You see pregnancy has a way of making women extra sensitive and easily irritated. I wld advise u revisit this issue some months after the babyhas come, stop stressing the issue now,be grateful for the undertsanding he especially and his family have shown so far . remembere u took him from someone, allow the feelings settle, u can't have it totally perfect this early. Take it as the little price u to pay for snatching him, it wld soon face out.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Sure, it wont b easy to b a single mum, but over tym ull get over d shame. Moreover, he will come to his senses as he continues to c his beautiful baby (boy or girl). Men hav soft spot for their blood these days. He may reconsider d whole situation IF U ENSURE HE DOESN'T HAV ACCESS TO UR CHILD. MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR HIM TO ACCESS D BABY. POSSIBLY CHANGE BASE/STATE.
Remain strong in the Lord, ur child needs God.

Maaamaaa:
I heard they do not give maternity leave to women that are not married where I work.

That's a barbaric company policy formulated by moralistic bigots who are actually animals in human form. Is a married pregnant woman physiologically different from an unmarried one?

carammel u r 100% right the girl/lady/woman in question is big fool, she know that the guy did not love in 1st place abi ?
she knew the guy is into another relationship ? y/n
she knew the guy did not love/cares for her in the 1st place ? y/n
she knew she did not understand the guy in 1st place ? y/n
the guy knew he going to have problem with the girl family but playing along ? y/n
is seem their are different with the guy in question n the lady ? y/n

now she now complaining, am also in that shoe play, so woman stop complaining n carry u cross

Hi sister,
If you believe in God, just take everything to God in prayers and trust Him for direction.
Meanwhile, give him some space and be courageous.
Don't allow depression because you don't need that now.
Eat lots of fruits and try to stay happy.
God bless.

Please go ahead with the marriage, he will get over it, he was not meant to be with the other woman, else things would not have turned out the way it did, just be calm, be prayerful, keep pleading for mercy before God, it was a mistake trying to lure him but it will be a greater mistake to have your baby outside wedlock, when you put to bed things will change, don't forget to pray that God will bless the other woman with her own man
Peace

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

There is no shame about being a single mum by circumstance. I am one. People will always talk, there is nothing U can do about that so just move on. And U know something funny? After clamouring for abortion and which of course I bluntly refused my baby daddy split and left me alone. It wasn't easy but thank God I am a lawyer, taking care of my baby alone was tough but I coped very well. Today, guess who came crawling back with his tail tucked btw his legs? Ur guess is as good as mine. And guess what? he desperately wants marriage now.

There is nothing to save in this relationship that is the honest truth.if you dnt want to live a frustrated life for the rest of your days do not,i repeat DO NOT marry him because he will treat you like a piece of rag in your face. I can understand you feeling ashamed in your office,but my dear,u are not the first to get preggy without marriage and u wnt be the last. Just form sendless mode and keep your head up. As for your company not giving maternity leave,now is the time to either start saving up seriously or find ways to double your salary before you give birth o,so you can use it to sustain yourself and the baby while searching for another.
Someone who will love you and your baby will come n marry you for love not out of pity,lifes too short to live miserable because of man!

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

We all make mistakes in life and if all the love you guys shared was never for real, then i think taking a walk out of the relationship now as the right thing to do. Its a fact that, "a broken Relationship is better than a broken Marriage" you can withstand this level of shame than going into an unhappy marriage with a man who do not love you and coming out with a bigger shame from a divorce.

The thread is already expanded but i wish the OP can read this post.

1. Sometimes marriage does not get initiated by love rather COMMITMENT due to one reason or the other. That is the only strength of your position right now. His tantrums will be killed by TIME. Believe me, it will.

2. You think he resents you. BUT WHY DID HE CORRECT YOU when you were making the biggest mistake that would have completely weakened you position. (YOUR MISTAKE: Calling in parents to mediate.). Rather than keying in unto this mistake, he choose to correct you and thankfully you listened. Believe me, the man you fell in love with is still in there.

