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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Am Depressed About My Marriage. (2601 Views)
I Am Depressed / My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me / My Marriage Has Finally Ended (2) (3) (4)
I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by adeayo1603: 6:03am On May 14, 2021 |
Good day, my fellow nairalander.Please do excuse any error discover on my typing.Please I need you peoples advice on my marriage.l am in a marriage of 9yrs with 2 kids .l have been having this issues of getting tired of my wife behavior which is running me to depression. Am the reserve and the quiet type of person but she is the opposite of me, she is the type that nags alot,keeps all manners of frds.Any neighborhood or apartments we move to she associates with people easily and in the course of that she gets into problems with people.This has been going on for several years like that since our marriage and I have talked to her severally on her bad behavior,at times she apologize and atimes she gets into a fight with me.For like 2yrs ago I traveled out of the country after I lost my job and since that time till date I still get complain from people about her from home and I myself is aware of some of her stupid behavior. Recently,she got involved in a fight with the wife of a neighbor in the new apartment I got for them in which I was told the lady stab her knife on her hand,after making some inquiries from conversation with people.I discovered the lady is fighting her because she suspect and accused my wife and her husband are having an affair.l have confronted my wife on the issue but she denied,I am not bothered about if truly she is having affair with the neighbor because I don't have any evidence.But what bothers me most is this her uncare attitude and bad behavior upto the level of getting in a fight with just anybody. Please people advice me, how can I send her away of my life without hurting my kids because am already fed up with the marriage long time ago but am just patient because of my kids because any action I take to punish this woman, it will affect my kids. I am really fed up,I do have heartache everytime because of this her bad behavior.Atimes when I cautioned her on this behavior she gets furious and maybe later apologies,pls am really fed up. I am just regretting everyday how I got myself into this kind of marriage. |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by DWJOBScom(m): 6:11am On May 14, 2021 |
That's why if una wan marry , make una check every details , e get why. Forget big breast and behind Forget she's from a rich family Forget tall , handsome , confident , good job etc and just confirm both of you can work together!!! 21 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by pascalbenz: 6:15am On May 14, 2021 |
![]() GraceDesign: 1 Like |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by adeayo1603: 6:15am On May 14, 2021 |
GraceDesign: I have tried praying but it's all to no avail,I even told her one-time when I do advice her maybe she should give her life to Christ and get born again.Maybe that will even change her behavior to good,she is even the type dat doesn't fancy church because I remember sometime ago back home that I do have quarrel with her when she tell me on some Sundays dat she is not going to church even when I have a car that will take her and the kids to the church.Sometimes,I go to church only with my daughter and she will be at home doing nothing. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by adeayo1603: 6:26am On May 14, 2021 |
GraceDesign: I don't get it. |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by DaddyRochie1642: 6:29am On May 14, 2021 |
I'm sure that when you were toasting her in the beginning you were telling her words like "Baby you're the Angel of my Life", "baby I can't breathe without you in my Life", "if you're not in my Life, my Life is not Complete" ![]() ![]() ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by adeayo1603: 6:36am On May 14, 2021 |
[quote author=DaddyRochie1642 post=101672374]I'm sure that when you were toasting her in the beginning you were telling her words like "Baby you're the Angel of my Life", "baby I can't breathe without you in my Life", "if you're not in my Life, my Life is not Complete" ![]() ![]() ![]() I don't get the message you are trying to pass because am more of the victim here. Please what's your position on this? 1 Like |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by Ever8090: 6:37am On May 14, 2021 |
Send her away before she sends you to the grave. Your wife is exact the person that lives nextdoor to me, the guy parked her out of his house with her daughter. When she parked in,we got close and she told me all manners of bad things against the guy that made me think the guy was devil himself which I letter discover that they were all lies, whe I got to listen to the guys story, what he went through in her hands, I shed tears.. As time goes on' this angel have quarrel with 9 out of the 9 flats in the compound, 8 co-tenants, his mum who came to visit ran away on a Sunday when she was in the church, the cousin was thrown out in the middle of the night and another of her cousin who came to learn tailoring was also thrown out in the middle of the night. As we speak, she no longer exchange greetings with no one in the compound and the woman that sells provision on our street is also a victim. She was giving quit notice just after 4months into her annual rent for her shop because of her unending quarrels with everyone around her business premises. She slept with one of the yahoo boys on our street after that one left, she moved to the senior man that was the owner of the apartment, after about 1 month, there was "gbege" she quickly moved to another yahoo boy directly opposite the gate of this one's. After 3 weeks, she left and now she is with one fat 3quater nicker wearing commercial driver, but for some few days now I have not been seeing them together again which means the normal had happened again. Point is, I see" Sonia" in your wife, those kind of women are impossible to live with, don't force yourself you won't be able to correct her.. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by meobizy(f): 6:38am On May 14, 2021 |
Differences in upbringing have arrived. Both of you have to slug it out to make the marriage work. You are willing to toss her out, forgetting that two parents are needed to raise stable children. At this point, disposing of her will surely affect the children. Your only chance is waiting till they both turn eighteen years of age before calling it quits. The worst part is once you jump out of marriage you’ll jump back in with the nearest female who shows you special attention. From there na more children than expected while facing the same problem you ran from but featuring another person. 5 Likes |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by money121(m): 6:41am On May 14, 2021 |
Ok |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by sisisioge: 6:46am On May 14, 2021 |
