I shared my story on here some time ago and everyone were advising me to run away and leave my mom and my siblings to Thier fate, it sounded unbelievable that people would advise me to abandon my birth mother to suffer and beg for food simply because she doesn't have today, I listened to Thier advice and I gave myself some breathing space, time to focus on myself I thought, then It took a toll on me, I felt so bad abandoning the person who was there for me when I was a kid because my dad is a total deadbeat, he limited my naive mom in every way he is the reason she doesn't have anything today, she listened to her husband and obeyed him, she was just 18 when her mum caught her like a chicken and sold him to a devil who is twice her age, she tried schooling this man watched her like a hawk after promising to train her through uni, he didn't train her through uni infact he frustrated her until she dropped out, she tried applying for work with her polytechnic cert but my deadbeat dad said she is looking for an avenue to be one of those wives who work out of state and cheat on Thier husband, every business Idea my mum had he managed to jeopardize it, I won't go more into details the damage this man has done because his attrocities fit full encyclopedia, here I am a dropout because he couldn't afford 7k for me to buy form, I was ignorant and young I had no means to make money, now my mates are graduates and I am here, all the good grades I managed to get in school due to high intellect wasted, his crimes against me are many, and I might harm him mortally before this is over.

Back to the reason for my post, abandoning my mom for a short while gave rise to alot of rebound effects, she fell terribly I'll and tried to reach me several times, I dropped my number na so she couldn't thanks to the nairaland advice, I later found out she was hospitalized so I ran home, went to the hospital and discovered its something serious, she's hypertensive and prone to stroke, and abandoning her has increased the risk because she was thinking alot, she lost alot of weight too, listening to your parents and marrying who they recommend is a bad thing, if she had dated this man she'd have seen the red flags, if she hadn't listened to the so called husband she'd be her own person today, the story is very long, this series of mistakes happened because some naive little girl married a monster twice her age just because she's a good girl who never dated anyone and listened to her parents, live your life and make exploits on your own, following the so called wisdom of elders is thrash, I'm making money today because I dropped out and hit the streets, I earn online even though I'm not doing yahoo I am still able to cater for my mom and I'll not abandon her for any reason again, she almost died, next time I might not be this lucky.

frozen70:


Sorry for being in such a terrible situation

If your mum had married a caring Batchelor, your dad would have been committed to you guys

If your mum was an independent woman who struggles without waiting for her husband, she would have been better than this

Most men who later marry second wives are less caring about them because the first wife will play her game to pay the second wife back when the man is getting older and her own children must have been established

So your dad is dancing to the tune of the first wife at the detriment of your mum and her children

Just do the one you can and leave the rest

Problem no dey finish for family matters

ok thanks

Kobojunkie:
1. First of all, exactly how old is your mother?

I am older than you are and 65 is around the corner for my mother and she works by the way.

she's in her early sixties

Kobojunkie:
1. If you want your family to rise out of poverty, you have to take harsh steps in order to secure your future and that of your entire household. It would be ideal if you could take time to come up with a good plan, sit everyone around the table and let them know what is up and how you think they can all come together to make this work for all of you.

So how will they survive while I am taking the hard steps, I'm keeping an open mind about any advice, that's why I brought it here, what would you do in my shoes that won't affect your mother in a certain way, will she starve while you're formulating the harsh decisions.

tonicyril:
Ur statement (to me as a yorubaman) signifies that he's lazy...

He's not lazy, he's just not as smart and ambitious as I am, he's literally cool with any condition he finds himself, so the will to be something greater is not there neither is he even bothered, he's only worried about today's bread, tomorrow will take care of itself, that's his mentality.

Kobojunkie:
1. Forget that side entirely abeg, for your own sanity's sake.

Thanks.

Klass99:


I am glad to read the text in bold, please don't ever turn your back on her. She has done her best with the hand life dealt her abeg.

Your father is truly an asshole from everything I have read so far and the real definition of a simp, not the definition immature boys throw around here on nairaland.