3. To your credit, you have taken the right step of being tolerant and not angry towards his tantrums. Just keep it up and be in your best form as a potential good wife for him. Good thing is that you have been blessed with the fruit of the womb. Imagine that eventually you give birth to a carbon copy of him - HE WILL BE ON HIS KNEES begging you.

4. Be prayerful and have faith in God.


PLAN B

If he does not come around eventually, you have your kid and that is a big blessing for you from the relationship. Be strong and move on with the joy of seeing your kid everyday. He can claim a similar joy.

As for the shame at work, there is no shame anywhere. It is part of reality of life. And i can tell you that someone who was in your situation is a single mother who share the same office space with me. Only the the two of us. I see her every week day and obviously have more interaction with her than even my wife. She has a boy of about 5 yrs and she is one of the happiest women i have ever come across. She hopes to still settle down if the right person comes along. So, your future is not bleak at all.

I have another recommendation for you. I can recommend a particular counselor for you who was in a far worse situation but now doing very well and happily married. Facebook ID: lara kudayisi-emeralds Get in touch with her and let me know (kayus238@gmail.com)

Wishing you well.

Ishilove:
Hmmmm, aunty, this your story dey somehow o... He never loved you, obviously, but you were too blinded by 'love' to see all the warning signs. That he asked you to abort shows he never had you in his long term plans.

Fact is, you pushed yourself on him and being a man, he saw the opportunity for free punny. Now the novelty of the said free punny has worn off and coupled with it, the said punny is pregnant for him, so he is feeling stifled and thus resents you for making him do all things he doesn't want to do.

He wants to marry you out of pity, which is why he said he doesn't want to bring shame to you and your family.

Sister, you are on your own. Better wake up seriously because deep down, you know the truth. Love, they say, is blind but na inside marriage eye dey clear. You are seeing all the signs but you still want to go ahead to marry, because you want to bear 'Mrs', or you want your child to have a normal family as you claim. Sister, you want your child to grow up seeing you unhappy because his or her daddy doesn't love mummy?

Sister, I repeat, You Are On Your Own.

The God of wisdom has granted you plenty of wisdom. I wish you are my friend.

@ Maaamaaa

I want you to know (and understand) the make-up of a typical man. He wants to be the one to make the whole decision. He doesn't want to be boxed into a situation and he doesn't like when he has the smaller end of the stick with a woman.

I discover your man is a good and gentle person. Most of the things you said about him suggests that. Tell you the truth, I will put on this exact behaviour if my gf gets pregnant for me, in a similar situation!
But that doesn't mean I don't love her, its just that I was not the one that's making all the decision(I'll feel the pregnancy is boxing me in) and I will feel that I would ve a better option if I had looked elsewhere. But love is there, just over-shadowed by situation. So, live through this hurdle, and see the blessing.

If you try to play the trick that was suggested in this thread on him, and he is the impulsive type or in a bad mood at the moment, he may deny u without blinking an eye, (I can do same) and will regret later when in a better reasoning.

I will tell you also to stop controlling things, allow him to. Everything he should be the one to do as a man, let him do it, and don't query him or pry. Let him be the man. He is in a lot of mental stress now. I see he is the laid-back type, which u see as laziness, suddenly he doesn't like gisting, he is the mental type, not on-the-go... And you are a go getter. Allow him. Don't nag or create more stress. Both of you are just displaying the lack of grasp of personality knowledge in marriage, with a sudden change of status, not contemplated for.

Then to the "marry out of pity" mentality; let me tell you that almost all marriage has a reason. Pity, compassion, respect, interest, body shape, colour, education, voice, pregnancy, religion, family, parents, sibling, make-up, opportunity, luck, favour, likeness, even hatred can make you discover love, where you think it doesn't exist. There is always a reason for every marriage, just pray for understanding in ur partner. Even at the wedding altar, you will start entertaining some doubt if you have made the best choice, serious fear if it will work, and if you won't regret it later, much more when you are making the consideration because of pregnancy. My point is that in reality, there is always a reason for marriage, forget fairy tales.

