I choose my happiness and my baby.
I thank you all for your kind words.
I want to focus now on my work, baby and myself.
Gods will be done, I'm done stressing myself or fussing about.
Thank you all for your words.

jazzyjazz:
Calm down mama. Baby will arrive when it is the right time. Whether by your lmp date or scan date. Just let him/her bake very very well u hear. 

And don't worry, bump is coming. Be afraid not. E go appear like film trick 

Lolsssssss... I'm calm ooooo
Thank God for life

rejoice02:



Just prepare ur mind for the two EDD. If I were u i will stick to my LMP to put my mind at rest in case baby don't come according to scan date.

Wish u easy ride to d end.

Okay...thanks

They said I have malaria, is arthemeter injection good for pregnant women?

Pleaaaaassseee my scan revealed my end to be 26th April while my lmp says may 3.

Which should I take?

I'm 14WKS according to the scan but no bump at all and no vomiting...

Cc everybody

Thank you so oooooooooo much everybody.

I'm so happy because I saw my little bunny today, hmmm I actually cried.

Baby daddy cried too, he was so emotional and he said it's so real. Lolsssssss..

I saw the heart beat beating, the head and the arms and limbs.

Gosshhhhhhh... I'm truly going to be a mummy.. cry cry

I called my mummy and she said she wants to see little bunny too... She was so happy, singing and jumping.

Don't mind her, this is her first grandchild.

I'm so happy and my sickness just vanished.

Thank you all for your support and love.

I love you all.

Thank you so oooooooooo much mama's.

I'm so happy because I saw my little bunny today, hmmm I actually cried.

Baby daddy cried too, he was so emotional and he said it's so real. Lolsssssss..

I saw the heart beat beating, the head and the arms and limbs.

Gosshhhhhhh... I'm truly going to be a mummy..

I called my mummy and she said she wants to see little bunny too... She was so happy, singing and jumping.

Don't mind her, this is her first grandchild.

I'm so happy and my sickness just vanished.

Please pardon me, I'll respond to your mails when I'm better.

I appreciate your sincerity and love

Thank you for your words. I really do appreciate and I thank God for everything.

I told him about this post on nairaland and I believe he will also come here to read and learn and also post his version of the story.

I feel sick right now, so I can't type much.

Thank you so much.

KingRex1:

Nah this is different, she didn't just tell him her feelings, she gave him an ultimatum.
He was reasonable at first, but right until the tough spot she placed him.

Please don't misjudged me.

I told him that I had feelings for him and he said he has too but he has a girlfriend.
I decided not to be so close to him then because he was my only friend in a new town with no family.
I made other friends at work, I went out for occasions with my other colleagues because I believed my love for him will die if we were not so close.

He became jealous and will badmouth other male colleagues that had interest in me.
Some days he will tell me I know I'm making a big mistake if I don't marry you, you're everything I want in a wife.

He will come to my house and be all loving and caring but sometimes he will still call the girl.

I got tired of his games and told him to choose between us because I'm not in the mood for games, I never forced or cajoled him to date me.

Even when I found out he had not fully broken up with him, I told him I'm moving out (we were living together) and moving on, he apologized and I let it go (although he told me he did that because he had no rent then).

I'm so happy.

Before I created this post, I was considering killing myself (I'm just too emotional) but I feel so much relieved now.

A problem shared is a problem half solved truly.

You all saved a soul, I'll be strong.

Come may 2017, I'll Grace this page with cute pictures.

I truly love and appreciate you all.

I'm so grateful for all your words to me, it is not easy to type or give an advice. GOD bless you all.

I love my baby so much and I want the best for her/him, I am ready to do what is best for him or her.

My priority is this baby and I pray God gives me the strength to do what's best.

I need to work on myself and be happy.

Thank you once more.

Please, lalasticlala take the post off the front page.

accountbalance:


Looks like you still don't get the point, no relationship or marriage is perfect. Do you really think your mother will see a pit and ask you to jump inside. Of course, you deserve a good home and that's why you have to get it right now. There is nothing more than having a woman that loves you, your man will realize this sooner than you think and everything will be fine. However, if you allow yourself to be carried away by the present storm, you won't like the end, trust me. But strong for him and your baby till he comes around.



I think this is one of the reasons why he is not happy with you, you are not a very calm person . Why would you want to have a final discussion with him this soon. You really need to be calm and understand the law of process. Do you really think a magic will happen all of a sudden. You have to allow him change from the inside, let him want you by himself, don't talk him into it. He is the man, he has ego. You'll only push him away again with your nagging.

Thank you so much.

You are actually right, I worry a lot.

GOD help me.

It's not easy

accountbalance:


Woman, listen to your mother. This is just an hurdle. And please stop taking your issues to people for advise, you can't tell who has your best interest at heart. Again, I say, listen to your mother.

I also think my mother is biased because of the backlash she'll get from my Dad and also because she endured a bad marriage. I always prayed for a better home than what my mother went through.

I have decided to have one final discussion with him.

I know some of you want me to hold on but I believe my sanity is my priority.

