So, this is a question for both wives and husbands (not girlfriend and boyfriends, please).


What was it like after pregnancy?

Pertaining to stress, responsibility, gender roles, and finance.


Thanks for your time.

Then comes the pressing of very very hot water on the woman's belle by mother..which will wrinkle the belle.

Omugwo

Lemme park here...

DICKstractor:



Omugwo

I mean the family matters first.

merieam16:
Lemme park here...

Tell me, please.

Kind of an empty feeling, so light and weak.
Especially the first time... It's so hard to belive thats your baby.
This great joy takes time to set in....

donbachi:
Then comes the pressing of very very hot water on the woman's belle by mother..which will wrinkle the belle.

Is that what wrinkles the belly? I thought it was the stretching of the tummy during pregnancy and the scratching of the tummy.

mutter:
Kind of an empty feeling, so light and weak.
Especially the first time... It's so hard to belive thats your baby.
This great joy takes time to set in....

It's surprising how no woman ever talks about that...
It's all smile and wave

Until the birth you just don't realise the amount of load you are carrying. You feel light and relieved. Then tired especially when you did the pushing. After which joy and wonder sets in looking/admiring the baby that your body housed for nine months (more/less). God's favour room here I come again

ImaIma1:


Is that what wrinkles the belly? I thought it was the stretching of the tummy during pregnancy and the scratching of the tummy.

you never born?

mariahAngel:


It's surprising how no woman ever talks about that...
It's all smile and wave

True.

Kamachicho:
Until the birth you just don't realise the amount of load you are carrying. You feel light and relieved. Then tired especially when you did the pushing. After which joy and wonder sets in looking/admiring the baby that your body housed for nine months (more/less). God's favour room here I come again

Awwwn

If we are honest with you people, you won’t like it.
You will tell us how your mothers birthed 12 children and never complained. Nobody wants to go through all that and have it invalidated by the opinions of people who WILL NEVER understand it.
So what’s the point?

.

cococandy:
I was angry after my first child. I felt betrayed by my under-preparation for the pains that followed . Because we are all led to believe that the pain and troubles ends after labor.

Those first 3-4 months are no joke. It’s literally the fourth trimester. Exhaustion from lack of sleep and the physical toll your body just went through. Super sore breastss and nippless. It’s painful.
Hormonal shifts that cause drastic mood swings. Balancing work, family and the new baby.

We should talk about it more so that new moms-to-be can be better prepared. It’s not all cuteness and happiness like they think

Oh my!

Even mothers never talk about these things with their daughters.
It shouldn't be so.
I think women should speak out more.

mariahAngel:

Oh my!

Even mothers never talk about these things with their daughters.
It shouldn't be so.
I think women should speak out more.

I think they don’t do that so that young ladies don’t get discouraged from reproducing.
They do tell you it’s painful but once the baby arrives, all the pain varnishes and you won’t even remember it. Which is true but isn’t the whole truth. Yes the labor pain goes away but to be replaced by a different lingering type of stress/pain/exhaustion combination.

It was my first experience that prepared me for the second one, not any of the sugar coated old wives tales. Even then it wasn’t any easier. I just knew then what to really expect.

cococandy:


I think they don’t do that so that young ladies don’t get discouraged from reproducing.
They do tell you it’s painful but once the baby arrives, all the pain varnishes and you won’t even remember it. Which is true but isn’t the whole truth. Yes the labor pain goes away but to be replaced by a different lingering type of stress/pain/exhaustion combination.

That's true.
Thanks for sharing your experience.

It was my first experience that prepared me for the second one, not any of the sugar coated old wives tales. Even then it wasn’t any easier. I just knew then what to really expect.

Congratulations on the arrival of your newborn.

chatinent:


you never born?

I don born o. I was warned not to scratch my belly because it used to itch so much. I resisted scratching all through. I didn't have any stretch marks.

cococandy:
I was angry after my first child. I felt betrayed by my under-preparation for the pains that followed . Because we are all led to believe that the pain and troubles ends after labor.

Those first 3-4 months are no joke. It’s literally the fourth trimester. Exhaustion from lack of sleep and the physical toll your body just went through. Super sore breastss and nippless. It’s painful.
Hormonal shifts that cause drastic mood swings. Balancing work, family and the new baby.

We should talk about it more so that new moms-to-be can be better prepared. It’s not all cuteness and happiness like they think

Thank you for saying it as it is. Especially those that gave birth abroad, CS with no relatives to help. On coming home after few months, MIL started her wahala.

mariahAngel:



Congratulations on the arrival of your newborn.

thank you

Icesnow:
Thank you for saying it as it is. Especially those that gave birth abroad, CS with no relatives to help. On coming home after few months, MIL started her wahala.

Honestly it’s not easy without help. I don’t know what I would have done without my MIL and mom who both came at different times to help with my first born while I worked and went to school.

I can’t imagine for those who did have CS and no reliable help. I empathize

chatinent:
So, this is a question for both wives and husbands (not girlfriend and boyfriends, please).


What was it like after pregnancy?

Pertaining to stress, responsibility, gender roles, and finance.


Thanks for your time.

