Magnoliaa:


Lmaoooooo. I'm surprised at your last line. Are you really the one saying that? Watin happen? NL prison don rebrand you? I understand it, sha. If you no learn for that prison, may I naked baff.

leave my daaaddy alone.

Magnoliaa:


Lmaoooooo. I'm surprised at your last line. Are you really the one saying that? Watin happen? NL prison don rebrand you? I understand it, sha. If you no learn for that prison, may I naked baff.

cooooooks:
Ms Magnolia, you need to stop projecting ideas onto people.

You are 'surprised' because you create narratives in your head based on Jah knows what.

Maybe when you have a conversation with someone, actually read their statements and hold them to only what they do say. Not what you tthink is implied".

enthronedbyGod1:



Comparing both is giving a soft landing to one and making it seem like a lesser evil.
I agree that most Christian men speak more on the issue of feminism than that of misogyny or sexism, and my agreeing is not in reference to your comment about righteousness not speaking against it cos I can't accuse him of nothing I know about.
However a lot of us have spoken about both, and still speak about both, so I think you should have spoken against both instead of comparing.

God bless

Magnoliaa:

1. Keep your praises to yourself
2. Stop trying to evoke a smartness you don't have: you tell me the issues in the links I posted have no correlation to feminism and still ask me what I'm doing about the issues as a feminist?
3. Again, if you hadn't made the error of number 2, you'd know I was responding to the Rondo's guy comment about the girl child having privileges the boy child do not have. To him, a male faces more discrimination than a female. The point of my links was to counter that. The instances he gave do not automatically sets the boy child below the female child. I had to look for factual articles/researches expressing my sentiments better. Anybody can claim anything.

Magnoliaa:


Na so. Gerrout. I projected nothing. You claimed feminism is nebulous and made so many claims concerning it on that thread, said it's not a thing, yet, you're defining it here? Or saying what it is/does?

I'm not doing this with you again.

descarado:

Church, church, church

Naija man will remember Bible and church when it suits them.

Magnoliaa:

Who are the Nigerian feminists and how do they misunderstand it or want more? Can you give instances? Any home in which the husband and wife do not jointly run decision and consult each other, is bound to fail. That's equality of leadership. You're automatically assuming a wife and a husband will always be against one another, therefore, clashes are bound to arise for them leading together. If they are of one mind, seamlessly synchronizing their choices and decisions, everybody'll good. So in your absence, if your wife held the forth and assume the role of decision-maker you're ascribing to the husband, that's tantamount to an insubordination? Some of y'all understand these things, but it kills you to call it feminism or see women assuming such roles. Women are capable.

There are irreligious feminists who do not subscribe to submitting and they are married. Go and nullify it.

Lmao. Okay. Let's assume these roles are reversed, what exactly is bound to go wrong? I wanna know. If Nigerian men subscribed to just 1% of the things you listed, our shout and push back wouldn't be this hard, I promise you.

Very vague open accusations. Have you even dated a feminist before? Relate well with most of them? If follows logically that if you don't like or are averse to a kind of people, you'll misrepresent what they do. What are the instances of this kind of feminism without the work you say Nigerian ladies practice? Right. If the independence of women threatens men's role in the society, there's something seriously wrong with such roles then.

queenblossom:
A woman is being raped and she is scared to speak up , because when she speak up,she will be blamed and the man will go free . I remember some years back when I was ganged raped, I couldn't open up to alter a word to anyone because in those days you there not say it. Not now that women are coming out to speak up . And now women are speaking up and they are still being condemned for speaking. And they say feminism is evil. You do not have the right to speak. And even some so called women of God ,still join the men to condemn us for speaking . We will fight this evil till we win the battle. Yes call it feminism, I don't care. The way of feminism has not even started and they are scared already. We are just in genesis now,by the time we get to malachi they will understand.

JESHAL:



They were both created equally remember, until God cursed women to be under men's authority

Don't seek plausible deniability, take responsibility for the mistake you made and bear the consequences of your actions

JESHAL:



Reality is SEXIST
Feminism is Misandrist that's why it's unpopular

socialmediaman:

Jointly running a home does not mean equality of leadership. By design, the man is the CEO of the home and the wife is perhaps the COO or CFO, if you don't agree with that, no problem, goodluck. When it comes to marriage, I'm a traditionalist with an open mind in a way that does not alter the institution and role play if that makes sense. You see, some feminists think that preparing a meal for a man and serving it on his table and clearing his table afterwards is demeaning, while at the same time they desire breakfast in bed and all the "treat her like a lady" stuff. It's not by force to be married abeg. The non-religious feminists who are married and happy, its fine, but doesn't work for religious people.

Like I said, many men already subscribe to these things, economy is not smiling and men also want their women to contribute and be treated fairly at the workplace based on their knowledge and value they bring to the table, but this is left to the employers. I do not personally discriminate when it comes to equal pay, and I also want a woman to have freedom of association and all that, but she must play her role in the home at the same time. Don't tell me you can't cook for me because you have one political or social meeting with friends, get my food ready and then do what you have to do, i don't care, don't bring in your outside business to interfere with our home and expect me to understand.

I have feminist friends and yes to your dating question as well.

Like I wrote earlier, many men already subscribe to some of what they fight for, like equal pay regardless of gender, but leave marriage out of your feminism, don't come and be contesting headship with a man, it doesn't always work or even last. In marriage each gender is expected to play a role. Both of you weigh the options, come to an agreement and he makes the decision. Sometimes the decision will not be favorable and must not be the one you suggested, it's expected that in the interest of the marriage (just like in business), you accept his decision, as it was done in the best interest of the family. He doesn't have to consult you for every single decision, that's why he is the CEO, just like he doesn't follow you around to control or decide what's in the grocery list as you're the COO.

