Hmmm.. are u sure it's jealousy? Are u sure something else didnt occur between the two families?

Chineke!! Run!!! Abeg na big NO. Dont let your sister be used as a cheap dog. Dont let her.. travelling abroad is not the best thing that could happen to a person. God has better plans for your family abeg no be hair salon or prostitution.

You have given us a really vague statement here. Its hard to give advice if we dont know exactly what u are talking about. Be honest and spill your beans, afterall nobody knows who the other is on here. So oga, talk.. What did u do to make madam say what she said?

Its all in the head abeg. Take me for intance, I was raised I a wealthy home and I attended private schools till I went overseas for uni. I have lived outside naija now for almost 14 years but guess what? My yoruba still dey strong kakaraka - (in writing and verbally), I even speak two dialects - oyo and ilesha. I speak pidgin fluently and I speak nigerian accent english fluently too.. I also know how to switch it up when im with my oyinbo colleagues, in fact if u see me at work, you wont believe I be correct naija babe o... I eat my naija meals, I rarely eat burgers and co. my best meal is eba and okra with titus fish stew ( omg yesss).. I hate anything made with ororo (veg oil), I use palm oil for everything from moinmoin to frying plantains to making stew.. I mean I could go on and on. I have always been this way.. while in Naija my siblings liked to eat at chinese restaurants and oither expensive places but I enjoyed eating at 'Inasrate' in mokola ibadan....i also patronized 'Yakoyo' and 'Iya ope'. I was and is still the different one in my family. We all left naija at thesame time and if u hear my siblings' fancy ajebutter accent? Omo You wont believe we are siblings. You will think they were born here. My point is this: ajebutter ir not,as long as u teach your kids to know how to act and in the right setting, you teach them to speak with such intelligence, omo trust me, people willpraise you for raising them well... oh yea dont forget manners too.. teach them our ways.. Till todsy I kneel on both knees when I greet my parents or any adult. Its my culture and I love it.

In that case my dear sister, you need to leave him and move on. I am one to advocate for couples staying together unless there's a third party involved in the form of adultery. You pay the bills? Hun you will be fine. It might take a while but He will come back begging you'll see. You just have to stand up for yourself. And pleaaaaaaase Drop this act of making yourself so naive and gullible. The guy has trully taken advantage of your softness and it needs to stop if u want to enjoy peace.
What I will tell you is this, before u leave him, make sure u confirm everything.. dont leave on an assumption. It is true ibo men and most nigerian men generally will rather marry from 'home'. So my dear, your fears may be true. Please tell your husband these fears. He will probably get angry as usual but as long as he does not get violent with you, be ready to take it. Have your phone handy and have the police on speed dial. THEN if he confirms your fears, please leave him. By the way, if youdo decide to leave, do so discretely. Dont let him know. Just tell him " no problem" then let him get home one day to meet an empty house. This takes serious planning and committment. You love him but he clearly does not feel thesame way. Be prepared to cry for this will hurt like hell.., I know becuase I have been though it. But I promise u dear, there's light at the end of this tunnel. Dont settle for less. You can be happy and in love some place else. Ask God for guidiance. This is not easy but u will laugh last.

I absolutely understand where you're coming from.I also understand why there is an urgent need to panic in this situation. Unfortunately, It is possible that your husband is getting marriedin a few days and it is a shameful thing for his family to support that behavior without your consent. it is also possible that he isnt getting married. Who knows? Only God knows. Therefore if you are a christian, it is time to get down on your knees and ask the holy spirit to shut down that union asap.

