Sad

Hey everyone.

Silent reader here. Now I need some advice. I have been married several years and my spouse states he is happy however I am not. I'm resentful and bitter and its basically because of three things

I have a child who has fighting some health battles for years. Now part of the medication means that one person has to do a vigil every Saturday (overnight) monitoring the administration of medication. it has to be at night when child is asleep. I work 7am to 7pm everyday except weekends, and my spouse works two weeks onshore and two weeks offshore. I have asked for him to take a vigil once a month and I handle the remaining three weekends but he refuses. I am happy to do it for my child but I am not happy that my spouse refuses to do even 25% - its draining not being able to rest every weekend. He is not curious about his child's medication or treatment: the only time he asked questions was when he was asking if the medication could help his younger brother and if I could take his brother to my child's doctor.

Second, I am not happy with his reaction to excess drink. He drinks, and then vomits allover the room, takes off all his clothes and is starkers on the ground. Lots of times my kids are crying that they want to see their dad who is lying in a pool of his vomit - when he is sober he starts to tell me how a parent must never be naked in front of his kids .
I have asked him to stay in the car and sober up before coming in but he refuses. He says he drinks because I have a body odour and so he has to drink to deaden his sense of smell. However he was drinking heavily before we dated but I never knew he got drunk as we never lived together. I have asked my family members, friends and have been to several clinics, spas, herbalists for help but they are not able to treat me as they all claim that I do not have a body odour.
When I see a lot of people together I deliberately go into their midst to check their reaction if I really have a body odour and no one yet has reacted like I do. I do not want to believe that he is just lying to hurt me. However he does not claim any smell when we are intimate.

Third, I believe couples should perform what Nigerians would call "eye service" for each other. Now I do not see him try to have a relationship with his kids. Whenever I call home, The help always says he is garden or at the pool, and she is with the kids. And when I call him, he says he is with the kids. I try to sneak into the home at lunch time to catch daddy and kids playing, but I have never seen them together.
And when I ask why I never see him with the kids, he says he spends time with them in my absence and will not go out of his way to play with the kids in front of me and that would be eye service. He says once I come back from work the kids are mine to handle as he has spent time with them for the day. I still think that couples should be able to compromise or do "eye service" for each other if that is what makes the other person happy.

Financially he is doing his best and I have no complaints as I can supplement easily

But here is the issue: I'd like to forgive him but first I want to understand where he is coming from, what drives him to treat I and the children the way he does.
However he refuses to explain why he will not help me in the vigil, refuses to explain why he will not stay in the car inside the compound till he sobers up but would rather let the kids see him naked in his vomit, refuses to expatiate on the body odour he perceives and refuses to explain why I have never seen him spend time with the kids in my presence. Sometimes I ask him: wouldn't you think it was weird if your fridge was full of delicious food everyday and you never saw me cook and I tell you that I cook only in your absence?

Can someone else explain on his behalf why you think he would do this? Why does he not want to do his part of the vigil when he has two weeks to rest at home? Is he scared that he could fall asleep and leave the child unmonitored? Why would he not want to help me defeat this "body odour"? Is my help lying or is he lying?

Looking forward to reading your KIND responses