My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. - Family - Nairaland
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| My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Olivertwist1985: 7:46pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
My wife which we have been married for the past thirteen (13) years and have five(5) children, four boys and girl for me ,just left my house on Sunday to her parent house without informed me. She left because we have little disagreement about monthly food allowance which I used to give her every month but I failed to give her this month when she requested for She left with the girl which is six months old and a boy two years and left three boys for me. Please I need your advice, should I go and beg her or I should forget about her and continue with my life. According to my family members, they said I should forget about her because of the manner she left. 113 Likes 7 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by chatinent: 7:51pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Hello, First, I don't support the way she left. Marriage should not be all honey and darling when the going is good. You guys didn't have any outstanding issue apart from the money thing? No quarrel ...no beating? If that's the case, I think you should call her mobile phone. I think you should try to meet her and discuss issues together. Crowdfunding for public advice may not be too good sha. Awon redpills are coming to tell you to take in another woman. Wouldn't another woman leave too if it is unbearable? You don't need to be a redpill. You need to be an alpha gentleman. You need to know your responsibilities as though they were your body parts. I must say... I hate it when families know husband and wife are having an issue. We shouldn't listen to our family sometimes. Check: they are all concentrating on the woman but none of them is telling you be more responsible. Of course, they'll support you with words. Will words help you take care of your family? When I mean trying your best, I mean living up to the expectations of being a man; it is your responsibility to take care of your family! You don't bear children more than you can take care of. You may rightly argue differently that you work hard. Sure, you do. But you aren't working harder enough for the family. You need to man up. Bring your wife back. Be the husband you'd want your daughter to have. Be like the man who was sent to the lions to be eaten but came back leading the pride. Please don't forget to buzz me when she is back make I come chop nkwobi biko. You are welcome. 353 Likes 26 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Nobody: 7:52pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
when a man get's married - it is a journey that you must be prepared for and how you plan to have kids and balance you and your spouse's career is critical. if you miss it, you are going down-hill Do not say kids are a Blessing, they are a Joyful burden and if you are not prepared to carry it, it will become a sorrowful burden. Do not take the Bible quote too literally - head of the family does not mean that your wife has no input or support on the matter. Many men fail because they also include their relatives and inlaws and side-chics in their Head of Family role 102 Likes 14 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Ammishaddai: 7:59pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Bros, the bible clearly says a man who can't provide for his home is worst than an infidel(1Timothy 5:8.). Mr man , why are you not providing for your home and wife ? Can you see you're the one using your own hand to destroy your house ...? If your wife leaves you for greener pastures, she'll be justified because you can't provide for her and the children . So better go and beg her and start looking for a fvcking job !!! 18 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by harqinhola(m): 8:02pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
This is not a begging matter , you need to understand why she left ... If u have 5 kids and she's jobless , my brother she left for her parents house to safe you from shame because she as taken two of your kids to her parents to be fed . How do u expect her to feed 5 kids without the allowance ? I suggest u have a deep heart to heart conversation wth her . 126 Likes 11 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Richy4(m): 8:03pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
If you were not at home when she left, Traditionally, you have to go and ask her why she left... This is just to fulfill all righteousness.. Do it without wasting time.. if she said she wasn't coming back, thank them and leave..do not beg her... Don't make her do what was against her wish... Take the three kids to your family if U can't look after them.. look for a job with determination, Try your best to take care of your children.. please also remember the ones she took with her... They are also your kids... Forget about anything on skirts at the moment and focus on finding a job.. if she wants to come back in future and u will allow it okay, if not, just stay focused in training your kids.... 112 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Kobojunkie: 8:06pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Olivertwist1985:You have 5 kids and you want to abandon your wife so you can carry the load alone?  Or have your family members who advice you to abandon your wife stepped in already to adopt your kids as their own? How long has it been since you lost your job? Are you being honest when you claim the only thing you quarreled about was money for food cause that stories does not add up on my end...you don't quit a marriage because of the manner in which someone supposedly left. 27 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by ichidodo: 8:16pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
