This is the way I read her statement,

She was young. He was older. He knew he wanted to be with her. She was too young to marry. During the time they were getting to know each other she was able to date other men and he knew about it. He was not her husband at the time. She said her "husband" in the statement because that is what he currently is. What was she suppose to say in the interview, "My husband who was my boyfriend at the time knew I was dating other men." Totally unnecessary.

Read wisely otherwise you are taking her statement completely out of context.

I wish Grizzly was Jim Iyke becaue Jim Iyke is mucho caliente. 
_{Jim has been over acting & taking things too far in his newer films. I love him but I almost can't stand to watch him because his recent acting is bordering unbelievable} 

Nonso is hot.

I like a few others here and there,  but Emeka Ike is not one of them.  He is a hot mess.

Sometimes it does but most times it doesn't.

If the man was undecided about you to begin with, the trap will only be temporary because he was unsure about wanting to be with you in the first place. He may come around out of guilt or to spend time with his child but not for you. He may even end up resenting you for "screwing up his life". The worst case scenario is that you end up pregnant and he totally dismisses you and the child, then you are screwed. Before marriage a baby is the mother's child.

Sometimes if the man knows for sure he wants to be with you it could work out but only if the guy decided he wanted to be with YOU.

Don't try to trap a man!!! Men don't like being controlled or manipulated.

One.

tega78:

@topic women want to marry up for the same reason that men want to marry fine!

My sentiments exactly!!

The answer to this topic is not profound, its nature.

I agree with some other posters.

Staph is not a STI/STD.  It sounds like you have a urinary tract infection, which could be caused by many things.  i.e. dehydration, not wiping properly, a dirty slong, having sex (especially if you are not well lubricated) which could cause bacteria to enter the urethra or having a sex marathon (a lot of sex in a short period of time).

IMO, there is no evidence you got this from your guy.  I am sure you are okay and I pray that your checkups will be well. Honestly, I feel for you and imo some nairaposters can be heartless a**holes. This is a serious issue and to throw comments like you have hiv, or he gave you aids just so they can post a comment is immature and stupid. Its obvious you are scared, you have some self esteem issues and you are being taken advantage of. So for someone to say death sentence things like that with no compassion is inhumane. I pray they don't find themselves in a similar situation because its obvious they think they are above being given a STD even though they are bleeping.

Honey, my advice to you is to admit to yourself that this guy is playing you for sex when its convenient for him.  I think this should serve as a warning to you to not let any man dictate when and if a condom is used when you have sex.  Take control of your body and ultimately your life.  If you feel as though you can not tell a guy no to having sex without a condom or you feel pressured to have sex without a condom, you are waaaayyyy too immature for a sexual relationship with any guy. If you choose to have sex without a condom it should be your choice not because someone claims they won't have sex with you without one.  Having sex without a condom doesn't show you are more or less in love or commited.  It just shows you are plain stupid & gullible.  Men don't think that because you have sex without a condom they are special and you are special to them.  They will take sex from you any way you want to give it or have it because if he ain't into you sex is just that, sex.  And when its just sex each person is responsible for themself and their sexual health.

Wake up!

One.

segzi cres:

I have this girl i usually nail on just a call away, suddenly she changed, later she heard that i've started working and next thing she did was call.
D babe: hey crespo! how are you.
ME: i'm good and you?
D babe: you sound very tired?
ME: it's nothing just work.
D babe: heard you're working now? could you send me credit, mINE'S ABOUT TO RUN OUT.

Sounds like you are the gold digger to me. You have been sleeping with this girl whenever you have an itch. Apparently, you didn't have a job while you were nailing her. She slept with you when you had no employment. You even have the nerve to come on here and brag that you could hit it whenever you called. She suddenly changed?? She should have. You didn't care for this chick at all. It shows in your attitude. I guess it was okay for her to bend over (no pun intended) whenever you asked but now you want to throw her under the bus when it was time for you to bend over and provide what she asked for. You are selfish and a user and your new job is not going to change that.

