We oftentimes don't know what we have until we lose it.

Please let us hear word and for your information she's right about that number 2,in marriage a man should provide everything and its solely depend on your wife's decision to assist you or not,its not a mandatory task.Women are care givers and not providers, you can't expect a woman to provide and still respect you it usually don't happen that way.She's not here to say her own side so nobody has the right to condemn her yet. No be Nigerian men again mtchewww

Bro I only read stuff as a guest. this your post made me register on nairaland. I am in this same boat the, threats, jealousy, anger, no support financially,( I earn very well to take care of the family but it can be exhausting sometimes) etc. but we have Kids . I salute your courage bro. you need to be in this shoes to understand what this bro went through. you can comment and call names but you just can't understand. I feel you and I am very happy for you. thanks for speaking up and being an encouragement. a lot of men are going through shit all in the name of love. forget redplliers. we are not built to be violent, we geniuely care for people, that just how we are wired. but we are taken for granted and our nature taken for weakness.

Why does everybody keep advising single men to avoid ladies raised by single mothers



Contact me for your pedigree dog of your choice. Waybill available to any location free of charge

Ladies and gentlemen... breakfast is served.

Fun fact is pretending not to know anything when in fact you know everything.
Sorry brother.
If you're reading this, read his words again and again. Those are pieces of advise I can't give to anyone because I believe in experience. I see through his pain. Sad.

Pecoleee345:
So over last weekend....I called family meeting my mum,elder brother and I went to my wife parents house...her family members were present.

They wanted to resolve things between us but no one gave a Bleep about me....they asked her to speak and she said alot of things both truth and lies.
I was lambasted from both sides and I let them finished properly before dropping the bomb......I looked into her eye straight up and told her am divorcing you.

They were all stunned.... they were now interested in my side of the story.

I decided not to say anything.....am not the type that bad mouth people to score points or look good (my ex-wife is very good at that)....I just told her family to demand the truth from her.

My device to young men.
1.make sure u know the background of the lady u wanna get involved with....there way of life etc
The mistake I made wasn't evaluating her background......we from completely different backgrounds....eg where she comes from people talking crazy and shouting at one another isn't a big deal but me it was a Taboo infact in my parent house u can't talk with high tones for normal discussions.

2.See forget love and looks......Make sure you know the main reason she wants to marry you.
I know she loves me but she had another motive which is am meant to give her everything she wants in Life....She had that mind set of her responsibilities is totally dependent on me.

She told me she can only spare or borrow me money towards doing anything in the house but is my duty to provide anything she wants even the riddicules ones.

3.For your peace of mind stay away from most ladies raised by single mothers because most her poison to hate men right from teens by there mother.
They are mostly insecure....they believe all men cheat and can never trust.
Comes with mad jealousy

They mostly have anger issue.... they will tell you I don't take shit... trying to show they are strong and can't take what there mother took despite you not doing any shit.....they want to have say in everything just to show you are equal.

They are always quick to be on the defensive
Just to mention a few

I once told my wife am not like your father when I couldn't take the policing, sneaking and threat anymore.

See as a man no one gives a shit about you..... people are sympathetic towards the female and expect you to take whatever she throws at you but you need your peace of mind.
The society has made it possible for women to get away with lot of things.

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.

Aeya sorry. Im a single mom but definitely raising my kid in love. Not all single moms bad sha

TarOrfeeek:
My current GF is from a single mother home.

Immediately I finished reading this topic. I will break up with her mentally.

Like seriosly?

Pecoleee345:


Yes my brother.....I don't want single guys to make my mistake

Its simply a reality that cannot change. Many will get it right while many wont

I think there is a stereotype about single mother stuff here.


Truth is if you are crazy, you are crazy. If you are bad you are bad forget single mum ish. Lots of mofos out there who came out from a perfectly good family but are much more bitter and I'll mannered than whatever you say. And for the records, I was raised by a single mum alongside 2 elder sisters and not for once have my sisters exhibit those traits you dare not even raise your voice in my house even with all I think I am mum still slapped me few months ago and just last week my woman sent my mum money and she tagged it for raising him right.


So stop condemning the parent who choose to stay condemn the one who can't take up responsibilities but choose to die or walk away.

TarOrfeeek:
My current GF is from a single mother home.

Immediately I finished reading this topic. I will break up with her mentally.

Ahhhhh, AWON ELEYI TU GIRAN OOOO

Pecoleee345:

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.

Alternatively (very cost efficient), once most of the box ticks and you have made up your mind and reserved enough cash for the marriage, give am belly, if e enter proceed

Two Captains cannot be in one boat. ( the both of them should calm down)
The problem lies with both of you.
She cannot take shit. You cannot take shit. So, who will now take the shit? Pride.

Pride goes before a fall. That is what has befallen your marriage.
When you learn to get off your high horses, you both will be cohabitable.

