obowunmi:

@OP, a few questions for you: Did anyone force you to marry this man ?

After the beating, how do you feel ? Do you get some form of sexual satisfaction thru these beating ?s How old are you ? How many children do you have ? Are you mentally handicapped or unstable ?

Nobody force my to marry him, How do i know that he is an abuser, you met a guy who seems nice and lovely so how do i know he will abuse me, Do you get some form of sexual satisfaction thru these beating ? noway i feel like he is the devil himself. i have two kids. Are you mentally handicapped or unstable ? no but an undergraduate, i dropped out because i have nobody to support me. it's my mother only and i am the oldest of 7 children my mother's husband is late. i am 25 years old.

excanny:

Yes, it is true. Not only men. Humans in general value what they spend their money on than on what didn't cost them money.

But it is not always in the form of money, it could also be time, sacrifice, etc.

I think your husband may fall into the latter class. You can only judge him when he has money and doesn't like spending some on you.

OAM4J:

I dont like it when you post before me. You always say everything I want to say leaving me with the option of posting only 'gbam', 'agree', 'my tots exactly' 

are you sure you are not using 'juju' to preempt what I would have posted?

@OP
I agree with Chaircover.

Every case of cheating has to be examined on its own merit. the ans to some of these questions will also help you decide what you can/should do.

What led to it? who is/are the girl(s) involve?, is it habitual? How is it affecting the children? is he willing and doing all to change? etc

dayokanu:

Yo tell them gurl.
Those young girls want to use sex as a weapon. It never works

freshera:

Not married but a good observer so abeg don't take me too seriously. If a man is cheating definitely divorce is not the immediate solution since it may be the fault of the woman directly or indirectly. But while trying to investigate the roots of the problem, abegii make una shine ya eyes!!! First find out the person he is cheating with (if its a woman ), and if she possesses spiritual hooking powers (i m sure u understand)  cos if she does, mennnnnn, na wahala be dat o!

Seriously, you have to be careful cos it could turn out to be a matter of life and death. You may have to stop sex immediately and go for tests and all the stuff but most importantly you may have to start watching your back and your children's own cos there are dare devil husband snatchers out there.

I personally know of a doctor who fell into the hands of these coldhearted women and he was "bewitched" as they say . The wife was a very religious woman and so she started trying to rescue the husband. At the time, one of their kids was abroad and the others were in boarding school.

The woman suddenly fell ill and then passed on after a time of rigorous spiritual warfare. Not long after the woman died, people started seeing the other woman more often around the clinic. And rumours went on that he might marry her soon since he craved the company of women and that was exactly what the mistress wanted anyway.

Anyway the woman refused to tell her kids what was going on before she passed on so when they come back they will come right into the new woman's den. while their father is oblivious of what is going on.

Another case, also of another doctor the wife involved actually lost her promising son in a spiritual struggle with her husband's mistress who wanted her to give up the husband. This was after giving her husband a second chance o not knowing there was more to it. Also there had been frequent attacks(real physical stuff) before then and it was obvious where they were coming from.

Cases abound of a man's mistress trying to spiritually attack the wife(who may be religious) and her kids so as to scare them away or prevent the man from slipping away from her iron grip, these cases are real and these women are very desperate. I heard of a Pastor that left his house after more than 10yrs of marriage to go live with one of his assistants. The woman was ready to give him a second chance but he was not ready to go back and it was not ordinary.

So I am not saying that you should not give a cheating husband another chance but you have to be sure of the level of threat the other woman poses and if it is worth you fighting for the man. Not all such women go spiritual and it may have been a one night stand or something casual but be very sure and be very careful. Its not worth dying and leaving your children motherless over a man.

spikedcylinder:

Does he beat you?

Inked_Nerd:


And what if he doesn't "allow" her to work? Then what?

Inked_Nerd link=topic=528856.msg6912452#msg6912452 date=1286706707:

[size=11pt][font=times] I have little kids and nobody to look after them for me. and where we live women do go out like that as in Nigeria.
And what if he doesn't "allow" her to work? Then what?

Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Yes, they both can "be inc control" but it doesn't mean he should control her. She shouldn't have to walk on eggshells in her their own house.

I don't know am even afraid of spoiling any thing in the house because if I do it will be hell.I don't know what to do, I want to give my children the best of life but I feel so much headache because i think so much, nobody to help me he separates me from my family and friends. he still call me a loser.pls somebody help me and tell me what to do. every little thing I do pisses him off .