BY IVIE IKECHUKWU

God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh day. Likewise, God commanded the Israelites to work for six days and rest on the seventh day. God commanded rest and we must take it because it is good for us, but the import of this is that work came before rest. We should not lazy around not working or not working as much as we should, thus not deriving the value/blessing we should get from work. How do we handle this on a typical day?

Get out of bed: You can’t remain on your bed all morning.
Pray: Start the day with God. You are already working to have a more robust fellowship with God, so approach it with proper work ethics.
Plan your day: It gives you a sense of purpose.
Brush your mouth: As simple as this is, it sets you on a path of work.
Take your bath: It helps you freshen up and reinvigorates you.
Eat, if you are a breakfast kind of person.
Then set out to actualize your plans for the day.
Approach your day and anything you have to do with a work mindset; taking into account the value you hope to derive or give by embarking on such activity. Carry out the items on your to-do list like someone who is truly working. Even if your work for the day is domestic chores, you can still have a to-do list and approach your chores as work because it is. I suppose that’s how people who say they work 18 hours a day go about their work. They are taking every item on their list with seriousness, even the hangouts. If the activity though recreational will not bring or give tangible value, they drop it.

A lot of people are actually working for lengthy hours, but they do not know that they are working or fail to approach their activities with a work mentality or work ethics. For instance, they babysit, hang out with friends etc but do so without purpose and attitude to work. For instance, you can hang out with a goal to bond or build stronger and healthier relationships, not just for the fun of it. In doing so, you are having fun but you are working at something. Who says work cannot be fun or that you can’t have fun working? You are giving and/or getting value as well as making something meaningful happen. The mindset that work has to be tedious or laborious and some kind of punishment or strain is a faulty mindset. This is probably responsible for treating some work casually because they are not laborious. I get paid by my employer though most of the things I do comes naturally to me and I don’t seem to bat an eyelid to do them. However, as I evaluated my work, I saw the huge role my “hobbies” are playing in my work environment.

A certain janitor working for a cyberspace company was once asked the kind of work she does and her response was outstanding: I contribute to sending people to space. This speaks volume of her work mentality and sense of purpose. She is contributing to a hygienic and neat work environment for other personnel to work effectively. The security man by the gate is contributing, no unwarranted visitor burps in to disrupt work because somebody is working manning the gate. Do not take your work for granted especially if you don’t have formal education. Each member of staff in the work environment is a contributor whether CEO or Janitor.

Undoubtedly, some work is not laborious but that’s what it is work! I think that if everyone finds their places and does what they enjoy doing or what they should do, everyone will have fun working. For instance, I drive to work myself but if I have my way, I will park my car and join somebody to work every day instead of driving. However, I have to drive because I take my child to school, get some groceries on my way back home and it’s more comfortable to have control of your time. Nonetheless, I am not going to apply to drive even the Governor no matter how lucrative it is because driving is not my fixation. However, I know a man in my workplace that drives for the company. He loves to drive and even looks forward to driving. We have traveled several times across Nigeria and sometimes in quick successions, but he enjoys doing it. During one of our very long trips, I offered to drive a while because I felt he should be exhausted to covering such a large distance, but he refused. Over time, the company assigned him to someone who doesn’t travel, he felt like he was serving a jail term not traveling. He likes to travel, he loves to drive, and that is his fixation. Driving is laborious to me but fun to him. His job is his hobby, so he is enjoying work. I have also been driven by people who don’t like to drive but they were employed as drivers. The difference is quite appreciable.

Work, therefore is not something that is necessarily laborious but something you do to give and/or get value. Usually, value does not always have to be monetary. Money is indeed a form of value but value is not always money. Value could be healthier relationships with family, friends and associates, good health, knowledge, etc. Conclusively, God saw that His work was good after each day’s work and on completion of His work; He saw that all He created was good. Therefore, do your daily job/work with the right mindset, giving or deriving the consequent value.