Ya he's a total nightmare, who turned my mom to a punching bag until I grew up and we had a big fight, I didn't hit him or anything but I assured him that this is the last time he lays hand on my mom, and he accused me of being bewitched by my mum that I am too blind to see reasons, since when is it wrong to defend my defenseless mother, no one can abuse her, not while I am alive.

irijuola:


Don’t be depressed. Just see this year as the year you’ll have a final impact on their lives. Let me share the story of my dad’s family with you so that you can learn a lesson from it.
It goes thus:
My dad’s younger brother married and things took a downward turn for him. In my own opinion, I think the wife married him cos she felt he had a rich elder brother. My dad was responsible for a lot of financial help towards him. But things didn’t really take a good turn still. When my dad was close to retirement, he bought him a cab, spent so much on the cab to put it in perfect condition, close to 1 M. My dad told him, I’m close to retirement and I want you to take care of this cab so that it will yield for you. He took the cab and used it recklessly without servicing it or even saving from it. After some months, the cab developed numerous faults. One day my dad saw him inside a public transport and asked him about the cab. The man said it’s spoilt. My dad told him to repair it from savings he made while using it. Alas, no savings. My dad stepped in again and repair this cab close to 200K. He started using the cab. Do you know one day, he came to my Mum’s shop and when he came, my dad asked him about the cab. The man said it’s at the vulcanizer that he’ll be going back for it. It was later he confessed that he needed money to buy tires. My dad told him to get a loan by himself and repair it. I’m sure he was surprised.
This same man wanted my dad to carry all the cost for his daughter’s wedding even after my dad had retired. My dad just ignored him and gave him some funds as his own contribution.
The worst thing is that during any occasion in my family, this man and his family will come, ordinary agege bread, he has never given to us. My dad’s retirement came, his friends and coworkers gave him gifts, his brother as usual brought nothing.

So I still stick with what I said, use this year to invest in them and withdraw massively starting from next year. Start preparing to move out so that by Jan 2024 you are already elsewhere. You have your life to live. You would have done your best. Then, you can send occasional stipend till you are established and overflowing.

Also, if it’s possible, get a government job like security for your brother using his SSCE.
May God bless you.

Thanks once again, I'll put this to good use, maybe it'll work out, I failed to mention that his siblings are worse than he is too, they don't even know we're existing, anyways it's all good.

Klass99:


Please do not listen to Kobo and cut your mother off, she didn't intentionally or willfully create these circumstances by her choices.....the way losing gamblers with their constant gambling create bad circumstances for themselves.

You saw her do her best for all the children including the ones inherited from the first wife, you know that for 20 years the proceeds from her supermarket provided for all of you. I am sure the debts she incurred were taken because of her kids. How old is she now? Her youth and strength are probably gone and there is a serious age bias in the marketplace where older job seeking candidates are often discriminated against.

Someone kept hounding me about needing a restaurant manager. I sent an older but experienced caterer to him and the idiot said he was looking for someone less older and agile. I told him to find his own workers and leave me out of it henceforth. The lady I sent to him is extremely good at what she does, but you see how her age/lack of youth worked against her, abi?

Your mother doesn't sound like a lazy, entitled or bad parent, she is just an unfortunate woman. If you must cut off anyone it should be your elder brother because he still has his youth and strength, his hands are not broken neither is his brain malfunctioning but I am not even suggesting that, I'm just saying.

If you can help your mum start another provision store or kiosk it may ease the financial burden on you or maybe a POS business for your brother? But I think you need to have cash flow to sustain a POS buiz.

yes age isn't on her side, and I remembered her as a dotting mother who never fails to give me pocket money when I am going to school, clothe me and provide basic needs, she's not capable anymore otherwise she'd have sponsored my education, she even sold her car for us, she use to have one small golf car, I feel I owe her alot, she's in her 60s, she will clock 70 soon, someone as young as me is finding it hard to keep up talkmore of her, I'm not absolving her of any blames, I actually feel like she's the actual victim in all of this, because she ignorantly obeyed her parents and got married to this man untainted, she had no dating experience prior to this whole sham of a marriage and she has been paying for it ever since, she's so depressed with high BP that requires regular hospitalization, infact I'm just tired, life lost its meaning I'm just waiting to go.