If he decides to keep the home I'll stay but if he truly does not want to marry me, I'll move on with my life and my baby.

I'll raise money and get a new apartment but I won't quit my job.

Thank you all for your words.

euromilion:
Go to sleep except if you are not working tomorrow.

I'm working but I'll be okay.

I fell in love with someone and I don't regret it.
If you've ever been in love, you will do extra miles to please them.

I was in love with the wrong person.

We discussed marriage before I got pregnant, we talked about 2017 and that was one of the reason that made me decide to keep this baby.

It was after discussing with his parents, family and friends that he said I should go for an abortion. They thought I was from a poor home and I was trying to trap their son but when they came for the introduction they saw their assumptions were wrong and they gave their blessings.

Yes, I used to nag and complain a lot because he was very lazy and spends his money anyhow but I've stopped that.

Thank you all for your words.

They make me stronger and happy.

I brought this online because I wanted an unbiased opinion from people.

My main worry comes from the fact that he is not happy and he does not love me. I also don't want a man to marry out of pity.

People actually see it in a different way from.

My mum sees it as a hurdle that can be overcome, although she thinks we can put the wedding for a while

My dad is just so particular about the family name and believes it will work that finance is our major issue.

My sisters actually want me to put everything off until he shows me care, she does not mind being a single mother.

I confided in a married colleague at work and he thinks I should still go ahead.

A single male friend said I should go for an abortion.

I am really confused.

I never intentionally got pregnant for him and I did not break up any relationship and I did not force myself on him.

The sin I committed is fornication.

I have decided not to call it off myself but focus on me and my baby.

If by the end of this rent we've not sorted ourselves out, I'll move out and close this chapter forever.

And also work on my finances.

Thank you so much, chatting with you all made me stronger...

I'll definitely post pictures of my cute princess by may 2017.(i hope it's a girl)

I just talked to him about waiting till I give birth but he said it's now or never. That he has made up his mind about the marriage whether there's love or not.

The love is not very strong now but it will grow.

He said the loan is making him think too...

Thank you for your words.

I have decided to focus on me and my baby for now and get my finances in order.

Thank you so much.

He said he loves me somehow and that I'm a wife material but I'm demanding so much attention.

He said I talk a lot and he does not like talking (gisting) that he likes being alone.

He said he does not care about the pregnancy because he does not know anything about it and he feels since women do it almost everyday, it's not so difficult.

He said I cry a lot and crying irritates him.


I still don't understand all these and I feel so sad and unhappy.

Thank you all for your words.

I don't want to call off the engagement because he says I don't understand his personality, he is not romantic and I want a fairy-tale romance and he can't do that.

My mother says my pregnancy hormone is making me overreact.

My dad says out state of finance is affecting us.

His parents say I should tolerate him.

I still do love him and I can't explain why, He is not a bad person but I feel he does not love me. I do not want to anyone to get married to me out of pity and that's why I was asking for a solution.

He assist with the chores at home and bills. He does not keep late nights and he is always at home with me but he just wants to be alone always and I feel like he is irritated by me.

He says I demand too much attention from him.

I actually want to plan the wedding together but he is like he does not care and I should do the planning while he will look for the money...

He is 32years and I'm 23years.

ElsonMorali:


Unfortunately you've made an irreparable mistake of getting pregnant for a man who doesn't love you.

I'll leave the insults to the other commenters who are coming to do justice to that aspect, because truth be told, you really messed up. I get the sense that you are in your 30s and desperate for marriage.

Anyway, here's what I'll advice you to do.

You have two choices:

1. You can go ahead and marry him and hope he will change. The problem with this is that he will never change. He will keep hating you because he has convinced himself that you took advantage of him and slept with him and now you're using the pregnancy to tie him down.

The worse part of it is that he is going to cheat on you either with his other girlfriend or with someone else. For two reasons: he doesnt love you and two, if he was willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you, he will cheat on you with someone else.

2. Your second option is actually the better one, but the most painful and stressful and heartbreaking and shameful.

Call off the wedding. Right now. Dont join yourself with someone who despises and hates you.

Give birth to your baby and settle down to a life of single motherhood.

Painful? Yes! But you will have peace of mind that you dont have to wake up every morning having to think about how not to offend that man.

You will struggle, you will bear the stigma of single motherhood, you will be abandoned, you will be lonely, but if you keep your head up and never give up, bring up your child to have impeccable character, you will smile in the end.

Whatever you do, dont abort that kid and dont marry that man. Tell him that he can go and marry whoever he wants. He'll have visitation rights to his child. Thats all.

I wish you the best.

I was not desperate for marriage... I'm 23yrs and he is 32yrs

Onegai:


Since you know your way around Pregnancy thread, start by asking them which Govt Hospital you can use, how much to register, antenatal days, best markets to find cheap stuff etc. Please tell him to at least pay for antenatal, he owes his child that much. Since both of you are sharing bills, he takes care of antenatal, you take care of buying baby stuff.

