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My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Marriage Has Failed Me! / My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do / My Marriage Has Finally Ended (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Yusufisraelj(m): 8:52pm On Jul 28, 2021
elay44:
Bro I only read stuff as a guest. this your post made me register on nairaland. I am in this same boat the, threats, jealousy, anger, no support financially,( I earn very well to take care of the family but it can be exhausting sometimes) etc. but we have Kids . I salute your courage bro. you need to be in this shoes to understand what this bro went through. you can comment and call names but you just can't understand. I feel you and I am very happy for you. thanks for speaking up and being an encouragement. a lot of men are going through shit all in the name of love. forget redplliers. we are not built to be violent, we geniuely care for people, that just how we are wired. but we are taken for granted and our nature taken for weakness.


My brother you may be saying the truth, but you see I've been a candidate of massive failures both in life and career and even a first attempt at settling down, though young, however I have this observation to table. Every limitation in a person's life is a reflection of the price that person has paid on the inside as regards that matter, that is who you're becoming is more important than the things you do as you go about your day to day activities. You can be as sincere, caring and innocent as a dove, it's not the seed for certain levels of life's Results. What informs your actions/decisions is superior than your action.


This not a motivational piece, it speaks to reality, every failure in marriage has its fingers on both sides, I'm not saying what was done to the OP is right, but there are certain things one will know and do and by life's principles, it will be unfair certain failures occur in that person's life. This may not sound nice but sincerely it's something I've learnt over time.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by jimmychang: 9:07pm On Jul 28, 2021
Stupidquestions:
One last point....be careful with women with big yansh....cos most times..the yansh dey geh insurance for outside unknowing to the man.


Norms bro,i have female friends like that..I understand what you mean.

7 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by BigDick70inch(m): 9:13pm On Jul 28, 2021
Ishilove:
Op, nobody is perfect. Let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone.


I wonder if u lived a descent life while in Skool too......
Abi......what exactly is your point??sud an innocent man bear the blunt of her sins??

23 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Mutemenot(m): 9:18pm On Jul 28, 2021
I wish my friend could see this thread, his own hell is on this earth; courtesy of wife trained by a single mother...
our women are becoming trap, looking for who to catch and, they re after the good men in the society to devour...

28 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 9:18pm On Jul 28, 2021
djon78:




Abegi make we hear word

A woman must bring something to the table when coming into marriage

A topic was trending on Twitter some days ago where one guy put his condition for marrying any woman includes her financial assets/ capability and her academic potentials

And many guys affirmed to that

Many guys are now considering a [b]woman's financial capability [/b]before marriage unlike before where they shoulder everything

Very important, I know two brothers lets say A and B. A is chesting the whole bills because his wife isn't working even if he receives higher than the other brother B who is married to a professional.

Brother A salary is no match compare to the combined salary of B and his wife. Looking at them B is doing so so so well compare to A. I was advised, if I'm getting married I should make such she is working not because you want her money but it will ease you some financial stress. Me sef na doctor I wan marry their head they house, I dey try build myself to that financial level where I fit marry doctor.

12 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by rosalieene(f): 9:22pm On Jul 28, 2021
Rozcol:
Please let us hear word and for your information she's right about that number 2,in marriage a man should provide everything and its solely depend on your wife's decision to assist you or not,its not a mandatory task.Women are care givers and not providers, you can't expect a woman to provide and still respect you it usually don't happen that way.She's not hear to say her own side so nobody has the right to condemn her yet. No be Nigerian men again mtchewww
I was so surprised when I saw that number 2.
Nigerian men don't realise that women respect men that are providers more. Those kind of men don't even scream submission, it comes to them automatically because they have proven to be the HEAD.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 9:23pm On Jul 28, 2021
rosalieene:

I was so surprised when I saw that number 2.
Nigerian men don't realise that women respect men that are providers more. Those kind of men don't even scream submission, it comes to them automatically because they have proven to be the HEAD.
Please loud it dear

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by WisdomHunter(m): 9:23pm On Jul 28, 2021
That number three is very true

Girls that raised by divorced single mother

They grew up hating men or being Nigeria feminists, entirely bitter

20 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Xilsbridalhouse(f): 9:25pm On Jul 28, 2021
Ikwerelastborn:


Lol the bleeding holes are gathering to have a feast cheesy
Oh no...I am just not bias in my opinions, but having read so many stories here, it’s okay to feel many people come out here to act as saints.


Read this.

1 Like

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by NoToPile: 9:27pm On Jul 28, 2021
The vibes I am getting from posts on this thread is that men no longer want to be providers.

9 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by rosalieene(f): 9:27pm On Jul 28, 2021
Pecoleee345:
She is in father house.....I don't expect her to spend her money.....her father should continue from where I stopped.