As for my dad it's cool, I have moved on, It feels like I don't even have a dad cuz he doesn't have any impact in my life as a father should so I don't expect anything from him, not when I am now an adult capable of taking care of myself, I don't need him when I was little I won't begin to need him now.

irijuola:
I’m so sorry you’re in this plight. Okay. My advice is that you need to make some life decisions henceforth. Let’s say, you see this year as the last year you’ll slave away for your family. What do I mean.

(1) Send your brother to driving school and let him get the driving licence.
Then, get a cab ( like korope) or maybe even a salon car for Uber.
Pay some down payment and put the remaining on hire purchase. (If you’re able to pay at once, it’s also good). If it’s hire purchase, let the instalment be in your brother’s name so he can remit the agreed amount as at when due. You and your mum can be the the required guarantor. Your brother’s case is settled.

P.s: After doing this, you are absolved of all further responsibilities over him. This has to be done asap cos if he’s your elder bro, he’ll want to have a family or maybe someone might even get pregnant for him. This will indirectly be your burden. So act fast.

(2) Your mum had a supermarket so she really won’t want to do any “downtrodden” work. I pray God will bless you abundantly and enlarge your coast. If you live in a residential area, you can get her a grinding machine for pepper and buy freezer for her to sell ice blocks. Guess she might need a generator too. At least for a start. Later, you can open a shop for her to sell frozen food or even gas cylinder filling shop. Whatever you decide.

Another thing she can do is to o poop en a daycare/crèche for a daily/weekly/monthly amount.

Concerning the rent, I pray God’s blessing over the works of your hands. God will marvel you with riches so that you can purchase a land and built a house for her.

For your dad, just assume you are on your own and ignore him

As I said, this is just for this year. See it as your final great sacrifice. Then, move out next year and invest in your life and plan for the future.

Thanks for this valuable advice, it kinda lifted my spirit because I've been depressed for so long, and the funny thing is 90% of the reasons why I am depressed is because of my family's problem, not even my own problem, I have been shouldering this for more than five years and I realized I'm not getting any younger, I need to find a way to let them down easy and break this circle cuz I have problems too that no one is helping me to solve, infact no one cares about my personal problem they're only concerned about what affects them not me, it's like I'm taking care of people but there's no one taking care of me.

Kobojunkie:
1. Forget sentiments abeg! You need to take full honest stock of the current situation. You live with two able-bodied adults, and you are struggling under the weight of having to carry it all by yourself, something similar maybe to the same load your mother had on her that caused her business and life to implode. You came here to create this thread because you cannot see a way out by doing it all by yourself and as such you need help, right? Well, guess what? You have two able-bodied adults living with you that could share that load and make it significantly lighter for you to bear. Problem is, you are shoving sentiments onto the table before you have even begun on the path to solving this problem for all of you.

Your mother still has your siblings to raise, and she has loans to deal with. They are her responsibilities and not meant to be yours, no matter the fact that she is your mother. In loving homes, parents work themselves to the bones to make sure they do not offload their bills and issues unto their children. That is how it is supposed to be. However, in Africa where poverty mentality is the ultimate, parents do not mind offloading their issues onto their children, forgetting that by doing this, they essentially chain their issues to a life in poverty as a result of this.

Your desire is to be financially stable, and that is why you came running here, right? You don't want to have to be shackled with bills for any longer than you already have, right? You don't want to watch your siblings continue to live in squalor while you continue to struggle endlessly to get nowhere fast, right? Well, continuing down the same path as before is not the answer. You need to begin doing things differently. And if you are honest with yourself, you will see why you need to cut even your mother off so she can take back the burden which had to begin with. She needs to get back up and continue her duty as the parent in your arrangement.