I am telling you how I would have behaved in similar situation; and I can tell you its normal and typical of most men.

Lastly, don't contemplate abortion, many women are on church altars crying for such blessing, please don't despise urs because of situations around. The situation has gotten so bad now so much so that many guys are impregnating their fiance first before traditional marriage just to be sure their is no incompatibility.

Maamaa my sis I can undstnd ur view cos I cant call it a predicament cos d earlier d beta.d deed has bn done which evryone on earth has made a mistake initially and it's been tagged"past" my dear u can take my words and leave me cos am telin u frm experience,I legally and religiously got married to one idiot but he decided to use me as punch bag and I showed him pepper by quitting d mariage cos he never believed it til date,he stil sends pple to com and plead on his behalf and dis 1yr and 7mnths I dumped him jst exactly my baby's age. How did I cope at work cos dis bastard den comes to office to embaras himsef to d extent dat he will call my colleagues and be spoiling their mind. d same pple he castigated me to were d ones dat encouraged to move on wit my life,dat his attitudes and actions alone in d office is sometin else.it's only his co-fools dat were making mockery and gossiping abt d issue but I stood my ground and didn't mind anybody cos it's all abt ME ALONE and nt anyone else. To d extent dat one useless colleagues I hav do insult me indirectly abt dat each time I had issue wit her but I frowned at all dat cos what I need is my own hapines and nt theirs. D news is now over & evrybody is now praising me cos I made sure I added a huge amount of weight and looks more neater and hapier dat was how they were convinced dat it was actually my decision to move on. Pls dnt act dull-dull or shy at work if not they wil over make mockery of u,pls incase any of Dem insults u directly abt it,pls dnt exchange words wit d person,jst tell d person dat ur prayer is dat he/she will experience what u experienced or something similar to it so dat nxt time d pesin wil act and speak maturedly in issues lik dis.

You're even lucky he's showing his true colors even before marriage. My sister, where your legs, remove your shoes and hold your belle as you dey run. Run far far away.
As for your place of work, it's high time you started looking for a place for yourself. Na your fault. Job romance Na big deal. Don't you know?


Well, you should start considering relocation.

Dyt:


That's a moniker
I only copied his signature

Its also my signature too.

drnoel:


Am glad what u wrote up there is just ur point of view and not facts. But then women with ur kind of mentality (no insults meant) should never ever think of going into relationships cos u will implode urself. No man will stomach that kind of thinking and stay. Cheers

Really? I guess U r a guy. A woman should have self respect and dignity. Even when she is in love with a guy she must keep it quiet and if d man is God's choice for her he will eventually make d move. Cohabitation btw unmarried couple is completely wrong and inexcusable. What happens to the woman if the man decides he is now bored with her? There are many women who make their husbands their idols and sole pet projects, it is wrong but these sort of women are destined to be miserable and frustrated and the husbands would take them for granted, not to mention being stifled. So I believe every wife should put God first in their homes that's the only way they can be content.

[quote author=Maaamaaa post=50496158]Thank you all for your words.

I don't want to call off the engagement because he says I don't understand his personality, he is not romantic and I want a fairy-tale romance and he can't do that.

My mother says my pregnancy hormone is making me overreact.

My dad says out state of finance is affecting us.

His parents say I should tolerate him.

I still do love him and I can't explain why, He is not a bad person but I feel he does not love me. I do not want to anyone to get married to me out of pity and that's why I was asking for a solution.

He assist with the chores at home and bills. He does not keep late nights and he is always at home with me but he just wants to be alone always and I feel like he is irritated by me.

He says I demand too much attention from him.

I actually want to plan the wedding together but he is like he does not care and I should do the planning while he will look for the money...

