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A Frustrated Woman - Family (14) - Nairaland

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'Frustrated' Lastborn Tired Of Housework Writes Warning Letter To Family Members / I Become Broke, Frustrated Whenever I Have Sex With My Wife / My Wife Is Driving Me Crazy??? Getting Frustrated Here (2) (3) (4)

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Re: A Frustrated Woman by MizMyColi(f): 7:54am On Oct 26, 2016
stephenmorris:
I just love reading your posts lol, speaking sense since the days of ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,common sense

And attacking me abi? tongue
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Evangdanyno2017(m): 7:56am On Oct 26, 2016
Life without christ is in crisis. The bible said abstain from al appearance of sin 1Thess 5:22. What wil be the foundation of ur marriage? Who wil be the cynosure of ur marriage?. History repete itself whn people fail to learn. Ur foundation is wrong alreaday anytin u are building on it may not stands the test of time and may demands ur life later. Go to God in sincere repentance and confess ur sins to him. Al ve sins and com short of the glory of God, he wil 4give u and redesign u to fit ur purposes in life. Dont mind wht people wil say, pray to ur creator he wil nt forsake or leave u.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by cescky(m): 7:59am On Oct 26, 2016
Maaamaaa:
Yes, it's totally my fault. I decided to stay because I was just stupidly in love.

I won't make this same mistakes again, I just thought there was a way I could make it work but I guess there is no way . I have decided to keep my head high and ride through the storm.

My baby and I is my priority.

Thank you for your harsh but loving words. GOD bless you all...

Sorry about your issue, most people are harshly judging u and sorry too about that. Truth is the guy too is very much to blame though am not absolving you of blame.

Like some one said focus on the baby.. Just be strong and I PROMISE u. If U ignore the guy and stay strong for urself and by urself. He may come back begging.

The guy is an immature brat...he's selfish too if he could slip into your legs and got jealous of your lack of attention in the past there's emotions in him for you and why cant he marry u seeing there's a third person involved.... He said he just met a girl online... He hardly knows the so called girl that gives him peace, he's probably doesn't know what he really wants... Paraventure when he later sleeps with the other girl his eyes /lust and lost senses will return.

Just stay strong If u can read books on keeping and staying positive.i have lots I can send to u if u like.
Getting depressed will make him detest u more keeping strong will throw him of balance and his conscious must judge him.

Like I said u were both wrong but if u stay positive and like someone said try seeking new jobs in possible maybe after birth .. If he doesn't come apologizing now he will in future.

Ps: how do I know it's not his parents controlling him, since he changed after going to see them?

Have faith .u can always marry ....him or another. Just faith is the master key.
All the best
Re: A Frustrated Woman by MSItachi: 8:01am On Oct 26, 2016
Best Thread this year. Advise given... Advise taken
Re: A Frustrated Woman by maina55: 8:01am On Oct 26, 2016
Maaamaaa:
I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.I think you just have to bear with him in order to save your relationship

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.
I think you just have to bear with him in order to save the relationship,,, because looking at things now,, he doesn't love you,,, even when you go into that marriage,,, you may end up frustrated.. But just keep on praying,,, hope that things will get better.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by chukssnkeze: 8:02am On Oct 26, 2016
I quite agree that you caused all these for yourself but sometimes you can't blame yourself for who you have feelings for, but I must say that the guy took advantage of you and your feelings which most guys will do.

Having said that, you do not deserve to be married out of pity, close your eyes to the societal pressure and take your live back, have that child on your own get busy work had someone who deserves you will come that's if the guy don't come back.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by ladyverere(f): 8:05am On Oct 26, 2016
Ishilove:
Hmmmm, aunty, this your story dey somehow o... He never loved you, obviously, but you were too blinded by 'love' to see all the warning signs. That he asked you to abort shows he never had you in his long term plans.