Yea, I understand you perfectly, cutting her off is harsh sha.

tonicyril:


Lol

Funny guy

Tell him to go and learn a trade bro, I recommend a trade..

Like buy and seling of commodities

You can only force the horse to a river not force it to drink.

tonicyril:


One tin about life is that Ur struggles are not respected, to feed 6people is no joke..that is why I am telling u that all the money u need to invest into Ur future should not all be used for feeding...else Ur children will blame u as u re doing now. And the funny tins is that telling them u once fed more than six people would look like a fable to them.

Wait, that Ur brother, is he not having any handwork??, Or maybe didn't he learn any trade??

I paid for him to learn fashion design, work is not coming.

tonicyril:


Sorry bro...it's a bad experience I can't lie..

But come to think of it, why are u all dependent on him?? If he's not providing why are Ur brothers and u not carrying Ur crosses?

As in, a person who is parentless is achieving grt tins in life and even going to school and graduating??

Looks like Ur brothers are the lazy type sha, cus as a man I don't see u limiting ursef just because a father did not provide.

Before I went to school I looked well and saw that my parents are incapacitated, I had to halt the motion and learn a bricklaying first because I know if I don't have any handwork but depending on my parent I might end up cursing them as u re doing to Ur father now.
After I finished the apprenticeship I went straight to obtain jamb form and from there I got admitted.

I worked in almost every part of the southern Nigeria during my studentship just to gather school fees and other fees with minimal help from my mother.
Glory be to God I am done and even married, tho I am not doing the bricklaying work again cus it has served its purpose already..

Young people need to be looking inwardly very well before they embark on a mission, it's a different ball game if u have a helper, but if u re not having then pls help ursef out. Even orphans that doesn't know how their parent look like are making waves...


The bottom line is, Ur brothers don't have excuses

And u, if u re not careful, Ur children will blame u for what u think u don't have power over but in reality it's in Ur control.

Buckle up man and stop the blame game

I have two brothers, one is older than me and not doing fine, the other is just a kid in secondary school, I'm the middle child.

And as for hardworking I am very hardworking, I'm paying rent, feeding, school fee at my age, if this isn't being hardworking I don't know what is, do you know what it is to fend for 6 people?

dominique:
What I'm trying to understand is how your deadbeat dad stopped your mum from earning a living. Did he bind her hands in chains and prevented her from finding something to do? Sadly your mum is one of those women who see themselves as dependents for pretty much their entire lives; from parents to boyfriends to husband to kids, a very sad way to live, mounting financial pressure on the kids too. Your story about your dad favouring his kids from his first wife is not adding up too. It's either you left out some parts or your parents did not tell you the full story about what truly ended his first marriage. If your mum played a part in it, it could be where the resentment is coming from. If your mum didn't, then your dad is a typical Nigerian man who blames everyone else for his fuckups but himself. Either ways your mum knowing she has an unsupportive husband should not have left herself redundant for this long. You have to explain the reality of your situation to her that the financial burden is getting to you, she and her other children need to get their hands on something except they feel certain jobs are beneath them. Don't burn yourself out. God forbid if you quench today, your mum and siblings will continue their lives.