What's even more funny to me is that you think this post makes her sound like a gold digger. No, you sound like a cheap a** that thinks your crap doesn't stink because you now have a few dollars in your pocket. A real man would buy her credit because he realizes he has been sleeping with her on credit. If I was her I wouldn't even look your way again. User.

d-ROC:


, and what planet did you say you were from exactly?

Happily, not from a planet where non-sense like this exists.

Its very interesting to read that so many people think and feel that because a person is poor they have no value.

And its even sadder in my opinion for a man to think that just because a woman isn't bringing money to the table she has no value.

I just feel that some men think that they are all of that and a bag of chips and no woman is ever going to be good enough for them. Yeah, I believe they bring a little something to the table and they do a little something something for their girl but I bet they feel that the little they do is too much.  Why?  Because since she was poor she should be grateful a brother like them has shown interest in her. She should be okay with what he is offering as if she couldn't get another man. The nerve of her! From the sounds of it, it sounds like one poster's mother found him a 10 but he wanted her for free.  Like another poster said why get mad if she is asking for the very stuff you probably threw in her face to catch her attention in the first place (i.e. your education, job security, car, house, family background etc, ).  I think some men look for a reason to not marry a girl.  To another poster I'm sorry but 1 million naira for the wedding of a man to the baddest chick is not a lot of money, especially if you can afford it.

So all in all, these kind of topics tell me men still have everything about their self worth tied to their money.  Seems to me the poster must've had a girl he couldn't afford, or he felt she wasn't worth it, or she wasn't good enough for him, then he got pissed off because what he had to offer her wasn't enough even for a poor girls taste and now he wants to turn around and throw all poor girls under the bus as gold diggers.

A real man recognizes when a woman is not right for him, accepts it and lets her go.  He doesn't turn around and call her or women all kind of names because 1 woman wasn't for him.

I am in no way saying that gold diggers aren't out there but there are also a lot of men out there that want all the perks of having a woman in their life, even when she pratically behaves as wifey, while they give nothing including a commitment.

Honestly, if I had to make a choice today, I think the 1st and the 2nd guy are better for you.

The 3rd guy, is catching your eye for some reason and you find him intriguing.  He must be hot and/or have swagger because you are willing to take him without question.  But remember you have only known him for 2 months.  This may not work out the way you think.  You still have a long way to go with this one. RUN!!!

The 2nd guy sounds like a good prospect.  He is in school and he wants a relationship with you.  Their is a family connection and if your cousin is nice I don't think he would hook you up with a bad person.

The 1st guy sounds like top running for me.  He has remained through all of the men in your life for over 2 years.  He is consistent.  He is secure you have already established that.  I am sure you two have developed some kind of friendship.  I think you need to get more serious about this prospect and stop looking for non-sense like guy #3.  Start getting more personal in your conversation with guy #1. Get deeper.  Stop having the coy friendship talk you have been having with him. It seems like in #1 you have the skeleton of a good relationship and its time for you to WOMAN up to a real relationship. Its right there in front of your face. Its time to take it to the next level. If he is real he will MAN up. Just try to see him like 2 trips for a week or so at a time to see if you feel the beginnings of a romantic spark then you take it from there.

When you are looking to date OPPOSITES are great. When you are looking to marry SAME is the game.  Stop chasing rainbows! 

Again, my choices for you are #1 or #2, and run as fast as you can AWAY from 3 or you will end up regretting it.

Interesting read but rather childish.

A lot of men never want to take responsibility for the woman they pick and choose to boink. 

Why do men have to throw all women, rich or poor, under the bus because of their f'd up choices in women?

The funny thing is, poor girls will date men with money from here to eternity as long as they are BEAUTIFUL because men think with their d***s!! Then when things don't turn out in their favor they throw money, how much they did financially for a woman, and she's a gold digger in the mix. 

This is never going to end because its nature.

I wrote an entire PAGE on this issue and somehow it timed out.

Anyhow, I agree with Joobreel.

#1 - Whatever your girl had to talk to you about she mentally spent time figuring out exactly what she wanted to say long before she approached you for the discussion.  With that being said, women don't make mistakes like these unless its an emotional outburst or some other sort of spontaneous expression.

