is ready to die when it bounces back. Our God is not biased. Thank you for the advice. |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 11:23am On Jun 18, 2018 |
Seahawk:Thank you very much. We will stay away as you have advised. I sincerely do not have issues with him having baby mamas or girlfriends or his lifestyle. That’s his cross. While my mum was with him, he would bring his girlfriends home to sleep with them. He would even insult my mum right before these girls lol. But when it gets to the point of threatening our lives, it only makes sense I seek help and being an evil person I know he is, they aren’t empty threats. Thanks again. 1 Like |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 11:17am On Jun 18, 2018 |
JupiterGeekVII:I honestly have, time and time again. It got to a point she was saying it seems I am not happy with her being at her husband’s house so I had to thread with care. The man really had her “mumu button”. She has come to the realization of that too. Hope she learns from it. If she goes, I forget both of them. I can’t help her if she isn’t willing to allow me. Nonetheless, she has assured me it’s a different ball game this time and there’s no going back whatsoever. Thank you for your comment. |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 11:12am On Jun 18, 2018 |
LordsApostle:Lol I actually felt like doing this at some point. I hadn’t beaten him and he’s telling everyone I did. Maybe I just should have. Thank you so much, God bless you! |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 11:09am On Jun 18, 2018 |
ipobarecriminals:Thank you for your words of wisdom. I will definitely get closer to God now. I say a resounding AMEN to your prayers. God bless you too! 1 Like 1 Share |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 2:54am On Jun 18, 2018 |
Sarkin:Thank you for your taking time to comment on this. I have always advised my mum to stay away before this one happened but she wouldn’t listen. My dad seems to know her weakness that she likes him a lot and he always uses that to his advantage. Even after this incidence, she was still trying to stay back. My sister and I made conscious efforts to make her leave, she was almost unyielding until the man told her to pack out “if she still needs her life”. Thank God for that! If my dad calls her now and fake one applogy and mandates her to come back, she may yield to it and I already told her if that happens, she can as well forget me. Because if she had listened to my advice of not having anything to do with this man, issues wouldn’t have got this complicated. There wouldn’t have been any avenue for him to hit her and me getting in-between that he had to curse me. She has assured me it will never happen though. But if it does, then I will run from her too before she serves as a tool for them to get me. Then, God will know I have tried my best. Thank you again and may you continue to grow in Allah’s wisdom. 2 Likes |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 2:38am On Jun 18, 2018 |
Beverlyrich:Thank you very much as it seems you understand my issue. It’s been VERY depressing. Yes, reporting him to the politicians will really hurt him as they may be considering him for the next elections so he will fight me back spiritually, I am very sure of that. But...it seems to be the only weapon I have. And I feel I should damn the consequences and still go ahead. If he fights back, I may have no choice but to do all within me to retaliate too and trust me, it would be in a VERY VERY bad way. My mind seems to be made up, God pls forgive me! That’s why I am trying to unburden my mind and get the right advice before I act. Either I report to the politicians or not, he will still make attempts at attacking me spiritually. I know this. It just may not be as much or as serious as when I eventually report. And yes, I am a Christian. This same issue led me to Christianity. Ever since I was small, I resolved to do things differently. Everything he has done, I want to do otherwise, even in terms of his religion. Thanks to the way mum brought me up tol, I don’t drink nor smoke nor engage in these immoral acts I saw him do. I am not saying I am perfect or holy too. I can’t pray for him. Did you read the part I said he cursed me because I pushed him from hitting my mum again? I remember when my mum would pray for him at morning devotions when we were younger, it got to a point I’d keep mute and stop saying “AMEN” when it got to his part. Focus? I have always done that, save for recurring distractions like this from his end. PS: Coming from someone who has practised for a good time the two major religions, I am not in support or against any religion. I have muslims all around, even as close relatives. They are responsible with lifestyle worthy of emulation. Those are Muslims, not bad eggs like my dad hiding under the guise of one religion to perpetrate evil. Same with chrisianity. I am jist trying to be very much open on this issue so everyone is well informed and advise accordingly. Hence, I am saying things just as they are. |
Family / Re: Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 2:14am On Jun 18, 2018 |
