BigFrog:
Mod and seun,

Please I don't want this thread on the front page for privacy reasons. Please kindly respect this act before any further decision is taking without my notice.


Here is the story. I rented a shop I am still nurturing. I haven't made money in the said shop compaire to money I keep spending for maintainance. Only hoping one day everything will get better if not I will have to pack out.

Now my landlord called me to discuss some important issue which I obliged.

He told me he is trying to get a loan from Lapo Microfinance Firm. And they required two guarantor with operating business like shop which they will come to visit and make confirmation which the guarantor will agree and confirm to have sign the document.

He said he already told them that he has land and document for Collateral. Which they refuse as they only want a business premises. He said he doesn't want people to know that he want to collect the loan and the loan is for business purposes. Because of the talk and the news will spread that he is collecting loan. He said because I am calm and matures that why he is telling me. Those kind thing and I should help him I have nothing to fear or worry.

He said he will be servicing the loan every week for 6 months and he was sure of paying as it's just half a million. He was so confident of paying it. Of which I know he cannot run away because of half a million.

But I don't just understand the implications of such loan. What if he failed to service the loan will th loan firm come for me? I was just thinking it will be only if he run away that when they will come for me because I don't understand this Microfinance loan.

I need advice as I need to see in less that 24 hours time

Dear Op, please, on no account should u stand as guarantor or surety for anyone, especially when money is involve, even for normal oaths form, if the person isn't ur family which u could vouch for, never fill in that guarantorship post.

Let him (ur landlord) go look for his family members to stand for him. Many borrow with true intention of paying back, leaving out the fact that, they aren't in control of all variables involve, circumstances beyond their control may arise, hence, causing them to default.

When people need ur help over a situation, they act the #puppy way, looking all calm and pitiable, but after such help must have been rendered, they become a #tiger u wouldn't be able to face. Biko, don't dare take panado over someone else's headache.

PrinceOfLagos:
The FG as a matter of urgency make DNA tests cheap

So many men are fathering children that ain't theirs

So many

Not just cheap, but compulsory as well. So sad for the man.

bummyla:
I went to visit my laundry man, who has worked for me for 10 years, all those years, I have never visited him, to see where he lives, now his 16 years old son, works for me, every weekend, and he is such a hard working young boy and I am beginning to love him like my son, so I decided to drive him home, and to visit his dad.


When we got to the house, the man was surprised and welcomed me, he asked his son to quickly have his bath and go somewhere for him.

Wow! He stripped! Since the bathroom is facing where I sat, he went in and came in front of us. No privacy! Changed and went for the errand! As if it was no big deal.

When I was about to go, the dad asked to me drop him somewhere, which I obliged, and he needed to change into a better clothes. I wanted to step outside to give him the needed privacy, but the door was very difficult to open, he begged me to relax , wait for him to change, so he can open the door for me, that only them know how to open the door, just like him son, he stripped, but it took him longer to sort out his clothes, and I was wondering, is this what he goes through every day with his family (Wife, 3 sons - Oldest 25- Youngest 16 and a 12 years old daughter) And he had all his children in that one room apartment.

families that live in one room, how do you people cope with privacy?



families that live in one room, how do you people cope with privacy

Growing up in a place like Ajegunle, I used to see it as normal situation then as almost all houses around have same or similar settings, where families, regardless of their numbers cohabit in a single room, all thanks to penury. It was so bad that those who managed to afford room & parlour or two rooms to themselves were seen as rich or comfortable, not knowing it was all suffering & smiling lifestyle altogether. Privacy wasn't even an existing word to me. But as time goes on and I got to change environment, couple with some level of exposure, I had a change in narrative. It was a bad experience I wouldn't want to subject my children into.

GHETTO LIFE NO BE LIFE

TVTKOKO:
I don't know how God is doing this, but since i became adult I've never for once lacked money even though I came from a very very poor background

Are u by any chance a CANCER i.e. ur birthday fall between June 21 - July 22?

Uyi168:
..
I don't trust many of these videos these days.

why did they even video in the first place

Same here. Most of those were stages. Looking at the boy's countenance, he was obviously looking at the camera.
The incidence wasn't even caught on camera (CCTV), but a Tiktok staged video. The guests laughing over it when they ought to have felt insulted is another tip.

