If really where the man comes from there is a process of cleansing then ttthey have to go for it.... That is if they believe in it.
Even if you are separated you are still married and as such its adultery. Especially if traditionally the marriage still held at that time....
So if he lays emphasis on it then go for the cleansing.
Regards the visions.....
I reserve my comments... If I tell someone his or her spouse is cheating, there's a good likely hood that it is true. This is because it's not uncommon.
However, it makes life allot easier to deal with God directk and put your faith in him..
His grace is enough you don't need a seer to communicate with God.
Allot of marriages and family bonds have been disrupted by prophesies...

It's really sad.
Ironically she put her children in the situation they are, that they can't even help her if they wanted to.
Sad but she was heartless.

You seem to be in love and you seem to appreciate allot of her qualities.
Many women when the first come to diaspora have some ideas in their head.. but very soon the start the hustle.
She will see other women and what they are doing and that will motivate her.
If you have a good woman, don't let her go. I would advise you get there, spend some months and really access for yourself the situation.
Be honest to her, tell her or her families it's new terrain for you and you don't know how you will adjust.
A few months ths there and you will have the answer to the question you asked here.

AmazonTopaz:


Thank you oo.

We really need to be sitting our men down before they get married nor be only women we go dey talk to.

Times have changed and women should be accorded respect in the home.

I don't get why we cannot hold men responsible for their actions why must we blame women and absorb men?Since men are the head of the home is it not a disservice to them when we try to absorb them of responsibility What makes a leader if he cannot take responsibility for his actions as well.

I really had to laugh....
The sad reality is that there are so many women out there desperate to get married and doing everything for a man to propose... And you want to sit the men down
Well my imput is not about disrespecting women or exhonorating men..

AmazonTopaz:


The husband doesn't know how to communicate to her,the husband ignores her and keeps malice with her.

You skipped those bad sides of his to focus on her alone and what she did wrong which I wouldn't excuse but why do women like you know how to absorb men of blame?

Also @bolded parts,Using the word 'obey' for an adult doesn't seem right respect is the better word or listening which for me should apply to both of them.

Also what if the husband's decision is wrong the woman shouldn't voice her displeasure on it and correct him?she should always be a yes sir yes sir woman Ah

Call me modern or whatever but in a civilised household a husband should not make the final decision and always override his wife without getting to understand her view point.I don't understand that kind of marriage but as for me I have never submitted to rubbish.A woman can also have a final say at times because she can be right as well.

The husband does not talk to her keeps malice.... Well you could call it shutting down?
When a woman admits she is verbally abusive, hurtful and offensive, then it is logical that there would be some reaction.
Probably that is his way of avoiding a physical confrontation or the situation escalating.
I don't see how there can be any reasonable communication when one party is abusive.

Obiedience is better than sacrifice... That's a citation from the Bible...
I was referring to her giving the husband what is essential to him and not think that her other sacrifices can compensate that.
So your interpretation of the word to mean she should obey her husband was no intended by me.

Futhermore, do you correct your husband... That's rather a word used for a child. No you bring up your own suggestions in a respectful manner... and respecting someone also means respecting their decisions..

I guess it eventually boils down to you answering the question... In a union of 2 who is entitled to the final say?
Someone must have the final say and also take responsibility for the consequences..
And that makes that person the leader.
That's the law of nature and functions every where.
A husband who has good leadership qualities will not disregard his wife's input.

Caaz:
Madam mutter take it easy with your dos and dont's you ain't the one inside the marriage.
You have completely zeroed the man from your dos and dont's hence making the lady looked like Lucifer.
You think marriage is easy abii?


E fara bale iya wa.

Marriage is not easy but it can only work on a foundation and a key part of that foundation is respect and submission.
My advice is not out of the wind.

You obviously haven't understood your problem.
The problem is not the issues but You!
You have absolutely no respect and regard for your husband.
Obiedience is better than sacrifice... All those efforts and sacrifices you think you are making are worthless if you don't accord your husband his respect and make him feel like a King at home.

Women want to be treated like queens but there has to be a King to crown the queen.

