greenie77:


So what stops him from helping out his cousin (the OP) in the food preparation that he is also going to eat from?

It's the female's duty! That's how my sisters behave at home, always forming victim when they are suppose to do their work.
I'm sure if he's to wash their car the girl won't help out.
The op has issues

Not managing situations like this with sense and love is the reason why we hear stories of some rich guys blanking out cousins/family members. You never know what happened in the past when they were still in their formative years and forced to rely on family members. I just hope the OP is not capitalising on her cousin's situation to 'cut him down to size' just for her own satisfaction since his own immediate family are currently struggling. I say this because I have seen this play out in the past within my extended family.

Just ignore him, hungry will reset his brain!

Amalekki:
Not managing situations with sense and love is the reason why we hear stories of some rich guys blanking out cousins/family members. You never know what happened in the past when they were still in their formative years and forced to rely family members. I just hope the OP is not capitalising on her cousin's situation to 'cut him down to size' just for her own satisfaction since his own immediate family are currently struggling. I say this because I have seen this play out in the past within my extended family.

Will any of these Nairaland 'women are this, women are that' marry this guy if na woman him be? This guy's mentality is so whack and I pity the woman he'll end up with.
Odiegwu o.

A little more understanding from both sides is all that is needed.

UndauntedYOCA:
Will any of these Nairaland 'women are this, women are that' marry this guy if na guy him be? This guy's mentality is so whack and I pity the woman he'll end up with.
Odiegwu o.

Ignore him

His age and ur age will help us analyze this

Women are the gatekeepers of patriarchy. If you check well, his parents allowed this fvckery in their home. They didn't teach him how to cook and make him to see it as a necessity,they probably allowed only his sisters to do the cooking and house clean up.
Deny it all you want, but the truth is kids pick up things they see their parents doing. If he always see only his mom and sisters cooking, he'll assume it's meant for women alone especially as the father doesn't do it.

Abetterperson:


I respect your opinion. I am going to tell him to be a man and Leave our house because if a man can't provide for himself then what's his purpose

How old are you

It seems you're very young

Fuckthamods:

It's the female's duty! That's how my sisters behave at home, always forming victim when they are suppose to do their work.
I'm sure if he's to wash their car the girl won't help out.
The op has issues

Which female duty? That same guy if married to a Caucasian will gladly be in charge of the kitchen! We know dem!

greenie77:


Which female duty? That same guy if married to a Caucasian will gladly be in charge of the kitchen! We know dem!

Abetterperson:
My mom sister son decided to stay with us because of his family financial struggles. He's a bit older than me but we are of the same age group. Firstly I noticed this guy is sexist and when I say sexist I mean it. He believes a woman job is to clean the house and take of the family, a good woman in his eyes is a woman without an opinion, smile and always do what she is told.
He views me as an inferior, he tries to order me around and gets angry when I refuse. He doesn't really talk to me which honestly I think is for the best.

When he first arrive at our apartment he was shocked that he had to do any chores calling it a woman's work. He doesn't respect females infact he body shames women.

Am on my period and we are the only ones in the house because of my cramps am in pain. In the morning we ate bread with bama and tea. Just now this guy asked me what we are going to eat because he's hungry (he's doesn't like eating outside, he prefer homemade food). I told him I don't know,next thing he told me to figure it out.

Just because I Know the kind of person he is, I kept quite. He came to me again asking the same question, I told him to help me ground pepper and a bit of onion so that I will be able to prepare stew and rice, normally I would use our bender but because there is no light and am afraid to put on our gen because of my mom.

Next thing I hear is this guy just shouting like a failed musician, telling me that I don't have character and respect. I didn't answer because to me he's a madman

Am waiting for my mom to come, I Know she will take his side because she doesn't want him to feel maltreated but what is all this.

Am not his wife still yet this is no way to treat a woman whether she is your wife or not.

If you are from other tribes in Nigeria, stay put with your decision. He is not your master, and your parents should do better. But if you are ibo, I dont know what to advise you cos male children are gods in their culture. I can only sympathize with you.

Abetterperson:
My mom sister son decided to stay with us because of his family financial struggles. He's a bit older than me but we are of the same age group. Firstly I noticed this guy is sexist and when I say sexist I mean it. He believes a woman job is to clean the house and take of the family, a good woman in his eyes is a woman without an opinion, smile and always do what she is told.
He views me as an inferior, he tries to order me around and gets angry when I refuse. He doesn't really talk to me which honestly I think is for the best.

When he first arrive at our apartment he was shocked that he had to do any chores calling it a woman's work. He doesn't respect females infact he body shames women.

