BentizilL0:
From the chat and everything, it can be deduced that you don't love that lady..
Shey dem marry am give you?
@Kyng1

We dated for two years and a month, until she got pregnant Nov last month. When she for pregnant, that was the end of my peace at home, every blessed day she kept pressuring me for marriage which I normally gives her same answer that "I wasn't ready for marriage" but she never backed down, day and night she quarrels me and even attempted suicide countless numbers of times, her suicide attempts normally leads to me struggling with her to stop her, I'd struggle endlessly to stop her, if I manage to take the rope from her, she'd go for a rope and use it to tie her neck very tightly until she's coughing and spitting. What next? She started drinking tiles wash and hype. I thank God Almighty that nothing happened to her those period, she pressured me endlessly and my answers remain same, the told me that only a man that doesn't love a woman would say he's not ready for marriage that no man that's not ready for marriage, I then told her that yes I don't love you which you're very much aware of, I have 0% love for you and I can't marry someone that I don't love, but still she didn't back down the pressure was endlessly, until I agreed to do the marriage. What even caused this our quarrel was still about the marriage, I was said, down and depressed thinking my life that I would have still been single and enjoying life to the fullest or if possible that I'm married, would have been with someone that I loved, I wrote her on whatsapp pouring out my frustration about how she pressured me into marriage and destroyed my life, that was what caused the quarrel.

fairy88:



So the "My World you use in saving her name to post it, I believe you just saved it so you can screenshot and post in public then later you change it back to what whatever sad name you call her,

You don't love and you dey f√ck
Inukwa?

How old are you?

This boy no go pass 19 years
And I believe the woman is older than him

I didn't saved it, she saved it herself.
I'm 29 she's 24

PulsingPurple:
Listen to me brother.
Be a man, a real man!

1. This chat shouldn't be shown online like this
2. You ought to think thoroughly before responding to your woman. Think of how your response will affect her emotionally, both now and in the future.
I know now many times I've swallowed my anger, only to realize later that it wasn't even a big problem.
3. You have to make plans to accommodate the fact that she is a woman. She may say what she doesn't mean, throw tantrum and all that, the first job of the man is to stay composed. For better for worse right?
4. The only emotion you're allowed to have towards a woman is love. Don't display anger or hate, don't cry or nag, just do what is right and wait to see her calm again and apologizing.
5. You have to be the best for her. Outdo everything she expects of you, according to your capacity of course. Don't be a jagajaga husband no matter how jagajaga your wife may seem.


Much to say but I can't even think straight, I'm pained by such conversation... I couldn't even read all.

Now swallow that pride and get her one of her favorites. Make her happy.
Explain to her that you're just human and will try to be better for her and that she should try too.
You both should swallow pride and be sincere. Write out the ways you plan to improve, tell her to write hers also. Then you both work on it, helping each other.

Many of us here run a successful marriage.
But we never tell you that success is measured by the errors avoided, not by the problems avoided.

You're right but I wasn't in anyway ready for marriage before I married her and the love isn't there too, I guess that's why I'm angry, frustrated and pained. We dated for two years and a month, until she got pregnant Nov last month. When she for pregnant, that was the end of my peace at home, every blessed day she kept pressuring me for marriage which I normally gives her same answer that "I wasn't ready for marriage" but she never backed down, day and night she quarrels me and even attempted suicide countless numbers of times, her suicide attempts normally leads to me struggling with her to stop her, I'd struggle endlessly to stop her, if I manage to take the rope from her, she'd go for a rope and use it to tie her neck very tightly until she's coughing and spitting. What next? She started drinking tiles wash and hype. I thank God Almighty that nothing happened to her those period, she pressured me endlessly and my answers remain same, the told me that only a man that doesn't love a woman would say he's not ready for marriage that no man that's not ready for marriage, I then told her that yes I don't love you which you're very much aware of, I have 0% love for you and I can't marry someone that I don't love, but still she didn't back down the pressure was endlessly, until I agreed to do the marriage. What even caused this our quarrel was still about the marriage, I was said, down and depressed thinking my life that I would have still been single and enjoying life to the fullest or if possible that I'm married, would have been with someone that I loved, I wrote her on whatsapp pouring out my frustration about how she pressured me into marriage and destroyed my life, that was what caused the quarrel.