Ok lemme clarify things, his first wife was a kleptomaniac, she stole things everywhere she went and most times they bring the issues home and the embarrassment was constant, I left out that part because it doesn't matter, and it will look like I'm painting my mom in a good light, my mom was an ignorant child who listens to her parents, her parents just catch her and gave her away to this monster at the age of 20, now my pain is, she didn't realize she's in soup until she dropped three kids, its too late to run to another man then, when she came to his house the first wife was gone, and even married to someone else who later died, now when my mom was still young and could get another man if she wanted, my dad guarded her like a hawk, he won't let her do anything, he was so paranoid that he fought my mom anytime my mom get friendly with anyone outside the family, he beat her so many times in our presence, I wasn't even a teenager then, my mom tried severally to get a job outside our state and he shot it down, that my mom would start cheating if she's living and working from another state, okay she should be buying and selling food stuff from states to states now because that's what her mother did, my dad fought her for this until my extended family got involved, and they all supported him that my mom should stay with her kids that what is she looking for when my dad is capable of taking care of the family, the first wife left her kids, my mom singlehandedly raised all of us I even thought they were my older siblings, we were kids then, but as we started growing up and he started feeling the brunt of raising us he started withdrawing, he first started with unnecessary anger issues and transfer of aggression, he will leave home early and come back drunk, and when he does he will fight everyone and mostly my mom till dawn, until I became and adult and stood up to him, when he realized he can't raise his hand on us anymore, he started doing something else, avoid responsibility, if you have school fee to pay, he will watch them drive you home until someone else pays or u get tired and drop out, same applies to other bills, my mom tried to open a supermarket, she raised us with it for over 20yrs and the supermarket died because it was what she was paying everything from, now there's no supermarket, and she's not educated enough to get a job, I can't turn my back on someone who took care of me throughout my childhood till adulthood.
And the simple reason he prefers his first kids now is they're sending him money, he can sell his life for money, if I get rich and start sending him money I'll be the favorite son too, it is well.

tonicyril:


Sorry bro...let analyse some issues here...

1) U did not say what Ur mother did to Ur father that cus the tension.....see, women are terrible as well, do u know how many emotional damages Ur mama might have caused Ur father that u children are not aware of?? And this is how this tins work, if a man hate his wife from young, he would probably not have feelings for her children (but I keep wondering, if u don't have feelings for her while having so much children with her?). This is dicey!.

2)U said Ur mama is unemployed due to Ur deadbeat dad, how?? Na Ur dad go find work for Ur mama ni?? ABI he dey hold her for hand say make she no work since he won't provide?? E no clear.

3)If u want to do better tins in life u better tell Ur eldest brothers to man up and face responsibilities so that u can have the chance to move ahead...lol, only u wan dey carry family in this era...I pity u

Whatever my mum did is Thier business, he is a man that is known for bailing and abandoning his responsibility, refusing to finance my university education is because of my mom too? So because my mom wronged him her children should pay for it? I dropped out cuz he refused to fund my uni education, I was very brilliant and promising, he let all that potential die because he's someone who flees from responsibility, he did the same for my brother and he also did diploma and stopped schooling.

He stopped her from doing anything, don't travel, don't get a job in another place, don't do this don't do that, you'll cheat, etc infact he was so paranoid that he stopped my mom from doing anything, this caused issues that our extended family had to interfere and his excuse was he can't let her work elsewhere or far from home that she would cheat and become a loose wife, and her kids will grow without a mother watching them, that he is capable of taking care of her that she is not supposed to work that she should be a stay at home wife, that was when my mum was agitating to earn on her own, now he has forgotten all that and withdrawn after making my mom spend years doing nothing, he also refused to finance her schooling for same reason, you won't understand sha until you meet this man.

ZIMDRILL:


How was life before his 1st wife came back into the pic? was your fathet responsible at that tome ?

You now claim he a deadbeat and your mum is unemployed, was your mum working before?

Well, at first he raised us until secondary school and stopped, my mum owned a big supermarket then, when he stopped with schooling, he started being abusive, fought my mum so many times and I didn't do anything about it, he would get drunk and come home and start fighting anyone wether you provoke him or not, he started bringing his girlfriends home, until I stood up to him and almost beat him, but people intervened and he stopped the abuse, he stopped taking care of his responsibilities, stopped feeding, stopped paying bills, electricity and all, neglected everything and pushed the weight on my mom, she took care of us until her shop died, cuz she paid everything from the shop until we grew up, you see why I feel I can't blame her? When she has money she did for me without questions, now that things are bad for her I should turn my back on her, I don't care much about my brother because he's an adult, but what about my mum who did all she could when my dad started withdrawing.

