Lmao, monster ke! No oo, not like that! she's christian

Najyin:


Hmmmm..... The guy should be close to being a monster then. By the way, is she a Christian or a Muslim cos I can see your monicker carries a Muslim name.

You know when the entire physical attributes of a person does not appeal to you? That's how she explained it. Even before agreeing to anything with him, she is already having doubts of herself which is not a good thing.

Najyin:
Can the op tell us what physical attraction she was actually referring to. Was the guy ugly, short, smelly, rough or everything joined together. Or what precisely ?

why?

teeowl:
I pity the guy and NOT the girl.

I must say that I am also learning a lot, please keep them coming. Sincere appreciation to you all!!

Please there is no need for harsh words and verbal attacks, no one knows it all. Thanks

Hmm!

holyFRED:
Dear if you want the rainbow,you have to deal with the rain....

There is a catch to the story I forgot to mention. She was introduced to him (paired) so it started from a blind date.

Eberex:


So you know, when two people meet each other, there is first of all a physical attraction; i consider this the first thing on the list. Then comes compatibility; number two. If they find themselves compatible then they can go into being friends, that's where friendship comes in; number three.

With these three qualities, lets now have a scenario.

scenario 1: these two people continue without falling in love.

scenario 2: these two people continue and fall in love with each other.

Tell me the difference on the long run.

N/B: Love cannot die if it was real.

Sir, I am just helping a friend out so I think I will rather you speak with her outside nairaland if she is willing, I will ask.. I will get back to you, really appreciate your concern.

one question please, are you married or have been in this situation in the past? Thank You

ADESTALK:
@LOOKMANTALK,

I am passionate about this. I will like us to have full discussion on this - off this platform. You can reach me through adesholly04@gmail.com.

All things being equal, if this situation is not handle carefully, attraction can easy fade away even in most gorgeous man on earth.

she does not want someone that the world admires but someone she herself admires and finds attractive. I am telling you this lady is a good lady.

sunsewa:
Those that has fail marriage, most times are physically attractive men,because they are always under the seductive nature and pressures of Jezebel's. so better for u to brace up with God fearing man with a future.

To her, the guy just has a face and even his physic does not appeal to her.. Came across as irrelevant to me too but on second thought, I understand her concern

shiinihost:


i bet you that guy that is dying for her is handsome. She just needs a never-do-well that is ready to treat her like trash. Girls love being treated like trash.

she does not see him as weak and sex has not in any way been mentioned here. Only physical attraction is the problem, please take note!

she does not sleep around and is a devoted Christian..

shiinihost:


good. now from the original post, you would understand that the girl and the man actually do have some kind of attraction. She says she loves his character, she says he understands her that is why they've being friends for long.

I think the ishh here is his physical appearance or his nicety. They girl sees him as weak and so is not physically attracted to him and does not feel he's someone she would have great sex with.

Hmm! At least you were physically attracted to the wife you eventually married? true?

ProfessorPeter:
a lady dumped me because of this same excuse married to a man she 'love' and ' have a feeling for him' today, she is divorced with four children and am doing well with my beautiful wife. The question is what do you really want, a husband or a man?

Very true, I appreciate your comment. But we cannot ignore the importance of physical attraction. You know if you are attracted to someone, even if the world says that person is ugly, their opinion wont matter to you one single bit... Agree?

She does not keep a large circle of friends and is not that outgoing so the idea of wanting to show her man off like a trophy is clearly not the case here

shiinihost:


attraction mustn't be physical. Values and interests build stronger attraction than just physique. According to her, she says they have common interests and are very good friends. And since when has your husband turn to some trophy of sort?

Hmm... So you tried tushing him up, please can you elaborate on the things you did? or at least some of them? does this mean you were not able to or he just was not tushable? or no matter how you tried, the attraction did not just come?

You made a point which my friend raised too, that ever since they have been speaking, she still cannot bring herself to be attracted to him.. I know this lady to be reasonable, responsible and God fearing which is the reason why she does not want to 'manage' and turn a blind eye to the fact that she is not physically attracted to him as it might be a problem in future because for her once she gets married, it is for life. she wants to be content with her man as she recognises married life is not smooth

daraj:
I will give you my candid advice from experience don't marry someone you are not attracted to or is not physically attractive just because he is God fearing, I made the same mistake thinking I will Behind him up.. but it just didn't happen and i couldn't even introduce him to my friends or family and could not bring myself to love him I eventually had to leave him. So please think carefully before making any decision.