Auxtan:
Oga your wife is simply a good woman. You are just the problem. I have gone through your profile and saw where you even had sex with a prostitute and got infected. You have probably not seen your wives under in months and your wife is obviously constantly frustrated by your lack of care towards her. Your wife was simply angry as any human being can be and passed a wrong message out of the anger you obviously propelled. She couldn't have threatened to kill you of you didn't say something very bitter and heavy towards her. That she is your wife doesn't make her your puppet or your slave. You married her because your loved her or so you could live with her forever, why now frustrate her? You're the man of the family and it is expected you take the back seat when things get very heated because as a man you should be more intelligent and you should know that anything can escalate to what nobody would wish for their home. I see you might no longer find your wife attractive which is normal for some partners after many years marriage or fvcking the same pvssy, but please try to pretend to still find her attractive as before and above all love your wife because she became your other half that moment your exchanged vows with her on the alter. Loving your wife is like loving yourself because you can never ignore whatever that is going on her end, her problems are yours and yours are hers. Be wise. Sometimes let go of your manly ego and allow her say all her rubbish because that is naturally her 95% of women show they are hurt. Your duty is to after her blabbing in a cool and lovely way talk sense into her, she will 100% listen and take corrections. Don't mind what redpill idiots say online. Love your wife and appreciate the fact she is your home maker. Without her you would have no children that makes up a home neither would you have in most cases anyone to care for your kids and inculcate values into then. BE WISE AND DON'T BE FOOLISH!

We dated for two years and a month, until she got pregnant Nov last month. When she for pregnant, that was the end of my peace at home, every blessed day she kept pressuring me for marriage which I normally gives her same answer that "I wasn't ready for marriage" but she never backed down, day and night she quarrels me and even attempted suicide countless numbers of times, her suicide attempts normally leads to me struggling with her to stop her, I'd struggle endlessly to stop her, if I manage to take the rope from her, she'd go for a rope and use it to tie her neck very tightly until she's coughing and spitting. What next? She started drinking tiles wash and hype. I thank God Almighty that nothing happened to her those period, she pressured me endlessly and my answers remain same, the told me that only a man that doesn't love a woman would say he's not ready for marriage that no man that's not ready for marriage, I then told her that yes I don't love you which you're very much aware of, I have 0% love for you and I can't marry someone that I don't love, but still she didn't back down the pressure was endlessly, saying if she doesn't have me then no one else will that she always goes for what she loves and won't ever give up. The pressure was endlessly until I agreed to do the marriage. What even caused this our quarrel was still about the marriage, I was said, down and depressed thinking my life that I would have still been single and enjoying life to the fullest or if possible that I'm married, would have been with someone that I loved, I wrote her on whatsapp pouring out my frustration about how she pressured me into marriage and destroyed my life, that was what caused the quarrel.

ogashman:


So y u come marry her when the love wasn't there in the first place?

No wonder u dey treat her badly..

U could have just waited for her to deliver ur baby, and take it after nurturing period is over.

I am sorry this back and forth go still continue....

Don't u know that pregnancy make women misbehave?

I wonder wetin u go do when u hear the one she go tell u for labour room during her labour.

During the period she learnt she was pregnant, there was no peace for me, she was pressuring me daily about marriage, I told her I wasn't in anyway ready to marry, not even in my wildest imagination, but she didn't listen, she knows 200% that I don't love her one bit, but she kept on pressuring me about the marriage, it came to a point that she began threatening me with suicide daily, every day threat, she'd drank tiles wash, hypo etc. I thank God Almighty nothing happened to her then. I couldn't take it any longer, I later bowed to her endless daily pressure and agreed to marry her.

spice123:
First of OP;
The duty and responsibility of a husband is to love his wife no matter what.

You failed there.....

Marriage is not for the faint-hearted. You as a man really need to be matured both in mind and attitude. A wife is the reflection of what her husband is.

