*WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DON'T HAVE PART THREE.*

Good morning viewers welcome to another section of our Teachings about the *Family*
Today we shall try to respond to the question the ladies that feel cheated in their marriages have been asking. " What does she have that I don't have"? See you may have good figure eight shape, ebony black or light in complexion, sweet melodious voice, female gender romantic voice, seductive eyes, good body physique, men outside may call you pure and succulent body, look at your chest region, drivers forget their direction, married men even in the presence of their wives still want to tease you not minding you are married. Some of us, just because of these natural endowment, we feel are just too beautiful that we now have the impetus and audacity to talk and treat our husband the way we like. We look straight at our husband's eyes and remind him of his ugly past, witch hurt him and compare him in your heart or directly to other men. Now, listen if we are to compare the good things you have told him since you got married and the negative things you have said to him out of anger or whatever, it will amaze you that the negative things are more in number and you think he is not taking note. Once in a while in his cool and meditative mood the tapes of all the negative things will begin to play back.
A woman whose marriage was in a state of cold war was critically interrogated in details. She complained about the bad behaviour of the husband later she realized she was the cause of the whole issue. The English adage says " Action speaks louder than voice". The action and attitude you portray often times makes the man uncomfortable. Men are quiet when contemplating on issues bothering their marriages. We have caused them pain enough. Some women still have the effrontery to say that they are good and perfect in their judgment. " I do my best, I cook for him, give him sex any time he wants it, wash is cloths, iron them and dress his bed. I stood by him all through out when he was admitted in the hospital, I sought for money to pay his debts, I gathered materials for him when he was doing his thesis for his Masters program. I sought for good publishers for his book. I did this I did that so he does not have any reason to go out. Of cause generally men have cheating spirit in their blood so my husband is not left out. "
Those things you claim you did is not a guarantee that you now have the licence to treat him anyhow.
Take a deep retrospect about your life and your attitude towards your husband and you will discover you sent him out packing and amend your ways.


Thanks for being there. Be a date with us every morning by 07:00am

Eric Otueh © 2018
President
BLISSFUL UNION
Relationship and Marriage Therapist
For Counseling call or whatsapp +2348037490354

This is a very serious issue and we should not treat it with levity.
Many marriages have hit the rock due to the complacent attitude towards this subject. Listen, whenever a marriage collapse it affects the man, woman and children. Some men will pretend that they are alright but when they are alone they will feel dejected. Now, when the man goes outside there are some vital and essential qualities the man that has been driven out is looking for. At this moment he will put on his spectacles and closely read in between lines to figure the right lady that will satisfy him psychologically, physically and emotionally. He looking for :
1. DECENT AND WELL BEHAVE LADY. Hello ladies are you decent in your conversation and behaviour, do you pose as a threat to his peace, are you the one that will not welcome him when he returns from work and while he is eating you are bombarding him with numerous questions and apparent interrogations?
2. DISCRETIONAL LADY . He is out in search of a Lady that can make use of her discretion to figure out a solution to any challenge without disturbing the peace of the husband. There are ladies that will want the man to solve every problem and they are out scolding and tearing down the man casting countless numbers of blames on the man and you expect the best from the man?
3. DISCIPLINED LADY. The man is out there searching meticulously the lady that is discipline and has self control. She does not recklessly waste resources but with prudence manage the meager resources.
4. DETERMINED LADY. She is a goal getter, a lady with the " I can" attitude. She has passion and a clear vivid conspicuous vision. She has a burning zeal to become somebody in life. She is not interested in mundane and unprofitable idle talk. Her programs and companions speaks of her vision. No time to analyse gossip, no time for frivolities and useless visitations.
5. DUTIFUL LADY. Some ladies just because they have not gotten a good well paying job, or perhaps the husband is well paid, they give room to shabby lifestyle and endless sleeps. Some that are working they are carefree about their work. They are not industrious. So, ladies please note am not justifying cheating for no reason but we can curb it if we can imbibe the afore mentioned quality.