greatnaija01:Thank you for your response. He is a politician but a failed one. Seems everyone knows how bad he is so they are not even ready to give him a chance. Telling his fellow politicians, opponents and the kingmaker I talked about will make them wary of the pretentious character he puts up outside and further convince them that he is not to be given the party’s ticket. So, in that regard, I do not think he has much power or influence to make me “disappear” as you suggested. Kindly elaborate on “going spiritual” in your comment above. I really wish I could take her away. But I just got a job. I’m just starting my life so I may not have much to do that now. Maybe, later on. However, my mum isn’t living with him now, although they are in the same town becasue mum’s work is currently there. She left him ever since he said she should pack and “leave of she still needs her life”. Mum said it may take a while (say, a year) to get a work transfer to another town. I think it’s government’s policy. I’m really not sure but I am still not comfortable with them being in the same town. We have forgotten him and we want him to forget us but I think he wants to prove a point. He is very egoistic. He’s been telling everyone around town that I beat him up. He knows how to explain stories and tell lies to whip up undue sympathy. I do not want a drama myself. My mantra is “to live and let live”. However, people should know he isn’t who he claims to be before they fall prey of his antics. I doubt there’s anyone really. He’s very egoistic and stubborn. He has issues with his dad (another long story). Most of what he’s doing now, his father did to him too but not to the extent of hitting his mum. He doesn’t listen to his mum. There was a time is mum was attempted to correct him on an issue in my presence and he told her to “keep quiet”. So she may not do much. And she most times support him because of the little change he gives her. She also stays with him. The time he hit my mum, it was right before his “alfa”. Just so you know he doesn’t care. To your last point, I do not think he has the connections to “drown” me nor the allegations I will be putting up against him. He doesn’t even have the money to buy such connections either. Like I said, things aren’t the way they used to be for him. But to fight with “jazz”, he knows how to do that one very well. I hope I addressed all your points. Apologies for another lengthy response. |
Family / Before My Father Kills My Mother. Help Pls!!! by icamello: 1:32am On Jun 18, 2018 |
NB: This post could be a bit lengthy but I beg you to read to the end as your advice after could save a life. And it’s a personal story, my own very true life story. Dear Nairalanders, happy holidays. I have been a proud follower of this platform for years now and I have benefited immensely from it. But I have a very challenging family issue I am about to discuss so I had to create a new moniker to raise the issue as I want to remain anonymous. Without wasting much time, I am in my early 20’s. A graduate of one of the top public universities in Nigeria (with good grades), done with service, just got a job and with other great plans aimed at actualizing my quite massive dreams. Though uneasy, the journey has been fruitful and I thank God I am not really doing badly. My mother was responsible for much of my upbringing (and that of my sister) being a single mum as she’s been separated from the man she claims to be my dad. So I never grew up with both of them living under the same roof. Think of all indices to qualify an irresponsible man and a reincarnation of the devil himself, my “father” will tick all boxes. Mum works with the government, “okay” job that saw her struggle to give us the best education, food and clothing and she took it further by having her own house. It wasn’t easy but we did not beg. While all these was going on, my “dad”, being a businessman had things going on well. He was rich. Yes, he was! But we were never a part of it. He didn’t care about us, he abandoned us. Few times we called him for school fees, he would curse my mum out, tell us to go and look for our father elsewhere and brag about how he is made for life. In between, in order to make peace with him, myself and my sister, while we were young, would go on holiday visits to him. Just a brief description of his habits: As a chronic womanizer, he had so many girlfriends then that were always around to “maintain” his rented apartment, he was also a chain smoker and an alcoholic that got drunk almost every hour of the day. All these he did proudly right before his two little kids. While leaving after the holidays, we wouldn’t get our school fees/needs for some flimsy reasons like flushing/hiding his pack of cigarettes, throwing his alcoholic wines away, disturbing his girlfriends. Yes, we probably did some of those but it was our own little way of helping to save our dad. So the cycle continued. There was this day he came to my secondary school, he told someone to go get me and he started cursing and abusing my mom, sister and grandma, all at the top pf his voice. But I was too young to reply. My mates and other students were all around listening. It was a big psychological trauma for me. It got so bad that I was even contemplating suicide. Not to waste much of your time, about 5 years ago my mum and dad started talking again, with the intervention of