Its not the independence of women that threatens men per se, its the idea that marriage institution between religious and traditional people should be changed and headship of house should be based on maybe who brings more money to the table, and then roles like cooking should be shared, I do today, you do tomorrow etc (not that this doesn't work for many couples anyway). Whatever works for anyone, fine and good, but once you bring in feminism into the home, it meets the opposition it deserves

Magnoliaa:

It is not the job of anybody to serve/take care of another person, especially because of their gender ≠ treating your loved ones, SO and people around you with care, respect, pampering, etc. I do not subscribe to treating a woman like a lady; I don't know about other feminists. If you think my believing in that is an invitation to be mean and insensitive, unhelpful to me, etc., okay.

Again, I ask that simple question again: if you reverse the household roles you expect of women and men, what's bound to go wrong? Flip this and simply tell me if it applies to you - is this not cognitive dissonance of sort? You say the workplace conditions should not be brought into home, and you're describing the home with work place terms. If your wife shouldn't and can't do it? Why should you? Okay. You want her to serve you. No problem. Can you do same for her? Can you do things for her and cook for her, without allowing anything outside the home to interfere?

This is not about you. If you are unaware of how demestic duty, especially compulsory domestic duties for most women (and without a supportive, sharing partner) hold them back from pursuing their career goals, that's on you.

Ohhh. Wow. My curiosity is piqued now. Someone speaking from personal experience. Like, you date feminists well? How well do you pick from that pool, so we can know how valid/justified your personal opinions of them are. I have sooo many questions about this. Only, hopefully, if you'll be willing and honest, as I can't control that. So what's your experience generally been like? Do they talk about killing you in your sleep or something, lmaoo?

So marriage is the only problem people have with feminism, according to you? See, see...there's something 'we' always say... If feminism is going to make women rebel, if feminism is going to scatter your marriage, if your kids are going to be brainwashed by 'one' feminist, then you ain't doing something. A marriage that feminism will scatter was never a good marriage of strong foundations. If 'destructive opinions' will ruin your mind, then you were never strong-willed. In fact as well, the idea that who brings in more money should lead was invented by you men and traditionalists. Yep. Feminists do not claim that a woman should lead because they bring in more money. That's why you have women buying and doing things for themselves, and lying to others by passing off what they have as coming from their husbands. Many things you claim are 'strawmans'. Purely.

Oh and thank you for mentioning the economy. If you are traditional - what kind? Or your traditionalism has been modified? Because dating feminists go contrary to that, firstly, because as a traditional man, (rigidly) subscribe to the man making money and woman staying at home? Do you demand a contributing partner? Because as a traditionalist, you shouldn't date a woman that works/brings money. The moment you believe finances and work, bringing in money should be shared by men and women, but you believe household duties should not be shared, there's a problem. Because she's sharing in 'your' role/job.

You people say things like "it's the job of a man to do this and that..." And then cry fowl when a woman believe it's your job to take care of her. You complain about how Nigerian girls are this and that. And asking what they bring to the table. What do you want them to bring, if not their bodies (and intangible qualities like nurture, etc?) If you're wanting a woman who is sufficient, but still depends on you or that you can take care of, your patriarchy is version 5 as opposed to the version 1 the men before you downloaded and played. If a woman should be an earning partner, you'll be a child-rearing and cooking partner.

socialmediaman:

Well I mentioned "role play in marriage" not anyone taking care of anyone. She does this, he does that. She cooks and cleans, he does other stuff, then they help each other out.

You see I have no problem with how couples decide to run their homes, but for people like me, reversing the roles doesn't work. If you can't play your role, at least acknowledge its your role and then ask him for help and things can get worked out, and do not forget to appreciate him for helping you out.

I have to disagree here. Domestic duties do not stop women from pursuing their career goals, or were you referring to situations where men do not help their wives with anything and intentionally prevent them from pursuing their career goals by putting so much on them? That's a form of psychological abuse and completely out of the discussion here. I encourage and support every woman to pursue her dreams the same way I would support my sisters, but getting married is a different ball game. Think about whether it works for your situation. If your man expects more than you can offer, then that should be discussed. Like i always say, marriage is not by force.

I'll pass on the questions for now, but see my response to other paragraphs about below.

Wow people still do this? Like, can't a woman buy a car for herself? (maybe you're talking about the past)

Proudly. I have traditional values but I'm not rigid, so yes my "traditionalism" are modified. I personally do not subscribe to a woman staying at home while the man works, except it's her choice. Also (hear this), there are many feminists who are stay-home moms by choice. They want to stay home and take care of home and kids, by choice. That's all they want to do, and they want a man who is fine with that. It doesn't devalue their feminism any way. That's why I said earlier that I think many Nigerian women misunderstand feminism. Some are even motivated by misandry and not feminism.

If a man can take care of her, why not? But if the economic situation needs both of them to adjust their preferences, then that's their reality, unless they are fine being poor while he takes care of her

Suzanne99:


Misandry and feminism are not the same. Abi kini Kati Kati yii

JESHAL:




Feminism has always been a bigotry movement against Masculinity by demonizing and shaming men, and distorting history to sell a victimhood, prejudice, cultural stereotype and oppression narrative of women, when men too faced worse in history but women get exclusive right to be victims because Society deems men as disposable and women as reproductively critical


Feminism hate men and are always using any medium to ridicule Masculinity, blatant Misandry