Mimzyy:


It was still fine at this point, as friends.



You should have respected him a lot more at this point cos not so many men will open up to you about their relationship status when there's a lady(you) giving them the green light somewhere

.

This was you being very selfish and manipulative, the guy obviously did not see you as anything more than a friend, he was never in love with you but you allowed yourself to be blinded by your emotions and greed. Why on earth will you even ask him to choose between you who he just met and barely has feelings for and his long time girlfriend?




He only told you what you wanted to hear, so what if she is an OND holder, did he tell you she has no plans to further her education?



You moved in with him because you wanted to keep a tab on him 24/7!!! Of course, why will he break up with her? The devil you know...



He asked you for an abortion because he is not genuinely in love with you! You practically shoved yourself down his throat. He is frustrated and angry that you messed up his plans. He agreed to live with you cos he wanted to use you as a house-help! Not cos he had any future plan to spend the rest of his life with you. Now you have an innocent baby on the way , deep sigh!!

Well, there is nothing prayer and counselling cannot do. Call for a family meeting and table everything . For the sake of the unborn, i hope things work out well for you.

He said he met her September and then it was just an online relationship but they physically met December when he went home for Christmas last year.

I did not force myself on him, yes I was just stupidly in love. He will get drunk come to my place when I go out with another man, I never tried to make him jealous. I was just having other friends.

I did not move in with him to keep tabs on him, he was broke and could not afford his rent. So we planned to use my own rent to renew his.

He asked for an abortion because he was flat broke and had no money for the wedding (so he said) but we he got an option if taking a loan he agreed to it.. He is about to take the loan.

The OND case is that he said he still has a long way to go.

I believe he decided to date me because I was the convenient option.

Onegai:


Babe, you still think if you can just love him enough show him your wifely attributes, he will repent. This is a man eating your food, sleeping under your roof and treating you this way. Wake up and smell the burning akara. Why can't he feed himself? He should be paying for his bills and his feeding, so no money, no food. You and he are working, so where's his salary going?

He pays for his bills and provides money for his feeding... We share the expenses 50/50

ifyalways:

Good .

Does he give you allowance for food? If yes, I see no biggie,You need to live amicably with him so cook as usual(when you can) .

I always request for it.
Okay, fine... Thanks

Onegai:


That doesn't make sense, a pregnant lady is still pregnant, married or not. Go ask your HR.

Don't marry this guy. He doesn't love you, you don't love him, so why force things? I'm sure someone will tell you to go ahead, he will love you later. But no-one can promise that. Keep working, if anyone asks about the baby's father tell them with a very strong face "we met when he came to town and it didn't work out". You have to pull yourself together, you and your ex work together, you're pregnant and hormonal, I mean, you really have to strengthen your mind.

If this young man relents, don't allow him to put a ring on your finger till after the baby is born. Don't let his guilt consume your life eventually. He has to prove that he wants you for you, not because you got knocked up. So when the baby comes out, things will be rough for the first couple of months but once it stabilises, both of you can look forward and see what you both want for yourselves and your child.

Thank you. I asked HR and they told me that

ifyalways:

Well, you can plead with him to move out seeing as you now disgust him. If he ever loved you and is humane enough, he should do that atleast for you but if he refuses, tough luck, try to co-exist as a room mate with him and please NEVER give him the cookie jar again.

Thank you Ma. He can't move out because he has no where to go and he is broke. It's a two bedroom apartment and we have separate rooms.

Should I stop cooking? For both of us

sisisioge:


Haaaaaa! Which kind discrimination be that? Pls walk to the HR and ask.

I asked the HR

We still live together and we just paid the rent. I don't have any money to move out and I don't want to ask my parents for any money.

I still want to stay here till my rent expires. Is it a good idea?

I'm just going to focus on me and my work. I don't want to tell my parents anything for now.

I paid half of the rent and I don't want to say anything to my parents if not he will say he wants to marry but I'm the one that cancelled it.

Dyt:


He no even get money?
Mehn you are on your own my sister



Permit me to ask you shut the hell up



5minsmadness

no, we earn the same salary.. He was broke then.

sisisioge:
About moving on in the office... No look anybody's face. They will talk, soon they would get over it. Don't get in an argument, don't feel the need to explain. If you have one or two you feel you own an explanation, just tell them sheet happens.Be of good countenance, I think you strongly need the three months maternity paid leave so I won't also advise you quit. Good luck baby girl...sheet happens, especially to good gullible people.