Inspirational Pen Network 2020-2022. All rights reserved.
INSPIRATIONAL PEN NETWORK
READ INSPIPEN ARTICLES@https://www.inspirationfordailyliving.com/?m=1

SIBLING RIVALRY, ITS CAUSES, EXAMPLES IN THE BIBLE AND WHAT YOU CAN DO AS A PARENT

IVIE IKECHUKWU May 14, 2021
SIBLING RIVALRY

Sibling rivalry is the act of siblings contending with each other for the same thing, objective or superiority. It entails constant disagreement and bickering and in some cases fighting.
Sibling rivalry is a common phenomenon in many families around the world and can be observed as early as childhood; where siblings compete for the attention of their parent(s), contend for toys and other belongings etc. It can be mild in some cases and easily resolved and some children will outgrow them as they become more mature. In other cases, it can be very severe, starts from childhood and deteriorates into greater degrees of hatred and animosity as it continues into adulthood. Some siblings start well relating cordially and care for one another, but along the line, they turn out to become each other’s rival necessitated by certain happenings.

BIBLE EXAMPLES OF SIBLING RIVALRY

In the bible, sibling rivalry was recorded in one of the earliest accounts among two brothers, Cain and Abel. Cain killed his brother because of envy. God had respect for Abel’s offering and this infuriated Cain. He was not just angered; he proceeded to kill his unsuspecting brother who did him no wrong but offered an acceptable sacrifice to God

“Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast” (Genesis 4:2-5-NIV).

Cain’s anger speaks of unhealthy competition and inability to stand the success of his sibling. He would have been pleased if God accepted him, and not his brother. His anger progressed into taking the life of his brother

“Now Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let's go out to the field." And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him” (Genesis 4:7-8-NIV).

Another common example of sibling rivalry in the bible is recorded in the account of Jacob (also called Israel) and his sons. He loved one of his sons Joseph greatly and it was outrightly obvious to the others that Joseph was given preferential treatment.

“Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons because he had been born to him in his old age, and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him (Gen 37:3-4-NIV).


Also, when Jacob was going to see his brother, Esau whom he supplanted birthright, he sent messengers ahead of him to inform Esau of his return. The messengers told him Esau was coming to see him with 400 men. He was afraid Esau could attack him, so he divided his families into groups. In this division, he also put Joseph and Rachael at the rear and other members of the family ahead.

“Jacob looked up and there was Esau, coming with his four hundred men; so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two maidservants. He put the maidservants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph in the rear” (Gen 33:1-2-NIV).

Joseph also had dreams whose interpretation meant he would rule over his brothers. This in addition to the favouritism Joseph enjoyed from his father made his siblings hate him more. They ployed to kill him and make void his dreams, however, they sold him in exchange for money instead of killing him because Joseph was a man of purpose, and God had plans for him. In Josephs case, his father contributed to the hatred he experienced from his brothers. Sibling rivalry has always been in existence among families and not a new trend.

CAUSES OF SIBLING RIVALRY
Parental disposition towards children: parents can unknowingly induce sibling rivalry by their actions and disposition towards their children. For instance, favouritism as seen in the case of Joseph above can make the other siblings rival the favoured child. Child preference can be necessitated sometimes to the child’s peculiar abilities, special skills, academic performance, love from that child or even resemblance to parent. When a parent displays extravagant affection for one child and much less to the others, it can promote jealousy from them to the favoured child. Parents can also induce sibling rivalry in handling conflict resolution. Parents who take sides regularly with one child as against the other can make the other feel cheated. Perceived and inequality and unfairness trigger sibling rivalry.

Children disposition towards one another

A Cantankerous child may likely get disciplined more than the easy-going and well-behaved child. The constant discipline he gets may make the child feel less loved.

Polygamy: Some half-siblings may also naturally want to get at each other due to certain disposing factors in the home, their mothers attitude, inequitable distribution of resources etc.

Jealousy which can be triggered by any of the above-mentioned points.

Lack of understanding of the purpose of the family: ignorance of the reason family exists can fuel sibling rivalry. Some people don’t see beyond themselves and don’t value and celebrate their differences and fail to understand family is a gift. Siblings are blessings and when the short are down, there is always a place you can return to and be safe and supported which is the family.