He is 32years and I'm 23years.[/quote

]
THE CHOICE IS YOURS[b][/b]
I read your story and was patiently reading responses from others until i got to this comment you made and i got stuck, couldn't read on without a response.
Young lady, it is your life, your decision, your responsibility.
You erred, you realised your error and you don't want to move on right?
I don't envy you ma'am just thinking how a girl so young could, in this century, still be so naive.
I had a sister, yes, HAD a sister, who had similar experience like yours, went through with the marriage but things NEVER got better. Several years down the line, my sis got to know that the man has several ladies/women he cheats with. Just like you, my sis loved him beyond words but today, the man has married three different wives but my sis lay buried in an unmarked grave (wouldn't want to bore this thread with how/what led to her death.
Moral of the story: men will always be men. It is YOUR life. If you love your life and you want to keep it then apply wisdom, don't leave God out of the equation. Don't build your isle in the air nor live in a fools paradise.
Wishing you God's guidance and a better tomorrow.

Maaamaaa:
I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

My sister, i don't know if yours is a true life story, if it is, i advise you quit the relationship.

If you force him to get married to you eventually you mat end up a very sad and depressed woman.

please let him be, he has told you no love exist between the two of you both in words and his actions. biko free the guy

I don't think the guy is the irresponsible type the fact that he said he will marry for the pregnancy . But then, you wouldn't blame him much for despising you ( may be you are not as pretty and well behaved as the other girl he wants). Don't enter into an avoidable quagmire. Cancel the wedding, take responsibility for the cancelation before your people and his family, summarize the explanations for that by saying that it is in your best interests.
Sit him down and plead with him to support you through this pregnancy and childbirth only. Tell him he is free to marry anybody he wants afterwards, also assure him that your love for him has not changed one bit.
Next, you have to move out to any cheap accommodation (face to face) but don't force him to pay for it or refund you the commitment made on the apartment you share with him.
Next, have a word with his best friend about your decisions, tell the friend that you love him. I am sure if that his friend is a good one indeed, he will advise him to stay committed and marry you because ladies are basically the same in Character and Words given the same circumstances. He may also advise him to keep what he has. A bird at hand, they say is worth more than ten at the bush.
Prepare your mind on moving out, you will only be visiting him that if he wants and don't sleep over when you do. If there is any chance that he will begin to re-enact some love love for you, he will ask you to stay back after some visits. It will then be your turn for shakara, insist on going to your face to face. Lol


You are bothered about shame at work place and what people will say

You are not the first to become pregnant out of wedlock and will not be the last. People will say whatever they like but the value of the child you will have is worth more than the abuses that may come your way which I can assure will change to congratulations from the people you least expected it from when the child is born. Never contemplate Abortion!
So, you will begin by summoning the courage to address your colleagues at the work place that you are expecting a child, that it is one of those things. Also say that although it was a mistake that you will gladly have the baby for the man you love without any guarantee for marriage at the moment, say to anybody that cares that you are not getting younger, however, this child will be your consolation.
End it by saying, that you know you have disappointed some persons and your faith (Christian), but that you humbly apologize asking for forgiveness from 'man and God'.
Most of your colleagues will encourage you and be supportive. Those who will talk, will talk but it will be for a few days.

Goodluck

ItsQuinn:
This is one of the solid reasons why I would NEVER ask a guy out

you're right about that but it still doesn't apply to all guys nao:/

Women wahala too much. Just look at how you ruined your life because you wanna have a boyfriend and get married. When women learn how to stay alone for sometime their problems would definately reduce. Na so so boyfriend and marriage full some una head....sometimes i believe boyfriend and husband are the main reason why some of you breathe. Everywhere una go na so so boyfriend dey una head. Let that man go if you don't want to be miserable for the rest of your life. Sorry if i sounded harsh but ladies need to wise up a little. I'm sure you would have prefered a single normal life to the matrimonial bondage you are about to get into

Maaamaaa

I'll try to be brief

My wife and I were dating while we're in school. Due to some issues, we broke up. She had another relationship and got pregnant. Do you know what They both broke up in a most violent way (she caught the guy having issues with incest) after one daughter and the guy openly declared that she was a mistake

Even there is a case I am handling presently......(my friend and his wife - after 3yrs of marriage and 2 beautiful daughters the marriage is facing heavy turbulent times.....twas a similar case like urs......)

