Mom007:
My dear sis, my heart goes out to you. You are really going through alot and you need help like now. Where exactly are you? what you need more than anything else is divine intervention! Good thing is that God is available to help even now. Message me if you want to know how to access God's help.

gerizzim:
I know plenty water water don pass garri. You probably just choose to single out dis case out of d plenty woes happening in ur marriage of my husband threw me out of the huz.

there's is a difference between my husband is having a womanfrnd outside the home aside from me and my husband chased me out and brought in anoda woman in.

Most men won't wnt to evict a good woman dt "made them" who they are as you claim you did. you said u gave up a job slot for him. He may cheat and still keep the woman bt for him to evict you, den somtin must have gone wrong on ur side.

I may be wrong but I tink d mistake u made was you relaxing after u "made him" and you not " making ur self" I mean adding value to ur own self.

you said you can't function anymore. you cnt sleep without taking alcohol. you have developed high blood pressure. where will you start from?
D truth is dis,we all owe ourselves the responsibility of our own growth in life. you believed so much in him dt you wil benefit frm his success dt u dint also make urself.

Der are plenty women in dis ur case but they DNT bait an eyelid the man left. why? because they also worked on themselve after they "made" their husbnd. they dint just relax. There is a huge difference btw "your money" and "my money".

You see dos women on Lagos island selling stuffs. dos ones dt sell jewelry, dos xpensiv lace nd clothing materials. Some of dem gave dia husbnd money for biz start up. they dint close shop or wait for husbandman yam to done because som understand dt even in marriage, some partners may change wit tym. so weda d man run go kafachan or chase dem out of d huz,they are nt so moved because they are self sufficient.

weda in marriage or out of marriage, we shud av personal goals and ambition dt we shud kip pursuing aside d collective or joint dream we have wit our spouse.

As a marid woman, u were suppose to have ur own ambition aside from ur husby. dat is where you missed it.

You are a graduate. You said you are a chemical engineer. I know engineers to be rugged and ambitious but you DNT sound like sm1 dt is self sufficient. You are talking like sm1 dt cnt get somtin done alone.

a marid woman shud not be lost cooking egusi soup and semo as wifey obligation year to year in marriage without placing a demand on herself on how to earn her own money diff frm her husby even if d man is providing all dt u need.

wen a wife doesn't tink in dt direction nd wrk towards it, she may find herself in dis unpleasant situation u are asking for advice so.
You are worrying dt the man left. u are more worried he left you because of the financial burden dt only you will be battling with taking care of ur child.

Let me ask, let's assume d man died, won't u start to adjust nd tink of wat to do to earn money to survive?

people evolve and may change behavior wit d passage of tym. Am very sure ur husbnd wasn't like dis in the first ad second year of ur marriage.

The issue is not weda the man is good or bad. Wat you shud be do right now is to set urself on action mood of survival without him.

Jewessgratitud3:


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Anashe:


I'll send you an email soon

Anashe:


Sorry to hear this OP. Just read up on your previous posts. I know you mentioned you studied Chemical Engineering and you're teaching now. What was your class of degree? Will you be willing to do a remote role if you got one? Don't worry, God has just saved you from a lifetime of misery. It is time to focus on you and your only child.

Jewessgratitud3:

Ok drop your Facebook link let me chat you up.

Jewessgratitud3:


Sorry dear I don't do emails . Are you on Facebook?

Jewessgratitud3:


I don't just talk for the sake of it. This is something that I seen happen. The man thought it was just a Nigerian thing until he saw himself in kirikiri.

If she's ready I'll give her a link to the one the woman that her husband was sent to kirikiri used. One customary court like that.

The man go pee for pant.

eyinjuege:


Sorry to hear that
Hope you've found something else doing, ad per another Job

Jewessgratitud3:
A few questions for you.

Were you legally married to him? If yes, Sue him. if not, pick up your pieces and move on.

You can't be doing this to yourself when the one you're dying because doesn't care about you. You're the one losing out in the battle.
Get a grip on yourself and look for something doing. Clean up and Polish yourself so at least another man can find you appealing and who knows? you might get lucky this time.

Life goes on. He will still treat the other woman the way he treated you if he's the type that doesn't have respect for women. In all don't bother yourself any more with what he does or doesn't do. If he comes begging, don't accept him back. Men are not worth the headache if you ask me especially when he's a dickhead. You're going to be fine without him if you can allow yourself heal and move on.