Ghabz:
I own my POS Biz that i have been operating for over a year. I've seen different scenes where customer will come to scam us of the money in our hand (being money of either family memebers, friends or relatives), to assist our biz this drying time.

Unfortunately, this Thursday, Emmanuel with corper's hand book came to my shop to collect money. He did a transfer to me but wasn't successful. I was like this is a corper going for CDS and am once in his shoe, let me give him the money & i collect his number (hoping that he'l retry it). And that was how he went away with my money. I've tried his number several times but he refuse to pick my calls. I use a strange number to call him stil the same.

ps: I've not been so loose like this before...maybe that day wasn't my day sha.

PLS I STILL HAVE HIS NUMBER WITH ME, I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHERE HE LIVES. I'LL APPERCIATE ANYONE WHO CAN HELP ME TRACE/TRACK HIM in other to collect my 10k back.
Thanks

Ur mistake is attaching emotion to ur buz which is not healthy in such line of business. As far as POS hustle is concern, every customer, just as every operator of the service is a potential scammer. Both the bushmeat and the hunter are liable to be taken advantage of.

Since u said u tried calling him with strange number, but he wasn't picking still, it might just be that something unfortunate happened to him that he couldn't attend to calls, but chances of him taking advantage of ur kind heart is on the high side. U tempted him bro which is not ideal with the present situation of the country. At first, he might have the intention of truly sending u the money, but temptation might just get the best of him by having a second thought about u not being able to locate him should he default, and the money would go a long way for his sustainability. It takes moral upbringing, fear of God and high level of discipline not to give in to such temptation with the country present situation.

My advise is for u to learn from it, count ur loss and moved on. Thou, it wouldn't be easy to just let go, but that appear to be the only viable option u are left with, unless miracle probably happen that he (corper) eventually fulfil his part of the bargain.

Sorry about it. May God reimburse ur loss.

Aduke23:
Good morning, everyone.

I've a serious problem. I would say it's serious for it's making me offending my parents and making them have some negative thoughts and feelings about me that there's likelihood that I may not be a merciful child in future.

My major problem is, I feel shy going out and only goes out only when it's absolutely necessary. Even when my parents wanna send me on an errand sef, I try avoiding it because of this. Even when there's a family function I try avoiding it and only go when it's necessary. Even when I get there, I sit where people wouldn't see me.

When I have places to go and it's necessary, I always ensure its night. Or very early in the morning before there's crowd everywhere, coz I stay is a ghetto-like area in Lagos.

I care about what my parents think of me. I offended my dad yesterday's night, and I doubt if he will ever forgive me. He sent me an errand although which also doesn't require me to go outside though. I did the same to my mum on a day before new year. I'm really saddened by this and really want to change for good. I will be 23 by may, and I'm really saddened by this. My parents are having another thoughts about me that I may not be merciful child even though I'm a female.

U might just be an introvert. Thou, shyness and introversion are too different things, but they are intertwine and sometimes, subjective.

EkehPraise:
Nobody genuinely cares about you not even family members

There is no month that goes by that I don't support nuclear and extended family members with cash and foodstuffs especially during festive seasons. But this particular Christmas that just passed I decided not to share anything to anyone and guess what? Nobody called (not even my cousins whom I sometimes send pocket monies) to even check up and know if I am doing okay

Bro, situation like this is dicey. If they still call to check up and show concern as per u not doing what u used to do for them at a period like this, ur subconscious mind could still term it to them only calling, not just they care, but cos of what they want or expect from u. Or why would they call at a time like this and not prior to it?

Bottomline is, u are EXPENTANT which is not entirely good as one tends to always feel disappointed whenever such expectation wasn't met. Too much of expectations is what breed disappointment. Them not getting in touch could even be cos they try to be sensitive about the country present situation as it hit lots of people.

Just learn not to be expectant from anybody, and keep doing whatever things that is convenient for u. Give as much as u can regardless of whether or not they show appreciation, urs is to play ur part and leave the rest to nature. Just never inconvenient urself and always make urself priority over any other.

In as much as I don't support the idea of marrying someone out of it, I must admit u are a very confuse and insensitive person. It's just so unfortunate situation like this is a disadvantage on the female gender. A similar situation is like that of a secondary school girl who got impregnated by fellow secondary school boy, chances are that, such situation could put an end to the girl's education, but not the boy, not cos it's only the girl that deserve to suffer the consequence, nature is just unconsciously in favour of the boy, being a male. Reason I'm of the notion that, we are naturally not equal, gender wise. Nothing like equality between both gender, it's nature's call, not human. Sorry for derailing a bit.

