Stats: 3,186,936 members, 7,931,265 topics. Date: Sunday, 25 August 2024 at 08:35 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Lallafati's Profile / Lallafati's Posts
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I have been an avid reader on here for over a year now. I am originally from Congo but I was raised with a very open mind and with friends from all over the africa so truly most people can never guess until I tell them. I am panafricanist at heart and consider myself african before anything else (and more then specifically coming from a particular country). My cultural contributions today, Lingala is the language mostly used in congo, its used as a venacular language for communication purposes (at the market etc etc) and is a watered-down and "frenchized" version of the original Lingala spoken Bangala people in the north of the country. There are over 400 dialects in kongo with 5 main tribes. My family is from the Kongo or Bakongo (who speak kikongo) tribe which gaves its name to the country. We also belong to a smaller tribe inside the bigger kongo tribe, called the bayombe (and they speak kiyombe). Because we were first colonized by the portguguese alot of words derived or similar to portuguese words are part of lingala, kikongo and kiyombe. Examples: In lingala we say mesa = table portuguese is mesa sapatu = shoes sapato kopo= cup/glass copo/copa and some english, we say miliki for milk. I'll come back with the bakongo/kongo tribe influences on brazilian culture and music as 40% of the slaves that entered brazil were kikongo speakers. Happy New Year!!! |
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Please take some time and watch those episodes of the "I didnt know I was pregnant" show from the american Discovery Health Channel. A woman can be pregnant til the time she delivers and never knows it. It is rare but it sure happens. Anybody who states that it doesnt need to open up their minds. http://health.discovery.com/tv/i-didnt-know-i-was-pregnant/ And by the way the periods they have during their pregnancy are not "true period" they are more like "regular" and heavy spotting. |
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Onchedu: ![]() |
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kpolli: You are not serious! Would you tell her that if she was ur sister? Come on! How can u support anybody who wants to have sex randomly? But like poster said, because a bear is hibernating doesn't mean it has stopped being a bear. She hasn't change one bit, just pretending, so let her real nature take over! ![]() |
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bece: too funny ![]() ![]() |
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LOVE.4BUG: ![]() |
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LOVE.4BUG: Angola? most def, i know ppl from there as well. Most places in Africa aren't like that tho even tho ppl are trying hard to copy something that doesn't belong to our culture. Very sad anyways that women's self-respect has gone so much out the door that some ppl can even describe/open up abt their private sexual life on a public forum. ![]() |
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ohaechesi: Have you gone/lived to all these places and know 100% that it's the generally accepted way of doing things: Considering a girl as being mature and ready for marriage after procreation at home? I do agree that some african societies are maybe "more liberated" which in my vocabulary is not a good thing, but the bolded part is certainly not true. Some of the places u have cited are actually even more conservative. |
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dokwesi:Dokwesi, thank you. Just tryin to my best ![]() ![]() |
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Poster, u really need to grow up. For 1, you talk too much, you could have kept your dirty laundry to yourself. Second, when u change, and the change in you is true, and coming from within and not just superficial, then ur actions speak for that change regardless of the circumstances. Don't mind what people say and pls carry yourself like a lady (or at least try), with dignity and respect and stop thinking like a hoe. That man is not yours. But like you said, Just because the bear is hibernating doesn't mean it has stopped been a bear!, so maybe you still the same and havent changed after all. ![]() |
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Onchedu, beautiful, just beautiful ![]() |
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I love it when a man knows not to step over the friendship boundary but can still be very sweet and give me his undivided attention ![]() I love it when a man can dance ![]() ![]() |
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BabaRamo: ![]() ![]() |
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Not long ago after I got here, I was traveling by bus and I met a nigerian man, he had to be at least 50. He was sitting by me so we struck up a conversation. He was coming from the small city in which I lived then, for a court meeting that would decide whether or not he was gonna go to jail. He was several years behind on his child support and hadnt seen his kids in a long time who by the way were already in college and were over 18. The guy had lost his driver's license and therefore unable to drive and get a job (he was even tired of working because of the proportion of his earnings that was going to child support). Was still paying back child support that had accumulated over the years, while the kids were fine, working with a life of their own, and their mother already remarried and enjoying life, in addition to receiving the monthly cash that was coming from the poor guy's hands. I felt so sorry for the man who had to be at least my dad's age and I was trying to imagine his head full of dreams when he had first come to this country still in the strength of his youth over 25 years ago. ![]() 2 Likes |