Fact is, you pushed yourself on him and being a man, he saw the opportunity for free punny. Now the novelty of the said free punny has worn off and coupled with it, the said punny is pregnant for him, so he is feeling stifled and thus resents you for making him do all things he doesn't want to do.

He wants to marry you out of pity, which is why he said he doesn't want to bring shame to you and your family.

Sister, you are on your own. Better wake up seriously because deep down, you know the truth. Love, they say, is blind but na inside marriage eye dey clear. You are seeing all the signs but you still want to go ahead to marry, because you want to bear 'Mrs', or you want your child to have a normal family as you claim. Sister, you want your child to grow up seeing you unhappy because his or her daddy doesn't love mummy?

Sister, I repeat, You Are On Your Own.



Apt. Nothing more needs to be added. U forced urself on him and now U must bear the consequences. We ladies must understand that it is men who should pursue us, propose to us and desire being married to us more than us. Ur first mistake was to pursue him. Ur 2nd mistake was to cohabit with him with the full knowledge that he is in a relationship. D straw that brokes the camel's back is ur deliberately becoming pregnant. Ur 1st warning sign was his reaction when U told him of ur pregnancy. But did U listen? Nope. U were too in love to have common sense. Now U r stuck. See, we cannot advice U against going on with the wedding, that is ur decision honey. But remember when U r in that marriage do not make ur husband ur Idol or ur sole project. Focus on ur career and ur kid(s) and learn to put God first in everything U do and U will be more content. Good luck.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by pressplay411(m): 8:06am On Oct 26, 2016
I'm in a similar position with the guy.
So here's the deal.
This is a clear case of FWB gone wrong.

He saw free punna and moving in together made it all the more convenient and careless. Getting you knocked up wasn't part of the plan.

If you truely love him, cut him loose.
Let him know you're not going to force the preg on him , that you're prepared to raise the baby by yourself, and you won't hold it against him.

Trust that'll ease his burden. Cos he feels trapped. That's why he's been acting up.

Seeing each other all the time ain't helping either. Have you considered moving out temporarily?
Make him miss you.

Trust me with some Time and Space, he's likely to come to his senses and man up. That's if ever he actually had an iota of love for you, which I believe he does.

Kindly ignore the comments about you being a home wrecker, every one is in a relationship, as long as he wasn't married.

Wish you the best dear.

2 Likes

Re: A Frustrated Woman by bishopjoe02(m): 8:06am On Oct 26, 2016
Maaamaaa:
We still live together and we just paid the rent. I don't have any money to move out and I don't want to ask my parents for any money.

I still want to stay here till my rent expires. Is it a good idea?

I'm just going to focus on me and my work. I don't want to tell my parents anything for now.

I paid half of the rent and I don't want to say anything to my parents if not he will say he wants to marry but I'm the one that cancelled it.

you need to persons more now, your mum and God,

My advise is, don't do anything or say anything yet regarding the marriage, talk to God and your mum. your mum will help you more than the internet

2 Likes

Re: A Frustrated Woman by drnoel: 8:10am On Oct 26, 2016
Maaamaaa:
I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

The thing about telling someone the truth is that it hurts at first and the continue hurting for awhile.
Sure it hurts but for ones peace of mind its always best to face the truth and look it in the face.
The relationship is dead in my point of view until proven otherwise. A relationship becomes dead when feelings become strictly one sided, when one of the party involved starts irritating the other. Sorry but u have to woman up and move on. If u care for the guy let him go, its not worth the pain. If u marry him u will both make urselves miserable. Take ur pregnancy and move on. There is no shame there since u are a working class lady and taking care of yourself. If he turns around after u have moved on and u still care for him then thats ur choice but dont waste another minute hanging unto a man that has told u all he has so far. His reason to want to wed u should be for u not the package.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by cyril700(m): 8:12am On Oct 26, 2016
Maaamaaa:


I'm at uyo.