Don't take a loan to finance a wedding, you're supposed to use your wedding to offset some bills. So that defeats the purpose if cash gifts go towards repaying your loans. Maybe shelve the wedding plans and just tell him to register you for antenatal. Forget bride price, forget traditional marriage for now and certainly he has more pressing issues than renovating his family home (I'm beginning to see why this guy is running mad and making idiootic mistakes). But let him pay off his mum's loan. That would take pressure off him. But no wedding of any sort till baby comes. Focus on getting that right. If he wants his child and you in the future, he can bring bride price and beg all the beggables.

Okay MA. I'll tell him about the ante-natal but I don't to call off the wedding if not he will use it against me to my parents and his parents. I want to focus on me and my baby and let him decide for himself what he wants.

Mimzyy:
Excuse me ma, you guys want to obtain a loan to have your wedding?
Is that not a grave mistake?
What happens after the wedding when the multitudes that you have fed leave you to your fate?
What happens to the innocent unborn?
Any plans on getting your baby's stuffs? Shouldn't that be of topmost priority now?
Can't you pend the wedding?

Maaamaaa, please you guys need to set your priorities. How on earth is he even going to payback? It's going to put a further strain on the relationship when it's payback time and He's unable to make ends meet. As it is, it's already difficult to sustain you both. Well, the ball is in your court. We can only but proffer advice , it's up to you to make a final decision. All the best.

The loan is not for my wedding ceremony, it is to provide my bride price list things, pay his mother the money he took from her two years ago and renovate his family house.

We did not plan on having a wedding ceremony with that loan.

Thank you mama's.. I've decide to quit for now and focus on me and my baby.

If he decides to come for me later on, no problem.

Onegai:


Okay let's move on.

Game plan:

1. How much can you be saving monthly? No buying lunch outside, gotta cut even small costs.

2. Has antenatal been paid for? He should do it

3. Start finding strength inside to face him and the whole world. Please don't bring this gist to anyone in your office before things get ugly and you end up losing your job.

4. Start sourcing for second-hand baby stuff (clothes, feeding bottles), there are a few tips to cut costs there.

I earn 80,000naira monthly but my firm pays us 50,000naira this year and I did a contribution of 30,000naira earlier this year, so right now I get 20k a month and I use that for my upkeep... My contribution ends this month so by November salary I'll get it 50k and I'll register for my ante-natal then. I'll be four months plus then.

I have no savings for now...

I'll get my baby things from January next year because my EDD is may 2017..

Thank you for your words.

Yes, it's about me and my baby right now.

5minsmadness:


Sorry dear.

He never loved you.

The reason he had a relationship with you to begin with is because u were available and desperate for him(sorry, but its the truth).

Since you havent married yet i would strongly advice against u getting married to this man. This foundation is already faulty and marriage is for life. His feelings for you wont change o, no matter the amount of love you throw at him, he will always feel u trapped him with pregnancy and the other lady was 'perfect'. Men dont change in marriage o.

Don't marry him. Accept life as a single mother for now, your true love will come along, one that you will profess love for and who will love you back and not be irritated by your sight .
All the best.

Thank you

Yes, it's totally my fault. I decided to stay because I was just stupidly in love.

I won't make this same mistakes again, I just thought there was a way I could make it work but I guess there is no way . I have decided to keep my head high and ride through the storm.

My baby and I is my priority.

Thank you for your harsh but loving words. GOD bless you all...

ifyalways:

Nne you indeed made so many mistakes but done is done.

I hope you are not a signatory to any loan

Why is he always broke when hes working with you in same company?Obviously sends his money to the other girl.

You just brace up yourself,save every little thing you can and prepare to takke care of your self and child.

No I'm not.

Our company pays us half of our salary now (that's why he is always broke) but I have the support of my parents. They help me out when I need.

But my dad threatened to cut me off if I have a child out of wedlock.

SisiNini:


I saw this post earlier on the preggy thread but decided to ignore it cos I don't want to add insult to injury...

The truth is that you brought dis whole issue upon yourself. One, the guy told you the gospel truth frm the onset that he was in a relationship (distant), but still went ahead to date him (forced urself on him)... Two, you told him to choose btw the 2 of you (forced urself on him)... Three, when you discovered he was still with d first lady, why didn't u leave them in peace? (forced urself on him)... Four, why in the world will you move in with a man that you've not done any marital rite or introduction? (forced urself on him again)...

My sister, am not claiming holier than thou but we deserve little dignity abeg... Don't let him marry you out of pity... What happens after some months / years in marriage when the love and romance fade away...? The only thing that will keep you guys going is friendship... Now, u want to build a family where there is no love and friendship... Hmnnnn... It can't be easy o...

Save that innocent baby the pain of growing up in a hostile environment... Just put the wedding preparations on hold and don't force him to love or care for you... Devote more time to making urself happy... It is better to be called 'single' than tagged 'once married' or living a frustrated family life... Let him make his choice without any manipulation or influence...

Men are chasers, they get pissed off when u chase them... They are wired like that...

Peace be unto you... #hugs

I made to leave then when I found out but he begged me to stay. Although he said he did that because he could not afford his rent back then.