They are not dating. They have just been good friends and have been considering and speaking about being in a relationship/settling down for a while.

ogaprime:


I want to know if she was attracted to him when they both started dating and later on the attraction vanished OR she didn't feel de attraction right from beginning??

Then how old is de relationship

Just had a phone call from my female friend, she is also now reading all your comments. Says Thank you to everybody.

Me too I say 'Thank you People'.. Especially the experienced (married) ones, no disrespect to the singles!

This is the major reason why she is confused. she says from her observations of him and what she knows of hi qualities, he will give her the longevity in marriage that she desires. However, her problem is herself, since she is not physically attracted to him that it might become a problem in the near future and the last thing she wants is to manage her marriage. She desires to be content with whoever she ends with and not manager because he is God fearing..

StPete:
Just as much as ladies face this kind of decision, so do men. However, do not just pick for physical appearance, pick for longevity.

No she is not dumb, thank you. Appreciate your contribution

harristo:


Is she dumb? People pray they don't lose interest in their partner after marriage, yet she is considering marrying someone she has no interest in even before marriage. Funny.

suit yourself sir, you don't have to believe. thank you

snowprince07:
Picture of d girl & d brother or i dont belive u

her major concern is the physical attraction, she just isn't satisfied or comfortable when they meet family together. it is a major bother to her as she says she wants to always confidently show off her man and it doesn't mean she is looking for the finest guy, just someone that appeals to her (Her Words). Get it?

LadyJul:
Seriously we gals don't know what we want...
we see sincere young men with good character...yet we still aren't attracted to Dem...but we get attracted to the bad guys who don't even give a fu*k abt us....we tend to friend zone the gud guys most times and date d bad players...I still don't understand why it's like dis for most gals

Your reasons please.. It is just the physical attraction that is her major concern. she says she doesn't mind dealing with every other imperfection as she is not perfect herself. But she is not just physically attracted to him in anyway

mommyice:
No don't marry him, cos if u do, i see disaster ready to happen!

Not neccessarily

femi4:
She wants a bad guy....Qed!

I apologise

faith551:



Uncle I no be sister, I be brother. One thing that confines us to where we are is because we always believe that something better is not out there, looks can be deceiving, I wonder what it will look like living with a God fearing lady I dnt have any attraction whatsoever for 10years

lol

kay9:


Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but yours is just terrible. If the man is question was your brother, would you give this advice? Or better still, how about a guy keeps you close.. You know, just keep you close but not necessarily date you o, just keep you close. Yeah, very good idea, if I say so myself.

You will have just kept your comment to yourself

Demigods:
Rubbish

My sister I can confidently tell you that she is mature hence the reason for even considering him.. God fearing man no easy to come by o! if you agree with me. Thanks

faith551:
She is not going to marry "God fearing" she's going to marry a man, have kids with him and spend her life with him, physical attraction should be a major player in marriage.
If she's matured, she shouldn't be having problems with such issues

I had a very interesting discussion with a female friend and she told me that she is in a dilemma on whether to marry a certain brother.. these are her reasons

1= He is ready to marry her although well behaved but she is not attracted to him physically and is not sure if she will ever see pass this... she said she will not be proud or comfortable showing him off as her partner

2= she only feels she likes him because he has the fear of God, has future prospects but she will rather keep him as her friend

She does not need him for any form of financial security but says she is confused and needs advise especially from married people, she does not want to go through any marital breakup

Open to all, please advise

This lesson from the poster's story cannot be overemphasised but sadly enough, I tell you people that some ladies that are reading will still not take heed and they will still make this same mistake.

So much to say regarding this topic but i'll just leave it at the above. They say 'A Word' is enough for the wise.

Many times I wonder where the Love our parents displayed back in the days have gone, when they loved purely from the heart with no material attraction attached. My father was still in the university when she met my 'hustling' father with no car, small money and what have you although handsome but she said she looked beyond that, that I was his heart that won her over. She even said she left a well to do naval officer back then for him as that one never had time although he loved her and he didn't show promising prospects of being physically present for his family but my father will 'EVERYDAY' from his part time teaching job, stop over to check up on her and drop something no matter how small for her or he must buy something on his way even if it is biscuit.

Fastforward, today they are still together with 4 children and wealthy and the naval officer, equally doing fine but one wife in Nigeria and another one in the US.

its sad that our girls and ladies of nowadays have dumped true love and what defines it for IPhone 6, Oniru beach, The Place and small nonsense money.. When even God our creator has said 'never despise the days of little beginnings' and I add

Little Beginnings with Love as Foundation, 'translation' God is Love.