The problem with many couples is that they place themselves higher than the other. Now you talked about her trying to measure up to you ( equality). What made you see her as trying to do that if you yourself have not placed yourself so high.? Even before God, we all are equal. So why think you are higher than someone else? Your better half for that matter.

It's normal for two people to have a misunderstanding. But you should learn to to let go immediately and also try to avoid anything that will cause any further misunderstanding. If you see it coming, quickly turn it to a joke. Is she sees it coming, let her do same. but no. Rather you'll feel, "Why should I be the one to backdown" let him /her go to hell!!!!!!. Ego.

If you can't manage your first marriage then you'll not be able to manage the next. mind you the other woman will be coming with a baggage of her own character flaws.

No one is perfect.

MODIFIED: for those misconstruing my first point.

My point is not contradictory because in this context, i only used that first point of mine to stress the fact that where two people are acting the boss, the end result is always the OPs predicament and I wasn't trying to place or stress any hierachial order here. The both of them should /kolm/ down.

You guys misconstrued my first point. Thats by the way though.

Now, when i say we are all equal, I'm simply saying they both have equal rights to respect for each other. That it shouldn't be one sided. The fact that the man is the head doesn't give him the right to abuse the woman and expect to be respected in return just to prove a point that he's the captain.
What's good for the goose is also good for the gander hence my advice for them to drop the mentality of who is the head and treat each other equally with love and respect. After all, they twain have become one.

I'm not trying to displace the man's position here but simply saying he shouldn't rub it in her face but lead by example as the head.

Shebi, all of una like wetin Booboo they do us, since na him be the head?
Ok.

elay44:
Bro I only read stuff as a guest. this your post made me register on nairaland. I am in this same boat the, threats, jealousy, anger, no support financially,( I earn very well to take care of the family but it can be exhausting sometimes) etc. but we have Kids . I salute your courage bro. you need to be in this shoes to understand what this bro went through. you can comment and call names but you just can't understand. I feel you and I am very happy for you. thanks for speaking up and being an encouragement. a lot of men are going through shit all in the name of love. forget redplliers. we are not built to be violent, we geniuely care for people, that just how we are wired. but we are taken for granted and our nature taken for weakness.

Some people will not understand this

Most men going through this will never talk about it.
If you want to take a stand as a man, the noise from her just keep increasing and the society supports her and treats you as not being able to handle your marital issues.

Not just single moms, same effect if they dad is hostile to the mum (domestic violence). My ex was already wired to attack my every word and action. We tried to help her get counseling but she still was same. She ain't violent physical but damn, she is a psychopath.

She used to say she is damaged psychologically.

Had to let her I know I need my peace of mind, after doing my best but since change was forthcoming. My peace is mind is important. I just pray she finds someone who can handle her and most importantly, I pray she changes as well.

If she says she was raised by a single mother then you'll need to unlock your third eye and sense.

I have a feeling I know this person

TarOrfeeek:
My current GF is from a single mother home.

Immediately I finished reading this topic. I will break up with her mentally.

Ha! This one dey find excuse to break up since

obinna58:

If she says she was raised by a single mother then you'll need to unlock your third eye and sense.

No be lie

Pecoleee345:
l
Yea.....i messed up in that aspect..... Especially the background check and way of life.

The worst one was the medical check it was two years into marriage I found out she had weak womb due to abortion....

Jesus Christ

She is in father house.....I don't expect her to spend her money.....her father should continue from where I stopped.

They want right but not equal responsibility...

Rozcol:
Please let us hear word and for your information she's right about that number 2,in marriage a man should provide everything and its solely depend on your wife's decision to assist you or not,its not a mandatory task.Women are care givers and not providers, you can't expect a woman to provide and still respect you it usually don't happen that way.She's not hear to say her own side so nobody has the right to condemn her yet. No be Nigerian men again mtchewww

Ishilove:
Op, nobody is perfect. Let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone.

So make man pikin die because no one is perfect

This thing called marriage
If it ain't working
Na to find the exit door
Cause one can't die of unhappiness

Many human being carry plenty baggages

TarOrfeeek:
My current GF is from a single mother home.

Immediately I finished reading this topic. I will break up with her mentally.

what if she is a good girl,study her very well before u leave her,,u can't judge because of the story u read here

Rozcol:
Please let us hear word and for your information she's right about that number 2,in marriage a man should provide everything and its solely depend on your wife's decision to assist you or not,its not a mandatory task.Women are care givers and not providers, you can't expect a woman to provide and still respect you it usually don't happen that way.She's not hear to say her own side so nobody has the right to condemn her yet. No be Nigerian men again mtchewww

Abegi make we hear word

A woman must bring something to the table when coming into marriage

A topic was trending on Twitter some days ago where one guy put his condition for marrying any woman includes her financial assets/ capability and her academic potentials

And many guys affirmed to that

Many guys are now considering a woman's financial capability before marriage unlike before where they shoulder everything

Ishilove:
Op, nobody is perfect. Let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone.

A typical Naija lady's defensive argument. Una no dey ever change tactics ni?

