Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? - Family - Nairaland
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| Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by kafikac: 10:17am On Oct 10, 2010 |
I don’t know if am asking too much or is it not normal to feel free in my husband’s house, my husband use to tell me that I don’t have right in his house, not even the right to defend myself when he accuse me of what I did not do. he never want me to win any fight when we quarrel , he always want to prove me wrong in every little thing that happen in our house. He will tell me to accept that I am a fool , even when he is wrong he will fight and make me believe that I am the wrong one. It is too much that it is making me to feel so sick. If we fight and I did not say am sorry it is my fault he will not talk to me for a week. He will not talk to me but he will be very angry inside him for days even up to a week. |
| Re: Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by InkedNerd(f): 10:34am On Oct 10, 2010 |
My dear, this sounds like an abusive relationship. Has he always been like this or is this something he just started doing?  |
| Re: Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by Nobody: 10:55am On Oct 10, 2010 |
Sounds like you're married to a beast. Why would it always be "his house"? Your matrimonial home is yours too. From what you posted, it would appear he's a bully, he wants to dominate you in mind, body and soul. His putting you down makes him feel more of a man, covers up his own short comings. How long has he been this way, and how long do you think you'll put up with it? |
| Re: Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by Dyt(f): 11:00am On Oct 10, 2010 |
Mayb dats cos u rely on him in everyth u do,get ursef a job |
| Re: Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by sexy74(m): 11:18am On Oct 10, 2010 |
@ poster yes u can have a right in your husbands house if you knoe your righr. Have u evre asked yourself or wonderd why is it that your husband and u want to know who is always right? Stop thinking of who is right or wrong but learn to love your husband more. Dont think about perfection because there is non that is perfect. Talk less and try to listen more to your husband and forget trying to be equal to your man. Things will work out for the best if u know and understand your husband more. Wishing u the best as u move ahead in this union called marriage. |
| Re: Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by sms4health: 11:24am On Oct 10, 2010 |
Two of you can't both be in control. Learn and understand what sets him off and avoid them |
| Re: Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by InkedNerd(f): 11:31am On Oct 10, 2010 |
Dyt: And what if he doesn't "allow" her to work? Then what? sms4health: Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Yes, they both can "be in control" but it doesn't mean he should control her. She shouldn't have to walk on eggshells in her their own home. |
| Re: Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by spikedcylinder: 11:44am On Oct 10, 2010 |
Does he beat you?  |
| Re: Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by Nobody: 3:08pm On Oct 10, 2010 |
@ Sexy74 Isn't this just typical? If the marriage is not working the the woman is somehow not doing something right! Men!!! @ poster I think you married the wrong person! |
| Re: Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by Nobody: 3:12pm On Oct 10, 2010 |
poor you, your marital home shld not be an extension of your father's house. You shld have 100% freedom. Pele. you married a bully. |
| Re: Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by kafikac: 4:01pm On Oct 10, 2010 |
spikedcylinder:Yes he do beat when we quarrel and he finds out am right he get really mad and beat me. Even when am pregnant he do beat me. Inked_Nerd:I don't know am even afraid of spoiling any thing in the house because if I do it will be hell.I don't know what to do, I want to give my children the best of life but I feel so much headache because i think so much, nobody to help me he separates me from my family and friends. he still call me a loser.pls somebody help me and tell me what to do. every little thing I do pisses him off . |
| Re: Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by tjskii(f): 5:18pm On Oct 10, 2010 |
u need to do something and fast,physical and psychological abuse is not something to be taken lightly i think you need to let both his and your family members aware of the situation let them counsel him and see if he turns over a new leaf If he doesn't, i think you should consider the option of seperation,i know marriage is about endurance,but not to the point of putting ur life and that of ur kids at risk,staying with a violent man. Do you have a job? If you don't try to get yourself one,or start some form of business,no matter how small. There are also some NGOs in Nigeria that support women in your situation,who could be of assistance I'm not saying seperation or divorce is the final solution, i just want you to consider it as a plan B,if all else fails I wish you all the best |
| Re: Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by InkedNerd(f): 8:59pm On Oct 10, 2010 |
kafikac: My dear, this is an abusive relationship. The best thing to do is to leave him--quickly!!! Its only a matter of time before his anger escalates. You wanting a good life for your children is no reason to become his physical and verbal punching bag. What sort of example would you be teaching your children if they see your husband beating and belittling you? And suppose he starts to abuse the children as well? Please for your safety and the well being of your children, you MUST leave!!! The things you have described are the characteristics of an abusive partner. I truly fear for you right now. You need to find some way to get out of this and reclaim your life. I know often times things like this are taken lightly in Nigeria but you must do something immediately. Please use the information that tjskii has provided and please take a look at this link as well if/when you decide to leave: (1) http://www.valueoptions.com/suicide_prev/html%20pages/What%20Can%20I%20Do%20If%20I%20Am%20in%20an%20Abusive%20Relationship.htm (2) http://www.ehow.com/how_5092072_escape-relationship-middle-night-unnoticed.html Please take a look at this link. It has a LOT of the characteristics that you have described: (1) http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm |
| Re: Is It Wrong To Have Right In My Husband’s House? by spikedcylinder: 11:44am On Oct 11, 2010 |
kafikac: Awww, I am so sorry to hear this. Is there anyone you can report him to? Like your pastor or a senior person in his family or his mother? Or do you reckon it'll make things worse?  |
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