Kobojunkie:
1. I am sorry to have to tell you this, but since your mum is not developmentally challenged, she is responsible for remaining unemployed all this while. If you, your mother, and your elder brother can come together as a family to work towards clearing things off within the next 3 to 5 years, I am certain you all would be able to achieve much if you did so. Bring everyone to the table, and make a plan that has everyone—including your mother—working to contribute their individual share towards a common goal for everyone in your household. Then once you all agree, you can help each other locate employment together and then monitor progress regularly. That is how it is done in other countries, and it can also be done in Nigeria.

Problem is what will she do? I have talked to them about this and they're adamant, if we starve we starve, no one is lifting a finger until I bring money for food, I'm just tired.

Kobojunkie:
1. He isn't sick nor developmentally challenged, but he does not want to work what does he do with his time on an average day? He can always go get a job as a laborer somewhere so he can at least bring some money into the house if he is not technologically savvy... He does not have to do IT or white-collar work. So long as he is working and bringing something in, will that not be of help to you and your family at this time?

Yes you're right, but I can't force him to work na, I have done all I can, I even paid for him to learn a skill.

ZIMDRILL:


How was life before his 1st wife came back into the pic? was your fathet responsible at that tome ?

You now claim he a deadbeat and your mum is unemployed, was your mum working before?

Like I said, he gave them everything compared to us, but this whole inclination he has towards them increased when they became financially okay, I believe he will also claim I'm his son when I get rich too, that's how he is.

ZIMDRILL:


lets get some facts, was you mother a side chick or 2nd wife ? you mentioned thats he loves the children from the first wife meaning your mum came into the picture when he was married already

1 the truth might hurt you but you inheritated the problem that was started by your own mother aka either having children with married man or settling for being 2nd wife

2 your mom would have known better that being a side chic or 2nd usually doesnt end well either 1st and her kids would be blaming the new wife unfortunately in your case its you and yo mum

I think you just have to accept the mistakes from both of your parents and blame them equally and start change life for your own good and peace of mind without calling the blaming game

Yes your mum might have good reasons that made sense to marry your father at that time the reality is he ended up with children from two mothers. She might have been decieved into marrying your father but am sure there were one or two people who warned her

Accept you sitaution and stop the blaming game

From what I was told, when he came for my mom he said he's going through a divorce, and truely his first wife left him then got married to someone else (but the husband died later on) and my dad still want her back despite that, so my mom raised us with our step siblings like they were her own, as a kid I even believed they're my blood siblings, I only found out they're my step siblings during my teenage years, everything was all about deception right from the onset, he even promised to get her through higher institution, now those step siblings grew up and started hating her that she's the reason Thier mom left her husband and all of that, tbh my mom never mistreated any of them, I am very sure of this, they just started hating after reuniting with Thier mom who poisoned Thier mind against us, I can't blame her for being ignorant, she wasn't a loose girl who is exposed like girls of nowadays, she was just 20 then, very young with no exposure.

And I'm not really blaming anyone, I don't get what you mean by blaming game, I'm just wondering if I'm doing the right thing, I can't watch my family suffer when I know I can do something about it, perhaps that's my weakness, maybe I'm too kind, maybe I'm foolish, the truth is I can't watch them starve when I can do something about it.

Kobojunkie:
1. I understand you claim your father is the reason why your mother is unemployed but it is a good enough excuse for why your mother would put you and your siblings through this kind of existence abeg.

Cry for the neck of your mama abeg and let her know that the weight wey she put on your head is weighing you down. You need to let her and your siblings know all of this so she can understand how terrible the weight she helped place on your head is causing you anxieties as early as your 20s. So long as she is less than $65 and able to walk, she should be able to do work and pay off some of her own loans. You should all come together to find a way to help yourselves before this begins to cause you some serious depression abeg!

My dad is the reason why she's jobless, he promised to get her an education but he failed as usual, she has tried business and they all end up crumbling, she's trying her best, it's just not enough.