Sibling rivalry is sometimes limited to childhood and fades out as the children grow into adulthood and become more mature. However, in some severe cases, the status quo remains and as adults, sibling rivalry still exists. Some common causes of this include:

Long unresolved or poorly resolved conflicts
Influence of spouses among married siblings
Societal status of one sibling relative to the others
Inheritance: one sibling feel cheated in the allotment of their father’s assets
Polygamy
YOUR ROLE AS PARENT IN CURBING SIBLING RIVALRY
Do not initiate rivalry among your children whether directly or indirectly. Ensure fairness in children upbringing and be seen to be fair. Though you love a particular child greatly for reasons best known to you, don’t put it in the face of the other children. Be fair in giving gifts, quality of education, enforcing discipline, display of affection etc.

Resolve conflicts among siblings amicably without taking sides and follow through the process that the conflict is truly resolved.

When your kids compete, it’s an avenue to teach love, sharing and caring. It’s natural for young kids to compete for your attention, toys, sit in a position in the car etc. Take advantage of these moments to teach them to unite and look out for each others’ welfare. Start early to bond your children and make them involved in each other’s lives, celebrate each other’s attainment, pray for one another, be friends with each other and care for one another.

If you are drawn to academic performance, it's okay you will likely be pleased with a high flier or gifted child, whatever peculiar attribute the others have, use it to celebrate them too. One child may not be intelligent, but a gifted singer, homemaker, industrious etc, celebrate that child’s uniqueness and also make provision for its development just as you do to the one who loves academics.

Both parents should unite to bond their children purposefuly. In some homes, mummy has her favourite and daddy has his favourite and they turn out to rival one another, mummy’s favourite against daddy's favourite. Above all, be proactive to make your children positively involved in each other’s life. Set them up to love one another and not against each other. There is strength in unity and it is good and pleasant for siblings to be united.
“How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron's beard, down upon the collar of his robes. It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore” (Psalm 133-NIV)



God bless you!

CLICK THE LINKS BELOW FOR MORE PARENTING RESOURCES

20 INSPIRING BIBLE VERSES FOR SUCCESSFUL PARENTING:https://www.inspirationfordailyliving.com/2021/04/inspiringbibleversesforparenting.html?m=1

HOW TO RAISE GODLY CHILDREN: https://www.inspirationfordailyliving.com/2021/04/raisingGodlychildren.html?m=1

Copyright © Purpose and Inspiration Pen Network 2020-2021. All rights reserved.

Procrastination is the action of delaying or putting off something that should be done or requires immediate attention. It also implies blameworthy delay, especially through laziness or apathy. Apart from laziness or apathy, some common reasons people procrastinate as shown by research include lack of motivation, indecision, indiscipline, perfectionism, laborious task and poor time management. Procrastination reflects in different forms such as in academic settings, at the offices and business places and even at home with simple and basic domestic chores. Procrastination is also reflected in people’s faith and worship of God as can be seen in certain phrases such as: “I will read my bible later”, “I will give my life to Christ soon not today”, “I will be more fervent next year”, I will be more deliberate in using my gifts very soon etc.

During my college days, assignments were given in one of my courses and the submission date was slated for four weeks. I said to myself four weeks is a long time, I will attend to the assignments later, without recourse to a set or definite timeline to commence the assignments. The lecturer who slated four weeks for submission knew it would require research and that length of time to get it done. I kept telling myself I will do it, I still have time, and so two weeks passed and three weeks passed as well, I felt I still had time. Suddenly, it dawned on me a day before the submission date that I had an assignment to submit the next day. I began to run helter-skelter to save the day and still do a well-researched term paper. However, the time to get it thoroughly done has passed because I kept procrastinating. Fascinatingly, I was not caught alone in this web as some other colleagues had also tolled the same path of procrastination and were trying to catch up with meeting the deadline for submission. I was in the faculty of sciences at the time and a friend of mine in the faculty of Engineering then asked a pertinent question, when was this assignment given? I replied four weeks ago and he marveled why I was about it just the day before submission. Many times, that is the way we treat our goals and dreams. We imagine tomorrow is a long time enough to achieve the things we need to do today and keep deferring implementing them.

