I wonder if alot of the folks giving advise here are actually married. Some of the responses show that the respondents know nothing of what it takes to keep a marriage going.

Nobody has asked what the events precluding this incidents were. If a husband or wife decides to have an affair, contrary to what Hollywood/Nollywood makes us believe, it doesn't just happen. There are always precursors.
Here are a couple of questions to consider:
-Waht was your sex life before this incident?
-Have you guys been fighting or had disagreements?
-How much time do you spend with each other?
-Are there things he/shes being complaining about which you have refused to address?
-Is he/she getting the respect and admiration needed to keep focus.

 Men are not complicated beings, ladies know this right well. Thats why low neckline dresses, low waist line jeans, short skirts etc are in vogue. A man is stimulated by what he sees. It takes  discipline for a man not to be drawn to  boobs or backside. The ladies know this well.

 If your husband is not getting what he wants from you at home, be very sure someone outside will observe it and offer it to him practically for free!!! This does not excuse him, but it does make it easier for him for yield.

 Making him demean himself before you take him back isn't the answer either. Once again I suspect that answer is from someone who is single,divorced or about to be. Men are creatures of ego, they gravitate to people who make them feel important and needed. If you make him grovel before you then take him back, you'll have a broken man! Unless he never loved you to start with, he's already sorry for what he did. He'll be reminded of it regularly just by seeing you there.

 The concept of divorce actually refered to by Paul in 1Cor 7 says 'If the unbelieving departs let him depart, a sister is not bound in such cases' and clearly refers to someone leaving you when you are of different faiths.

 I think you ultimate response should be, be 'if it was me what would I him to do to me? How would I want him to treat me'? And don't say it can never happen to you cause thats not the point.

Remember he did something wrong, remember also we all do wrong things daily small thogh we might consider them to be. Humanity always gives grades to wrongdoing, but all cats are grey in the dark.

Consider these examples ladies, how many of you have brushed your boobs against a guy on purpose just for the momentary thrill, or flashed your boobs or thighs when you know he's looking? Even in church for that matter!! What about those jeans that show your ass crack every time you get up? Is that meant for all to see or just your hubby?When you put on those revealing clothes, what's in back of your mind? yep, he who is without sin throw the first stone.


 Keep your marriage together, unless he's a total loser who really never loved you.

The question is related to insecurity about discussing religion. Let's stay focused on that. It doesn't refer to any religion specifically. From my experieince, it is not an issue of insecurity but of wisdom. You find taht whenever relgion comes up in conversations, it takes very little for tempers to rise and words to fly. This is the reason most folsk avoid it, thats my experience anyway.

If however you ask somoeone about their religion with a view not to engender strife or arguments but to gain understanding, most folks are more than willing to talk with you.

This is an interesting thread. As on who has been a Christian for almost 2 decades, i'd like to make my humble submission. Before I became a Christian, I looked around at the lives of those of different religions. Islam I practically grew up with cos I was surrounded by muslims and had a mosque just opposite my house. I chose to become a Christain for one reason and one reason only, Christs' lifestyle as read in the New testament impressed me. He just seemed so full of love and compassion for everyone, except the hypocrites who knew the truth and refused to acknowledge it.

Some of the questions Babs raised I have thot about too, and over the years I came to realise that we actually receive insight based on how much time we spend in/with someone or something. I think its a bit off to completely cut down the Qu'ran and Muslims based on some things written in the light of the situation the people found themselves at the time, same goes for the old testament. Many of these things were actually written to adress the exigencies of the hour, not to be carried on as perpertual instructions everywhere.

What I have found is that people are generally sincere in their pursuit of God, it is wrong to castigate a man who decides to stick to a religion because that is what he knows and was brought up with. Those of you who keep taunting the Muslims, have you stopped to think what faith you would be following if you were brought up in China, Thailand or Japan? Chances are you'd be a buddhist. If you were a committed one, folks would find it hard to disward you from your beliefs, unless ur beliefs were never real to start with

 I have learnt that God reveals himself to those who are really interested in knowing him. I have learnt that the main thing He is interested in is us treating each other with the utmost Love and respect. Where we fail in this, we fail in all.

 I have critised those of other religions in the past, but everytime I did I was checked inside. One day many years ago I had an insight that i've lived with for over a decade now. People are serving him the best way they know how!! Remember Jesus in Matt : 'Judge not that you be not judged';  Paul in Thessalonians:'Speak evil of no man' 1st Cor:Judge nothing before the time.

As Christains we claim to be the ones serving the right God etc, how many of us spend time to pray to our true God and have the same level of commitment the way the Muslims,Buddhists,Shintoists etc have for  theirs? Do their actions not put us to shame? Do our words and actions not belie our professions?

I have friends who are Muslims. They are just regular folks like us. I do not believe what they believe, however I have learnt how to Disagree without being disagreable. Many do not tow the line of violence and actually eschew it. Before we condemn these people, let us remember the atrocities committed in the name of the Lord during the crusades too. Waht is the difference between the Jihad and the crusades? As X-tians today, do we support them? You know we do not, but they are forever there in history as reminders to us of how things are not to be done.


 
LOVE CONQUERS ALL. This should be our focus

I think this is just another reflection of the hurried way in which we often try to implement principles practiced by the developed world. It is true that Lagos being a highly populated area, viz a viz businesses and autos, experinces quite a bit of pollution due to emissions. The question however is: In countries where such policies have been implemented, what has been the Modus operandi? I strongly doubt that this approach was applied when similar steps were takenin the UK.

If I want a job done, the onus rests on me to provide an enabling environment. Where I fail to do this and those who work for and with me take steps to still get the job done, it would be wrong of me to levy them for side effects/fallouts which arise from my failings.

As a nation we have invited businesses to set up shop and help build our economy, provide employment and in many cases especially in the Niger Delta, saddle them witht the responsibility of developing the communities in which they operate. It doesn't make sense to turn around and levy them for the side effects of their operations when we have not made adequate provision for power supply to these businesses.

This said however, the thot behind the idea is a good one, as are many of the ideas the govt tries to implement. The problem is the 'copy and paste' approach that is often used. Nigeria as a nation is unique, such ideas have to be customised to suit us.

I would not shoot the idea down, just that it needs to be taken back to the table for proper modification in terms of implementation.