Eric Otueh © 2018
Relationship and Marriage Therapist.
For Counseling call or whatsapp +2348037490354

*WHAT DOES SHE HAVE THAT I DO NOT HAVE? PART ONE
The subject before us is in form of a common expression from women who feel, assume, or perhaps sure that their husband is cheating on them. Please understand, that the man going outside is not because he wants to ease or satisfy his sexual desires but there are several factors that the man fe
els he can no longer cope up with. Those factors are beyond the facial appearance of the lady, the dressing or make up.
Ladies there are things you have that the man is pissed up with and we shall consider some:
1. DOMINEERING SPIRIT. How do you relate with your husband as couples do you see him as head or one canal thing? Listen, the headship of the man is incontestable. God did it without consulting the man or his wife. Parents, In laws, Government institutions can not altar it. The man may loose his Job, the man may be disgraced due to errors, the man may be denied some rights but his headship in the home is and can never be tempered. He lost his professional certificate, he was repatriated from overseas, he was rusticated from the university, he lost his properties due to bankruptcy, his assets were liquidated but the headship of the home is still there. So commanding him, forcing him, rebuking him and reprimanding him will only send him out.
2. DICTATING SPIRIT. You want to dictate and decide every steps he takes, every action and plans MUST be approved by you no matter his logical and philosophical view, no matter his professional acumen, his analytical presentation, his empirical analysis, your decision is final. You have directly and impliedly sent him out.
3. DISAGREEMENT SPIRIT. Whenever the man submits an hypothesis, submission or a vision or plan or ambition or goal, you do not see possibility, you are not a catalyst to him achieving his goal rather you wittingly weaken his hands. How long will the man endure such docile disposition?
4. DIVERSION SPIRIT. Whenever you are saddled with a responsibility, you divert it either to a maid, your children, or perhaps the man then who are you, a head, supervisor over the man or what?
5. DIRE DEVIL SPIRIT
There some women that will look straight at the man's eyes and without consulting their cerebral hemisphere and checking the consequences of their action they open their mouths and say all sorts of derogatory speeches. What are you up to?
These are some of the things the man is seeing inside that is driving him outside.

Eric Otueh © 2018
Relationship and Marriage Therapist.
For counselling call or whatsapp +2348037490354

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THE FRAILTY OF MEN.
The subject on men is scarcely found and men have taken that as excuse to do whatever they like. Society is not helping matters at all, a man will misbehave but when reported to the elders the elders will wittingly transfer the blame on the innocent wife who was conspicuously absent when the man misbehave.
The Mr perfect man has often times be found with the following frailties:
1. They spend most times late at night and comes back waiting for the gatekeeper wife to open.
2. They drink to stupor and the useless wife from their eyes will still clean them up.
3. They embarked on some major project or investment without the knowledge of their dull wife and when the money or project fails they cry back like babies to their wives.
4. They secretly keep a mistress outside and when the "good news" that the mistress is pregnant they will now kneel down and apologized to the true wife that it was the devil that lead them to that extramarital affair.
5. They are careless about the health state of their family members but when they are involved in a ghastly motor accident, the wife will leave her market shut down her store and stay with him in the Hospital till he fully recover.
6. The man will go to Restaurant order for big bush and assorted beefs but will give the wife meager money for housekeep, always complaining of Recession period.
7. The man will travel to see a strange woman in another town, perhaps they meet on social media telling the wife that he is going out for official duty.
8. The is always sending money to his siblings and relatives but no money for the children at home.
9. The man can not rely on his wife for planning but free to discuss with other women.
10. The man pretends to be a good, caring and compassionate man to others but cruel and carefree to his immediate family.
Can we now say with the above ten points that the man is completely free and perfect in his action?

Someone defined Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple.
Dating has taking the mind of many young people that it has filled their mindset above their academic pursuit, you see a girl wants to die for a player because of ignorance and foolishness. A boy in is early twenties want to date his class girl, and later, when the girl is pregnant, he will start to cry and run here and there looking for a means to abort the pregnancy. My little girl how long will you be fighting another girl that wants to take your boyfriend from you, do you know the numbers of girls your so called boy friend is going out with?
Dating is a subtle deceptive way to lure a person from the path of dignity and honour to a state of shame and death. Dating tells you that relationship is rosy and glossy, it is all a mirage. Dating tells you that the young man or girl is promising and has a bright future not knowing that he or she is filled with rotten men’s bones. Dating appears to be harmless, with lots of sweet words, romantic text messages, casual discussion, hugging, romancing, peaking, kissing; gradually MouthAction comes in, little by little the real sexual act with condoms, contraceptive pills and finally the young man will tell the girl that you can only enjoy the relationship very well without the use of condoms. When the girl says but what of Aid and other Sexually Transmitted Disease, the young boy will then bring a small black or any colour liquid, that, that medicine in that small bottle will prevent any disease, that can you hear of such sickness now, that it was when our people have not come out with this powerful medicine that is when those sicknesses were rampant. Babe relax, in delta language “nothing dey happen, no shaking, I dey for ground”. Do you know that those drugs or local liquid medicine causes more harm than good? When you eventually get to the hospital, the names the doctor will call for you can send you to six feet due to fear.
Now, there are several groups and pages on social media were the admin tell their members to hook up, date, meet their life partner and many people in the name of wanting to marry on time, meeting a wealthy lady or man, getting engaged to a foreigner, they are rushing to join such groups, and the admin will not educate and enlighten them on the demerits of such acts, you will see all kinds of porn picture and very many demonic write-ups. Such groups if reported, they are immediately deleted. My brother and sister, dating should be erased from your mind, rather wait for God to order your step and after proper courtship under the guidance of seasoned leaders in your local church, you can gracefully have marital rest.