Hmmmm....you need to calm down and completely let your sanity and good health be your top priority please. No need to kill yourself over her attitude. Thankfully, you're not around to witness her wahala first hand. In fact,if possible, block allthose reporting her to you. One day, her day of reckoning will catch up with her...until then, stay healthy. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by DaddyRochie1642: 6:46am On May 14, 2021 |
[quote author=adeayo1603 post=101672477][/quote] My position on this is, I'm very sure that she was exhibiting these same behaviors that you hate when you guys were dating but you probably thought to yourself that "If I marry her, she will change", thats where your regrets and Lamentations started, she will only get worse with her behaviors that's why people are always adviced to always be on the lookout for "Red Flags" that you know you will never tolerate during the "dating process"...do not hesitate to walk away from "Red Flag" behaviors you notice in your partner during the "dating process" If you had walked away when you noticed this her "Red Flag" behaviors when you guys were still dating before marriage, you would have saved yourself from weeping and gnashing your teeth in your marriage. The Lord is your Strength. |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by Nobody: 6:48am On May 14, 2021 |
Make I just read comments. |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by Nobody: 6:54am On May 14, 2021 |
DWJOBScom: Thank God we still have men that think with their heads and not their third legs. Tell them. They are many here. Once they see a lady with those attributes you mentioned, they lose their sense of judgement and jump at her without warning. Afterwards they come crying foul. No need advising them because they won't listen to you at this early stage until they experience it life and direct. Some people like the "seeing is believing" mantra. 11 Likes |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by Nobody: 6:54am On May 14, 2021 |
Mr OP, it's your cross. There's nothing you can do at this stage. Divorce is not an option as you already envisaged the effect it's going to have on your children. So condone her. In your next life, youll look well before you leap. As for this one, it's too late to turn back the hands of time except you wanna twist the hand of time. |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by adeayo1603: 7:03am On May 14, 2021 |
Ever8090: Infact,their was one time my pastor came to settle some issues btw us,d pastor called me aside and told that from her behavior,what he notice is dat i can't change her that she is like a wood that I want to bend her.That if I want to bend her I will need to break her.its pathetic 1 Like |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by adeayo1603: 7:06am On May 14, 2021 |
[quote author=sisisioge post=101672660]Hmmmm....you need to calm down and completely let your sanity and good health be your top priority please. No need to kill yourself over her attitude. Thankfully, you're not around to witness her wahala first hand. In fact,if possible, block allthose reporting her to you. One day, her day of reckoning will catch up with her...until then, stay healthy. Thanks |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by adeayo1603: 7:07am On May 14, 2021 |
sisisioge: Thanks for the advice |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by adeayo1603: 7:09am On May 14, 2021 |
[quote author=sisisioge post=101672660]Hmmmm....you need to calm down and completely let your sanity and good health be your top priority please. No need to kill yourself over her attitude. Thankfully, you're not around to witness her wahala first hand. In fact,if possible, block allthose reporting her to you. One day, her day of reckoning will catch up with her...until then, stay healthy. she is the one that tells me what's happening |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by adeayo1603: 7:11am On May 14, 2021 |
DaddyRochie1642: You are on track,I saw those red flags but just got carried away. |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by LadySarah: 7:26am On May 14, 2021 |
Lol.I have her type of neighbour,very friendly,gossipy and outgoing. Oh boy!She has quarrelled with all the former tenants,street ppl ,her husband and even her xhurch ppl except me!Never give her type room for gossip thats their medicine.Always pretend to be in a haste while throwing your greetings and lock your doors while at home .Knock forever i no dey open. @Op she cant change,its either you get used to her troubles like you've been doing or separate your kids from her. It is for those who i need a beautiful woman foe my children to be fine forgetting that Character is beauty. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by OKOATA(m): 7:27am On May 14, 2021 |
meobizy:You are no diff from the said woman, imagine the nonsense coming out of someone's mouth, so he should wait till the kids are 18years and who told you the guy could last till then or he might die of HBp before then, Even the Bible says it's better to leave in a corner of a roof than a bittch woman so why must he put up with her evil behavior cos of the kids? So you as a woman if you are in an abusive relationship with kids you would wait till you are beaten to coma or death before you know you need to japa? and why would he have to jump into another marriage if he sends his ex packing, all you females always think is that men can't do without women in their lives. If his mom is alive he can drop his kids there so it's not a must he continues in the evil relationship. |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by GboyegaD(m): 7:28am On May 14, 2021 |
Uncle, regret and depression no suppose enter this matter. As for she doing so low to get into a fight, what does she do for work? I am not expecting anyone who has two kiss and is actively engage to have time to get into arguments our fights. If she isn't idle, I would suggest advising her to visit a shrink. |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by ChiefSosa(m): 7:51am On May 14, 2021 |
Give her more attention. Give her more Gbolaga. A woman that gets CONFIRM gbolaga is always calm. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by Taywon: 8:09am On May 14, 2021 |
Na we go make decision for u..... U better use ur head.... |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by Ever8090: 8:32am On May 14, 2021 |
adeayo1603:your pastor told you the plain truth, I was not there but my advice is same with the pastor's...set her moving on her way to her destination... 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by DropsMic(m): 8:41am On May 14, 2021 |
You knew it was a snake when you picked it up... Enjoy your marriage 1 Like |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by femi4: 9:07am On May 14, 2021 |
adeayo1603:Take your kids along with you Prov 25:24 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by poshestmina(f): 9:29am On May 14, 2021 |
Your health and kids should be your priorities . |
Re: I Am Depressed About My Marriage. by adeayo1603: 12:17pm On May 14, 2021 |
poshestmina: Thank you |
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