Try get closer to God. Attend church programs to get your mind off him. Engage in the work of God and pray sincerely from your heart and before you know it, he'll be a thing of the past as the holy spirit will fill your heart with peace that no man can give.

Try not to divulge your problems to anyone in any church you decide to choose. I must warn you. Face your God and your service to him there. He will surely come through for you. Alcohol will only worsen your mood and plunged you further into depression. Stop it!

Dogalmighty17:
When you use your character to frustrate a man to the point he has to seek solace in the arms of another woman, then what is your complaint for?

mysticwarrior:
Wetin you do the man?

chatinent:
What actually did you do?

Nairalander248:


Is it this delta guy?

https://www.nairaland.com/1420792/graduate-lady-dating-non-graduate#17819066

Acidosis:
I don't understand why and how an event you reported about a year ago led to this. What's the correlation?

I feel like a lot has happened over the past 12 months which, obviously, are unrelated to your daughter's molestation.

I also do not believe the impression that your husband acted unconcerned about your daughter's molestation (seeing the initial report you posted a year ago about his reaction and how mad he was about the issue).

His family's reaction is obviously wrong and evil. But trust me, nothing will ever come out of this case even from the most welcoming and sane family. You think they'll send that 15 year old niece to prison? Hell no. It will NEVER happen. The best you would get his some "serious" apology. As far as family problems are concerned, preventive measures remain unbeatable.

I think you should self reflect about your relationship with your husband in the last 12 months and decide on what to do.

Ishilove:
I find this story hard to believe. Very hard to believe

noobody:
Sorry Ms jackson

DivinegiftofGod:
Somebody used a stick with nail on it to beat you and youre still worried about another girl taking over your home? Which home if I may ask?
You're not even thinking of sueing the monster for domestic violence and locking him up, all you care about is a home that no longer exist. Now I know Why some women continue to stay in abusive marriages until they are killed..

Just look for a human rights office and report him otherwise he will get away with his evil while you go empty handed and suffer to raise his child alone.

Matix222:

Paste aza

LadyRosa2:


You're ab idiot!
A man that can't take care of one child is no man at all.Even aboki who sells sweet and chewing gum still take care of 8 children

Curiouscity:
I find it hard to believe that a man will leave his family because his wife is not working or earning any income. Sounds absurd.
I believe one of these 3 scenarios is likely going on:

A. The man is in the hands (call it laps) of another woman. He is using the silly excuse of the wife not working to leave.

B. There is another reason why the man left. But the OP is being economical with the truth. I have seen enough in my personal experience and those of friends, to know most of what we hear from ladies when relationships/marriages hit the rocks are not true. Most ladies like playing the victim cards. They tell the stories that will gain them more pity.

C. Could be related to how she handles the little money the man brings in, or her attitude towards looking for the job.

But if it is true that he left because the wife has no job, then the man still needs some growing up to do. And I will join others to advise OP to be very serious in looking for a job, to develop a new mindset of a new life without such a guy.

We4all:
OP, what is the financial capacity of your husband? Isn't he the head of family and expected to provide the basic needs for you and your kid?

If he actually walked away knowing full well you had nothing to fall back on, then you don't have a husband. That dude is tired of the marriage and is using your joblessness as an excuse.

You mentioned that you studied Chemical Engineering. How have you not been able to utilize what you studied in school? There are so many prospects for people like you, did you explore any?

I implore you to get your acts together and go search for a viable means of income. Then divorce the thing you call husband. Stooping so low to call him shows how dependent you are on him. It is making him feel important. Any man that doesn't prioritize the welfare of his family is a dog and you are better off without him.

Acidosis:



I completely understand your plight. In fact, you don't need to explain anything else for me to conclude that he's indeed wicked and needs to change. I can never understand how a man would walk out of his home, his wife, and their only child just because his wife is temporarily out of a job in a country where the majority are either jobless or grossly underpaid.

This is the best time to work on fixing your marriage. Perhaps you could find someone to talk some sense into him. A job can come later, once he's in a better place mentally and is sensible enough to be responsible.

Acidosis:



I completely understand your plight. In fact, you don't need to explain anything else for me to conclude that he's indeed wicked and needs to change. I can never understand how a man would walk out of his home, his wife, and their only child just because his wife is temporarily out of a job in a country where the majority are either jobless or grossly underpaid.
Thank you soooo much. I'll try talk to someone he will listen to, and hope for the best.

This is the best time to work on fixing your marriage. Perhaps you could find someone to talk some sense into him. A job can come later, once he's in a better place mentally and is sensible enough to be responsible.