Back to the topic of discourse, Op, what I see hear is just a thing of ur mind, u've conditioned ur mind to see her the way u are seeing her, all thanks to the shortcoming (her height) been pointed out by ur family. Female mostly are not tall, only few among them are, in comparison with that their male counterpart. Reason u see force recruitment height requirement for female always below that of male cos they are conscious of such natural attribute. That's ur major concern which shouldn't be. It is understandable that we all have our preference list when it comes to choosing a life partner, u should have stayed away from those (her kind) that doesn't tick ur list, instead of smelling a food u know u wouldn't like to eat. Who does that?

Sit urself down and have a sober reflection over the situation. Now imagine the table turns that, u are the girl and she is u, how would u feel if she's trying to pull the string u are attempting presently? Answer this with all sincerity. I ain't trying to prick ur conscience, but just piss over u trying to indirectly shield urself from consequence of an act u both guilty of. She's of marriageable age for crying out loud, it's wickedness to tempt her kind with marriage, then pull out after they must have fallen to one's trap.

Moreso, u bringing up the fact that, u once had a bad marriage in time past is a flimsy excuse to escape reality and justify ur intent which is very shallow to think of. No two people, likewise two marriages are the same. U once had a failed marriage doesn't mean that's how it will always be. From ur narration, the girl tick all the box for a responsible lady, except for her nature, height wise. U don't expect 100% from human, but God. If she (the girl) is been called upon to tell her ideal kind of man, u urself would surely fall short of her dream man, but this is life, it doesn't always give us what we really want, but what we probably deserve.

I wouldn't advise u on anything as I ain't the one in ur situation, plus I'm of the school of thought that, THE BEST ADVISE U CAN HAVE IS THE ONE U GIVE URSELF. No matter what anyone advise, u still gonna end up doing what u want to do, it's ur calling afterall. U are just here to consciously and unconsciously seek support and justification from people so as not to feel too guilty over ur intent. BUT one thing I can assure u is the fact that, irrespective of ur final decision, u will surely REGRET, I will only implore u to just CHOOSE UR REGRET, WISELY. May God guide u right.

dedons:
I was born into an average family with my parents always doing their best to make us happy during Christmas celebration very year.

Unfortunately, I ventured into business this year but lost everything due to the evil employees I had. They intentionally wrecked the business and disappeared. I've been weeping since October till date and left with nothing.

I woke up this morning but couldn't say a word of prayers, instead I found myself weeping again. I do hope on God for divine provision and restoration.

It is well.

Bro, no amount of consolation or advise from anyone could reverse the done deeds. It's normal u feeling the way u feel as per ur situation, everyone in such similar situation would, but the reality is, the downfall of a man is not the end of his life. When there is life, there is always hope.

U might think u've lost it all, but that's financially as u obviously gained experience from such misfortune, whatever u gonna be trying again, u wouldn't be starting from BEGINNING, but from EXPERIENCE which happens to be the best teacher. I pray God in His mercy grant u the strength and zeal to cross this phase. Be strong Sir.

Op, it's a good thing u didn't yield to her plea, people like that are very toxic. Imagine keeping malice just cos someone is been professional with her business, is that not witchcraft on her part? .
People like that would familiarize themselves with u and make u feel comfortable around them, then they strike when u least expect it. Kudos, I commend ur stand. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Reno with his funny antics when it comes to party or politics matter. His sentiments has always been laughable on those parts.
He will be shock when PDP Presidential Candidate Ticket goes to #Saraki come 2023. Saraki is a far better candidate than Atiku.

A man is not dead, even if he stop breathing; he is dead, when his dignity is snatched away from him.

A man without money is a man without dignity.

Poverty is one of the worst things that can ever happen to man.

We should just keep fighting against poverty, and not against fellow men.

Mercychen:
I'm just fed up!
She does things I'll never do and if I do, I'll be the first to call and make up.

She's fond of one silly character ( cutting my call in the middle of our conversation) and that she did again this morning that made me delete her number.