They want right but not equal responsibility...
Now I see your problem.
Your problem is mainly centred on EQUAL FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES hence why your problem escalated.
When you were courting, you were supposed to discuss this.
You're a man, own up to your responsibilities.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Bunmhi(f): 9:28pm On Jul 28, 2021
Ehya
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by rosalieene(f): 9:30pm On Jul 28, 2021
djon78:



But in marriage
The man is the captain

The main issue is that many ladies no dey gree nowadays
And men too are becoming much hardened

So the marriage don already get k leg
You can't want to be a Captain and still be fighting for equal financial responsibilities, where is it heard??
If you want to be a Captain, own up to your responsibilities, it's that simple

5 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 9:31pm On Jul 28, 2021
rosalieene:

Now I see your problem.
Your problem is mainly centred on EQUAL FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES hence why your problem escalated.
When you were courting, you were supposed to discuss this.
You're a man, own up to your responsibilities.
Tell him ooo ,you will be shocked if his wife was here to share her own side of the story

4 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by rosalieene(f): 9:37pm On Jul 28, 2021
southniyikaye:
there are some of us that provides even to her underwear and still took pain in helping setting her up and what did we get in return?
It's saddening and so unfortunate.
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Made619(m): 9:39pm On Jul 28, 2021
rosalieene:

Now I see your problem.
Your problem is mainly centred on EQUAL FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES hence why your problem escalated.
When you were courting, you were supposed to discuss this.
You're a man, own up to your responsibilities.
You better drop this nonsense men taking up responsibility shit. So he should take responsibility for a lady that damaged hoe , who damaged her womb while sleeping around and aborting babies during her school days? you sound like a feminist.

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by rosalieene(f): 9:41pm On Jul 28, 2021
Made619:
You better drop this nonsense men taking up responsibility shit. So he should take responsibility for a lady that damaged hoe , who damaged her womb while sleeping around and aborting babies during her school days? you sound like a feminist.
Yen yen yen
Anyone that have a contrary opinion to you is a FEMINIST.
Ambassador for Anti Feminism, I hail you.
I have made my point, and that is it.

3 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Susily(m): 9:42pm On Jul 28, 2021
Rozcol:
If you don't have any proof then eat all you typed and let it choke you.I repeat op is a liar,he's not saying it as it happened. To find responsible Nigerian men is a herculean task and this one come to cook stories for us.mtchewww

You keep asking for proof yet you are so assertive that the op is a liar, since you are so sure that he's a liar, what's your proof to back your assertion??

11 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Susily(m): 9:48pm On Jul 28, 2021
rosalieene:

Now I see your problem.
Your problem is mainly centred on EQUAL FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES hence why your problem escalated.
When you were courting, you were supposed to discuss this.
You're a man, own up to your responsibilities.


The op is a FEMINIST SYMPATHIZER, so he's right with his assertion

Women now want equal rights with men but they forget that such rights come with equal responsibilities also

Op is a TRUE FEMINIST who believes that gender equality comes with equal rights and equal responsibilities, not the Hypocritical feminism most women subscribe to

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by cayorday89(m): 9:53pm On Jul 28, 2021
ravensckar:
I think you're missing the point. Although I won't mind engaging you intellectually sha, but I just need to ask you one question; are you married? Unless you're married, you probably won't understand half of what the OP typed up there.

PS- I'm not in any way taking sides o, especially when I haven't heard from the lady involved. However, I hate to see someone miss the point of a discourse all in a bid to express his opinion.
That lady really went out of point, someone that wants to be equal but yet running away from responsibility and not even ready to fend for herself or overlook little things...
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by cayorday89(m): 9:58pm On Jul 28, 2021
Xilsbridalhouse:

Oh no...I am just not bias in my opinions, but having read so many stories here, it’s okay to feel many people come out here to act as saints.


Read this.

Can you share link to this, let me update myself fully..
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by rosalieene(f): 10:09pm On Jul 28, 2021
Susily:



The op is a FEMINIST SYMPATHIZER, so he's right with his assertion

Women now want equal rights with men but they forget that such rights come with equal responsibilities also

Op is a TRUE FEMINIST who believes that gender equality comes with equal rights and equal responsibilities, not the Hypocritical feminism most women subscribe to
Well, he might be a FEMINIST but if he is demanding for respect and EQUAL FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES, then he is not a feminist ooo.

This whole wahala could have been avoided during their courtship.
They should have raised this topic of finances. It would have saved them the drama of this day.

1 Like

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by cayorday89(m): 10:11pm On Jul 28, 2021
Thereddevil:

Our forefathers married women for farm works.. They indirectly brought something to the table.. A hunter's wife probably worked as a hairdresser or sold bush meats at the market.. No one paid school fees then, all the children did was learn from their parents.. The sons became hunters like their father and the daughters learnt respect and management from their mother.. Don't make it sound like our forefathers carried all the burdens, they only captained the ship and their wives served as chief officers/first mates... Whenever it seemed the husband got broke, the wife from her managerial skill(savings from what the husband gave) or from her earnings(from making hairs, beads, market sales) would support her husband to make sure the family's shame is hidden until the husband is back on track.. Some days, a hunter would go hunting without a meat, a farmer would look stupid when there's no rain.. You didn't learn well from the forefathers
When people compare women of now to women of then, I begin to wonder, who were the women who carried large quantity of farm produce to the market to be sold, or animals killed by the men, who were the tailors, weavers, stylists, claypot makers, market women selling all sorts, and so many I can't recollect, or do they think women of old sat home all day, the truth is know who you married or will marry and know what they are comfortable with, some men prefer their wives to be stay home and some prefer them to work and fend for little things the woman will need and some contribute as much as she can to the general needs of the family and some just want the woman to have that spirit of making and earning money due to unforeseen circumstances happening to the man, there will be easy navigation before the man picks up.. Truly, life is not that difficult humans made it so...