Thank you so much
am at uyo too, let's hook up, i'll marry u like that.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by drnoel: 8:15am On Oct 26, 2016
ladyverere:




Apt. Nothing more needs to be added. U forced urself on him and now U must bear the consequences. We ladies must understand that it is men who should pursue us, propose to us and desire being married to us more than us. Ur first mistake was to pursue him. Ur 2nd mistake was to cohabit with him with the full knowledge that he is in a relationship. D straw that brokes the camel's back is ur deliberately becoming pregnant. Ur 1st warning sign was his reaction when U told him of ur pregnancy. But did U listen? Nope. U were too in love to have common sense. Now U r stuck. See, we cannot advice U against going on with the wedding, that is ur decision honey. But remember when U r in that marriage do not make ur husband ur Idol or ur sole project. Focus on ur career and ur kid(s) and learn to put God first in everything U do and U will be more content. Good luck.

Am glad what u wrote up there is just ur point of view and not facts. But then women with ur kind of mentality (no insults meant) should never ever think of going into relationships cos u will implode urself. No man will stomach that kind of thinking and stay. Cheers

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Re: A Frustrated Woman by Mayflowa(m): 8:15am On Oct 26, 2016
WORLDPEACE:

Because of you na im I log in. For real, that guy nor get level hahahahaha! He just needs to feel he has control of things, not being pushed by circumstances into where he is heading. Once he has that in his head he will come around fully, and her attitude towards him is what will make that happen. If she is not aborting the pregnancy I think she should work with what she has if he is willing irregardless of his present confusion and bewilderment. That guy actually needs her to get his life together; him and his scattered financial state. Soon he will realize what an asset she is to him and let her be the treasurer of the relationship; that guy wey no sabi manage money. He also needs friends who will let him see this as a positive rather than a negative.
All these people shouting upadan that she should raise the baby on her own, the world is not a kind place to a single mother. First you have to live your life with people judging you everywhere you go while looking for a man who can love you with your child. Then you have to think about loving his own children too because he will most likely also be a single father. The work ahead is no small work.

Really...hahahaha
You sure made a valid statement too. We know wetin dey.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by franugo(m): 8:19am On Oct 26, 2016
accountbalance:










Open your eyes madam and read what these people said above me. Don't let those that don't know you dictate your future, a lot of kids are here on this forum. Trust me if the guy doesn't want you, he wouldn't have agreed to marry you. Everyone wants a perfect love story, he is only angry because his own isn't perfect.

He needs time. Be quiet, give him peace, space, don't force anything on him and don't report him. Don't bother him with anything, I repeat, don't bother him with anything. Trust me, he will come to his senses.


I don't get it, did you guys not read d part where d guy said he'd leave her for his ex if he could....or where he said he's only marrying her cause of family?? I would bet anything dt his family is pushing defiantly for the marriage cause they want dt child. take away d child n everything falls apart
Re: A Frustrated Woman by ladyverere(f): 8:19am On Oct 26, 2016
carammel:
Pardon me,I will be a bit harsh.

You brought it upon yourself,you are a homebreaker and husband snatcher,you knew he was in a relationship and yet open your legs for him to the extent that you moved in with him,most men these days enjoy free chao and won't hesitate to grab the opportunity.

You are only being selfish by considering yourself alone,how about the woman he has been with before,she will surely be hurt too.

You can just move on with your life and take responsibility for the baby alone,allow him marry whoever he wants or force yourself to marry him and live an unhappy life. The ball is in your court.


Jeez! Harsh?! U sound ridiculous. Sure she made a serious mistake but how is she a home breaker when the bloke isn't married? He was merely in a relationship not even courtship. Pls if U have nothing constructive to say just ignore the post. She knew she was wrong.