If you understand women of nowadays, you will know that they don't like suffering which is why tis best to know their nature and what they are capable of via studying the redpill.Had you had done that then it would be seen how you made three wrong critical life choices...First off getting married at all then secondly getting married to a woman that cannot carry her own weight economically and lastly having FIVE kids in this crap economy..I believe she has foressen the trajectory of the family's financial destiny hence the need to eject before the inevitable crash into dire,harsh and crippling poverty thus we don't see her coming back in the nearest future...until things improve from your end.. 56 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Richy4(m): 8:23pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Ammishaddai: You are clearly looking for a way to blame the OP...You read where he said that he has been providing for his family..u also read that he lost his job...How did he use his hands to destroy his house? If you have not experienced some ups and downs in life then I must say that u are the luckiest person on the planet... That explains why u were sounding like that 121 Likes 9 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Ammishaddai: 8:28pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
[s] Richy4:[/s] Oga shut the hell up!!! What do you know about a family...? So because he's out of a job his wife and the innocent children should starve abi...? Nonsense. Instead you telling him to get his lazy ass up to scrap around and hustle like a man, you're encouraging him to fold his hands here on Nairaland by looking for sympathy from people of his calibre . Nonsense. Later you'll say you're a man . Tueh !!! 36 Likes 7 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Oladeji245(m): 8:35pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
chatinent:always dishing out stuvpid advice. oponu akindanidani.. who tell u say if he beg her now and she come back ,if issue happen again she no go comot again? so every time she comot make d man go dey beg? 41 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Oladeji245(m): 8:37pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Ammishaddai:weeree leleyii sha... 94 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Richy4(m): 8:46pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Ammishaddai:   Some one that just quoted the scriptures.. insulting with reckless abandon.. aren't you a disgrace to Christianity?.. The funny thing about this forum is that anyone can always hide behind a faceless forum like this and claim prosperous.. Even though u don't sound like someone doing well. Frustration is just written all over You ... The outburst shows that all is not well with you...I blame the op for coming here, if not why would a maggot have a say.. 123 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by gfaruk(m): 8:51pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Richy4:Those listening to him preach on road don suffer 29 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Ifyjos(f): 8:53pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
My brother if a woman treat you this way it's mean you maltreated her when you had money 33 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Richy4(m): 8:54pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
gfaruk: Can u Imagine.. no empathy on the OP that lost a job and was about to loose a family... He was busy quoting Timothy.. 44 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Ammishaddai: 9:04pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
[s] Richy4:[/s] You have nothing to offer the Op apart from excuses for languishing in idleness. Now kindly stay off my mentions 2 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by bukatyne(f): 9:11pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Olivertwist1985: Prior to this job loss, how was the relationship between the both of you? If you have lost your job, why does she still expect you to foot the bills like you normally do? Does she earn? If yes, does she contribute to the family pot? What have you done to secure another source of income? You have five kids which is a lot in today's economy and everything is freaking expensive in the market right now. What should you do? Ignore your family and invite her back home to discuss the your issues. I believe she told you she was going to her family house during the misunderstanding that's why you immediately knew where she went to with the kids. I would have said you go to your in-laws house however, if they did not deem it fit to intervene/resolve the issue, then leave them out like your parents. Both in-laws seem to have given up on the marriage which goes back to my first question: How was the marriage pre- job loss? During your engagement, also assert that you would not tolerate her leaving home for issues anymore except they are life/death and she is willing to end the marriage. With hardwork, you will break through. Amen. 23 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Richy4(m): 9:15pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Ammishaddai: OP might be better than you in all ramifications... Assuming he didn't decide to wash his dirty laundry in public, who are u to call him lazy? If being busy makes people rich, the wheelbarrow pushers would have been kings... I will never get along with your type.. claiming religious but very dark at heart.. making Christianity look bad... Nonsense 92 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Slizzords: 9:15pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Ammishaddai:You must be really frustrated with life o, wetin @richy4 talk wey make all the wire for your head begin spark like transformer wey one blow. Better ko ya Fi aára búrúkú bálé 48 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Richy4(m): 9:22pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Slizzords: My brother, I no no Wetin I do or talkoo... ... Even my ancestors will bear me witness say I no insult him.. 14 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Ammishaddai: 9:56pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
