Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by ufotty2001: 7:25am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Avast:
Has she married? she is not married.. I am an average man, I don't smoke, don't drink alcohol or don't womanize.. only thing she see that make are say like that is because am not a church goer or properly I don't speak in tough. |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Nobody: 7:25am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Tloc:
My dear young lady, that path of religious piety which you assume you on is your step to DOOM. Stay woke and refine your RELIGIOUS views to be in tandem with contemporary life realities and grow your inert spirituality. Be far away from religious extremism and you would live a more fulfilled LIFE. I am sure that young man's mind and soul is purer than all your Pentecostal pastors' put together. Shalom. what do you mean by contemporary reality? are you assuming that christianity metamorphosizes as time changes? if that is the case, then you are wrong |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by bonnyhope: 7:26am On Jun 24, 2021 |
You are weak in spirit
So if you are in Catholic, you cannot be born again
Folllow follow christain |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by BRATISLAVA: 7:27am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Chukwuzobam89:
My sister, if you consider yourself a true Christian and his only crime is not being a fanatic christain, don't make a mistake of losing a soul that you will win for God, not through your belief/words but through your Christlike love and life. Surprisely, that man will be much better than those that are like you. In the long run, your (fiance')husband will be convinced that truly you are a child of God by deed and would like to share in it. Many who claimed born again are judgemental and it breeds hate and discontent with people around whom you feel aren't born again. Go and read your Bible especially the new testament, you will see what God said about marriage between a believer and an unbeliever. Let love rule, stop being judgemental, it will destroy you. God came for sinners, not the righteous. This is your work on Earth, to love and win over souls to God, not pushing them away, especially when his only crime is being a Catholic. I was a Catholic but got married to an Anglican and l don't feel less a Christian. God knows his own no matter the denomination you are in, it's only left for you to seek him with all your heart and live like Christ, who never pushed sinners away, he gathered them in his folds and won them over with his love and deeds. Same goes with Paul who converted sinners, love them and see God working in them through your ministrations.
However, If you feel otherwise, then free him than subjecting that man to constant condemnation from you. Marry someone with a different belief to yours to convert them? A recipe for marital failure. 1 Like |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by West2019(m): 7:27am On Jun 24, 2021 |
You never raise any meaningful point, you will ended up marry yourself at the end rubbish . |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by oshie(m): 7:27am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Am certain the guy will end up regretting marrying you.
Save this post and visit it when he starts regretting knowing you. The likes of you are why we have issues of marriage every.
You are getting married cos your younger sister has married before you and not because you have anything to bring to the marriage portfolio so the marriage can work. Your kind of Christianity is a disgrace to christiandom. Contact me when you fail in your marriage so I can reset you brain for free while I keep praying for your man to scale through what he found himself into.
Till then as you keep worshiping your pastor GO - and probably satisfy his urge. 1 Like |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Owologbo(m): 7:27am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Eduboy1990: my advice is if you can change him ,go ahead with the marriage , since you are a female I believe you can do it with power of GOD,but if he is a male please quit the marriage, because a woman can change a man but a man can never change a woman So you believe a every man can just wake up and change his faith because of a woman, because she's the only lady on planet Earth. ok. |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by elhafeez(m): 7:28am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Finally got the evidence that other Christian doctrine believe Catholics bare not Christians "but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then.". Discrimination every where. Na wa o. |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by ALLFATHER14: 7:28am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Eduboy1990: my advice is if you can change him ,go ahead with the marriage , since you are a female I believe you can do it with power of GOD,but if he is a male please quit the marriage, because a woman can change a man but a man can never change a woman As per na him no get power of God na!!?? |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Kennnnn: 7:28am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Is obvious that young man is making a mistake with the kind of mindset you have, please save him by not marring him coz your the problems himself, your God for you to think your saved because of church.. |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Nobody: 7:29am On Jun 24, 2021 |
CharisEleos: If he's a devoted catholist, you can still consider him. Though there's still going to be little differences and clashes in your religious beliefs and practices. I know because I was born a Catholic. You'll also revert back to being a Catholic once he marries you. Are you ready to go back?
Also remember catholic doctrines which does not allow children to be baptized unless the parents wedded in Catholic.
If you know you can cope with all that change and going back, it's up to you. Otherwise retract any plans from going ahead because You can't change a man. Don't try and make that mistake to avoid stories that touch.
You will just open your mouth and utter absolute rubbish you know nothing about. Please paste a post or link supporting your post or forever keep shut. |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Piddo(m): 7:31am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Dis one never serious. |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Ghostmode2two(m): 7:31am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Stop this religious bigotry. Is your fiance worshipping another God totally different from your own? You don't know what you want in your life |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Vulcan24(m): 7:31am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Can't even understand the issue here |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Akalia(m): 7:32am On Jun 24, 2021 |
mugnmuffin: Dear Nairalanders, I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.
Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.