If the mom used to work before delivery, you need to save a bunch of money before the baby comes. That way one parent can be with the new born for some extended time (beyond what the workplace offers) before returning to work. If saving is not feasible, then consider lifestyle modification so that the reduced income won’t hit hard.

The stress is going to stress. Not much way around that unless you have good help. That reduces stress. Newborns don’t sleep. Max is 3-4 hours at a stretch on a goodnight. But they get better as they get older.

The only gender roles that apply in this situation is who will push the baby out and breast feed. (Mom) Everything else is can be done by anyone. If she feels up to it, awesome. If she doesn’t, then her partner has to step up or you outsource. Wahala no dey finish.

Newborns start to laugh and giggle at around 3-4 months. Their laughter is so sweet and will make you very happy whenever it happens. So there’s a rainbow and unicorn in all that stress.

cococandy:


If the mom used to work before delivery, you need to save a bunch of money before the baby comes. That way one parent can be with the new born for some extended time (beyond what the workplace offers) before returning to work. If saving is not feasible, then consider lifestyle modification so that the reduced income won’t hit hard.

The stress is going to stress. Not much way around that unless you have good help. That reduces stress. Newborns don’t sleep. Max is 3-4 hours at a stretch on a goodnight. But they get better as they get older.

The only gender roles that apply in this situation is who will push the baby out and breast feed. (Mom) Everything else is can be done by anyone. If she feels up to it, awesome. If she doesn’t, then her partner has to step up or you outsource. Wahala no dey finish.

Newborns start to laugh and giggle at around 3-4 months. Their laughter is so sweet and will make you very happy whenever it happens. So there’s a rainbow and unicorn in all that stress.

Thanks. I'm learning to be a good husband and father.

Kamachicho:
Until the birth you just don't realise the amount of load you are carrying. You feel light and relieved. Then tired especially when you did the pushing. After which joy and wonder sets in looking/admiring the baby that your body housed for nine months (more/less). God's favour room here I come again

how does pushing feel like compared to expelling waste product from the body. I want to know

cococandy:
I was angry after my first child. I felt betrayed by my under-preparation for the pains that followed . Because we are all led to believe that the pain and troubles ends after labor.

Those first 3-4 months are no joke. It’s literally the fourth trimester. Exhaustion from lack of sleep and the physical toll your body just went through. Super sore breastss and nippless. It’s painful.
Hormonal shifts that cause drastic mood swings. Balancing work, family and the new baby.

We should talk about it more so that new moms-to-be can be better prepared. It’s not all cuteness and happiness like they think

is that part of the lactating process

chatinent:

Thanks. I'm learning to be a good husband and father.

congratulations

Arizoner:
is that part of the lactating process

It is. However it can be made worse by plugged milk ducts and mastitis. Which are very common especially when the newborn is still learning to latch on and drain the breast completely during each feed time.

After breastfeeding and milk flow had been established, the occurrences of both decrease so the mom might only have to deal with cracked sore nippless which are much more tolerable than mastitis.

ImaIma1:


I don born o. I was warned not to scratch my belly because it used to itch so much. I resisted scratching all through. I didn't have any stretch marks.

what were your major cravings after birth.

chatinent:
So, this is a question for both wives and husbands (not girlfriend and boyfriends, please).


What was it like after pregnancy?

Pertaining to stress, responsibility, gender roles, and finance.


Thanks for your time.

Having a baby, I mean the actual act of putting to bed is like you died, went to heaven and came back. I just had my fourth and had to be put to sleep (General Anesthesia) to have the CS because the clueless Anesthesiologist tried, unsuccessfully, for 2 hours to get an epidural in. It was like I died and came back, very surreal. Family dynamics of having one more child will be different and the mother, the dad, the couple as a unit, and the family as a whole will have to work through all of that to find a new equilibrium at the end of the tunnel. So no hard and fast rule about gender roles. There will be some things like breast-feeding that only the mom can do ( unless she expresses her milk through pumping, in which case the dad can bottle-feed the baby breast milk if mom is resting) but things like diaper change, kangaroo care etc are all fair game. If extended family is there to pitch in, that's good, and if not all is not lost. All hands have to be on deck and the entire family must show each other grace and patience because it is a period of adjustment.

Arizoner:
what were your major cravings after birth.

Cold water

chatinent:

Thanks. I'm learning to be a good husband and father.

This is good.

This is actually a good topic.

OyinNurse:


Having a baby, I mean the actual act of putting to bed is like you died, went to heaven and came back. I just had my fourth and had to be put to sleep (General Anesthesia) to have the CS because the clueless Anesthesiologist tried, unsuccessfully, for 2 hours to get an epidural in. It was like I died and came back, very surreal. Family dynamics of having one more child will be different and the new mother, the dad, the couple as a unit, and the family as a whole will have to work through all of that to find a new equilibrium at the end of the tunnel. So no hard and fast rule about gender roles. There will be some things like breast-feeding that only the mom can do ( unless she expresses her milk through pumping, in which case the dad can bottle-feed the baby breast milk if mom is resting) but things like diaper change, kangaroo care etc are all fair game. If extended family is there to pitch in, that's good, and if not all is not lost. All hands have to be on deck and the entire family must show each other grace and patience because it is a period of adjustment.

This is a very great piece.

Thank you so much for sharing this.