some well meaning aged persons around us. Did I tell you that things aren’t as they used to be for him anymore? Business isn’t as good as it used to so he isn’t as rich, just “okay”. I’ll explain why later on. So they got talking. My mum would go visit him, prepare meals especially during “Ramadan”. I wasn’t privy to all these while it was going on because she knew I wouldn’t support it as I already developed hatred for my dad. They took the reconciliation of a sham further which saw my mum make a major mistake that would later put me in this state. She requested a transfer at work to my dad’s city with plans to now stay with him. My dad actually made it compulsory for my mum to do this. My mum is the “soft” type when it comes to issues concerning my dad so he took advantage of this a lot. With time, I started going there too. At least, I had to visit my mum. But the bond was never there between me and my dad. We kept on having issues. He wanted to be in control while I never hesitated to put him in his place. I always told him it was my mum who sent me to school. Damn! He hated hearing this. He wanted me to give everyone the impression that he was a responsible father. My mum wanted same too “for peace to reign”, as she puts it. But I was unyielding. He would say I lack morals and wasn’t brought up in the right way, that it is typical of kids brought up by single mothers. In-between too, one of his girlfriends got pregnant so he has a second wife that’s birthed two kids now. But they are separated now even though he has custody of the two kids. Just recently, he married a third. Yes, he’s that wayward. So just last month, there was an issue between them again and my dad’s priest came later on to settle it. I was around with my sister. In the course of settling the disagreement, my dad stood up and hit my mum. He was going to hit her the second time when I stood up and pushed him away. Damn! This is my mother, my god, my backbone. Guys, this woman is all I have on earth. She’s the only reason I struggle to make it as I feel greatly indebted to her. I wouldn’t just sit and watch someone take her life that way. While I pushed him, he started cursing me. Well, ever since, my dad has been telling everyone that I beat him up. He also a good talker, he talks a lot. He thereafter told my mum to pack out of his house “if she still needs her life” and she has done that. To digress a bit, my dad is nursing a political ambition for the National Assembly and he has failed twice at it. This was what saw him sell a good part of his business to fund the ambition yet nothing has come out of it. Did I also tell you he is very fetish? Oh Lord! We grew up seeing all forms of calabash in his cupboard, I do not know what they were for anyway. But whenever I had issues with him, he would tell me that he would attack me spiritually. He actually can. He could be that desperate. Selling of his business to find politics has seen things turn really bad for him. Someone who would drive the latest car, spend millions within a short time on women, hotels, expensive drinks and other frivolities. Now, things are not as they used to be. Sometimes, he’d be without a penny and when he gets a little later, it’s straight to the bar to get drunk, smoke cigarettes and sleep with girls young enough to be his daughter and married women too. He moved to his own house in his hometown some years back, which he is still struggling to complete in order to aid his political ambition. He is an ally of a topmost Nigerian political kingmaker/elder statesman (like a Tinubu). Guys, I am frustrated and I really want to ruin whatever is left of this man. God forgive me! Here are my plans and this is where I need your advice: 1. I want to file a case against him with NGO’s that fight violence against women. If possible, let him spend some quality time behind bars. Note that I recorded all that transpired between him and my mum up to the point he was beating her up so I have audio evidence. 2. Write the Police, requesting that they help me warn him to back-off from threatening myself and my mum, especially. 3. Write the the top politician I talked about above and other major politicians around us here so they know the kind of person he is and that he does not deserve any political office. Believe me, this could spell an end to his political ambition as the man is more of a political kingmaker. He, to a large extent, determines who gets what posts in my hometown and that is why they all (governors, senators, honourables etc) flock around him. This will ruin his reputation. 4. Write my dad, disowning him and telling him I do not want to have anything to do with him anymore. The trauma is becoming unbearable for me. I do not know how to go about (1) and (2) above as I don’t know any NGO that could help or anyone in the Police force. PS: There’s a lot to say and I don’t know where to start from so I will be here to provide further details at your request. But I just need your advice, I’ll do anything to protect my mother, sister and myself. My dad is after our lives. If I am after his too, I don’t think it’s bad. It would be a case of “fastest fingers first”. We’ve suffered too much to lose to this devil! 5 Likes 2 Shares |
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