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 Education / Admision Problems by mustiz(m): 7:44pm On Aug 27, 2008 |
havn problems wif admision? giv ur details and ur Phone Number call u and we'll see wat i cant do bout it? i gat a few strings i could pull u kno. Me Number :08035826783 |
| Education / Re: Oau Post Ume Is Out Check0 It Out 2008/2009 Session by mustiz(m): 11:47am On Jul 31, 2008 |
Any one who can confirm de release date? i was told the rewsult would be out by today. but men bonam dat e-portal site is fucking up. |
| European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) / Re: Chelsea Fans: Identify Yourselves Here (Old) by mustiz(m): 5:28pm On Mar 12, 2008 |
1 COOL BLUE COMING UP BITCHES. WE'LL SEND DA GUNNERS BULLET BACK TO DEM ON DA 23RD. |
| Forum Games / Re: One-word Association by mustiz(m): 9:16am On Mar 06, 2008 |
[size=13pt]university[/size] |
| Jokes Etc / Why I Fired My Secretary by mustiz(m): 9:36am On Mar 05, 2008 |
[b] I woke up early, feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought, "I'm another year older," but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say, "Happy birthday, dear." All smiles, I went in to breakfast, and there sat my wife, reading her newspaper, as usual. She didn't say one word. So I got myself a cup of coffee, made some toast and thought to myself, "Oh well, she forgot. The kids will be down in a few minutes, smiling and happy, and they will sing 'Happy Birthday' and have a nice gift for me." There I sat, enjoying my coffee, and I waited. Finally, the kids came running into the kitchen, yelling, "Give me a slice of toast! I'm late! Where is my coat? I'm going to miss the bus!" Feeling more depressed than ever, I left for the office. When I walked into the office, my secretary greeted me with a great big smile and a cheerful "Happy birthday, boss." She then asked if she could get me some coffee. Her remembering my birthday made me feel a whole lot better. Later in the morning, my secretary knocked on my office door and said, "Since it's your birthday, why don't we have lunch together?" Thinking it would make me feel better, I said, "That's a good idea." So we locked up the office, and since it was my birthday, I said, "Why don't we drive out of town and have lunch in the country instead of going to the usual place?" So we drove out of town and went to a little out-of-the-way inn and had a couple of martinis and a nice lunch. We started driving back to town, when my secretary said, "Why don't we go to my place, and I will fix you another martini." It sounded like a good idea, since we didn't have much to do in the office. So we went to her apartment, and she fixed us some martinis. After a while, she said, "If you will excuse me, I think I will slip into something more comfortable," and she left the room. In a few minutes, she opened her bedroom door and came out carrying a big birthday cake. Following her were my wife and all my kids. And there I sat with nothing on but my socks. [/b] |
| Jokes Etc / Please Dont Sleep Over This! by mustiz(m): 10:03am On Feb 29, 2008 |
[b][size=15pt]Whats the difference between a blond and a Mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it. A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. Guaranteed like heck, he thinks to himself. But lets see what they think they can do. He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, If you can catch me, you can have me. Well, without a second thought he takes off after her (like who wouldn't). A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through he kisses the girl one last time and thinks to himself with a nod, I like the way this company does business. For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure enough, he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat more slender physique, not to mention the method of treatment, he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 LB weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their workout schedule might be like this time. As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, If you can catch me, you can have me. He's out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch her. But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to the next four days, For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds. I love this company, he thinks to himself, I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun. Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and subscribe to the companies 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. Are you sure, sir? asks the representative on the phone. This is our most rigorous program. Absolutely, says he, I love your program. haven't felt this good in years! The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200 pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, If I can catch you, I can have you.  [/size][/b] |
| Jokes Etc / Hows This by mustiz(m): 4:46pm On Feb 28, 2008 |