Ok. I did a little renovation in my crib. So I needed a tile cleaner and called her to supply me ( she's into household products). She told me the price and I said ok. Bring it down, so the boys working for me can clean the tiles. She now said, i should pay for her transportation. I was like, why? It's your biz, you if you want to sell, you sell besides I'm into production of household cleaners and reagents so it's something I can produce but I'm looking at shuttling between going to the market and supervising the ongoing work in my house, the time is not there that was why I said let me buy from her.
So, she insisted I must pay for transportation fare.

This morning, I called her to bring the product that I'll give her part of the T-fare, she said the chemical is not available that she'll have to go and get materials to produce first. So I said i can't wait.
Later I said ok, just come around and play with me, lets just sit together and supervise. I told her to come with her baby so we can play. I now told her not to worry that I'll give her T-fare The next thing she just billed me times two of her T-fair to and fro. I said, for what? She just cut the call.

Now, it's been years she came to my place. Always giving excuses about tending to the children, her business and other duties in the home to which I try to understand. So Ive been the one going there almost twice every week because I have two schools in her area. So, on days I have those schools, it's her place I retire to after school and we would jist till night before I take my leave.
Same thing with calls. Shell hardly call and when I call, she'll take it for granted to the point where any little disagreement or if things are not going her way, she'll cut the call.

When she did it this morning, I got angry and deleted her contact and I want to stop calling her. I think I'm being taken for a fool and she trusts the kinda person I am that once I make a U-turn, it will be difficult to turn back. It's just that I don't have the mind to be angry with someone for long. Before you know, I'll see myself calling her again reason I deleted her number.

How can I detach from her cos it's obvious she detached from me long ago.

I'm thinking of traveling to a far away country. I know then she'll Value and miss me more.

How can I ignore her?
Am I doing the right thing?

So annoying.

U need not be hard on urself nor nurse d thought of her not valuing u or distancing herself away 4rm u, that's far 4rm it. D fact is just dat, u guys shared same placenta, but ur personality differs.

4rm ur narration, u claimed she has friends, but 2 u, she is d only u got; she is even a family woman already, but u are yet 2, such is just one of d mystery abt twin and one of d ways God uses 2 naturally preach 2 us which is, d fact dat two individual shared same placenta (twin) doesn't mean they are destined same way.

Please, don't be mad at her by trying 2 distance urself since that's what u perceive her doing, just keep being ur real sef. U guys are just opposite, personality wise.

So, try and enjoy d similarities u both share while celebrating ur differences, 4 what u are experiencing with her is normal. Just as sm1 earlier said, u both aren't kid anymore, so don't expect d bond u shared while growing up 2 remain dsame as circumstances (life) just av a way of shaping such, d earlier u realize dis, d better.

Save back her contact, and stop being too expectant 4rm her as it's obvious ur expectations are what has been trying 2 grow sm hatred 4 her in u. U reaching out 2 her frequently is what u find comfortable doing, she might not on her own side, that doesn't mean she love or care 4 u less, but means u guys aren't same personality wise.

She's ur blood, don't trade her 4 anything please. U can still talk things out. Visit her as u used 2, in d course of ur gisting, bring up d case nd pour ur heart all out 2 her, let her know how u feel about d way u feel she's treating u, with that, u would be calm. U might even be surprise about her own submission on d issue.

Once again, keep being d sweet self u've always being. Had it be she is an outsider, I would av supported d notion of u distancing urself away 4rm her, but NO, she is ur blood, ur second half.

May God be with u both.

ITbomb:
Imagine the stress. I'm too connected to soil my name for 20k

I believe you have his account number and name, maybe you didn't want to pursue the matter

Sir, there is nothing 2 pursue in this regard cos there are no concrete evidence 2 back up d claim.
Those who pursue scammed incidence are those with evidence like CHATS, CALL HISTORY that shows d transaction was carried out.
What evidence does Op has 2 defend himself? Anything that is not in WRITTEN FORM i.e. A WRITTEN AGREEMENT is a lost battle, unless nature just choose 2 vidincate d victim. Even court don't hold mere words as valid, unless in cases where there is eyewitness (even with that, there would still be doubt cos eyewitness could be bride or coarce 2 support d complainant).
Plus, if he should choose 2 pursue it, he might end up spending more than what has been lost, likewise wasting time that he would av use 4 a more productive task.

Lesson learnt. Thanks for sharing.