At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms... You don't love him, Nne. If you are really born again as you claim then you should be on fire and if that be the case then you can actually impart him spiritually and brush him up with time. After all, iron sharpens iron. There is a place in the book of first Corinthians that suggests that an unbelieving partner or should I say a partner that is not born again can actually be saved becasue of his or her believing partner or born again partner. |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Chachangi: 7:32am On Jun 24, 2021 |
My sister, don’t be deceived.
I know a couple that are having the problem you are envisaging.
If you’re not sure , don’t do it, so that you won’t regret your marriage.
On the flip side, even if he’s Pentecostal, you still can’t marry anybody just because they are Pentecostal there should be a great extent of compatibility 1 Like |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by ALLFATHER14: 7:33am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Beatswim: To be honest with you,the holy spirit has been ministering to you but you just decides not to yeild His call.. you are saved and you need to ask God for direction on whom to marry first beforr entering into any relationship at all..pls end that relationship and go back to God on your knees and seek direction from a real prophet of God for a clear direction.. So it's the guy that is not saved abi!!?? Because the saved them dey write am for face |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by francdec4(m): 7:33am On Jun 24, 2021 |
What kind of advise does it look she need. Someone who clearly stated he isn't a born again because he is a Catholic does that person need that kind of advise you are presenting. I know this kind of situation as long as that lady don't get him to join her in her so called "born again church" that man will always feel unwanted. Let her leave him since according to you she knows what she wanted. Am sure there are many of her kind where she has joined or let the new pastor find one for her and let the man find his own type. it's simple. BRATISLAVA:
She's entitled to her opinion and choices. If it gives her a problem, then she is free to make choices that she will live with. She knows what she wants.
After all, Catholics think Pentecostals aren't good Christians. They are discriminatory, so don't act like she is being bad.
The only advice you can give her is to overlook it, as he's still a Christian, unless she knows that they will have fights about it in the future that will destabilize their marriage if he is a Catholic extremist.
OP probably has other things she isn't saying, because his being Catholic isn't that big a deal if he is okay in other regards. |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Glink2018(m): 7:34am On Jun 24, 2021 |
mugnmuffin: Dear Nairalanders, I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.
Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents liked him, especially because my younger sis, is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction, I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise them, with such differing views about God, and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him, I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.
At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms... My sister, I can identify with your case...I have been in your shoe before... The issue is dicey....since your spiritual life is one of the major priorities for you in marriage, all you need to do is to discuss with him and see his willingness towards prioritizing his spiritual life and if you see that he didn't bother, the find your level because it can't pull him out from the sin life, he will either pull you into it or make you frustrated... Lukewarmness is a concern in Christianity...it is either you are hot or cold...Rev 3:16 Give him some time to change and if you don't see any changes, go for the person that matches your priority for marriage...marriage should be enjoyed and not endure... 1 Like |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Ipisi(m): 7:34am On Jun 24, 2021 |
mugnmuffin: Dear Nairalanders, I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.
Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.
At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms... So you mean there's no salvation in catholic church? Madam you're just deceiving your spiritual self.. It's like you're not ready for marriage yet |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by kingsleyabu(m): 7:34am On Jun 24, 2021 |
I am surprised you are asking nairalanders when you have God to ask. Simple tell him to give you space you want to inquire from God. Anything God tells you is the answer A wrong marriage is typically hell on earth. It is simple you have not because you ask not. Ask him he is willing and ready to answer you. |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by sigiyaya112: 7:34am On Jun 24, 2021 |
mugnmuffin: Dear Nairalanders, I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.
Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.
At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms... You are a brainwashed stupid fool. They told you that you are saved and others including your fiance ![](/faces/huh.png) Thunder will kee those who brought this evil religion called Christianity in Africa. |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Alwaysachick: 7:35am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Biglittlelois: Your church denomination will never take you to heaven, on judgement day, God will not ask for the name of your church, He is after your heart, mind, spirit, and soul,
If your man isn't spiritually inclined as you'd like, guide him through the right path with love and prayer, most couples are never on the same page spiritually, they grow along the line,
Don't loose a good man because of what you are been fed in your church, there are good and bad people in every denomination. Bad people are more in the church to be honest 1 Like |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by bolacode: 7:36am On Jun 24, 2021 |
pembisco:
But you bowdown to daddy G.O and carry his sticker all around your neck, car and house abi? Brainwashed phoool See how worthless u are! So because some cheap folks like u bow down before some daddy GO, then bowing down before graven images is justified by u. U av no standards. U are so cheap! |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by RuddyFusion(m): 7:36am On Jun 24, 2021 |
studentofTruth:
But you ask your pastor to pray for you. All you christians are utterly confused from A-Z. Asking a man of God to pray for me is not same as praying to the mam of God..... You can't pray to any other under any guise , you only pray to God through Christ Jesus not to Mary , Angels or any other creature of God.... And any form of praying with images and statues is idolatry.....it's that simple |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by afroniger: 7:37am On Jun 24, 2021 |
mugnmuffin:
First, I want to apologize for the statement insinuating that Catholic Christians are less Christian compared to Pentecostals. That was not meant to be a generalization. The reason why faith is my principal concern is because, as a Christian, there are certain ethics and codes of conduct a person adopts and practices that guide their actions and decisions. It is the crux of the matter for me.