[b][size=15pt]A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened, but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs. A riot broke out, and all the invited guests were hauled off to jail. In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened. "Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs." "That must have hurt," said the judge. "No kidding," said the best man. "I broke three of my fingers." I was once in a nice family-style restaurant when I observed some kids supergluing the dishes to the table. They also attached the silverware, napkins, salt, pepper, etc. If it wasn't already nailed down, it was now. They stayed long enough to let the glue set, and then paid and left. They watched as the poor busboy tried to get the stuff off of the table. Also funny is supergluing a quarter to the sidewalk. I know its old, but in the city, with the diverse types of people around, it gets really amusing. I watched this old lady whack at it with her cane for about 10 min. cursing, 0-9 Extremely slow. Even a trip to the store with Mom seems like going to Albania - by covered wagon. Most common phrase: "Is it Christmas yet?" 10-19 Still slow. Scientific evidence seems to show that school clocks actually move backwards just before the bell rings. 20-29 Alternately fast and slow. Weekends seem shorter and shorter, yet paychecks seem further and further apart. 30-39 Time achieves warp speed, except when put on hold on the telephone and forced to endure anything longer than 5 seconds of Muzak. Most common phrase: "Is it Christmas already?" 40-49 Still fast. Seems like just yesterday when Jerry Brown said he might run for President. Wait a minute! It WAS yesterday when he said that. Also, Dick Clark still looks the same. Could time be slowing down? 60-69 Hey! What happened to 50-59? 70 + Unbelievably fast. Wars used to last years. Now it seems like they're over in a couple weeks. [/size][/b] |
| Jokes Etc / Stop Laufin by mustiz(m): 5:48pm On Feb 27, 2008 |
[size=15pt][b]The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, madam. I've come to, " "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in. "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of babies" "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat" After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out!" "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me" "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results" "My, that's a lot of, " gasped Mrs. Smith. "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure" "Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London" "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with" "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look" "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. "Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your, um, equipment?" "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we can get to work." "Tripod  ??""Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? , Good Lord, she's fainted!!" Little Johnny catches his parents doing it. He yells in, "Hey, Pops! What are you doin'?" His father says, "Son, I'm filling your mother's tank." Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning." [/b][/size] |
| Jokes Etc / Fresh Meat by mustiz(m): 11:46am On Feb 22, 2008 |
[size=15pt] One day, a wife goes up to her husband and asks for twenty dollars to buy meat. "Are you crazy?" says the husband, who pulls her over to a mirror. "Let me show you something? This twenty-dollar bill is mine. The one in the mirror is yours. Get it?" The wife nods. The next day, the husband returns home to find a freezer full of meat. Angry, he asks his wife about it. She pulls him over to the mirror and lifts up her skirt. "See the one in the mirror? That's yours. This one is the butcher's."[/size] |
| Forum Games / Re: Saying I Love In Different Languages by mustiz(m): 11:43am On Feb 22, 2008 |
[size=15pt]Ina Kaunar Ka[/size] |
| Jokes Etc / A Small Problem by mustiz(m): 11:39am On Feb 22, 2008 |
[size=15pt]A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small. ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'' she asks. The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'' Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, ''I know how to make them larger!'' ''How!?!?!?'' she asks. ''Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.'' ''Well how long does it take?'' she asks. ''They should expand over the years,'' he answers. ''How did you know that?'' she wonders. ''I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?''' [/size] |
| Jokes Etc / Three Nuns by mustiz(m): 11:32am On Feb 22, 2008 |
[b][size=15pt]Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, "We don't want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?" The mother told them, "Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours." So the nuns left thinking, "What can I do that's unholy?" The next day they went to the mother one at a time. The mother said to the first nun, "What unholy thing did you do?" and the nun said "I stole a kid's bike." The mother said, "I guess that will do, go drink some holy water. When the nun did she wasn't a nun anymore and she left the convent. The second nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?" The nun replied, "I slept with a married man!" The mother said, "Well, that's sinning. Go drink holy water." The third nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?" The third nun said proudly, "I pissed in the holy water!"[/size] [/b] |
| Jokes Etc / Three Nuns by mustiz(m): 11:29am On Feb 22, 2008 |