So, either your girl is messing with the guy or she is talking to him about your relationship behind your back.

You have to look at their body language because we speak more with body language than words.  I will give you a couple of tips and I repeat you MUST see all or MOST of them at the same time not just one here and there to get a good idea.

When all of you link up look for the following signs and you have to look at one person at a time:

1.  Right when they meet each other do he/she fix their clothes, hair etc,  if so they are trying to look their best.

2.  Its all in the eyes.  When they first see each other do his/her eyebrows slightly raise.  This is very quick so you gotta be quick. You have to secretly look at one of them as soon as the other person appears.

3.  When one of them leaves the room, do they quickly look back to kinda say to the other person I'll be right back so behave yourself and the other person eyes give them an okay.

4.  Look at the feet.  The feet go where the mind wants to go.  When you guys are standing/sitting together is one of his/her foot pointing at each other or is it neutral. 

5.  Mirroring behavior.  He crosses his leg, she crosses hers and often times its the same leg (look at the foot again).  He picks up his drink she picks up hers.  They are in sync.

6.  She touches herself while talking to him, laughs more, touches him.

7.  Her body is turned more toward him than you. 

8.  There is little to no personal space between them when they are talking.

9.  Is she handling an object while looking at him. If so, sexual thoughts.

10.  When he is standing/sitting is he turned toward her with his legs open or with his hands on his hips pointing toward his ______?  If so he is highlighting his sexual prowess.

11.  When and if they hug upon greeting do they come close to each other at the pelvic area or do they leave space. Think about how you hug a real friend girl or a relative.

** Its best to look at her for the eyes and mirroring behavior
** Keep in mind that some of this may be hard to gauge because you all were friends to begin with but I think you will know.

If in the end you feel that she is cheating or interested in him then you need to be mature and confront her then let the chips fall where they may. Calling her out may check her.

Good luck

One

This post struck me 2 ways.

One if you are looking for someone that has money with the intent on taking advantage of them then I say you are trifling.

However, there is nothing wrong with wanting to live a spoiled and comfortable life.  If you want bass you go where bass school and if you prefer minnows you go where minnows school. Its just as easy to fall in love and marry rich as it is to marry poor. Its a choice.

There is nothing wrong with someone that is confident and believes that they can have the best.  If one girl is willing to give it up for a taxi ride then cool that's her bag but if another girl feels she will hold out for a Benz that's cool too. Your inner worth determines your outer blessings.

Its crazy because if a person goes with someone that has nothing to offer or their life is a struggle other people talk about them negatively and if a person goes with someone that has everything to offer people and their life is a cake walk people still talk about them negatively.  The person can't win for losing. That's why you can't live your life for other people.

Why do we focus on putting down the seeker when the sugar mommy/sugar daddy also receives a benefit and they obviously feel that their money is well spent.  Who am I to judge? No one is fooling, coercing or forcing the SM/SD to do anything they don't want to do and usually when they do get used its because their main focus was on trying to buy love instead of creating it.

One

flynx:

she scares me the way she does. her kinda love is 2 much 4 my liking. will always want to do wateva i say.
its not rite.
i need someone wit a strong mind that we can communica8 equally.

No disrespect but I think your mind and communication skills are weak.  Its obvious you just aint feeling her because a person with an "equal" ability to communicate would say to her that you like a woman that is full of ish!  Nah, I'm just kidding

Seriously though, a good communicator would understand that there is no blueprint on your forehead telling someone what you like and need.  If you are interested, you have to TELL HER straight up no chaser then give her an opportunity to rise to the challenge.  That is of course, if you can see pass what you want so that you can get what you need. 

I don't understand people these days.  It seems no one wants to do basic work in a relationship to get their needs met.  They expect to get the perfect setup,  a mind reader. Sorry, there is no perfect setup!

If she aint the one, don't see her and if you run into her say hi and keep it moving, don't take her calls and don't give her mixed signals like we can be friends  . You said she is a STUNNING BEAUTY and that your mind wasn't on it but I'd bet this post that you still hit it. 