Procrastination will prevent you from achieving your life purpose and desired dreams. You may have set certain goals and dreams that are achievable, but procrastination makes you think you can always achieve them at a later time without setting a specific time for their commencement. The goal is not time-bound ( https://www.inspirationfordailyliving.com/2021/03/time-bound.html?m=1) as a result, many people do not fulfill their dreams or they achieve their goals later than they should. For instance, people set goals in the wake of a new year and even write same in a diary, but no specific time allotted to these plans, it remains as wishlist not because they are not actionable but because in the mind of the goal setter, he makes excuse to execute them at a later time.
Procrastination is subtle laziness, when you don’t act when you should, there is no result or productivity and the fulfillment you should derive from meeting your set goals. Don’t shift the tasks you can do today to the morrow or a later time, tomorrow has its own goals and actions too; take the course now if you need to, commence the project, write the book, preach the gospel etc. Fulfill your dreams and whatever task you have determined to do, delay no further but act now.

In conclusion, proverbs (see reference below text) shows the outcome of a lazy man and one that lacks judgment.

“I went past the field of the sluggard, past the vineyard of the man who lacks judgment; thorns had come up everywhere, the ground was covered with weeds, and the stone wall was in ruins. I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man. (Prov 24:31-31-NIV).

Thank you for reading. Act now and delay no further!

CLICK THE LINKS BELOW TO READ ARTICLES
TRAVELING TO EUROPE AND AMERICA
https://www.inspirationfordailyliving.com/2021/04/traveling-to-europe-and-america.html?m=1

SIBLING RIVALRY AND WHAT YOU CAN DO AS A PARENT
https://www.inspirationfordailyliving.com/2021/05/purposeful-parenting-series-sibling.html?m=1

AFRICAN TIME CONCEPT: CAUSES, ADVERSE EFFECT AND TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS

AUTHOR: IVIE IKECHUKWU
May 25, 2021

TIME

Time is a free important universal resource available to everybody regardless of age, location and status. It is an important resource because it’s prudent use amount to productivity. In the same wise, its poor use can make you less productive, inefficient and wasteful. Time is simply defined as the period in which all things happen, or the exact moment that something happens.

Time is measurable and as such can be used to assess activities and progress as well. The basic unit of time is the second, and each second count progresses into minutes, hours, days and ultimately our lifetime. In a previous article captioned time-bound, it was stated that life is a complex process of time (Lifetime) broken down into simpler phases of time.

Wise use of time is crucial to fulfilling our purpose and consciousness of this fact can make you intentionally plan and prioritize your use of time. Each second rightly used amount to the wise use of our life as the bible admonishes us to use our time discretely.

“Take care then how you are living, not as unwise, but as wise; Making good use of the time, because the days are evil” (Eph 5:15-16-BBE).

AFRICAN TIME
Africa-time is a concept that depicts poor use of time and time management in many Africa settings. I don’t mean the various time zones in Africa such as West Africa Time, Central Africa time etc. It is an anti-punctuality concept and implies tardiness and a relaxed mindset with regards to the use of time. It is a certain kind of time culture that is practiced by some Africans and in other parts of the world due to conditioning or adjustment to set precedence. For instance, if a clinic is scheduled to open by 8am and close by 4pm, it implies the work hours is between 8am and 4pm. You decide to visit the clinic by 8am but may wait for an additional hour because one or more members of staff have not resumed work for the day. The same phenomenon ensues for most of the various organizations especially in the public and unorganized private sectors. You need to get a service done, the staff has not resumed, sometimes, the doors are yet to be opened though it’s past resumption time. Another instance of the African time concept can be observed in the startup time of events. For example, if the event is slated for 8am, those who observe the African time concept will not commence the event by 8am and participants/guests will arrive much later than 8am because in their thoughts, the event will not kick off by 8am. In some social functions like a wedding for example, 12noon prompt is slated as the time to commence the event on the invitation card, though the celebrants and organizers know they aim to start at 2pm. The guests in turn will also aim at 2-3pm for attendance though they saw 12 noon on the invitation card. This is so because the African time phenomenon has conditioned most people to consciously and unconsciously adjust to a pattern of tardiness. You may find yourself embracing this poor time culture because many a time, I have asked myself if a scheduled program will commence by the time stated. This kind of mindset can make you delay in your preparation and ultimately the time you show up for the event. More often than not, you will not be wrong in your judgment because the organizers will truly not commence as scheduled. The funny aspect of this African time culture is that it has become normal and doesn’t look like a wrong tradition.
Lateness is a symptom that reveals African culture as a non-precision based value management behavioural system. It is more inclined towards consumption than productivity and innovation, more wasteful than preserving; thrives more on the celebration of royalties than service. Of a surety, African time affects us adversely and a readjustment to this trend is of utmost importance.

