The lady should be arrested, taken to court and charged for assaulting the lady and violating her privacy. She has NO right to physically assault another person. He qualms is with her husband not the lady.

debsnick:
I know what I want don't just know if he got what I want

You said you've been in the relationship for 2 years now, well to me it is either:

1. You do not know what you want,
2. The guy doesn't have what you want or
3. Even if you see what you want you will not know it

2 years is an awful long time to be dating and still be in limbo without direction. Again, I will advice, that is if you want a lasting relationship that is heading somewhere to step back, do a soul check and examine what you really want and how to know when you find it.

If you are interested, , there are a number of articles at http://www.peleodiase.com on dating and relationships that may be of help to you.

I'll advice you take a step back and ask yourself what you really want out of a relationship. Is it true love, a meal ticket, friends with benefits etc. Without a clear focus, there is no guarantee you wouldn't break up with the next guy you hook up with and continue in the vicious circle.

It depends on the age of the child, how matured they are and how well they have been brought up or exposed to the use on mobile phones.
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This article may be worth reading : Is it OK to get pregnant before marriage?

I have been married just over 14 months now and I must say it has been a life changing experience. I'm glad I attended marriage conferences before marriage, things would have been more difficult to understand if I hadn't.

We have had rough times, challenges and struggles and I attribute this to the fact that we were both being real and ourselves. Looking back I am happy we got to understand who we really were early in marriage. We now understand ourselves better and our love is ever growing strong.

I have put together 7 things I understood better 12 months into marriage, I do hope it would be a blessing to others. Marriage is good but it requires total dedication, hard work and equal investments from both parties.

Getting married is probably the greatest decision anyone can make. It should have been well thought out by the intended couple with the determination to make it work. Love should be the motivating factor but isn't the only factor.

However one of the issues you may have to deal with is setting boundaries for friends and family members after marriage. You may want to know the dynamics of friends and friendship in marriage. Wisdom worth having!!

Just as @seluvsmayo rightly said it is possible to keep godly relationship and be chaster until marriage. And as @lafile said there is nobody (flesh & blood) that is beyond temptations. The holy art thous facade we carry in church drive Christians to hide their struggles and concerns about maintaining sexual purity while dating. We face greater temptations as Christians because the devil is after us. He doesn't mind what the unbelievers do.

I agree that one shouldn't go into any relationship with marriage in sight, that would be creating a capacity for temptation. Having godly friends can help overcome peer pressures and societal influences too.

For a guy I would say you discover you purpose in life, have a vision and settle down as soon as possible. While single find a way of converting your sex drive / energy to something useful like sports, exercising, learning an instrument, involvements in church activities etc.

As @seluvsmayo pointed out, there are resources books/online materials etc that can edify and challenge us to maintaining sexual purity. Wisdom is the principal thing, in all you getting get understanding

well, i think we do not have to overflog this issue, we all have our agencies(how to choose good or evil). 4 me i left the Nigerian army after serving 10 years 100 days.i served as an other rank.I think the NDA is a destruction academy, where they go to learn how to loot,cheat and steal other rank's money.The day we start having men of integrity in the armed forces this country will be put the wright side up.Formally when i hear Fela music on Zombi i take it for granted, not until i took the dictionary to find that i was exactly a Zombi.Good initiative are never taken in the military except its from a superior officer.E.g, in the nigerian army medical corps school ojo barracks, An officers with HND as highest qualification is head of dept. whereas, a masters degree holder is his subject what matters is rank not intelligence.The arm forces ahve grossly mis-deployed its arsenals.

@mnavy
You just exposed you ignorance by your post. You said it yourself that you joined the Army as an Other Rank. What do you think other rank means? Did you read the terms and conditions of your service? If you wanted your degree to count, you should have joined as an officer or wait until you're are commissioned, that's if you deserve it. Do you know what "channel of communication" is and means? Where in the world do superiors take orders from inferiors? It obvious your joined the army with the wrong reasons and expectations and this is a good case study for those thinking of joining the armed forces.

I suppose your frustration explains your beclouded thoughts about what goes on in the academy, I can understand that. But it takes a real man with guts, courage and intelligence to survive the academy. If you doubt it, try it but don't defame it!

@mingiix

@odiaseo!!! Are you the same odiase at echo company in NMS. The name pele + odiaseo from admiral's write-up made me think so. I am NMS/82

NMS/85: Ex-boy E-Coy | Ask Dr. P

researches have shown that women talk more than men. There maybe the odd cases but women are built that way.


for women, talking is a means to an end while for men, it is an end itself. What I mean is that women think by talking, so they do not always mean what they say, they are just processing their thoughts. For a man, he tends to think before speaking, so most of the time he means what he says.

