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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family (5033 Views)
Six Habits That Prove A Person Was Born In A Poor Family / After Being Single For Soo Long, Im Now Scared Of Getting Married. Please Help!! / Man Wants Divorce After Getting Married "Blind" But Now Sees. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by bukatyne(f): 11:13am On Oct 09, 2021 |
theForth: Don't women develop men where you are from? The husband in this case is the 'enlightened' partner and should have developed the girl to his standard or influenced her to the point she is thirsty for the next level. She is not even thinking of becoming an auxiliary nurse or chemist to complement her husband. What were they discussing? Was marriage even on the table or it just progressed to marriage because they have benn together for 8 years? 3 Likes |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by cooooooks(m): 1:49pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
You and her dated for EIGHT years and NOW you are having second thoughts. All the women you and her know will use you as the reason why women are "single until there is a ring on her finger". My friend, you have even done introduction. Are you spending on her entire family to show yourself? I know some ladies from poor families who were even fighting their husbands and fiancés to STOP sending money to her family. Discuss with her, set a LIMIT to what you send her family's way. If you can, help them plan their way out of poverty: school, job with prospects, etc). Xman12345goat: 3 Likes |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by cooooooks(m): 1:50pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
I blame him almost 100% for that. Eight years and he has not gotten her engaged as an auxilliary nurse? Haba. bukatyne: 2 Likes |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by cooooooks(m): 1:51pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
Lol. No be me and anybody dey do that bread winner rubbish. yomi007k: 1 Like |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by cooooooks(m): 1:53pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
He can still refuse or limit what he does for the family. AutoChick4U: |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by cooooooks(m): 1:55pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
Will a girl making N3 m a month marry a guy making N700k a month? Yes. theForth: 1 Like |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by cooooooks(m): 2:00pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
I'm a man. - He should limit how much he spends on her family & his family. - Why is she not an auxiliary nurse yet?? If he ever wants to japa, this is extremely important. - Even if the girl is from a middle class or even rich family, he may have to spend more: There are girls who see it as okay to spend N30 k in a week; these tastes worsen with their experience in life. Is he ready to buy iPhone and designer for rich gf? Is he ready to buy very wealthy apartment or build overly lavish house for his middle class wife? - This guy has known this lady for 8 years and has only positive things to say. How many girls will he meet now (now that he is a fully fledged MD), who won't be after his money or can manage the doctor lifestyle?? (He could marry another doctor). tensazangetsu20: 1 Like |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by cooooooks(m): 2:01pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
Was OP rich as a student when he started dating her? cococandy: 1 Like |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by AutoChick4U(f): 2:25pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
cooooooks:yea |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by Raalsalghul: 3:18pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
cooooooks: And you're sure she won't treat him with disdain at some point in their marriage? She could wake up one morning and start feeling like "I could do better" even with the guy busting his ass off. These are delicate issues my friend, don't trivialize it. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by mariahAngel(f): 3:22pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
Raalsalghul: Is relationship all about money? I think it is more of some men feeling intimidated and insecure when their women earn more. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by Raalsalghul: 3:37pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
mariahAngel: You've not really answered the question oh. |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by mariahAngel(f): 3:39pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
Raalsalghul: The question was more of ridiculous. 2 Likes |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by Raalsalghul: 3:42pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
cooooooks: I agree with you here; eight years, he should have empowered her one way or the other. 1 Like |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by Billyddude: 3:43pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
tensazangetsu20: God bless u big time |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by cooooooks(m): 3:51pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
Even (some) poor ladies who "have tasted life" look down on their men. Also, many top-earning women value things other than money. They already have money or come from money. They know money doesn't solve everything. They have their fellow high-earning women friends who can't find nobody. Raalsalghul: 1 Like |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by cooooooks(m): 3:52pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
Like I replied to raalsalghul, many people value life more than money, especially at very high incomes. mariahAngel: |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by mariahAngel(f): 4:06pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
Raalsalghul: Would you let go of a woman who’s known you for more than 8yrs for no major issues other than she’s from a poor background? That is practically a lifetime of knowing someone, and only a fool would throw all that away. As far as the bride price has been paid, she’s his wife anyways. 1 Like |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by crackhaus: 5:15pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