1 Like

Re: A Frustrated Woman by enoch273: 8:23am On Oct 26, 2016
Maaamaaa:
I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

The guy is stupid, he ia treating you that way cause he thinks you ve no choice, call off the marriage and tell him to go be with whom he love, give birth to the child but never let him see his child he is an animal, if he truly cares he will come back begging.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Ashmark(m): 8:23am On Oct 26, 2016
obataokenwa:
this words I will never forget from my pastor. "whatever you see in a relationship, will double after marriage" move on. read Romans 12:2

And whatever you don't see in a Relationship can still double in Marriage.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by ceo12: 8:24am On Oct 26, 2016
This is bullshit, some guys are just stupid..in his mind now he is feeling like King Kong, just because she made her feelings known to him from the beginning, my advice ...don't marry that foolish uncivilized idolt, simply because you are pregnant. Is better to be a single mom than to marry someone that you will never be happy with for the rest of your life. How I wish will find a girl that will show me love enough to tell me, she loves me first even when I haven't spent a dime on her. Some guys are just dumb Sha
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Adebash01(m): 8:25am On Oct 26, 2016
Sorry sis, your story really touch me, but my prayer for you is that God should do the best in your life, keep praying.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Nobody: 8:29am On Oct 26, 2016
Maaamaaa:


I was not desperate for marriage... I'm 23yrs and he is 32yrs
shocked wow...I thought you were 35-40 years. You are still too young to be pursuing a man around like you did. Take no offense, dear.

Anyways, I know you will still marry this man come dec because you still have feelings for him and cos you feel the shame of having a baby out of wedlock will be too much. Thats your choice, my sister.
I just want to advise that you make sure he comes to respect you before your wedding. This is to ensure he does not maltreat you in future or make your life miserable.

A good friend of mine got pregnant for her fiance before they were ready. He told her to abort it cos they didn't have money for wedding. She told him never. That he can go on with his life. That anyhow anyhow she will have her baby and care for the baby herself. Later, the man changed his mind and they saved or got money from somewhere and did intro plus trad. Today they are married and have another child together making 2 kids.

The diff is that I doubt her own man threatened to leave her if the baby dies or all the trash this your own fiance spewed out. But since I know u will likely go ahead with the wedding, I am advising you to make him RESPECT you first. And that can only happen if you respect yourself first. Get him to know that he has a choice to walk away if he wants. Get him to want you as a wife he wants n not cos of parents or shame. Let him not feel trapped or lured into marriage. That way tomorrow, you can proudly hold your head high in that marriage and perhaps he will come to love you like he should.

If all these fails, remember it's more shameful to marry and break up later. Than to break up before marrying. Since na shame we dey talk about. Wish u well.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by ButterFrost212(f): 8:30am On Oct 26, 2016
Ishilove:
Hmmmm, aunty, this your story dey somehow o... He never loved you, obviously, but you were too blinded by 'love' to see all the warning signs. That he asked you to abort shows he never had you in his long term plans.

Fact is, you pushed yourself on him and being a man, he saw the opportunity for free punny. Now the novelty of the said free punny has worn off and coupled with it, the said punny is pregnant for him, so he is feeling stifled and thus resents you for making him do all things he doesn't want to do.

He wants to marry you out of pity, which is why he said he doesn't want to bring shame to you and your family.

Sister, you are on your own. Better wake up seriously because deep down, you know the truth. Love, they say, is blind but na inside marriage eye dey clear. You are seeing all the signs but you still want to go ahead to marry, because you want to bear 'Mrs', or you want your child to have a normal family as you claim. Sister, you want your child to grow up seeing you unhappy because his or her daddy doesn't love mummy?

Sister, I repeat, You Are On Your Own.
Maaamaaa, this is the best advise you'd get...being a single parent beats being in an unhappy marriage, the outcome is alot messier. What's the guarantee that he would love your child when it eventually comes. I know it's hard, but your best bet is to take a walk now that you can, because it only gets harder.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by ceo12: 8:33am On Oct 26, 2016
cyril700:
am at uyo too, lsharp guy things
et's hook up, i'll marry u like that.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by olaolaking: 8:33am On Oct 26, 2016
Maaamaaa:


Okay MA. I'll tell him about the ante-natal but I don't to call off the wedding if not he will use it against me to my parents and his parents. I want to focus on me and my baby and let him decide for himself what he wants.
Now that you have accepted your offer mistakes. No need to analyze it again.
Target = don't marry him. Because the shame you are running from will come in multiple folds if you do.

