Why did the chicken cross the road?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good of man.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

OSAMA BIN LADEN: That chicken knew nothing of its mission (ha ha ha) only that it would be a martyr.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and uccessfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

BILL CLINTON: I did not, and I repeat, did not have sexual relations with that chicken.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.

L.A.P.D.: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

GEORGE W. BUSH: The chicken crossed the road because he was an evil-doer, and we smoked him out of his hole and got him on the run!

shockreaction' the question does not make much sense'

well i guess evrybody always sets standard for themselves if a question like this is defining wat standard one sets for him or herself, this question implys to the kinna mindset of an individual u wanna marry the question implys to the environment u wanna av ur spouse come from,,or like environmental possibillism , if you do not know wat environmental possibilism is, its a relationship which humans have with their environment , bringing the best out of both the humans and the environment, in simple terms it means different kind of environment comes with different kinna people , so mos def within the constraints off the standard you have set for ur self, wat kinna environment would most likely give u the kinna spouse u want with those standards as you have set for urself,
unless u are a man who takes wat ever comes his way
cheers

shockreaction' the question does not make much sense'
well i guess evrybody always sets standard for themselves if a question like this is defining wat standard one sets for him or herself, this question implys to the kinna mindset of an individual u wanna mary , if you do not know wat environmental possibilism is, its a relationship which humans have with their environment , in simple terms it means different kind of environment comes with different kinna people , so mos def within the constraints off the standard you have set for ur self, wat kinna environment would most likely give u the kinna spouse u want with those standards as you have set for urself,
unless u are a man who takes wat ever comes his way
cheers

now check this .its not fiction its real ooooo,so una wey dey play with snakes, be sure of the size of the snake you dey play with or else, it might make a meal out of you ,

Whom would you prefer to marry?
1. A Nigerian raised in a foreign land
2. A Nigerian raised at home
3. A Nigerian who has a mix of both, with:
(a) More of foreign.
(b) More of home.

yep, that crocodile/Aligator just had the meal of its life,

futile effort{wrong place}

rolly,
gotcha !!!!!
was just trying to bring you outa ur shell, talkin of going out, u have no idea, take kare and be good and ill stay razz, lol!!!!!

see as the dog just dey tremble i can just imagine wats going on in its brain,
this is wats going on in the dogs mind,
dog- if this chair just break peren ,!!i m sushi or worse still turned to mulch.

rolly, ur name reminds me of a kinna candy we used to eat wen i was a kid, on this forum i think we use our sense of humour to make who ever reads any post to laugh not insult, if your sense of humour dont reach that acceptable standard, for you to either laugh or cry, or as the case may be,then take ma professional advise,'keep mute'

this sure is hilarious, wat d!!! screensaver, omo me i go log out o

well, they first of all attack their twin towers and then dive into their pentagon.

thats a heck of a family,bet they want their papa dead as soon as possible, nice one

wat else is new, i was just wandering wat took him, but how did he leave the u k,how did he pass thru their customs or did he make use of 'rentaghost' theres more questions than answers,the british govt sef get hand inside ,remember all na politics, safe

did u also find out that it cost N8000 to manufacture one N1000 note,you shuld get your facts right,i think we av a very insensitive govt and the earlier we start to resist their policies the better, but hey ,i do not support violence.it only brings more destruction,
word

bibi,'thats all [very wrong]' Why are you talking like that? You are talking of more money compounded into one note so it can be easy to launder money in Nigeria. From your yarns I can tell you have a very poor knowledge of history.

Where are the coins? Where is the one naira note? Soon there'll be no 5 naira, 10 naira, twenty naira note. Thats typical of the nature of Nigerians. Open your eyes and see <snip> If its because you want to carry more money with less burden then you can as well get a value card or some of these cards you load money on.

Remember that it was this same dispensation that intorduced the N500 note. Nigeria is sinking and all you can talk about is dinner with your friends.

Nigeria should be viewed as comedy show. Here is a country that does not do the proper research before a trend is copied, Americans use the 1000 dollar bill to transfer huge funds across banks, such moneys are not in the individual hands at such, but here its only done because of the selfish ends of some individuals, the same statement is made all over again, "'it wont devalue the naira" whereas even b4 the release the naira started to devalue when it heard it was having a senior brother, I pity Nigeria, if we do not act now then when will we, it reminds me of the song of Femi Kuti, "as them dey dabaru am dey go, my people just dey follow. 'I sorry sorry o, I sorry for Nigeria, I sorry sorry o, I sorry for Africa." Let’s act right now so we don’t have to fight right.