To me, it sounds like you have given him every opportunity to cheat. You allow him to step outside the house to make phone calls, you allow him to have phone intimacy. I'm not saying that you should have yelled at him every time he misbehaved, . heck he's only human but my point is this: what I would have done is to bring it up to his attention at the very first sign of infidelity. Tell him, hey baby, I know that you talk to the girl in the car and I know that you had phone intimacy and I'm not happy with it. If you continue this way then we are going to have a problem. How would you feel if i was having phone intimacy with men?" Also, it seems that you have been very lenient with him and he's taking advantage of your quietness.
At this point, you need to do away with the shyness and the quietness and stand up and fight for your marriage. Confront him and point blank ask him if he's getting married. Do away with the possibility of getting a helper from Nigeria and start looking for a wau to make it work in Switzerland (thats where u are right?). after all many people who live in Switzerland have kids and are able to manage and cope with the daily schedules. Don't leave room for temptation don't allow the devil to enter your home.
Meanwhile, let me ask you this , do you cook ibo meals for your husband? It might be that the man is just craving something from home. If you don't know how to cook this meal I suggest you learn. Step outside your comfort zone to make this.... it is true d easiest way to a man's heart is good food oo my sister...

to me it sounds like he's a ghost husband. there's something he's hiding and she needs to get to the bottom of it. Besides does he not have like a checkbook, a bank account card, a credit card, or a driver's license ? ?...anything with his name on it?

Thank you all for your words or encouragement and advice. God bless you.

We live in Minnesota. No kids. We got married January last year (almost 2 years now). He has always had this tendency (before we got married) and I brought it to his attention so many times... each time, he said "I'm working on it, you know I'm not perfect". I work part time and I am in school part time so I stay busy. Let me also add that he is a great guy. I mean, besides these anger bouts, he is an excellent man.

My apologies, this topic may have already been addressed. However, I searched through most of the posts but I really could not relate to any of the topics. Before I go on, I feel the need to remind everyone that I came on here because I am hurt and I am, desperately seeking advice from a third party and PLEASE, don't comment if you have nothing good to say.
Okay, so my husband enjoys keeping to himself when we have arguments..and he could go days without speaking to me. Initially, I made it my duty to keep the communication line open and after enduring the silence for about 24 hours, I ALWAYS broke the silence. Well, fast forward ... I eventually realized that this was becoming a pattern so I quit being the silence- breaker. I just let him continue displaying his malice keeping skills until he is tired to break the silence himself. Sometimes this, takes days, the most recent being over a week and here's what happened:
Last month, my husband was sent on a 6-month official trip overseas and we have tried to maintain a positive long-distance relationship via phone, skype etc.. Recently, my friend and her fiance made a trip to my city (they had some events to attend that week) but they stayed in a hotel for privacy. I thought it would be a great gesture to cook for them, at least one time, during the duration of their trip. I made the meal and took it to them at the hotel (We just moved to a new house and we do not have furniture yet- to host anyone). Anyway, when I got there, My friend and her fiance met me at the lobby where we chatted and relaxed a little bit before I went back home. My husband called my phone while I was there, he wanted me to come on skype. I told him I was not home and that I took food to my friend and her fiance at the hotel. Mind you, he knew before hand that my friend and her hubby would be in town and would be lodging at the hotel. He just did not know that I would be cooking and taking the meal to them (I guess I should have told him that too, considering I tell him everything- but honestly it skipped my mind because I didnt think it was a big deal), Anyway, when he called, I told him where I was and what I was was doing there and ... the rest is history.. He sent me a very very very long text message, chastising me for taking food to a hotel, he warned me to "NEVER IN MY LIFE TELL HIM SUCH AGAIN", Yes! he reaally snapped and hasn't talked to me in over a week and honestly I am fed up with his constant attitude of keeping malice. I wish I had just kept my mouth shut. I know they say it's good to share everything with your spouse but can anyone blame me for not wanting to share now? I really dont know what to do. I agree we will disagree on things because we are two different people but why must he get extremely mad every time he disagrees with me? Please your kind comments are welcome. I also need to know if I did wrong by taking food to my friend and her hubby. I feel so horrible. Long distance is bad enough but then he wont speak to me at all?

By the way, we live in a country where there are very few Nigerian restaurants, and my friend and her hubby planned on eating burgers and pizzas throughout their trip. This is why I felt the need to cook naija meal for them as a kind gesture.