Dyt:

Seal7 Martin Luther said

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

Acheron:
Maaamaaa,

The guy will come to his senses when that baby is finally born, trust me. For now, just stay healthy and try your best possible to be a good woman and wife to him.

I can bet it with anything that things will return to normalcy when the baby is here. That baby will draw you both together especially if the baby turns out to be a boy and a replica of him. I've seen this happen before.

That baby needs you to be strong right now. This shall pass.

rosalieene:
Tomorrow now, alotta guys would say, if you love him, make the move and tell him your feelings.... this is 21st century...
ladies never chase a guy, I repeat never chase a guy. If you love a guy, allow him to come to you instead to prevent insult to your personality. Most guys like taking advantage of ladies that like them.

Choosing whom to commit ourselves to is merely a case of identifying which particular variety of suffering we would most like to sacrifice ourself for.

KingRex1:

Nah this is different, she didn't just tell him her feelings, she gave him an ultimatum.
He was reasonable at first, but right until the tough spot she placed him.

thelish:



I like u sha. lol

oluspicy:


That's one of Martin Luther King Jnr's quote, not Seal7.

cangoallnyt:

nice words from u
i pray u have more wisdom
u are d only person who ignored prejudice,instead u tried to show care and understanding
May God bless
nobody is perfect

brownsoldier:

I absolutely love your comment and adore your approach to her problem. The kindness that accompanied it is heartwarming. I must admit I have silently read your comments on other threads on various issues in the past and may have misjudged you. I know different now. God bless you

Maaamaaa:


Please don't misjudged me.

I told him that I had feelings for him and he said he has too but he has a girlfriend.
I decided not to be so close to him then because he was my only friend in a new town with no family.
I made other friends at work, I went out for occasions with my other colleagues because I believed my love for him will die if we were not so close.

He became jealous and will badmouth other male colleagues that had interest in me.
Some days he will tell me I know I'm making a big mistake if I don't marry you, you're everything I want in a wife.

He will come to my house and be all loving and caring but sometimes he will still call the girl.

I got tired of his games and told him to choose between us because I'm not in the mood for games, I never forced or cajoled him to date me.

Even when I found out he had not fully broken up with him, I told him I'm moving out (we were living together) and moving on, he apologized and I let it go (although he told me he did that because he had no rent then).

Seal7:


before You coman put me in trouble.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Ujoan:


I think most women would try "one last time" . . . . No one would walk away just like that. But you are carrying his baby and your families are both involved. So don't think he will cast you away out rightly. Of course he will apologise, play nice for a while, get you to be his wife and then go back to treating you and your children like crap.

Bottom line is that this guy never loved you. You were a means too and end for him, but you made it too serious by getting pregnant. He needed you both financially and sexually. I can bet my last kobo that he would not have even considered you if you were broke too.

Guys do that all the time and a lot of us fall for it, so don't blame yourself.

But if you love yourself and want an atom of happiness in this life, please don't marry that man. No matter what he says!

Or you can go for option 2. . . Marry him just to give your child a name. And get ready to take whatever comes your way.

drehdinho:

Seriously, this part got me feeling like crying. Please, don't be discouraged. Even though as some have said, you made mistakes, but this is easier said than done. If some of those had been in your shoes the probability that they would even perform worse than you did is high. There are some situations,in which we find ourselves sometimes, which are just beyond human control. My sincere and true advice is that pray to God to comfort your pain and sorrow. The man might change his ways towards you. Who knows even the lady she wanted to marry has no aorta of love for him. Who knows maybe the two of you, that is, the man and you are meant for each other.
Be your normal self and move on with your life. Pray that you deliver safely and don't ever try to quit that job! Please, don't. The reason is whether you quit or not, your colleagues have already known what transpired between the two of you. There's nothing new under the sun, don't brood too much on the matter. Continue with your life. Life is good. Remember, there will be some whose life are worse than a living dead, yet they never gave up for a second. You're better than what you think. Happiness is your portion. Bye.

Maaamaaa:


Please don't misjudged me.

I told him that I had feelings for him and he said he has too but he has a girlfriend.
I decided not to be so close to him then because he was my only friend in a new town with no family.
I made other friends at work, I went out for occasions with my other colleagues because I believed my love for him will die if we were not so close.

He became jealous and will badmouth other male colleagues that had interest in me.
Some days he will tell me I know I'm making a big mistake if I don't marry you, you're everything I want in a wife.

He will come to my house and be all loving and caring but sometimes he will still call the girl.

I got tired of his games and told him to choose between us because I'm not in the mood for games, I never forced or cajoled him to date me.

Even when I found out he had not fully broken up with him, I told him I'm moving out (we were living together) and moving on, he apologized and I let it go (although he told me he did that because he had no rent then).

Maaamaaa:
I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Maaamaaa:


I did not ask him out and I did not try to make him jealous, I decided to make other friends so I will not be attached to him so much.

We moved in together because he did not have money for his rent.

Dyt:


Everyone is with a past
It will pass by
They will only murmur it for some days

It's not easy but trust me you can try
You will actually end up being the best person ever you wanna be

Btw
Where's your location?

author=Maaamaaa post=50488400