Meanwhile, I'm patiently waiting for that deranged one to come and scream the future is 'female'.

elay44:
Bro I only read stuff as a guest. this your post made me register on nairaland. I am in this same boat the, threats, jealousy, anger, no support financially,( I earn very well to take care of the family but it can be exhausting sometimes) etc. but we have Kids . I salute your courage bro. you need to be in this shoes to understand what this bro went through. you can comment and call names but you just can't understand. I feel you and I am very happy for you. thanks for speaking up and being an encouragement. a lot of men are going through shit all in the name of love. forget redplliers. we are not built to be violent, we geniuely care for people, that just how we are wired. but we are taken for granted and our nature taken for weakness.

Before I used to berate redpillers but I come to realize they are talking facts

The worst that can happen to a man is married to a woman that you cater for everything but she doesn't appreciate it but rather makes everything miserable for you

Such an interesting novel


#applauds

CharisEleos:
Twp Captains cannot be in one boat.
The problem lies with both of you.
She cannot take shit. You cannot take shit. So, who will now take the shit? Pride.

Pride goes before a fall. That is what has befallen your marriage.
When you learn to get off your high horses, you both will be cohabitable.

The problem with many couples is that they place themselves higher than the other. Now you talked about her trying to measure up to you ( equality). What made you see her as trying to do that if you yourself has not placed yourself so high.? Even before God, we all are equal. So why think you are higher than someone else? Your better half for that matter.

It's normal for two people to have a misunderstanding. But you should learn to to let go immediately and also try to avoid anything that will cause any further misunderstanding. If you see it coming, quickly turn it to a joke. Is she sees it coming, let her do same. but no. Rather you'll feel, "Why should I be the one to backdown" let him /her go to hell!!!!!!. Ego.

If you can't manage your first marriage then you'll not be able to manage the next. mind you the other woman will be coming with a baggage of her own character flaws.

No one is perfect.

I think you're missing the point. Although I won't mind engaging you intellectually sha, but I just need to ask you one question; are you married? Unless you're married, you probably won't understand half of what the OP typed up there.

PS- I'm not in any way taking sides o, especially when I haven't heard from the lady involved. However, I hate to see someone miss the point of a discourse all in a bid to express his opinion.

CharisEleos:
Twp Captains cannot be in one boat.
The problem lies with both of you.
She cannot take shit. You cannot take shit. So, who will now take the shit? Pride.

Pride goes before a fall. That is what has befallen your marriage.
When you learn to get off your high horses, you both will be cohabitable.

The problem with many couples is that they place themselves higher than the other. Now you talked about her trying to measure up to you ( equality). What made you see her as trying to do that if you yourself has not placed yourself so high.? Even before God, we all are equal. So why think you are higher than someone else? Your better half for that matter.

It's normal for two people to have a misunderstanding. But you should learn to to let go immediately and also try to avoid anything that will cause any further misunderstanding. If you see it coming, quickly turn it to a joke. Is she sees it coming, let her do same. but no. Rather you'll feel, "Why should I be the one to backdown" let him /her go to hell!!!!!!. Ego.

If you can't manage your first marriage then you'll not be able to manage the next. mind you the other woman will be coming with a baggage of her own character flaws.

No one is perfect.

But in marriage
The man is the captain

The main issue is that many ladies no dey gree nowadays
And men too are becoming much hardened

So the marriage don already get k leg

ravensckar:
I think you're missing the point. Although I won't mind engaging you intellectually sha, but I just need to ask you one question; are you married? Unless you're married, you probably won't understand half of what the OP typed up there.

PS- I'm not in any way taking sides o, especially when I haven't heard from the lady involved. However, I hate to see someone miss the point of a discourse all in a bid to express his opinion.

My response was not to this post here. after reading this, I knew it was an update of a previous post somewhere. So, I went to his profile and found the previous post. That was what I responded to.

Maybe you'll want to read that first so you can understand my submission better.


author=djon78 post=104184179]

But in marriage
The man is the captain

Drop this mentality

The main issue is that many ladies no dey gree nowadays
And men too are becoming much hardened

So the marriage don already get k leg[/

Exactly my point.

CharisEleos:


My response was not to this post here. after reading this, I knew it was an update of a previous post somewhere. So, I went to his profile and found the previous post. That was what I responded to.

Maybe you'll want to read that first so you can understand my submission better.


author=djon78 post=104184179]



Drop this mentality


Exactly my point.

My apologies for misunderstanding you then.

I've been a bit bored, hence I needed someone to have a 'word match'.

CharisEleos:


My response was not to this post here. after reading this, I knew it was an update of a previous post somewhere. So, I went to his profile and found the previous post. That was what I responded to.

Maybe you'll want to read that first so you can understand my submission better.


author=djon78 post=104184179]



Drop this mentality


Exactly my point.

Why should I drop the mentality

I am the captain in my relationship

My woman understands that fact and accedes to it wholly

Maybe you can tell that to the men that believe otherwise