yomi007k: Whenever a woman says "be a man", it is extremely wise to do the direct opposite of whatever she was/is trying to get you to do/say. This statement "be a man", coming from the lips of a woman has NEVER brought about a good ending for the man involved. This is scientifically proven. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by crackhaus: 5:26pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
bukatyne:I just dey look you with one eye... Anyhow though, your post is quite understandable given that you're more of a traditional woman in words, actions, and overall philosophy. If I see statements like the above coming from our beloved pseudo-feminists and faux-modern women, I start laughing at the joke on reflex. BTW, what did you mean by women developing men? Are you referring to the generation of our mothers, or this modern set of over-entitled snowflaked wig-wearing social media addicts? 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by crackhaus: 5:43pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
mariahAngel:Calm down... People have thrown away more than 10/15 years of marriage for much less, and the world did not end nor did they earn the title of fool. If you ask me, I think he's better positioned to throw it all away right now than wait till when he's knee-deep in marital life before getting fed up. This however doesn't excuse the fact that he dated her for that long, BUT still, quit the emotional blackmail about how you can't do away with someone after dating them for years. Who died and made such a rule? Women even do it too, lots of them BTW... So calm down. 3 Likes |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by yomi007k(m): 6:55pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
crackhaus: . Mumu men will still argue with you oo... 1 Like |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by PrimadonnaO(f): 7:15pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
dominique: They aren't married yet. 1 Like |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by zicoraads: 7:26pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
PrimadonnaO:Bride price has been offered and accepted. They are married. |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by PrimadonnaO(f): 7:31pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
zicoraads: I only saw a mention of introduction. 2 Likes |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by PrimadonnaO(f): 7:35pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
crackhaus: Imagine him returning the bride price and he's asked why. "I just realised you and your family's too poor." Somehow, in this story, what I'm most concerned about is how in 8 years, her station in life didn't change. Since he was concerned and supposedly loved her, how did he not encourage her to further her education, even if it was an NCE. How didn't she learn any skill she could have monetised? Mind-boggling. What sort of static 8-year relationship were they into? 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by crackhaus: 8:22pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
PrimadonnaO:Maybe they were just busy having lots of sex the entire time, and it's now the sex finally cleared from his eyes. 4 Likes |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by Nobody: 8:26pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
cooooooks:Big lie bro. |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by PrimadonnaO(f): 8:27pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
crackhaus: I feel he's screwed whichever way. If he does a 360° and abandons her, he may always feel guilty... he may end up marrying someone else as a rebound only to regret it down the line. And if he goes ahead to marry her, he will likely be financially stressed for sometime... there's no telling how long. Heaven may smile on them in good time. He needs to take time off to think things through...and pray, too. 1 Like |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by mariahAngel(f): 8:44pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
crackhaus: Well, his reason for wanting to throw away a more than 8yrs old relationship is not valid enough in my opinion. Although if you ask me, I'd say he never really loved Chioma to begin with. This however doesn't excuse the fact that he dated her for that long, BUT still, quit the emotional blackmail about how you can't do away with someone after dating them for years. My intention (with my earlier comment) was more to provoke some thoughts in him, and never to emotionally blackmail him. I'd do the same with any of my brothers if they were going to make such a decision in a similar situation as the op's. I think the op should really think things through. A person who complements you doesn't come by easily these days. |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by crackhaus: 8:52pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
PrimadonnaO:Well, there'll always be consequences to every decision we make — could be good, could be bad, and both could be to varying degrees. So yea, while you're right that he definitely needs to think things through and pray (assuming he is the type who does), neither of these two will totally eliminate the consequences of whatever decision he finally makes. Above all, he needs to be decisive, resolute, and own his decision whatever the outcome may be – good or bad. 1 Like |
Re: The Cost Of Getting Married To A Poor Family by crackhaus: 9:00pm On Oct 09, 2021 |
mariahAngel:Perhaps, and say you're right, isn't the absence of love a valid enough reason to end it? Or should he go ahead and hope the love will grow as time progresses? Remember also that his mother is against the marriage, so it's good time to avoid MIL and DIL iissues that will definitely come up later. My intention (with my earlier comment) was more to provoke some thoughts in him, and never to emotionally blackmail him.Lol, okay. |
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