hackingisfun:

wife earning belonging to husband doesn't mean her salary should be in her hubby acc but he must be aware of evrything she doing. how she's spendin & others. not like western countries where husband earning are shared & wive kept theirs

Where exactly does this happen? I have never heard of such a thing. In western world both man & woman provide for the family. In most cases it is not even possible to manage with just one person's salary, it really isnt. Both parents have to work to be able to meet up with the extremely high living expences. House wifes are a thing of the past, and have been for the past 30 yrs.

I mean, come on, do you guys have any idea how expensive everything is in Europe? Just for the record, our house rent is 1000 euros a month (basic 4 room&kitchen apartment), and an average monthly salary in this country is about 2000€. And a family of our size spends 150-200€ a week on food only. Then comes car loans & gasoline, insurances, health care, phone bills, electricity, water, day care bills, clothing, children's hobbies etc, etc, Yup, both parents work, at least in this country.

Like someone already said, all earnings belong to the family. In my family we have access to each others bank accounts and we spend our incomes together. The money goes mainly to our children and their needs anyway, so why should we care where the money comes from or who earned it? This is how we have always done it, and we never even discuss it. It is automatic.

And for the record, I dont think it is my hubby's duty to provide for the family or for me. There are two equal adults in this relationship.

@$$osisi

R u from this century? Or even from this planet? I am just as PROUD of my kids whether they were born in or out of wedlock. A birth of a child IS something to celebrate. My first two kids were born be4 my husband and I got married. We got married when our 2nd was born, so our 3rd child is the only "legitimate" one. It is complitely normal in where I come from. People dont pay any attention to such things here.
All our kids were well planned, much wanted and long expected and have been very welcomed with both our families. They have loving and dedicated grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. who would do just about anything for them. U want me to be ashamed of that? Shame on u.

But the question still is, why wouldnt the poster marry a white man if she wants children with him? It is not easy to bring up a child alone, and with mixed kids it is even more difficult. All kinds of things can happen in a marriage and u can end up being alone with ur child anyway, but why intentionally create such a situation? Children are meant to be brought up in a family and by two parents. That is the ideal. Why do it the hard way if it is not necessary?

As a mother of 3 mixed raced kids I have to say that I dont understand u at all. What would u think of a white woman who would f**k a naija guy just to get a baby? Would that be ok for u?

A friend of mine used to come to see my kids when she didnt have any of her own yet, and she was always admiring my children and calling them "milk chocolate" and "choko babies". I thought it was just disgusting. She ended up having her own child with a foreign guy and even when she was pregnant she kept on talking about her "choko baby" etc. A baby is just a baby. My babies are not "chokolate" or "cafe latte" or anything like that, they are just kids like any other kids.

U should want to have a child with a man u love, regardless of his skin colour or other irrelevant characteristics. A child is not a trophy or a circus animal.

This is an unbelievable discussion! Who says that a man has a right to "correct" his wife in the first place? Who says a man knows better? If a man cant compete with a woman on intellectual and verbal level, then he is weak. Using violence is a sign of weakness, not strengt. A person who uses violence to win an argument is not intelligent enough for his opponent.

And that is the case when ur children are involved, also. If u have to beat a child to make him/her obey u, then u r not fit to be a parent. A child is a child, and a parent is an adult. If an adult cant use his brains to control a child, then he is just as stupid as the kid.

All the men who justify domestic violence by blaming the women, are loosers. If my husband beat me, I would have to leave him. Not because he is violent, but because he obviously is too stupid to have children with.