I'll suggest you search and be watch this movie AINIDARIJI (fully subtitled in English - starring Mike Ezerunoye, Desmond Elliot and other stars)

Tis better you move out of that place NOW...... you are still young and don't mind what others are saying.... You will definitely find and setlle with that man of yours......

My $2.1bn

Topgainer:
I don't think the guy is the irresponsible type the fact that he said he will marry for the pregnancy . But then, you wouldn't blame him much for despising you ( may be you are not as pretty and well behaved as the other girl he wants). Don't enter into an avoidable quagmire. Cancel the wedding, take responsibility for the cancelation before your people and his family, summarize the explanations for that by saying that it is in your best interests.
Sit him down and plead with him to support you through this pregnancy and childbirth only. Tell him he is free to marry anybody he wants afterwards, also assure him that your love for him has not changed one bit.
Next, you have to move out to any cheap accommodation (face to face) but don't force him to pay for it or refund you the commitment made on the apartment you share with him.
Next, have a word with his best friend about your decisions, tell the friend that you love him. I am sure if that his friend is a good one indeed, he will advise him to stay committed and marry you because ladies are basically the same in Character and Words given the same circumstances. He may also advise him to keep what he has. A bird at hand, they say is worth more than ten at the bush.
Prepare your mind on moving out, you will only be visiting him that if he wants and don't sleep over when you do. If there is any chance that he will begin to re-enact some love love for you, he will ask you to stay back after some visits. It will then be your turn for shakara, insist on going to your face to face. Lol


You are bothered about shame at work place and what people will say

You are not the first to become pregnant out of wedlock and will not be the last. People will say whatever they like but the value of the child you will have is worth more than the abuses that may come your way which I can assure will change to congratulations from the people you least expected it from when the child is born. Never contemplate Abortion!
So, you will begin by summoning the courage to address your colleagues at the work place that you are expecting a child, that it is one of those things. Also say that although it was a mistake that you will gladly have the baby for the man you love without any guarantee for marriage at the moment, say to anybody that cares that you are not getting younger, however, this child will be your consolation.
End it by saying, that you know you have disappointed some persons and your faith (Christian), but that you humbly apologize asking for forgiveness from 'man and God'.
Most of your colleagues will encourage you and be supportive. Those who will talk, will talk but it will be for a few days.

Goodluck

walahi.....10 Tankers of Orijin for u

sisisioge:


Haaaaaa! Which kind discrimination be that? Pls walk to the HR and ask.

What bloody discrimination? So a struggling establishment should encourage sluttiness by giving free money and holiday in Bahamas to a wilful Ekaette? Na the oga give her the belle ni? I cringe with the way you women think wrongly all of the time. From the OP to the comments. Just sheer lack of depth.

Acheron:
Maaamaaa,

The guy will come to his senses when that baby is finally born, trust me. For now, just stay healthy and try your best possible to be a good woman and wife to him.

I can bet it with anything that things will return to normalcy when the baby is here. That baby will draw you both together especially if the baby turns out to be a boy and a replica of him. I've seen this happen before.

That baby needs you to be strong right now. This shall pass.

Thank you my man. Solid advice. @maama, clearly you're a bit of a dundee. But for your unborn child's sake, follow this advice.

Sorry I can't take any chances, my happiness is the most important

Tuham:

you're right about that but it still doesn't apply to all guys nao:/

Tuham:

you're right about that but it still doesn't apply to all guys nao:/

Well said!

ladyverere:



Really? I guess U r a guy. A woman should have self respect and dignity. Even when she is in love with a guy she must keep it quiet and if d man is God's choice for her he will eventually make d move. Cohabitation btw unmarried couple is completely wrong and inexcusable. What happens to the woman if the man decides he is now bored with her? There are many women who make their husbands their idols and sole pet projects, it is wrong but these sort of women are destined to be miserable and frustrated and the husbands would take them for granted, not to mention being stifled. So I believe every wife should put God first in their homes that's the only way they can be content.