17 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by solidmyk(m): 10:30pm On Jul 28, 2021
Na dis kind issues dey make me dey uninterested with marriage matter, but thanks for the pointers op

3 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Fountainofyouth(f): 10:54pm On Jul 28, 2021
Ikwerelastborn:

Go and learn from your ancestors how to be submissive.bleeding holes


Your mother bled too right?

5 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by ekeday(m): 10:57pm On Jul 28, 2021
hmmm God pls allow me to c my ft wife be4 anytin tro wisdow. Amen
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Demigod22: 11:03pm On Jul 28, 2021
My lecturer: DeMiGoD, when you marry a good wife, you become a happy man. But when you marry a bad wife, you become a philosopher.

Grandma: Son,be careful about women. Either you marry a prayer partner or you marry a prayer point.

Me: Peace of mind over everything.

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Xilsbridalhouse(f): 11:32pm On Jul 28, 2021
cayorday89:

Can you share link to this, let me update myself fully..
https://www.nairaland.com/6470396/just-told-wifes-mum-done#100092724

2 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by 3verblazing(m): 11:35pm On Jul 28, 2021
CharisEleos:


My response was not to this post here. after reading this, I knew it was an update of a previous post somewhere. So, I went to his profile and found the previous post. That was what I responded to.

Maybe you'll want to read that first so you can understand my submission better.


author=djon78 post=104184179]



Drop this mentality


Exactly my point.

Stop contradicting urself.. two captains can not be in one ship.... so there can only be one captain in a relationship...nw thats does nt eliminate the important role a woman plays in her man's life... decisions shld be made together still. Bu the man is still the head of the home. That hierarchy must be respected for a marriage to work.

7 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by cletz991(m): 11:53pm On Jul 28, 2021
If it was the man who has low sperm count based on the results wud the woman be justified too to leave him?
Ikwerelastborn:

The test results are enough reason for him to leave her ,lol

3 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nancee4love: 11:55pm On Jul 28, 2021
Rozcol:
Mother Theresa well done ooo,you should have asked if I'm already engaged or not and I don't pray to ever meet the likes of your brothers who doesn't know their right from left.If its your choice to suffer with a man what's my own there? and if its my choice not to suffer with any man how e take concern you? The op is a liar and wisdom demands that we read both sides before passing judgement but he succeeded in winning you all to his pity party game.
I still pity that man you are engaged to. Your mindset is wack and u are. Ot ready for marriage go fix yourself please and let that young man go. A woman who loves her man supports him.
I can't call you a wife material sis to be honest you don't measure up to the yardstick.

29 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Fountainofyouth(f): 12:02am On Jul 29, 2021
@Pecoleee345 you are the cause of your problem not your wife, your wife is never at fault

1) You admitted you were carried away by beauty and whatsapp status instead of doing due dilligence

2) You did not table out how financial responsibilities would be shared before marrying her, if you did, you would have simply bounced out if you are not cool with taking full responsibility, you cannot force your mentality you feel is right, on another person who feels her own mentality is also right,

3) You admitted she told your family members and hers lies and truth, so why didn't you tell us the truths that is your fault? Why did you instead choose to tell us only her faults?

4) You said your family also joined in castigating you for all she said, even the lies, that means you were also castigated on her truth of your own faults, why didn't you clear the air and also tell them about the weak womb if you were that innocent as you opined?

5) There are so many reasons why she keeps having miscarriage, as much as having an abortion may be one of them, that doesn't mean she can't give birth, so many women have had abortion and they have kids today, also, women who have never had any still have issues of childbirth today. Now the case of your wife can easily be solved if you would have simply Google search what causes pregnancy incompetence and how it can be solved, then you can go to a good and reputable OB/GYN for consultation, you shouldn't just pack up and give up just because you were told she has a weak womb, except you were looking for a good reason to divorce her.

*first pics below are causes of cervix incompetence, 2nd pics is a common and successful solution to solving the issue, yours may even be rhesus factor if thorough tests was actually done for her.

And lastly, the nonsensical notion of avoiding single mothers or their daughters has got to be the most foolish rant coming from nairaland dings, should we also say men brought up from single mothers should be avoided like plagues? What of ladies raised by their dads? They are also damaged? So many idiots on here capitalising on this stupid notion comes from stable background but are very damaged, bitter, and thoroughly mentally ill, should we now say children from stable background should be ignored too? Let's kuku not date or marry anyone na since there is a high probability of meeting damaged people from every home, abi we should only date stone? Idiots, see how all the resident nl manboys have already capitalise on the single mothers ish forgetting same mumu Op already said not all of them are like that, na so una blind reach, to the extent that one said he would break up with his gf of a single mother, they prefer to follow bandwagon instead of using their brain to think, very daft set of people.

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