Your husband want a wife that respects him and regards him and you are busy writing a thesis on irrelevant issues.
There are many issues that come up in a marriage but they can be resolved with respect.
Also you should be ready to submit to your husband and his decisions. .. Because when there are 2 different opinions someone has to have the final say.
What you need to do is change your ways, stop the insults and stop the confrontations.
Seek solutions and not challanges.
Swallow your pride and go and apologise.. Real apology... not I am sorry okay if you don't accept...

I wish you all the best and proper healing.

Unfortunately in the past when I gave assistance, some never even bothered to come back and give situation report.
Like was the treatment effective or not.
The just kind of disappeared.

As a parent of older children I can tell you that far worse than the injury is when the child does not apologize.
Go to your father and apologize. Even if he does not accept immediately... You have started the healing process.

Please give him appropriate milk but only after breastfeeding.
Sometimes it takes longer but then the milk increases.
... and if it doesn't just give the bottle.
It isn't your fault

Unfortunately I lost a dear one who refused to ake medica treatment and relied on the anointing water.

With all the problems in Nigeria, insecurity, economic crisis... The safety of our youths is of great concern..
Some are picking up weapons to fight.
It is wrong for parents to bury their children.
It is wrong for our youths to be sacrificed in obtaining goals...
Please let's talk to the younger generation to follow the path of peace.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUpXUqC3Ih4

Please look for someone older who has finished school... There are enough of them out there.

Happy married life.

This is awful.
I can understand her pain but the children are not to blame.
Accept them in. Let your mothers heart be stronger than the heart of a wife.

This is how it is done in some countries...
But displaying people's name publicly is a security risk.
The names should have been inside.

I remember as a child growing up in Nigeria. If a child was caught mastrubating it was a big offene... The punishment was often very painful and very humiliating. Some children even got the pepper treatment.
How should we actually react when our children mastrubate...
Is mastrubating a sin?
Mastrubation is not a sin.
We need to clear our children up on it.
How not to touch their private parts in public and how it isn't sinful or evil but it shouldn't become an obsession.
Humiliating a child and inflicting pain could make a child grow up to have perverted desires.
Kindly support the stop of child abuse under the guise of training by sharing this info.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xtA6iuqZoQ

I think sometimes it is the finances that limits the parents

This could lead to serious health issues later in life.
Throwing up can lead to serious health issues.

God let her family be located.

Most people don't make a will.
They just exit the world hoping we type RIP, meanwhile they leave their families on earth with no chance of peace.
Enimity and fight, sometimes even to the last man standing.
Even if you hardly have anything you can make a will yourself.
If you have property and also a complex family, please make a will.
Sometimes without a will the property is lost to those you wanted to have it. Also so much time and money is lost in the court.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaJtN4y7AGg

God let her be safe.

The man's will is binding.
In the will he would have named an executor.
It is only this executor that is entitled to go for probate.
The woman will get nothing, as the man's will is binding.
Sorry but the man should have made a new will.

The woman and her family should have disclosed this to the man.
That is a major issue that ought to have been laid on the table
Such issues get worse e when the woman is pregnant ...
If he can't cope then he should be honest about it.

This is heartbreaking.
May God help them bear this loss.

Hathor5:
@mutter

Very important topic but I do not see how we can bring men to open up about it and seek help if needed. Very few (very confident/mature) men can do this. There is no issue more delicate than this.

That is so true. It also really helps if the wife can help the man to come out with it by making him understand that there are other ways of satisfying her and removing the pressure and fear from them.

The army officer has no right to do that.
Your story sounds genuine.
Is this in Lagos?
Post details of the officers name and rank.

Please consult his family since we don't have adequate Reha in Nigeria.

See this is the problem when you help people and they don't know their boundaries....
Your friend should know he has to pack out.
You can't allow it.
Even if you thrust both... People will still talk.

It's really sad.
There should be a way of communities gathering together to give students reduced loans or part scholarship.
Don't blame the parents, they can only do the best with the resources they have.
It is so sad that Nigeria cannot make this affordable for students, reduce fees and at least give subsidized meals...

Some of us actually cripple our children by giving in to all their demands when they are young.
These children grow up entitled and don't have the discipline to strive and fend for themselves later
They keep demanding and demanding and expect you to continue to maintain their life style when they are young adults.
We need to teach children that they can't always have what they wish for.
They have to learn to fend for themselves.
We have to draw a boundary at some point.
I look forward to your comments...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zV7J_dO90sI