Labelling me 419 -albeit indirectly- is dragging this
too far.

@akinalabi
I meant no offense just expressing my views and opinions, I suppose that's legal too.

There are many legal businesses that are morally wrong, it's up to the individual to decide which money making path to follow, afterall a murderer even though guilty can be acquitted by law.

There is no short cut to wealth that hasn't got a dark side to it, no substitute for hard work

I only wish all women would understand the treasure they hold by saving sex for marriage. Virginity is still in vogue even if people try to desecrate it

two of my favourites are
1. Ray Boltz
2. Carman

you can watch their video here

It really boils down to your belief and strength to see your marriage through. There would be challenges and you need to be prepared to face them. Probably someone that have gone through you situation would be able to give more insights

@poster
You need to give more details about the incident so we do not make assumptions.
From my opinion you should not allow the situation degenerate to the extend that you have to fight. Whatever happens between you and you in-laws should be settled in your bedroom. Let your husband deal with the issues you loose respect be exchanging words and slaps with your in-laws.

Haven said that, your home is your home, in-laws or no in-laws. You have full authority and control of what happens in you house. Your authority needs to be established and emphasised by your husband. How you and your husband go about establishing this hierarchy is a matter of your maturity and relational skills

osisi gave a very good advice and I think you should stick to what she said

Your mind is already made up and I do hope you are convinced and convicted for the right reasons. However, let your strong convictions be in your heart, do not make a confrontational issue or make it very obvious that you have taken a stand. At the end of the day no one can make you change your mind but you have to apply diplomacy and win your family over. You would need all the inter-personal and conflict resolutions skills you can lay your hands on.

It is important to have both parents consents and blessings before going ahead with your marriages. If both of you are convinced you are doing the right thing, no need to hurry it up. You will have the whole of your lives to live.

Marriage is more than sex and companionship you would need family support and prayers along the way. You would be putting you wife to be in a dangerous position with you family and at the end of the day it will all come back to you.

Your mum may have her reasons, she doesn't have to see reason with you but you can relate to her to the point where she gives you her blessing. Over time you should be able to prove to her that you made the right decision by how your marriage unfolds.

Marriage is necessary because of the following reasons (there are not in any order)

1. Procreation - How have children
2. Companionship
3. Blessings - if you marry well there are blessings and favours that only come in marriage
4. Sex - sex was designed to be practised within the confines of marriage, except if you want to fornicate
5. Support & help - the woman is mans help meter which means man needs help. Woman is blessed by God to be his help, whatever help man needs the woman is divinely equipped to provide it. Most men don't know this and fail to tap into the wealth of resources at their finger tips

Although there are reports of increasing divorce rates even amongst Christians it still doesn't negate the fact that marriage can be good, sweet and a blessing. It requires hard work to keep the love aflame but you can enjoy the journey together.

My advice to anyone planning to get married is to get the right information and wisdom to date wisely. If you want the best in your mate, be the best! Sow true love, faithfulness and trust and you'll reap a harvest.

More tips and articles at Love dating and marriage relationship

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@disturbed

Your concerns are very genuine and I think you are a wise man to realise that there is no perfect relationship. Two human beings, even if they are identical twins must have differences. And in a relationship, if 2 people are exactly the same one person is irrelevant. He or she has seized to be him or herself. There must be conflict of ideas, interests, etc Having conflict is not the problem in relationships but how you handle the conflict is the issue.

It is either
1. she is intimidated by you and she doesn't want to oppose you in any way
2. she has had terrible relationships in the past because she was herself
3. she is desperate to get you hooked
4. she has something to hide
5. she doesn't trust you to open up to you or be herself

If I were in your shoes,I would not take the relationship and further until both of you can be real about yourself. You may need to earn her trust to open up to you and be herself.

Well the only groundthe bible permits divorce is in the case of divorces as osisi rightly put it, but divorce is an exception and not a rule. It was only perkitted by Moses because of the hardness of man's heart and it was not so in the beginning.

Extra marital affairs can be very hurtful because you empower the person you love with the ability to hurt you the most. It can be very devastating and depressing. However, if you can forgive and the cheating party has repented and determined to make a you turn. it is always best especially if children are involved.

Marriage was designed to be till death, it is important that carefull thought is made before marrying your spouse. Love should be the motivation for marriage but other things should be considered as well.

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