My own bad experience was when a customer, one of this network marketer came 2 me 2 help transfer 2 his account so he could use 2 buy their product which he needed 2 do ASAP, there was error while trying 2 do so using my Mobile App as d bank service was poor that moment which made me conclude d transaction wasn't successful, and since d customer in question was in haste and I had other customers 2 attend 2, I had 2 return his money so he could try somewhere else, lo and behold, an hour later, I received a debit alert 4rm my bank 4 same transaction I assumed 2 av failed. There was no way I could contact d customer. So, I went 2 my bank 2 complaint, was told d transaction was successful. I hoped 4 a week 2 see whether d customer would comeback 2 acknowledge it, but NO, he didn't, even after confirmation 4rm his bank that he did received value 4 d transaction. I had 2 learn 4rm my mistake, count my lost and moved on. It's one of d hazard of this hustle.

Improper planning which lead to poverty among married couples is one of the genesis of this vices. Funny enough, the society has consciously and unconsciously accept it as the new normal where it's now something of proud and showup for those who engaged in it (yahoo yahoo).
I read somewhere here on NL about an undercover Jounarlist who discovered somewhere around Lagos where parents go as far as borrowing/saving money to buy Laptop for their wards which are mostly JSS and SSS students for the purpose of this fraudulent acts while they appeal to do reigning champion (the senior yahoo guys that are seriously cashing out) to put their wards through, some pay for the service just to get them have their wards tutor and mentor in the act.

Even some Landlords would prefer renting their house out to this set of people cos they know they are lavish with spending, Albert the money coming to them through easy route.

Road side sellers, hotel owners, shopping malls, eateries and the likes now lobby for areas dominated by them (yahoo dudes) cos they knew they are in for numerous turnup.

Now adays, an average Nigeria lady wish is to get a yahoo boy to date, some of them (ladies) would and willing to support their bf hustle through spiritual help by volunteering themselves. Some ladies even encourage or nag their bf into such vices.

Go to institutions, a 100L, 200L, ND students using iPhone 11 when her parent couldn't even afford Android phone, all thanks to her yahoo boyfriend.

Parents now serve as spiritual backup for their wards in such acts.

These are people we all have and see around us, but we dare not talk nor point accusing finger at them, else people would see you as the gullible one or enemy of progress, that's even if they didn't go as far as violently attacking you.

Back in school, I had my landlady laying curse on SARS over their raid of yahoo boys at a junction closeby cos her son was/is one of them while claiming whether it's their money yahoo guys are syphoning, she was supporting her son and co with confidence like what they are doing is normal and right. Within me, I was weeping and couldn't talk, but just watch with awe while pretending like they got points, I had to rather keep mute than condemn them in their present cos believe me, they could go as far as harming me should I openly condemn such act.

The government are not even helping matter as they aren't tackling the menace the way they ought to have.

As far as the country is concern, WE ARE ALL AS SAFE AS WHERE WE ARE PRESENTLY, we never can tell what could happen the next minute.

Lot of girls/ladies has been turned into walking corpse as they are just as empty as a doll, all thanks to ritual carried out on them by the yahoo goons. These are ladies that would come up to be wife by an innocent nigga who was never a part of the shenanigans.

Most of their strategy has cast that they now resolved to defrauding fellow Nigerians. Causing lot of havoc to genuine individual making their money the legal way.

Just days ago, an hardwrking lady who is into graphics design was sent money by one of her client to buy some items for a job, the money running into 100k, unfortunately, her account was wiped, the fraudster withdrew 70k and 28k consecutively in couple of minutes, she wasn't even alerted nor received debit alert email as she normally used 2. She came 2 me and narrated her ordeal, she was so down narrating it, if not for self control and it being an open place, I bet she would have wept seriously right there. I didn't even know how best 2 console her than suggest her on what she could do even though her chances of recovering is 50/50. I felt so sad for her.

I fear for the present and future of the country. We are in for a long thing cos this and other social vices has come to stay in as much as we hope and pray for resolution.

May God help us.