Anyway, give it a rest and then approach her for friendship later if you think she would make a good friend.

One

I will add the following:

1. Unexplained or poorly explained reasons for being unavailable.

2. Phone turned off

3. I went to sleep early syndrome

4. If a guy and his friends have cars, they may use another friends car to throw you off.

5. Guy may tell babe to pick him up so that his car is home but he isn't (refer back to #3)



One

From the title of this post, I thought I was going to read that you are interested in X's love interest.

Where's the problem because I don't see one.

This happens all the time.  It started for me in the 3rd grade so I couldn't possibly count the number of guys I have had a CRUSH on, including Jim Iyke at one time, lolol!!

It's unfortunate and I understand X is hurt but X's "love" for that guy is pure fantasy.  She has imagined all these great things with this guy, she hasn't spent any time with him and he hasn't expressed any interest in her.

X needs to pick herself up, get her sexy back and start high stepping over this.

Honestly, I wouldn't do it but if the guy likes you I don't see a problem with you pursuing him if you want.  Unless you want to count some kind of psychic romance there was NOTHING there.

In my circle the code has been that if the guy hollered at X first or if my girl went on a date with the guy then he is off limits.  So, on the approach the guy better choose wisely .  From what you have written neither one of these things happened.  If I were to pursue him I would wait for X to snap out of it a little bit first and then I would talk to her about pursuing him.  In my opinion this is how mature adults would handle it. Otherwise, both of you need to forget about him in a romantic context and focus on your studies.

One

Thanks Magz!!

Thanks Martho!!

jflex:

Gud to know u want a guy that will be all u ever really wanted.
but wait a minuite!!

do u think u can really find a guy who ll be trust worthy and loving jus by sending a post to an open forum??
why not just relax and let things take their natura;l course.
could take some time u know? but when it finally comes, it ll really be worth ur while.

i promise.

think abt it

Jflex, thanks for taking the time out to respond. 

To answer your questions, no, I don't think I will find a trustworthy and loving guy just because I posted on this forum.  Actually, I anticipate hearing from men that won't measure up in character and with the ability to love me how I like to be loved.  They will only serve to help me further appreciate my King when we do meet.   

Relax?  What part of my post suggested that I am not relaxed or interested in my relationship developing naturally.  I know what I am looking for and I am capable of waiting until it manifests but I am confident he will come.  I am a mature woman and I have a child so I'm not looking to link up with a man because he looks good on paper.

Honestly, I don't see any difference posting what I am looking for on an open forum or a dating site.  Its essentially the same thing. Maybe it will produce a good match for me, maybe it won't but I am willing to try.

For those men that do reply, I look forward to getting to know you better. I am waiting to hear from you baby 

**I'm not looking for dating advice** No disrespect intended!**

mixy12:

If you are based in the US, then what is it with the I want to settle abroad thing. well I`m 23, you are too young for me

Hello Mixy, thanks.
I would like to live in either Nigeria or Ghana as well as in the US.  With the right man I know we can make this a reality.

If you are a Gemini male that would be a plus

I am a beautiful, black 33 year old, divorced Christian mother of a 10 year old son. I look young for my age and most people usually believe I am 26/27. I am warm, funny, faithful, spontaneous, caring, affectionate and attentive. I love kids and would love to have more. I am very well educated and business savvy. I am sophisticated, cultured, well spoken, and I have always enjoyed dating non-US men. I like to spend quality time with my man. I am an American woman based in the US and I have travelled to Nigeria. My last trip was in October '08. I would love to settle abroad and in the US with my man.

I would like to meet a God-fearing, mature, educated/business minded, financially secure, responsible, African man 33-50 years old that is ready for a serious romantic relationship with a nurturing and kind woman. A man who truly understands Ephesians 5:21-33 and his duties to a woman. I don't have hangups on height and weight as long as you are well groomed and you take care of yourself. 

If this ad doesn't apply to you but you know someone that may be interested tell them to contact me.  Serious replies only!!!

My email address is:  lmnop123434@yahoo.com

I am hardworking, not rich and I don't financially support men so don't bother asking or suggesting.

Thanks!!