Am on my period and we are the only ones in the house because of my cramps am in pain. In the morning we ate bread with bama and tea. Just now this guy asked me what we are going to eat because he's hungry (he's doesn't like eating outside, he prefer homemade food). I told him I don't know,next thing he told me to figure it out.

Just because I Know the kind of person he is, I kept quite. He came to me again asking the same question, I told him to help me ground pepper and a bit of onion so that I will be able to prepare stew and rice, normally I would use our bender but because there is no light and am afraid to put on our gen because of my mom.

Next thing I hear is this guy just shouting like a failed musician, telling me that I don't have character and respect. I didn't answer because to me he's a madman

Am waiting for my mom to come, I Know she will take his side because she doesn't want him to feel maltreated but what is all this.

Am not his wife still yet this is no way to treat a woman whether she is your wife or not.

Know your place shawty...

He is a king and treat him like one.

greenie77:


Which female duty? That same guy if married to a Caucasian will gladly be in charge of the kitchen! We know dem!

Nah.. He won't.. Guys like that will rather eat take outs or the oyibo must learn how to cook except he lacks self esteem

Abetterperson:


I respect your opinion. I am going to tell him to be a man and Leave our house because if a man can't provide for himself then what's his purpose

Lol, apt.

@OP, he isn't hungry, when he is, he will find his way to the kitchen.

Abetterperson:
My mom sister son decided to stay with us because of his family financial struggles. He's a bit older than me but we are of the same age group. Firstly I noticed this guy is sexist and when I say sexist I mean it. He believes a woman job is to clean the house and take of the family, a good woman in his eyes is a woman without an opinion, smile and always do what she is told.
He views me as an inferior, he tries to order me around and gets angry when I refuse. He doesn't really talk to me which honestly I think is for the best.

When he first arrive at our apartment he was shocked that he had to do any chores calling it a woman's work. He doesn't respect females infact he body shames women.

Am on my period and we are the only ones in the house because of my cramps am in pain. In the morning we ate bread with bama and tea. Just now this guy asked me what we are going to eat because he's hungry (he's doesn't like eating outside, he prefer homemade food). I told him I don't know,next thing he told me to figure it out.

Just because I Know the kind of person he is, I kept quite. He came to me again asking the same question, I told him to help me ground pepper and a bit of onion so that I will be able to prepare stew and rice, normally I would use our bender but because there is no light and am afraid to put on our gen because of my mom.

Next thing I hear is this guy just shouting like a failed musician, telling me that I don't have character and respect. I didn't answer because to me he's a madman

Am waiting for my mom to come, I Know she will take his side because she doesn't want him to feel maltreated but what is all this.

Am not his wife still yet this is no way to treat a woman whether she is your wife or not.

If you were my woman, I swear I would have beaten the hell out of that guy ! You were having menstrual cramp and he was not even considerate. WTF!

He needs better beating, I wish I was close to give him that!

Spaggmann:
He's a real nigga

real nigga with a woman that cannot set boundaries.na why he dey entitled.assuming he get woman wey get caustic mouth like me,fear go even dey catch am to ask for food because he will not want to feel disrespected.he go just respect himself, by himself go eatery and I will ensure he only eats on the day he contributes on doing something in the house, the day he doesn't h can shout from morning to night, nobody will pay him attention

Iyaebe:
Please send him to my house,he needs proper upbringing. But honestly I don't like seeing men do chores especially kitchen chores.I use to pursue my brothers to live the kitchen arena as I find it disgusting seeing men in the kitchen.Try your best to endure him as he won't live with you forever, its just for some times, please be patient with him till he leaves.

There's nothing bad for men to be in the kitchen...

I don't know how to cook, but believe me house chores, mostly kitchen, I make sure that everything is clean...

One of the things my wife enjoyed about me is, I don't joke with neatness, once she's done in the kitchen, I go inside and learn everywhere up if am around....

Abeg stop chasing your brothers away from the kitchen, even if they don't know how to cook, they should learn how to keep kitchen neat and clean...

The shouting like a failed musician got me, do you mean like KC?

Fuckthamods:

It's the female's duty! That's how my sisters behave at home, always forming victim when they are suppose to do their work.
I'm sure if he's to wash their car the girl won't help out.
The op has issues

Exactly!

If a lady cannot cook and manage the house, then of what use is she?

Does it mean her husband won’t eat whenever she is on her period

This western civilization has really caused havoc


To just cook food come become oppression.

Make God just protect person from this kind lady, Cos you will have to fast when she is on her period. And when she gets pregnant, just go back to your parents house cos Na hunger go kill you.

Family matter my hand no deh. But let hear from the guy first.

Op the guy is your senior and I believe you talked to him rudely because you feels his family don't have and he came to stay in your house so he most act like a house boy to you.