[b][font=ComicThree nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, "We don't want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?" The mother told them, "Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours." So the nuns left thinking, "What can I do that's unholy?" The next day they went to the mother one at a time. The mother said tot he first nun, "What unholy thing did you do?" and the nun said "I stole a kid's bike." The mother said, "I guess that will do, go drink some holy water. When the nun did she wasn't a nun anymore and she left the convent. The second nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?" The nun replied, "I slept with a married man!" The mother said, "Well, that's sinning. Go drink holy water." The third nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?" The third nun said proudly, "I pissed in the holy water!" Sans Unicode][/font][/b] |
| Education / Re: any news by mustiz(m): 5:54pm On Nov 28, 2007 |
Thanks so much Abium My name is on the second list. I thought u are 419 but now i can see that we have few truthful Nigerians Thanks so much. I will still see u again |
| Sports / Chelsea N Manchester : United by mustiz(m): 4:33pm On Oct 08, 2007 |
[size=20pt]imagine both chelsea and manchester fans unda da same banner ? we'll be unstoppable we'll be great we'll be earth shakers we'll be in da books of history. just take a minute think about it den reply.  ( please no insults )  [/size] |
| Sports / Re: Strictly 4 The Blu At Heart'n'mind by mustiz(m): 5:41am On Oct 04, 2007 |
[size=15pt]unfortunately we won our match against vallencia 2-1 1st goal was an own goal created by micheal essien 2nd goal was scored by dider drogba[/size]
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| Dating And Meet-up Zone / Re: In Need Of A Gal by mustiz(m): 5:10am On Oct 04, 2007 |
[size=23pt]make una no mind Abium jare we work at de same plce as web engineers. @ sanrima dey born dem well make dem try am again make dem even try am sef dem no go fi cry reach na dem papa go help dem cry. and about her u could easily guess wat happened[/size] |
| Romance / Re: Men Are Full Of Shit! by mustiz(m): 4:50am On Oct 04, 2007 |
[size=18pt]@ pterygott wetin you dey kill dem with ur ass , boobs or na ur monkey faze[/size] [size=25pt] OR [/size] [size=23pt]you don go kiss ADISA ? [/size] [size=20pt]@poster because ur last man broke ur heart doesnt mean dat we r all devils and bside ifink u gal r far worse dan we guys i mean u could dump ur guy for another guy u havent even gat feelins for just for doe/kudi/owo/ego/moni e.t.c.[/size] y not try moi!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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| Dating And Meet-up Zone / Re: In Need Of A Gal by mustiz(m): 4:39pm On Oct 02, 2007 |
[size=25pt]for dose who thought i wuz gay may ur ballz b infested wif CRAW CRAW and ur hands b too short 2 scratch dem THANKSSSS!!!!![/size] |
| Dating And Meet-up Zone / Re: In Need Of A Gal by mustiz(m): 4:22pm On Oct 02, 2007 |
asn in u guys dat fink im gay ar soo DUMB!!!!!! i meant 2 ask if dere's any chickta out dere in need of a guy 4a light relationship |
| European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) / Re: Chelsea Fans: Identify Yourselves Here (Old) by mustiz(m): 6:52am On Oct 01, 2007 |
[size=15pt]this is who we are and will be 4 life nofin can change it nor will anything change it[/size] [size=20pt] all hail da blues as we march unto eternal glory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/size]
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| Sports / Strictly 4 The Blu At Heart'n'mind by mustiz(m): 6:42am On Oct 01, 2007 |
[size=17pt]If you are a real tru blu fan, come in here and lets talk about our club. Our new signings, coach style of play and everything, what do you feel about them. What do you feel about the new Chelsea? mustirulz@yahoo.com[/size]
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| Literature / Re: Get A Gifted And Talented Comedian That Can Make You Loose 2 Of Your Ribs! by mustiz(m): 5:49am On Oct 01, 2007 |
[size=17pt]as in seriously don't eva try this in Ajegunle if not ull get beaten to death as it so dry i got dehydrated while reading it [/size] |
| Education / University Of Ife's Post-ume Date by mustiz(m): 10:09am On Sep 27, 2007 |
[size=14pt]uni-Ife is holding dier pst UME on da 29th of september, 2007. for the form you could go to the schools premises. for mor info. u could call:08088803808.[/size] |
| Dating And Meet-up Zone / In Need Of A Gal by mustiz(m): 9:02am On Sep 26, 2007 |
[size=15pt]in need of a cute guy? call 08088803808[/size] [size=25pt]( sorry dat was a veryyyyyyyyyyyyy big mistake )[/size] |
| Education / Re: Neco Result by mustiz(m): 8:59am On Sep 26, 2007 |
yup it is |
| Education / Re: Waec Result Checking by mustiz(m): 8:51am On Sep 26, 2007 |
contac me on 08088803808 and we'll discuss |
| Education / Scratch Card (waec) by mustiz(m): 8:45am On Sep 26, 2007 |
need a result checker scratch card for WAEC? holla at 08088803808 and ill giv u da acct no 2 pay into once uv din dat ill send da serial and pin 2 ur fone numba. |
| Education / Re: WAEC Online Registration (waeconline.org.ng) by mustiz(m): 4:56am On Sep 26, 2007 |
for waec scratch cards call 08088803808 |
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