Now you know why its not recommended to mix business with pleasure. Pele.

I heard they do not give maternity leave to women that are not married where I work.

MizMyColi:


What Shame Ma?

Is it that of what people will say?
Or will your company sack you because you didn't do marriage yet and you're pregnant?

If it is that of what people will say and how they will view you, I admit it is not easy but you have to hold your head high come what may.

You need to be strong. No matter the shame you feel, do not let it show. It is when they see you are ashamed that they will try to hurt you more, but if you form badoo/ode shi, they can only try.

Hope you don't have a close pal that knows all your secrets at work?
If you do, now would be the best time to cut off by limiting what you say. And if you must talk, apply wisdom.

Let the Child you are carrying be one of the focal points of your joy.

Stay away from people who remind you of the past and try to dump their negative energies on you.

Mistakes have been made, lessons learned (I believe).

Now, Move ON.

I also heard there is no maternity leave for women that are not married where I work.

olagbemi118:
So sorry to say this. .. u asked the guy out & he said no, he told you he was in a relationship. u then decided to make him jealous & finally u got him. The truth is u took another person's husband. From ur story up there, I can say that guy does not care about u a bit. U brought it upon urself and now dat u r even pregnant spoilt the whole thing . .. Anyway, the only solution I can tink of is prayer & patience. That may change his heart.

I did not ask him out and I did not try to make him jealous, I decided to make other friends so I will not be attached to him so much.

We moved in together because he did not have money for his rent.

Dyt:


Everyone is with a past
It will pass by
They will only murmur it for some days

It's not easy but trust me you can try
You will actually end up being the best person ever you wanna be

Btw
Where's your location?

I'm at uyo.

Thank you so much

Thank you lexajen and jazzy jazz... GOD bless you so much for your words.

Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Ishilove:
Hmmmm, aunty, this your story dey somehow o... He never loved you, obviously, but you were too blinded by 'love' to see all the warning signs. That he asked you to abort shows he never had you in his long term plans.

Fact is, you pushed yourself on him and being a man, he saw the opportunity for free punny. Now the novelty of the said free punny has worn off and coupled with it, the said punny is pregnant for him, so he is feeling stifled and thus resents you for making him do all things he doesn't want to do.

He wants to marry you out of pity, which is why he said he doesn't want to bring shame to you and your family.

Sister, you are on your own. Better wake up seriously because deep down, you know the truth. Love, they say, is blind but na inside marriage eye dey clear. You are seeing all the signs but you still want to go ahead to marry, because you want to bear 'Mrs', or you want your child to have a normal family as you claim. Sister, you want your child to grow up seeing you unhappy because his or her daddy doesn't love mummy?

Sister, I repeat, You Are On Your Own.

Thank you because this is indeed the hard truth.

I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do and don't fail to tell me where I went wrong.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

Pleaaaaassseee I need your advice, I thought the storm is over but it is not.

I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

I just knew it has to be wuse general hospital...I served there and trust me, it is the norm ooooo...

@liftedhands I'm not married but although I'm about to...I faced a situation worse than yours...I cried my soul out and prayed my heart out...

I was about to be abandoned with my pregnancy but just when I thought God travelled, He showed up...

I finally had my introduction on friday and my wedding is coming up this december...

My future hubby returned back to me lovingly..

I definitely know my battles are not over and I'm willing to stand...

If your life is not threatened, please don't give up...

No one can help save your marriage but God...hold on to him...

Florena:
you are very welcome, enjoy ya stay!

Thank you

Getting married very soon, definitely feel like running away but i can't because I'm pregnant...



I fell in love with a heartless monster....God help me

Hello mothers ermmmmmmmm....After Six tests and several missed mp...I'm definitely preggy...

10weeks and counting...EDD is May 3rd...

Its been stress free so far but i suddenly became restless and weak yesterday, i feel worse today...

I've got a rash outbreak on my face abiii pimple sefff....I'm experiencing constipation....

I'm also spitting crazy and my nose is so sensitive...