Madam that thinking is so wrong it hurts to hear or see it written. As I said thank God thats just ur opinion and not a statement of fact. I know couples who the wives proposed to and they are wed. Infact my tightest pal proposed to her husband and even provided the money to marry him, took him outside the country and set him up. They are happy and blessed with 4 kids and are in their 10th year of marriage. She put him through school and now he has a very good paying job and doesnt joke her. Don't get me wrong, I dont support cohabitating but such level in a relationship is not for children. If a couple decide they are ready to cohabit who can stop them when they are adults?
The mistake u make is the fellacy of thinking that its a man's world and men are the stronger of tge sexes. I don't blame u, the african mentality doesn't allow our women move their necks. My wifey also had such orientation before I corrected it. U will be making a big mistake if u continue thinking in that line. If a man looses interest in a woman it won't matter if he was the one who pursued her or if she was the one so also if a woman looses interest. I don't know why our brains back home is so twisted backwards it doesn't allow us think clearly. About putting God first thats what ever human being should do. Am sure u are unmarried thats why u can talk such things cos u are inexperienced. Advice to u, don't ever make the mistake to put god before u husband cos u will return and catch him probably gone or sleeping ur housemaid. Word enof!

my dear, if u don't want to be miserable and totally unhappy for the rest of ur life, don't get married to him.. his current behaviour towards u is just d tip of the ice Berg.. for d pregnancy, u can keep it, I just pray u r financially capable of taking care of urself and d baby.. we men are stupid atimes, show him dat u can be on ur own and manage d consequences surrounding u on ur an and to answering Mrs. becos of pitty.. my dear even if una don make arrangements and fixed a date, DO NOT MARRY HIMMMMM!!! but still commit it into d HANDS OF GOD.... He has d best answer for u. remain Blessed ma

ziddy:


That's a barbaric company policy formulated by moralistic bigots who are actually animals in human form. Is a married pregnant woman physiologically different from an unmarried one?

No company in Nigeria gives official Maternity Leave to Unmarried ladies, instead they will tag you promiscuous and source for replacement once they look for you at your duty post.
But it depends on your relationship with management and your openness. Most will be supportive if you approach them with frank description of your situation, they could retain you whenever you return after delivery or carve out another portfolio for you because definitely you will be replaced once you take a leave.
That's the way it works

Acheron:
Maaamaaa,

The guy will come to his senses when that baby is finally born, trust me. For now, just stay healthy and try your best possible to be a good woman and wife to him.

I can bet it with anything that things will return to normalcy when the baby is here. That baby will draw you both together especially if the baby turns out to be a boy and a replica of him. I've seen this happen before.

That baby needs you to be strong right now. This shall pass.

I dont know if Maaamaaa will get to read this. the truth is you cannot married this man now because it is like buying a pig in the poke. Acheron theory that he will come around is based on chance with 50% or less probability of success because it is based on no known tenet. Like other people have advised, moved out now from the shared apartment. Move on with your life. If he want you, it will be based on love and not out of pity. A life journey with a man who only pity you is not worth it. Consider the child your gain and devote your time to the child and yourself. What of if the child turn out to be a girl and a replica of you, what then happens? Please and please, you are a very reasonable person. Do what is right. Better life ahead.

ItsQuinn:
Sorry I can't take any chances, my happiness is the most important

What if there's a 98% clear signs he's interested in you, and he also makes you happy.
but just that he doesn't know yet, how to tell you?

Maaamaaa:
I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

It is not late, if your story is true as stated, i will only advice to call the wedding off, concentrate on ur pregnancy and forget about him, he does not love u and you don't have to force urself on him. finito.