All women have bad mouth. No exception! But for a woman to go to the extent of threatening your life, hmmm you're in danger. You need to retrace your steps man.

That unborn child should not be experiencing this crualty between you and your wife. Put your house in order.

I have tried all I can to put things in order but nothing and absolutely nothing seems to be working. The love isn't there, I married her after she got pregnant, I was manipulated and pressured into the marriage, she was threatening me with suicide on a daily basis, there was no peace for me, I was left with no choice than to bow to her pressure, so I proceeded with the marriage.

RoyalBlu:


Now you're talking.

If really you're doing all these things to her, she's only trying to make you realize you'll see pepper if anything should happen to the baby.

She went overboard with her choice of words no doubt. But then...
Pregnancy comes with a whole lot of package. Your choice of words clearly shows you don't even understand this.

I didn't expected such words from her, it came as a shock to me, reason for the outburst.

Zonefree:

Don't marry a woman out of pity...you'll live to regret it for the rest of your life.

I learnt this great lesson very lately, shortly after my marriage. This quote is a fact that can never be erased, unfortunately that's what I'm currently going through, daily endless pains and regret, wishing to turn back the hands of time.

Nice2023:
U are simply not a good man to that woman.

I started feeling bad from the way and manner u may have frustrated that lady.

Is it even a crime to be a wife.

Treat that woman well,a breastfeeding mother at that.

Stop using curse words on ur wife and family...u are the head of the home. I wonder what would make a man to tell his wife to go and Bleep stone.

Apologise to her and start making your marriage work.

I blame u for everything because u don't know ur role as the Head. I have never abused my wife of 9years not even by mistake.

Seriously,I don't know how u guys are doing it.

Lastly,do not destroy ur home...rather rediscover yourself and make amends to make ur marriage work.

I blame ur wife for exchanging words with u in such a tensed situations.

This,I will say here is exactly what I will tell my brother/son in the absence of his wife.

Be a good man my brother.

Good luck to u as u guys amend and live in harmony thereafter.

You've never insulted your wife of 9 years, that's because the love is there, reverse is actually the case for me. She got pregnant and manipulated me into marrying her even though she clearly and 100% knew I don't love her, but still she threatened me with suicide that I must marry her, I initially bowed to pressure and after marriage, anger, frustration, pains of being with someone I don't love and not even sexually attracted to set in. The way I'm treating her, I don't even know when and how it always occur, I'm just filled with anger. I have a wife at home but still I waste up to 10k extremely frequently sleeping with prostitutes. All boils down to the fact that I'm not sexually attracted to her.

Ahmed0336:
Come o, why are you frustrating her?
Preg women use to act funny, you'd need to bear with her.

U sure say U ready for marriage like dis

I wasn't ready boss, her pregnancy lead to the marriage, I wasn't in anyway ready. The love isn't there also.

RoyalBlu:


How about you post what you said that led to that statement from her.

That woman is 8 months pregnant for God's sake.

She sounds so tortured. My goodness!!!

It's because of the baby, that I'm frustrating her and she might have complications that she has landed on the hospital 4 times now because of me and it's affecting her baby that if anything should happen to the baby after her antinental scan on Friday which is tomorrow, she'd send me to the afterlife.

TerrouMuda:
She has Apologised baba.
If she aren't pregnant, I will be wondering where her frustration is coming from.
She just need your love and care for her and the babe that all.
Please forgive her just this time. She has learnt her lesson but next time she makes a comment like that, boot her ass out.

And remember she promised to dey bomb facebook for you oh all day.

Lol, tank's boss... I will do as you say, thank you.

brain54:

And she wasn't angry...?

Didn't your foul words make her loose herself too.

You both are guilty of the same doings!

I would never make such a threat no matter the frustration.

ekineme:
Ogar go and stay at home with your wife. Women can do/say anything to catch your attention, you think it's easy to carry another life for 9 month? She is clearly depressed and showing signs of desperation a little love from you would have doused the tension and make her calm.
Try and be showing your wife love with words of reaffirmation. when you know you won't be available as a man talk her into understanding and you will enjoy your home.
I understand some women can be cligy but that's part of the package you ordered know how to manage her and refurbish her to that ideal wife it's your responsibility don't be a failure, leave Nairaland and man up, save your family, no one is after your life except yourself.