If you have fixed it a date for the wedding? Send invitations out?
Let me know so that we can plan the solution together
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Skyloloprince(m): 8:36am On Oct 26, 2016
Just try reach me for counsel 07088161201, ur passing tru a lot, I have something's to ask u, you have to take a very strong decision now
Re: A Frustrated Woman by bekong(m): 8:37am On Oct 26, 2016
where in uyo? am there.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by equily(m): 8:39am On Oct 26, 2016
It's not about being engaged,married or in a relationship..It's about being secured,happy,relieved, nd feeling good..it's about a peaceful state of mind,it's about sleeping at nyt without d fear of loosing wat u have got...it's about being yourself nd nt someone else ..it's about feeling loved,respected,happy,understo
od,cared for nd appreciated....it's all about d right person at d right time...
Re: A Frustrated Woman by Yesitsme(f): 8:40am On Oct 26, 2016
Maaamaaa:


I was not desperate for marriage... I'm 23yrs and he is 32yrs
still a kid.....guess he was ur first.
Re: A Frustrated Woman by franklynsunny(m): 8:41am On Oct 26, 2016
For dose ladies out dere dat prefer to trap a man with pregnancy
Dis is wat u get

Am sowi to tell u@op
U wil nt enjoy the marriage except if God melts his stone heart against u...he feeels trap and take it or leave it...u face dis until nw n tomorrow...
Re: A Frustrated Woman by balosammy(m): 8:41am On Oct 26, 2016
Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

See this woman ooo
How can U overcome the shame at work ?
That's how U have plan ur destiny frm heaven , let them talk to ur face and gossip don't look there ,U don't know maybe their own will be worst than ur own , and when uu face ur duty at work they can even promote U ahead them, and even the guy can be either forced out of shame to come back yo U and beg .
That girl ur man really love ,U don't know may be later he will see the bad in her and had to come back to U and ur child
But all in all ,make sure U u pray and pray for him also .
Take care and forget every dam ,
Wait sef assuming u don't have a job nko ,
U have a job dear , move on jare
Re: A Frustrated Woman by chinene1(f): 8:42am On Oct 26, 2016
Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. no one has the right to judge you. Focus on your baby, your life and your happiness. They will talk yes but you will learn to ignore them. They will say all sorts but make sure you get stronger. We women are strong. We can with stand nearly anything. At the end of of day you will come out victorious. P.S, never let anyone see you frustrated, unhappy or in tears. Always show smile no matter what! Stay we away from your ex. YOU CAN DO THIS!
Re: A Frustrated Woman by frmglorytoglory: 8:46am On Oct 26, 2016
Maaama lists to me.....this is what I will tell you if you are my younger sister....pls go ahead with your wedding. That precious baby deserves to be born into a home. I will not spend time berating you for what has happened....the mistake has already been made.
After the wedding....do what you are supposed to do as a wife...take care of the home etc.....but never ever initiate sex...but I he ask co operate. Also give him space at home...maintain your seperate room status....you can say that the pregnancy hormones are disturbing you......
You need that three months paid maternity leave.....also when you are almost due you can politely ask him to allow you move to your parents so that you can be taken care of and also spend the omugwo period in your family house so you can get proper love and care.
Finally don't forget the power of prayers....get closer to the Lord...confess your wrongs and ask him for mercy. Maintain a very close relationship with the Lord henceforth.
I know your pride is prickles and this young man has hurt you deeply by his words but you need to swallow that pride and do the right thing for the sake of your child....imagine if after struggling with a child alone this young man comes to claim his kid.....it is well with you. May the Lord see you through it all
Pls go ahead with your wedding....pls

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