[s] Richy4:[/s] Your rant hasn't changed the fact that you're a mysoginst who encourages men to be lazy all in the name of following stupid sympathy 7 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by AutoChick4U(f): 9:58pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Hmmmm |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Nobody: 9:58pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
I can't really judge this matter from only side of the story. She too will have her own side of the story and some very strong reasons that made her take such decision. How has your attitude towards her been since you lost your job? Have you been taking out the frustration on her? as its typical of most men when they lose their jobs. Also don't forget she's nursing a baby. So all that postpartum symptoms and its effect on her could also be the cause of her irrational behavior. Anyways, if you are not guilty of any of the above, then let her be. Hopefully She'll come round and come back home. Let her satisfy her conscience for now otherwise if you go begging her, she might still be feeling giddy and not want to come back. 17 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by AutoChick4U(f): 10:02pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Olivertwist1985:A woman with a six months old baby and you didnt give feeding money for the month, how did u want d family to survive? 5 kids in this buhari era? Kai 11 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Olivertwist1985: 10:03pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
I want to thank you all for your advice and comments. I want to clear some issues that some people brought fort. 1.The issue of domestic violence does not arise between her and me.I don't beat or fight her. 2. When I was working I established business for her and the business is not doing bad. 3.iam not totally jobless, I have a handwork, that is solar energy installations, CCTV camera and dstv,startime and general satellites installation, I told her that I will be supporting whenever I get jobs but she said ,she need it in bulk as I normally used to give her whenever I received my salary at the end of the months 4.Another issue is that of bearing kids which I cannot take care of them,.Actually my wife didn't support family, when she gave birth to our third Child, i told her that we should embarked on family planning but she turned it down, citing that her mother did not do ,hence she can't do it as well.Even another issue that she complained when she reported the case to my pastor before she finally left,was that we sleeping on the same bed for about two weeks but I am seeing her like a log of wood but for me iam afraid of anything pregnancy because the loads are too much on me. Thanks you all for your advices, May God bless. 43 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by yuping(m): 10:14pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Everybody forming hard men, No time for sympathy. Remember you are not the only one in your field or line of work, it is just by God grace you have been getting the connection you have. Some people know the job better than you but are not getting the contract. If someone loose is Job the next thing you will hear is Lazy you that is not lazy I hope your company is a multinational one? I don't no who tell Nigerians that is only lazy people that don't have job. People have better job ideas, good strategy and finance but still fail. Make una dey calm down. Success belike menstruation it will come when it time and you will feel the flow. 34 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by wunmi590(m): 10:24pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
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| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Rubbiish(m): 10:30pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
As a man if u wan to know the true colour of a woman it is only through challenges, then her true self will show! Reason I will always place my mother above any other woman, a man's mother is only woman that will not abandon him when challenges comes. Forget all these I love u your wife dey talk, na because every where good, make small challenge come your side, then u will know no woman can ever love u more than your mom. @ Olivertwist1985 Just focus on how to get job & the kids, forget about your wife for now, she won't change so long the money is not coming. Don't think it is only your wife o, 98% of women are like that. So she has not done something unusual. 33 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Richy4(m): 10:32pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Ammishaddai: I'm through with you... But I must leave u with these <<< try and do something about your frustrated life.. see a therapist or psychiatrists.. That initial outburst without provocation was not normal... It won't be fair on someone who was genuinely seeking for advice to appear on a forum like this only for you to pour all your venom of frustration on that person.. Have a good day dear.. it's good to know you no matter how unpleasant it was...  29 Likes |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by pocohantas(f): 10:38pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Rubbiish: Oga place your mother above your wife, as your papa sef take place your grandmother above your mother. Last last every woman would have a man that would place her highly, na just patience. OP, we have to hear your wife’s side of the story. 13yrs with 5kids? No woman would throw all that away over 1 month allowance. Try again. 33 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: My Wife Left Me Because I Lost My Job. by Rubbiish(m): 10:38pm On Sep 15, 2021 |
Ifyjos:Lol U don't need to maltreat a woman for her to leave you when u are broke, it is their default setting. When money go, woman love go vanish. 12 Likes |
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