Many of the comments are asking for elaboration especially with regards to other aspects besides spirituality. Some of the red flags in terms of his attitude and behavior that give me cause for concern are how he relates with ladies; I found that he cheated on me a couple of times. Some of my friends who are married assure me that it is nothing to worry about because “men will always be men”. However, I feel like overlooking that means ‘settling’. Also, he tends to act like we’re competing for career success. I’m a banker and he works with a company and is well paid. From comments he makes when I make attempts to pursue growth, like take courses or attend conferences to network, his response shows that he thinks it’s a waste of time and resources. I don’t always expect him to give me financial support, even if encouragement. But he feels I should be content with my current status. It scares me that he may staunch my progress after marriage. I’m no saint myself, but I know marriage is a lifetime affair and just because I didn’t look before I leaped into the relationship doesn’t mean I shouldn’t at this point try to make amends. Your elaboration sounds more realistic and genuine than your earlier excuse of religious/spiritual incompatibility; the earlier excuse made you sound like a religious extremist. But with your elaboration, I now feel you do have some legit causes for concern about moving forward with the relationship. Though I would still caution that you not be too hasty in your decision to dump him just yet. Have you tried telling him your mind in that regard? If yes, what was his reaction? If no, why not try that before making a final decision. It could be just a mere ego tripping and an exhibition of insecurity on his part. Many men don't generally like the idea of their wives doing better than them financially (that's just the truth, and you will meet more men that fall under that category than not), but some outgrow this tendency when reality sets in at some point, especially during the marriage journey (when they come to appreciate the advantages and support of a financially buoyant and independent wife). My advice is that you weigh his overall character and consider if his 'good' sides outweigh his 'bad'. In other words, do his good sides overshadow the not so good ones? If yes, then you can tolerate him enough to 'settle' with them. Make no mistake about it, we all have to 'settle' to some extent when picking a life-partner because you will never get everything you want in a partner, as a matter of fact only a lucky minute few get most of what they want in a partner. In reality, most successful marriages comprise of partners who are willing to 'settle' or compromise, because even you will yourself will never meet the complete expectations of any man on earth. If you two can weather enough storms together in marriage (and some serious storms would definitely come), then you begin to grow into each other and see/accept the perfection in your imperfections as individuals. In the end, all of us just dey manage and tolerate each other because nobody holy pass. 4 Likes |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Datiboboy12: 7:37am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Omo you no get any case you are looking for a deeper life member as a husband..werey |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Ipisi(m): 7:38am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Bola146: I don't really get your points. Which God? Is he worshipping something else?! Seriously I don't get it. Maybe you should ask yourself what is causing the confusion ![sad](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/sad.png) She's just confusing herself... So by her implications, anybody attending Catholic church is not saved ?? Some persons are just confused. I think she's not ready for marriage or that probably the guy is not rich enough |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Bodinya: 7:38am On Jun 24, 2021 |
You take Catholics as infidels, the root and the backbone of Christianity. How will you get married or a better character that man can see in you? Absolutely no. |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Obiorahpcfg: 7:39am On Jun 24, 2021 |
Just listen to the trash you are saying from your gutter mouth. Anyway i blame the type of family that raised you. If u Were trained in the right background, you should have known that st peter the founder of Catholic faith was not stupid. Who told you, leaving that your new found faith won't be a mere dream because i see you as a church harlot!!!
Ochanga market does not know if one person does not trade there |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by dinero101(m): 7:40am On Jun 24, 2021 |
mugnmuffin: Dear Nairalanders, I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.
Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.
At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms... Na WA for your mentality o. When someone is a Muslim it's problem to you, now someone is a catholic again and u say he hasn't been saved, even your fellow Christian brother no still reach you? This is a clear indication that Nigeria's problem isn't religion but mental decay. Aunty shake your head to see if it still contains something.... |
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by ScamHunter: 7:40am On Jun 24, 2021 |
mugnmuffin: Dear Nairalanders, I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.
Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.
At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms... even coming here is a mistake, because the same devil that wants you to fall into this trap will send people to encourage you to go on, that catholicism is no big deal. Let me tell you this, go back to God. End the relationship because it is not founded on Jesus. Let me give you another hint: the fear of man and what people will say may make you continue, but be sure of this: if you go ahead in this marriage, I see you wishing to turn back the hand of the clock when it is already too late. Marrying an unbeliever is the easiest path to an unhappy marriage. Just see it as a disaster waiting to happen. My sister, RUN. 1 Like |