Olasyke:
As long as you have an income, trust me, it gets better. Just trust God and keep pushing. Your elder bro, is he sick or why doesn't he have a job? Even if it's something menial or was he sacked? You have to motivate him to get a job. What field are you in, freelancing?

He isn't sick or anything, just that he doesn't have anything doing, no job because he isn't educated, plus he's not technologically savvy as I am, so the whole idea of making money online is unreal to him, I paid for him to learn a skill and the skill isn't marketable because people aren't bringing jobs, he's just there, I don't look down on him though, he's not as ambitious as I am with his carefree personality, as for the freelancing, it's UI and ux niche.

My mum is unemployed, thanks to my deadbeat dad, I'm a middle child in my family, the siblings before me aren't doing well, and the two after me are just secondary school kids, my dad never invested in us educationally and in other relevant areas he's obligated to perform, infact he bailed on us and start living on his own, he even stopped financing my education I had to drop out, so I'm a uni drop out rn, he believes taking care of your children is not his responsibility and he doesn't owe us anything, that after secondary school he has tried and doesn't owe you university or anything, he always tell us that helping us isn't his obligation that his little contribution which is primary school education is mercy enough, he made it clear we won't inherit anything from him that we should go and hustle on our own, he actually loved his first kids more, he gave them everything and neglected me and my siblings, he always lament on how he prefers his first wife to my mum and we're liabilities, this is because his first children are well to do and they send him money from time to time with a stern warning that he shouldn't feed us with the money they sent, and they told him that if he wants to keep recieving the money he should alienate himself from us (me and my siblings) so he did that, my dad is a terrible person, everything I have said is just the tip of an iceberg but I won't go into everything in detail.
My problem is everything fell on me due to my dad alienating us and my mum being unemployed, among my siblings I'm the only one doing well financially, it's not enough but I make average money from time to time with freelancing.
Feeding is on me, rent, hospital bills, my mum is indepted to many people and I work tirelessly to clear her dept gradually, this made me take loans and all, now I'm in my 20s and I haven't done anything with my life, I have no savings, no car, nothing, because everything I make goes into family upkeep, everything is on me, even my older brother rely on me for recharge card, that's how bad it is, so I'm the only one carrying everything, my problem now is since family issues won't let me invest in myself, will I be in this endless circle of redundancy and turn out to be a failure later in life? Because at my age I should have savings or move forward in life, I'm always broke because any money I get goes into family problem, I don't do anything for myself and I'm close to 30.

Nyascobar1414:
@Op why do you wana leave nigerian B!shes?

Or their toto dey ooze?



You are a real nigga...
Fvvk them but dont gv em the ring...

They are good for night stands.

I prefer staying single to marrying a Nigerian girl.

I want to get married to a girl from any race except African but I don't know where to find any, note I'm not looking for clients I can scam like a yahoo boy, I want to legit date and get married to her, I have tried fb, Instagram but non of them seem interested because they think every Nigerian is a scammer, then I go to TikTok and see my fellow Nigerians married to beautiful white girls and I wonder how they do it.

soundOsonic:
Chlorinate the water. Na sulphur bacteria

Like buy chlorine and pour?

Loewe:


Presence of bacteria in the well or underground water from the sorrounding. Easiest temporary solution is to pump out the current water and allow a fresh one into the well.

If it keeps smelling, you might wanna call borehole/well experts.

It's domestic well, I don't have the means to pump it out

My well is suddenly contaminated and the water is smelling, how do I remove the ordor?

YoungLionken:
Nice decision son ..

A union shouldn't be based on pity. You have every right to quit when you're not feeling same way no more..

Since she refuses to let go, next time break her head or begin to act strange; eg. Sometimes act like you're communicating with spirits, talk in your(faked) sleep, sometimes start giggling and laughing as if you're going crazy, threaten her and watch her flee your life without trace!!!

Lmao