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Travelista: Very true. A good friend of mine was deported a few years ago because of a situation like this. He came here on a student visa and ended up not being able to pay for school, had to work 60 hours a week (illegally) and was still late on his schools payments, was feeding on bread and water and just gave up, as a result lost his legal status. This white girl was all over him for a long time and he didnt want anything from her other than maybe friendship. She insisted, and he thought why not give it a try since he was stuck anyways. Turns out the girl had 2 kids before from a previous marriage, the ex-husband doing drugs and basically being a loser. They married and were fine until he started taking care of everything including the 2 kids. He tried his best and his wife was happy for once in her life as were the kids. But the father of the kids became jealous of his ex-wife (who he used to beat) being happy with an african man who had a job and was responsible. He basically manipulated the kids into rebelling against my friend. And he is the kind who "doesn't take $hit from anybody", so very soon that became a big issue. One of the kids, the older who was a boy accused my friend of abusing him. What actually happened was that in the midst of those many morning drama with the kids refusing to get ready to go to school and whining and fussing my friend lost patience once and cornered the little boy but didnt raise his hands on him as I was told. Anyways, this ended up in court with domestic abuse charges finally being dropped by the wife. This incident slowed the process for his green card, and in the midst of all that, the tension that the strained relationship with the kids took his toll on the marriage, the wife finally wrote a letter stating her intent not to "sponsor" her husband anymore (after she finally got job after not working for 2 years). He received a deportation letter through the mail months later but had moved so never was aware of it. Finally 2 immigration officers showed up at his door 4 years later, on a thursday morning, disguised as pizza delivery guys. He spent 3 weeks in a detention center in located in a regular maximum security prison and was deported after 8 years in this country. Sad story, 1 Like |
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Ivory coast has definitely been cheated almost all the way thru ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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TaniCarr: TaniCarr: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() @Tanicarr, thanks for the details but would you mind turning down the heat? Am I the only one who is thinking that's a lil bit too much ![]() ![]() |
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@poster, the wording of ur thread is certainly not a neutral question. Looks like u already have ur answer so why do you ask? ![]() Can't judge a religion what by what certain ppl who claim to be of that religion do. |
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Pweety4me: ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Onchedu: Exactly my thoughts. |
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Faher: Conceided. Control is paramount. |
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Pweety4me: I read that, but what if u did? let's replace sis by cousin or best friend? |
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Faher: Not to the point where u can't think straight and it makes u almost lose control ![]() |
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Pweety4me: Red? thats too mild, probably dark green ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Pweety4me: LOL that would probably wake me right up ![]() |
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I don't understand women who let whatever is in between their legs take over them. S3x is not everything. The husband can't do it or does not want to then suck it up. If she is so much of a christian she should let herself be filled with things that are honorable instead of lusting after he ex. What reasonable, mature, responsible woman who claims to be a christian lets herself overwhelmed like that like a 17 yo little girl simply coz her husband does not wanna have oral s3x with her? Nonsense! ![]() 1 Like |
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Wooo, ![]() Well, would try to keep my composure, and ask them to excuse me for interrupting, will turn around and call the police and have them charged for trespassing. They can both forget my numba. Very theoretical though, really dont know how I would react ![]() |
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African_queen: ![]() |
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African_queen:Although I agree with some of ur post, I would beg to disagree with the bolded part. African Americans are def very different from Africans. And the accent is certainly a minor difference. The mentality is very different as is the behavior, the ambitions (or lack of), the lifestyle and all that. I am speaking in general of course. Now it is true that past the cultural and societal differences we are all fundamentally so similar in our aspirations, hopes, dreams and struggles as human beings. @Poster, nothing wrong with claiming yours your African ancestry. Being african is a state of mind. You are what you believe you are and feel free to embrace it! |
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daduke2k: Nahh u just stay at the mixing table and get the place heated up. I have a song request dj duke ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Stick with him if you know he loves you. That's your role as a girlfriend - be there for him. Hopefully he is a responsible and mature individual who is trying all he can to get a job. Encourage him and praise his efforts. Please do never make him feel inadequate. If and when you wanna do something for him don't wait for him to ask if you know what he needs, and don't mention things that you have done for him - he knows. Hopefully he will treat you well when things get better but remember you're doing this out of love not because of a future act of gratefulness. Spend your money wisely and plan accordingly. Things will be okay. Pray and believe. And please close your eyes and ears to any other suitor because desperation or being discouraged might lead you into temptation, but if you close your heart and your mind, you will be fine. Focus on the wonderful things that you both have in your relationship and hopefully this situation can lead both of you to enjoy simple things and quality time that does not involve things that money can buy. Another thing, don't go around mentioning his situation to your friends or family members, I mean don't complain about it, just keep quiet and be discrete. This will make you stronger. That's what being a woman is about: carrying on with dignity and faithfulness when things are not rosy and having her man's back no matter what. |
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My mom always told me at least 5 years, at most 10 and I totally agree with that. Don't see myself with somebody my age, 7 years older than me is actually ideal. But really 3-10 years is fine. It all depends on the guy. The more mature the better and although age does not necessarily equal maturity, the older do tend to be more mature and know what they want out of a relationship a little clearer. |
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