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"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that FEARETH THE LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates." (Proverbs 31:30-31).
There are many men today who because of facial beauty married Jezebel and today they are lamenting. The word 'Jezebel' means chaste, beauty and pure but no one wants to bear that name just because of her real self, she was physically beautiful but terribly ugly in heart. A man saw a young charming lady from Edo state, they got married had children but after some time the true picture of the lady came out, you can't imagine a married woman fighting with everyone in her street. Today the man has ran away while the children are scattered and the woman is now a miserable looking figure. Another pastor in Delta got carried away by the beauty of a lady in his church and got married to her, the woman latter confessed that she is a witch and committed suicide but before then the pastor has lost all the spiritual gifts and anointing he had.
Marry a woman that is beautiful at heart, same passion and vision, fear of God and reverence for HOLINESS, a woman that is :
1. Saved from sin
2. Sanctified by the Word
3. Separated from sinners
4, Set to please God only
5. Study the Bible daily
6. Sharing the gospel of salvation.
7. Supplicates in the Spirit.
This is possible if you can close your eyes to the false physical beauty and pray farvently. "... The effectual fervent prayer of a RIGHTEOUS (holy, just, pure) man availeth much." (James 5:16).

For One on One Counseling, Prayers, Invitation to Churches, Seminars, Organization, Campuses, etc reach me on email:blissfulunion21@gmail.com,http://blissfulunionwrks..com.ng/

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How To Avoid The Gaffes That Can Ruin Your Chances Of A Job Offer

The best way to avoid the most common and dangerous job interview mistakes is to think ahead and decide not to make them. Read on for a whistle-stop tour of the top ten interview clangers!


1. Lying
Although it's tempting, it doesn't work. By all means gloss over the unflattering things. But out-right fibbing NEVER pays.

Mark Twain said: "If you tell the truth, you never have to remember anything." Think about it. They will catch you out later.

2. Slating your current company or boss
Fed up with your current job and would give anything to leave because they've treated you badly? Your job interview is NOT the time to seek revenge.

The interviewer will be listening to your answers and thinking about what it would be like to work with you.

Ask yourself: do you like working with people who constantly criticise others? Isn't it a bit wearing? The trouble is that the interviewer draws massive conclusions from your answers.

So your throwaway comment about your boss or employer may be interpreted to be your "standard" way of thinking. It makes you look bad, not your employer.

3. Being rude
If you find you were accidentally rude, then apologise calmly and genuinely. Then leave it behind you and get on with the rest of the interview. If you dwell on it, it will affect your performance.

What's "rude"? Well, that depends on your audience. As a rule of thumb, avoid cracking jokes about potentially sensitive topics and beware of being too "pally" with the interviewer: polite and friendly is enough. After all, you're not in the pub with them. So stay professional.

Remember that everyone you meet could be involved in the selection process. So blanking the receptionist or talking down to the junior members of staff could cost you the job.
4. Complaining
Ok, so your train journey might have been a nightmare and maybe you thought the tube would never arrive, or the tailbacks on the motorway were endless. But your interviewer doesn't want to know that!

Complaining, even in jest, is not a recommended icebreaker. It may be completely harmless, or it might simply make the interviewer switch off. Don't let complaining set the tone for the interview!

5. Talking about people you don't get on with at work
These days, it's common to be asked how you deal with conflict. Companies realise the importance of interpersonal relationships in the working environment.

So if they ask you about difficult people or situations, make sure you hold back from character assassination and blaming others for problems because it won't do you any favours!

If you accidentally do "break" this rule, apologise and explain what you "really" meant.