It's either u are PISCES or CANCER, which are u should my guess is right?

frozen70:
@ Op just leave this family, they already know that they are nuisance to the society

If you can't afford to be giving them a percentage of your small salary pls leave them alone

By this time next year, they will birth another child and so it keeps going

You can't solve their problems neither can any society do it

See, Op can't leave dem alone cos d issue isn't just about dem, but d society at large. D people dat were nd still tormenting nd terrorising d society, causing mayhem are as a result of settings like dis. Such is d genesis of crises like kidnapping, banditry, arm robbery, yahoo yahoo nd oda social vices we r battling in d country.
I grew up in Ajegunle, nd I can tell u dat, situation like dis aren't far fetch ova dia, nd dose kids birth like yesterday r d one disturbing d peace nd harmony of 2day. If Op nd evri1 chuz 2 turn blind eye 2 dem, we shudn't be surprise if kids like dem grow up 2 polute d society which wud now bounce back 2 evri1 as we already experiencin, den d vicious cycle continue.

Op, I guess u are a CANCER by Zodiac Sign i.e. June/July born which instigated d emphaty nd simpathy in u.
From ur narration, u are in debt, so u plan 2 help sort out a friend's problem (debt) with d money u wud av use 2 sort out ur own debt, hmmm, it show hw compassion nd caring u are which is gud, but at times, using one's head in situation dat has 2 do with money is very important. D said friend is indebted 2 u already, so if u choose 2 bail him out by making his debt 2 u accumulate, be sure d total money is an amount u are willing 2 forego if u really want 2 maintain d friendship u both share. OR u myt just borrow him part of d money 2 offset part of his debt, provided it convenient u.
All in all, don't inconvenient urself just 2 mk others convenient.

I'm happy for you Sir. May it keep multiplying.

I can see tinz 4rm her point of view. Almost all her life, she has been experiencing things done 4 her which made it comes so easy that she start 2 nurse d feeling of not being independent. Such feelings of not being able 2 do things her own way or understand how it feel 2 independently achieve/attain a feet. She want 2 do things herself and av d inner feelings of satisfaction nd boastfulness that, indeed, I did this all by myself as against d usual push and input 4rm her parent. But she failed 2 realize something which is the fact that, SHE'S BEING LUCKY AND SHOULD BE GRATEFUL 4 IT. D one who coined d phrase, 'DIS LIFE NO BALANCE' got inspired by situation as hers cos d life she is complaining about is what most out there wishes 4.
Most of those she envied by their success stories would choose her kind of life over what they went through 2 attain their success, but life was not just being fair 2 them 4rm start. Never should she forget d fact that, those set (her envees) were coined and conditioned 2 pass through rough path which then shaped them 2 what they now are. Circumstances got them rugged and gave them d zeal 2 push through even though not all that went through such path survive it nor has a success stories 2 tell, but circumstances which try 2 be fair on her own path never got her prepare 4 such life path, and if she try force it, she might break. D rock a weight lifter/body builder would move without feeling workout, should a non weigh lifter dare it, he/she might regret such attempt.

If she still insist on her conviction, it's fine she is about 2 go 4 service, let it be an opportunity 4 her 2 carryout her mission. I'm aware d parent would influence her posting, regardless, wen she get 2 camp, she should pal with her P.O 2 mk sure her posting 2 PPA isn't influence, but let nature tk it cause. So, hopefully they post her 2 a school 2 teach which is likely nd should mk sure 2 stay at Coper's lodge or d house allocated 2 them by her posted place, 4rm there, she can start living on NYSC Allawee while she save as much as she can, d Allawee is a pay 4 her effort, by being prudent wif spendin, she must av been able 2 save sm amount, den after service, let her start her journey 2 hustle things herself wif it. Though, her parent could be sending her money since they have her account, let her act like those money doesn't exist.
So, if she try d path and realize how uneasy it is, biko, mk she turn back . Sufferhead no be 4 evribdy .

Tobam7302:

I am pisces

Then without any iota of doubt, u are obviously an INTROVERT. It's ur nature; it's ur identity. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, why not channel those energy in tkin advantage of ur strengths such as creativity, then u follow my suggestion nd other ones u find useful on d thread. U can start 4rm d book I recommended, it gonna help ur situation nd mk u appreciate ur being while guiding u on how 2 cope with ur concern.

Don't mind those condemnin nd claimin u are suffering 4rm low self-esteem or lack confidence whatsoever, most of dem are extroverts nd will neva understand u cos 2 them, everybody ought 2 act d way dey do (like extroverts), any deviation wud mk dem tag u ol sort of names like wat I earlier mentioned. Introverts do understand dem (extroverts) 4 who dey are, but same can't be said abt understandin introverts.