I will be going home any moment from now, to be brutally honest I was with a prostitute throughout the night in an hotel, ever since her stomach got protruded having sex with her seems irritating to me.


But tank's for your words, and advise.

DevilsEqual:


E don enter am
Those Cococ.... and others will come for his head today

Dem go finish am

Man uses foul language on his wife as if shes his rented slave

I pray someone doesn't threaten to take your someday, foul language would be a child's play on what you'd have done.

DevilsEqual:
Omo... see vile and bile

Fear catch me

Na so marriage dey be


OP, there are more experienced people here on NL, dem go guide you through

BUt going by her last messages, it shows she may not mean all that but then threat to life

I confuse o

I'm so confuse as well, from her text she meant it, now saying it's a joke.

madridguy:
You are not a good husband too for constantly using foul languages for your wife. Check yourself bro.

I was angry, the word she said make me loose myself.

More..

More....

Good morning Nairalanders, last night I and my wife was having some arguments and she threatened to take my life and send me to the afterlife and later start apologizing endlessly saying it's a joke, she has called hundreds of missed calls but I haven't been able to pick up as I'm hell bent to do what's on my mind, which is sending her back to her parents house. The threat still rings a bell on my head until this very moment, and I don't think I'd be able to comfortably live with her under same roof again. See screenshot below of the threat and her apologies claiming it's a joke.

More

More

Good morning Nairalanders, last night I and my wife was having some arguments and she threatened to take my life and send me to the afterlife and later start apologizing endlessly saying it's a joke, she has called hundreds of missed calls but I haven't been able to pick up as I'm hell bent to do what's on my mind, which is sending her back to her parents house. The threat still rings a bell on my head until this very moment, and I don't think I'd be able to comfortably live with her under same roof again. See screenshot below of the threat and her apologies claiming it's a joke.

happney65:


Some of you that just started reading the news in the era of SM. The Govornor can dethrone all the above mentioned names and nothing will happen

Absolutely NOTHING.

I guess you don't know Awolowo dethroned the former Alaafin of Oyo. I guess you don't know.

Interesting, I have learnt something new today...

Landlord

Omo, wahala.... They'll surely blame Israel....

Christ, Jesus.

drmikeadams:




Am happy u acknowledged u were not ready

Because the two of u are not serious.
You sef try get friends wey dey smoke weed,them go give u opinion.
Cos I for no even allow u go into that waste of funds,time and resources u called marriage

I'm still regretting, until date. I wish I could turn back the hands of time, unfortunately I can't.

eventainment:
Lol 😆. There is something you guys aren't seeing. Everyone is a protagonist in their own story, im not saying he is wrong but I'm saying from his angle he is absolutely right: relative truth. From analyzing the story you be man way no de gree for anybody; anyhow e come you go give them back! It's obvious you were lured but I think there has been a bitter blood between you and the family before marriage all thanks to your wife too. But I wonder what you preach to people about her as well. You are now married you have to settle all bad bloods and start anew. Quarrels and fights doesn't solve problems and please learn to stop reacting at everything. The best way to enjoy a woman even the devil( terrible woman) is to not respond to their talks if you keep up with that you'll see that her own talks will reduce. A fight of 3hrs means it's an exchange of words within those periods but if you keep quiet the quarrel will not pass 5mins. No be who throw jabs pass na win argument but na who allow the other person fool himself. I don't talk at all I just take actions. Now for the feeding aspect although you are feeling robbed you have to care for your wife and your unborn child. So get busy with even the ones you can't do on a norm.. And settle down and talk to your woman! You can chase 10,000 together. People asking for divorce are not wise. Women are all demons in my eyes just look for the one you can tame and live with her. And your woman is just bitter cause it's obvious that you Mr Daniel can say hurtful words and women are moved by words. So put your house in order and be man... Call her mum and apologise and allow the remaining sibling to come to their senses naturally. Treat her well and things will start working for you again. Remember you are now one..