6. Not being prepared
Re-read the relevant version of your CV and the job advert, just before the interview. You'd be surprised how many people can't remember what they wrote on their CV. And if you remember what type of person the job advert was looking for, it's easier to demonstrate that you have those qualities.

Make sure you've brought with you anything you were asked for. It's fine to bring a note-pad and pen, but make sure they're tidy. It's even ok to bring notes with you; particularly if you have any questions you want to ask. It shows you're taking the job application seriously. Ill-prepared candidates rarely get job offers.

7. Appearing to be too nervous, or too confident
If you appear too nervous they'll think you're not confident enough to do the job. However, appearing too confident will make them think you won't fit into the team.
If interview nerves are an issue for you, it's worth getting practical help from a professional, such as an interview coach.
Or you could try a Mind Tools Stress Management Masterclass.

8. Making a weak first impression
Unfortunately, no matter how hard the interviewer tries, a lot of "don't want to hire them" decisions are made in the first few minutes of contact. If you make a strong first impression, the interviewer will be more inclined to overlook "imperfections" in your answers.

Make sure you know what to wear and have checked out the latest job interview etiquette.

9. Not having researched the company
As a general rule, the more famous the brand, the more they will expect you to have done your homework. Researching the company shows you're serious about the job.

Example from a real interview for a major food brand:

Candidate: "Hello Mr. Interviewer. Yes, I'd love to work for your company. I think your brand is great and I really believe I could make a contribution to your marketing strategy."

Interviewer: "So what do you think about our current merchandising, compared to our competition?"

Candidate: "Oh, Errr, Well, I haven't had time to check it out, really."

Likelihood of getting the job? Low.

10. Putting your foot in it an not noticing
This can be the most unnerving of all job interview blunders.
Yes, we know, you didn't mean to put your foot in it. But it doesn't really matter what you intended. What counts is how the other person reacts.

So what can you do?

Be prepared to say "sorry, that's not what I meant!" This requires you to pay attention to the interviewer, rather than your own thoughts and feelings. Once you've apologised, leave it there

1). Do more with less. Stretch your resources. Try not to ask the boss for more materials, more staff or more money. Get creative with your problem-solving.

2). Guerilla market. Guerilla marketing means utilizing every free and cheap resource that there is out there to get your product known. We use personal networking, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, newsletters, free events, press releases and everything else we are able to keep from spending money on advertising. Of course, advertising is a must in these days. But in boom times people get lazy and concentrate on just placing ads. Use every other method to keep your ad costs reasonable.

3). Work harder. The 40-hour week? Extinct! You're lucky if you can work a 50-hour week these days. Most executives regularly work a 60-hour week or greater. And even if you're an admin, your job is much more secure if you're around when your boss needs you. Those who hang out at the workplace are much more secure than those who rush home to be with the family or to do recreational things.

4). Get used to working weekends and other traditionally "off" times. Business right now is incredibly cut-throat. If you don't make a deadline, it can cost your company tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars. Some of those dollars pay for your job. If you've just missed a deadline, you might well get fired or laid off. Forget the concept of "your time." If you want to keep getting a paycheck, meet deadlines and produce.

5). Dress better. Forget the cut-offs, flip-flops and T-shirts. If you want to remain employed, much less move up in the company, dress as well as you can given the corporate culture, not as comfortably as you can. If everyone else is "grubby," dress "business casual." A good rule of thumb is to dress as close as possible to the way that people one or two levels above you dress. If you look like them, you soon will be one of them. This is human nature.

6). Improve yourself. Maybe now is the time to get an on-line sheepskin, or advanced degree. Perhaps a certification in something like project management or a new IT system would help. See what your company (and other companies) might be looking for in a hire, and make yourself into that person.

7). Ramp up your network. Whether you're employed or unemployed, you need a network these days. Get to networking events. Dress in business/professional for these events. This means a tie and suit, gentlemen, and a very nice suit or professional dress for the ladies. Forget "sexy." Go for the solid, professional look.

. Make yourself useful. Look for ways in your company to make yourself indispensible. Be the one who always volunteers for anything you can do well.

9). Take on only what you can execute flawlessly. However, don't pile project after project on yourself. Flawless execution is more important that an overflowing plate.

10). Follow "the rules." Find out what your corporate culture expects and toe the line. This is not the time for rebellion if you value your job. Keep your mouth mostly shut and follow the corporate expectations to a "T."