shortgun:
Some wicked women have pushed many simple men to their untimely passing using emotional blackmail.
It all started in our homes, our mothers will incite our fathers to beat us mercilessly making us feel our fathers hated us.

Your mother, not our mother.

;

Maj196:
They always blame men for everything going on in their lives... Men-opause, Men-struation

Men-struation is a sign of fertility. It’s not a bad thing, neither is menopause, as it is the transition into a new phase of life and an important and useful one.

sylve11:
Be like this marriage matter fit give person brain tumor o.

You hardly see a happy couple these days. If you see the couple that are happy in their marriage, it's either they are pretending or they just got married.

It seems the older generations had it better than what we are seeing now.

May God help humanity. 🙏

How do you know the happy ones are only pretending?

UjuJoan2:


I think your husband’s behavior is as a result of his own childhood trauma. Maybe he has a very rigid childhood that affected his self esteem and he doesn’t want the same for his kids.

Also, your children sound young, how old are they? Sometimes all they need is to grow up!!! My own kids almost gave me HBP and I swear, I used to wish I didn’t have kids. Sometimes kids are just that way, and it may not necessarily be because of you.

Also, why did you buy the iPads for them?. My kids didn’t even have iPads until my oldest turned 10. Now if I tell them to drop their devices, they have other things to do. For this summer and I made a list of activities with over 5 hours of screen time daily. They happily comply with it because they know they will eventually get to use their electronics. I refused to buy some extremely distracting things like PS5 and other games. I will not use my hand and give my children temptations!

As for your husband, have you ever had a deep conversation about this with him? Have you calmly explained to him why you have all these rules? Some men just see our rules as “wickedness”, especially when they had wicked mothers themselves. Also, some men just do not understand how frustrating unruly kids can be.

My husband used to do the same until he started seeing their unruly side. Because of work schedules, he’s hardly home alone with them, before he gets back they are tired from the day’s madness and I’m done with my “shouting” for the day, so he never really understood how bad it was. Until his work schedule changed and he spent more time at home with them.

Everybody wants well-behaved kids, he just needs to understand the reason for your actions. Also, how do you go about talking to them or trying to discipline them? Do you use harsh words, loud voice, do you beat them? You need to be their friend if you want them to listen to you.

If your husband keeps being a problem, then stop telling him your plans for them. You don’t need him to pay for the swimming so why ask for his permission. Some men are just laid back and never want to do anything. You can’t keep trying to get his cooperation when you know he will only discourage you.

But trust me, You can never have perfect kids no matter how much you try. You may think if you and your husband get it all right they will be perfect, but they may not be. I know from my own experience. Even at their age, they still trouble the life out of me. But it is better now than it was when they were much younger. So give it time, and don’t ever give up setting rules for them, teaching them discipline, focus, respect e.t.c

As for your husband, you let him be the way he is. You let him get away with not playing his role and you need to stop it. We women think if we are gentle withe they will use their common sense and learn, but most time they see our gentility as an enabler. Force him to do what he’s supposed to do and if he refuses, make a while lot of trouble for him. Let him know that the alternative to not playing his role is trouble. Don’t ever step in for him, not even once. Teach him to figure out that his duty is his alone. Some men are still kids at heart, and you have to treat them like kids. I know it’s unfair, but that is just the reality.

OP, listen to this lady. She has shared a lot from experience that could help you.

I would like to highlight two points:

1) Build a good relationship with your children, this will make them want to please you and avoid disappointing you.

2) Let the father take care of them. Make him stay with them for an extended period of time so he can see for himself that kids can be a handful.