ADVERSE EFFECTS OF AFRICAN TIME CONCEPT

Economically: Tardiness affects productivity adversely unknown to us because it encourages sloppiness. Time well utilized produces value and its poor use translate to less value or achieving set goals in a longer time than you should ordinarily do. It also translates to the loss of finances and contributes to poverty due to time wastage. Time is a necessity for all economic activities and their resultant value. Superficially, it may not seem to you that you are wasting resource (time) and losing value when you practice African time. It’s the seemingly seconds wasted that translate into minutes, hours and ultimately days wasted.
Psychologically: Long waiting time can be emotionally disturbing for those who keep to time and it also affects their other plans for the day
Delayed performance
Waste and retardation
Lack of zeal and enthusiasm
A poor mindset to time management
Late closures of events
If you become conditioned to the Africa-time phenomenon, you will likely be late to

The office
An interview/Examination
To your worship centres
Conference or business meeting
Your business centres or for economic activities
Miss out some vital details of a conference or program that is beneficial to you
Keep others waiting
Achieving your set goals
Fulfilling your life purpose

CAUSES OF AFRICAN TIME
The culture of lateness itself programs your mind to adjust to the practice, you don’t want to arrive at an event and be waiting a long time before they commence.
An attitude of laxity: Use of time spurs from the predisposing attitude of the individual. For instance, an attitude of sloppiness will make a woman give more time than necessary to look gorgeous for an event that will be resourceful to her development without recourse to the event itself or scheduled time. It’s okay to look gorgeous, but do so utilizing time wisely.
Interest: If the mindset is just to mark your presence, you may not be interested in being punctual, but attend at your pace.
Socioeconomic factors such as Inefficient transport facilities, accessibility and poor roads network could contribute indirectly.
Procrastination.
Indiscipline.
Poor time management skills

SOLUTION TO THE AFRICAN TIME CONCEPT
To manage this African time concept, a few organizations put up sanctions for late coming such as a fine, to check members from defaulting punctuality rules. Others state explicitly on their adverts “no African time”. If need be, remuneration should be based on the time or hours put to work, it will likely discourage laxity and enforce discipline.

Leaders at corporate levels and individuals must embrace self-discipline to use of time

There is a need for a paradigm shift, value rebirth and time-culture redefinition. Mindsets and attitude must be towards punctuality, resourcefulness and productivity without being forced.

TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS

Wake up early and plan your day
Set goals, both long term and short term and deliberately work to actualize the goals.
Prioritize your use of time for more productive activities or events
Allot time to your daily plans or responsibilities as well as your set goals. Deliberately have a to-do list and don’t let the day amount to waste without achieving meaningful goals
Don’t get used to the Africa time concept, deliberately detach yourself from its practice.

CONCLUSION
There is no doubt that some Africans are good time managers, but the phenomenon of African time has been ingrained into her culture that it also affects the disposition of those who can manage time wisely. Tardiness does not apply solely to Africans but spans across the globe. The concept is lateness generally and not the fate of all Africans, but applies to all individuals that practice it. A reorientation is important and it begins with you and those you can influence to be good users of time.

Thank you for reading!

To view more inspiring articles, visit
https://www.inspirationfordailyliving.com/?m=1