Thank you so very much for your input, I will do as you've instructed. But I won't call her mom and apologize to her.

On Tuesday after settling scores with her elder sister "see screenshot above, I uploaded it few minutes ago" that insulted me massively on the traditional marriage day, I wanted to post the screenshot of the money I sent to her mom and upload it on my status and also making sure that she's the only one that would view it.

And then narrate all she did, from deceiving me to provide the drinks that they're supposed to provide and then I'd be the one to double it, to the issue of the rice which she prepared with my chicken, groundnut Oil, ingredients, etc and then lying and falling my hand in front of my family and friends. The only thing that I'd have changed in the story is my name, I'd have used the name Stephen and at then ended my narration with Stephen is foolish, was played and manipulated, don't be like Stephen. She will definitely know that I'm talking to her and talking about her, but I'd have gotten enough satisfaction from that. I pray I don't do it anytime soon.

dacool1:
How was your relationship with her family before pregnancy, was it cordial or not. Well you caused some of these things directly or indirectly. No woman likes being told by their man especially after pregnancy matter, that he isn't ready for marriage.

As a man you didn't plan well for life after wedding, who are you trying to impress. You had 4million plus and you spent everything on a two day event just to prove what?

You feel regrets because you don't think you were appreciated enough.

Everyone involved get hin own fault. You were not manipulated, it's the normal thing to do. Get someone pregnant and get married simple. If it were you daughter how would you feel if the man doesn't feel like getting married to your daughter?

Well here is my advice, you can either get off this ship or steer the ship. If this story of yours if fairly told, you are in for a hot and bumpy married life. All women are manipulators, if you leave this one the next one might be worse. It requires serious wisdom in this issue.

Most times women don't mean what they say, it's just the way they feel at the moment. At 24, your wife is a baby who thinks like a child. The only concern I have is her parents, reconcile with her family, not because you are weak but for peace sake and for your future safety.

After reconciliation, then gradually begin to withdraw, and never let your wife know why.

See man up and postpone whatever plans you have until your wife has safely delivered. Now is not the time to put her under pressure. They already have a case of domestic violence against you. It even happened on your wedding night. If anything happens to that girl and ur child, you will regret it for the rest of you life. Forget red pill o. Keep her calm and calm the tensed situation.

After recovery from birth you can now reassess the situation, my only concern is her parents and family, and finally, make sure you conduct a DNA test, this story get as e be.

I initially wanted to do only traditional marriage to save cost, but her mother refused. But I know better now, there isn't any decision that I'd make from low henceforth and it won't stand. I'm wiser now, thank you for your input, I will 100% heed to your advice, thank you, I greatly appreciate.

ChybuzzDD:


Do you actually need your bride price to be returned before you can effect a divorce??

Which kind man you be self?? Look at someone that should have walked out of the traditional marriage immediately he and his family were first insulted!

A real and normal man shouldn't have gone ahead to complete that useless ceremony in the face of those insults and disrespect.

You sheepishly went ahead and performed the ceremony amidst such level of insults and are now complaining about not having visited your mannerless and disrespectful mother inlaw and her saucy and ill-trained children!

Which mother inlaw? Do you think you have a mother inlaw You think you're married? You're not married, young man! You're still bloodily single, FYI!

Where are you from self . None of my soons should be like you, abeg!

Nawaoo!

You're right, until day I absolutely wished I could turn back the hands of time, I would have walked out of the ground on that day. You're a mind reader, until date I still haven't forgiven myself for not backing down. I really don't know what held me back, I think it's probably because of my father's people that came from afar, they'd never forget the humiliation. I mean, after bringing them from afar, and later walking out of them.

It still hurt me until date that I didn't, but two days ago I pounced on my wife sister that disrespected me on whatsapp, I will attach a screenshot to this response.

intruder15:


In all of this, please ensure to do a paternity test on the baby secretly. E get why.

Exactly what my younger brother told me, I sure will... Thank you 🙏