In fact, it's very normal u feel worried over it, an average introvert who is yet 2 discover or understand his/her personality feel same as we are mostly surrounded by these extroverts who tries 2 force dia personality on us by expectin us 2 be just like dem. Dey (extroverts) r d dominatin personality which put dem at a more advantage ova us.

Just in case u couldn't get 2 access d book by Susan Cain, u may WhatsApp me on d number attached 2 my signature so I can share u d PDF. Also book like, 'WHY U ACT THE WAY U DO?' and 'HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE' by Dale Carnegie, books like those wud help u nd guide u on how 2 cope as an introverts. Got pdf of dose books on my archive.

2horsePOWER:

Almost all of us were posted to go teach.

Bro, I sent u a PM, but yet 2 get a response. I'd like 2 mk an enquiry 4rm u. U may drop ur number or beep/WhatsApp me via d number on my signature. Tanx

Tobam7302:
I don't know why I am just different from everyone. For most of my life I have always been the quiet one in any group even if I wish I could also be free like anyone else.

And now I am in the university. I am still the same maybe even worse, I am pratically a loner now. The virtual stuff we are doing is not even helping matter at all.

Before I gained admission I have always hoped that university will probably change me, but I am in 200 level now nothing has changed. It's like I don't have that fast thinking to give good replies to conversations (especially Yoruba ). And my friend is like the complete opposite of me; free with everyone, funny, witty with words and stuffs.

I can count the number of things I say per day. I just want to get better than this and meet new people. I am going to be 20 next year, yet no babe or even female friends. Shey I even get male sef talkless of female.

My parents sef are probably hoping for some changes. One of my Granny's last words to me was 'when will you not be shy again'. I just laughed then but it's really serious to me... No day pass without me thinking about this.

I just envy people that are just so fucking good at talking, especially this funny bangers people do ( I am so bad at this. I will probably just bore the person out).

The worst part is the way people treat you like a kid just because I don't talk the way, I am supposed to. I am just depressed. Anytime I go out, I always come back depressed, why?. When I see the quality of conversations people have and how fun and confident they are talking. My friend is probably tired of me. Phone calls sef na trouble. No one calls me except my parents.


What do I do to be normal, how do I live like others and just enjoy life? I have even thought about taking weed to help me that's how desperate I am.

If you have experienced this before please how did you overcome.This is really draining me. I just wanted to let it all out sorry if the post is long.

U might just be an introvert from ur description. It's who u are, there is little u could do as ur personality is ur identity. Since u are in school setting, u might start by joining a forum or club in ur school where people get 2 introduce themselves at every meeting, it wouldn't be easy at first, but with time, u gonna improve.

I am an introvert too, and what I suggested was what helped me 2 some extent till date. Thou, it didn't tk away d introversion in me, but made me improve at canvasing with people. As an introvert, one need 2 learn 2 fake being extrovert 2 survive this extroverts dominated world. Stuff like those do get me exhausted on a daily, but I do return home 2 recharge and prepare 4 d next day.

I recommend u also read d book by Susan Cain titled, 'QUIET, THE POWER OF INTROVERTS IN A WORLD THAT CAN'T STOP TALKING'.

Meanwhile, are u Pisces or Cancer based on Zodiac Sign?

Observe ur environment and look out 4 what is lacking OR what is already in existence, but poorly manage. U can start from there.

Havilaah1:
Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue.

I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse.

Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me.

The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities).

This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event.
Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us.

I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions.
How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep.


God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person.

I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation.
ZZ please help move to front page to get a wider view.
Roctation
farano
Please help move to front page for wider view.

In my opinion, I don't think his actual reason 4 withdrawin is d excuse he gave as it very flimsy nd childish at d same time. I guess he is no longer interested in d relationship nd just lookin 4 a way 2 bail himself out. No mata how much u try, he can neva understand ur person, we introverts are d ones dat easily understand extroverts nd see dem 4 who dey are, but same can't be said about dem.

Ol I see is just a lady (u) trying 2 force herself on a guy who doesn't respect her person just cos she is afraid of d future. Afraid abt wia 2 start 4rm or get 2 see anoda guy who wud be interested in her. It's just unfortunate, challenges like this are what introverts (male nd female) face when it comes 2 relationship. We are mostly unlucky with it as we are in a world dominated by extroverts who wud expect we see things 4rm same lens as them, any deviation wud mean u are weird nd abnormal.

I just hope nd pray u don't regret a future with sm1 wif a shallow reasoning like ur suppose guy cos dis is a major redflag which shud been overlook, cud lead 2 regret.

It's not nd wudn't be easy as 4 u being a lady, society nd family expect sm1 serious (relationship wise) 4rm u since u've kom of age.

Pendin d time d situation calm, I'd urge u channel ur energy in2 smtin productive nd let nature tk it cause while u put ur mata in God's hand. Let him be 4 d time being, if u guys are meant 2 be, one way or d oda, u wud end up 2geda. Stop working urself up nor depress ova it. It wudn't be easy, but u can always try.

Vicfacebadoo:
Good day nairaland,
At this moment I'm writing this, I'm currently depressed, I work for a lady of recent to run some errands, after a week I went to her shop to get my money, even before asking for my money, she ask for my account number immediately i step my foot into her shop, she credited me instantly and to my supprise I didn't receive the alert within 20 minutes that I'm still sitting in her shop, I have to tell her that I have not received any alert and she confirmed that she have just been debited with a frown face, well, I have to take my leave since it not the first time she has sent me money but this time is the longest time, I could not believe since yesterday till now I have not received any alert and I have check my bank account balance severely, even though I have received money from other people yesterday, I'm yet to receive her own alert. And NOTE, Before she sent me the money wish I'm yet to receive, we had a querrel and I can see that she is hangry with me, even though I have tried to explain and calm her down about the issue that is getting her hangry, I had to text her in the evening that I have not be credited and I suggest she send me the screenshot of the debit alert and she send the screenshot without wasting time which I was able to confirm that she was debited but till now I have not receive any credit alert from her and I'm confused on what to do because I don't want to cause any issue where there's non, my own bank is STERLING BANK while her own Bank is ACCESS BANK, please guys, my question is, is it possible that the money she sent me have been reversed back to her and she may not want to tell me because we had unresolve issue already, is it possible for bank to reverse money to the sender after debited the sender in this case, please I need urgent opinion, and the money I'm taking about here is #5200, I will attach screenshot of the debit alert she sent to me on whatsapp, thanks for taking your time to read, I need help.

As par bank reversing money back 2 sender after debitting him/her, it do happen. Can't say about other banks, but that of GTBank I am so sure about cos I've had such encounter with their customers on more than one occasions. A situation where they debited the sender while the suppose receiver wasn't credited, but the money was later reversed back 2 d sender, I guess it's network palava.

Just ask ur client politely about d possibility of d money being reverse back 2 her after u must av waited 24hrs without being credited. Since u wouldn't want 2 go in2 d stress of requesting statement of account 4rm ur bank 4 clarification, ur Mobile App should be handy here, just check d transaction history, if it's not there, just know d money wasn't sent successfully in d first place. U may want 2 screenshot d transaction history 4rm d suppose time she (ur client) sent u d money till 24hrs after.

zinodizt:
Stop dreaming…. No be juju be that…..

Na market I price, I no kee pesin .
Aje, kogba..lobatan

integrityhomes:
you can only pick one

would you opt for a job of 250k or a visa to Canada America

250k job in Nigeria, not cos d money is enough, but cos I wud rather stay back here in 9ja dan Japa . 9ja is my home .

Guy man no need be in d U.K b4 e go fit dey O.K.

Shey e gree 150k plus pay on delivery?

just2endowed:


Did you read where the inscription writen on the cloth is Hosanna....

Bro, I didn't even bother 2 watch video neither did I tk my time 2 read 2hru d write-up, but d topic, nd 4rm it, I cud deduce d summary of d story plus convince it's a gullible act 2 bliv such stunt.

It's just simple logic. Among ol d wonder God cud do, it's now throwin down a white clothe 4rm heaven down 2 earth dat He wud av done.

We bliv anytin, nd evritin in dis part of d world. Dat is why organized religion nd d organizers r cashin out big, ol tanx 2 dominant of gullible pipu.

As 4 d Hossana write-up u referenced, I bet it's just a brand identity incription 4rm d original owner of d clothe.

It's even stupid 2 think or bliv such has any spiritual attachment or came 4rm heaven as dey painted.

#BlackPeopleWithBlackBrain , dat's wat Africa represent.