You and everyone supporting you here are stupid, just imagine the crap you say about him. Of a truth you are an entitle bitch. Abetterperson.

cooooooks:
It's like the way to Poco's heart is by cooking.



But in reality, the men who were youth when I was a child ALL cooked. I learned from my mom and aunts while in primary school.

From traditional male cooking (roasting) to soups, etc.

Also, without cooking, how will a guy managé in school or as single?

Cooking is very important.

The way to my heart is not cooking. Only 0.014% of Nigerian men can cook what I will eat and my man doesn’t even fall into that percentage - fortunately.

Yes it is important to know how to cook something you can at least eat. Just don’t expect me to eat it with you.

Abetterperson:
My mom sister son decided to stay with us because of his family financial struggles. He's a bit older than me but we are of the same age group. Firstly I noticed this guy is sexist and when I say sexist I mean it. He believes a woman job is to clean the house and take of the family, a good woman in his eyes is a woman without an opinion, smile and always do what she is told.
He views me as an inferior, he tries to order me around and gets angry when I refuse. He doesn't really talk to me which honestly I think is for the best.

When he first arrive at our apartment he was shocked that he had to do any chores calling it a woman's work. He doesn't respect females infact he body shames women.

Am on my period and we are the only ones in the house because of my cramps am in pain. In the morning we ate bread with bama and tea. Just now this guy asked me what we are going to eat because he's hungry (he's doesn't like eating outside, he prefer homemade food). I told him I don't know,next thing he told me to figure it out.

Just because I Know the kind of person he is, I kept quite. He came to me again asking the same question, I told him to help me ground pepper and a bit of onion so that I will be able to prepare stew and rice, normally I would use our bender but because there is no light and am afraid to put on our gen because of my mom.

Next thing I hear is this guy just shouting like a failed musician, telling me that I don't have character and respect. I didn't answer because to me he's a madman

Am waiting for my mom to come, I Know she will take his side because she doesn't want him to feel maltreated but what is all this.

Am not his wife still yet this is no way to treat a woman whether she is your wife or not.

The guy unfortunately picked up this poor mindset from his upbringing. There are a lot of homes where parents actively make their male kids feel superior to their female kids by not allowing them to do any house chores. Secondly, you can have a situation where the boy watched his father treat his own mother like a house maid in the name of "culture and tradition" and felt that is the way life is wired.

I think your mum and dad can lovingly but firmly help him correct this warped mindset now that he lives with your family. On your own part, you need to be a bit more understanding of the fact that he just comes from a different upbringing from yours. Rather than tow this part of hostile aggression, I suggest you adopt a more friendly approach so your position on the matter can be well received.

wunmi590:


There's nothing bad for men to be in the kitchen...

I don't know how to cook, but believe me house chores, mostly kitchen, I make sure that everything is clean...

One of the things my wife enjoyed about me is, I don't joke with neatness, once she's done in the kitchen, I go inside and learn everywhere up if am around....

Abeg stop chasing your brothers away from the kitchen, even if they don't know how to cook, they should learn how to keep kitchen neat and clean...

lol,OK I hear

Why on earth will your mum take sides with him? They are no chores meant for women as they is no such terminology while growing up in my house. The guys cook and do other chores as well reading and studying on daily basis. Division of labour is a strategy you were introducing as i see nothing wrong with that. Please i need to clear this guy doubt by recommending him to live with my grand parents and stand to have his head shave to skin cut with total humility and obedience. Maybe he has started keeping one babe that is why he is fuming like a hype Egyptian mummy ?

Iyaebe:
lol,OK I hear

Plead:
Women are the gatekeepers of patriarchy. If you check well, his parents allowed this fvckery in their home. They didn't teach him how to cook and make him to see it as a necessity,they probably allowed only his sisters to do the cooking and house clean up.
Deny it all you want, but the truth is kids pick up things they see their parents doing. If he always see only his mom and sisters cooking, he'll assume it's meant for women alone especially as the father doesn't do it.

That's how most homes are... Why will the father hustle then come back home to cook? The males have their responsibilities, in my home we clean the house too, service the generator, wash the cars, fetch water, carry hefty things, run errands.. Etc. Why should we still enter the kitchen to cook!?
I'm sure the op cousin does chores assigned to him, op just want to control the boy cause of his current situation!

Trojan8:

How do you reason abeg?

Sissy's like you won't understand

SeriouslySense:

Gerrout
Na true talk now. All I see is absence of love. I have friends who will tell you that they don't joke with this certain female cousin who took care of them back in the hood without complaining. As some mentioned, all that the guy probably saw was his Dad never entering the kitchen. This is nothing strange where we come from. The OP and her cousin need to get over their pettiness and be a family. Debate with him and let him understand why it is to his advantage if he learns how to fend for himself even in the kitchen but don't necessarily force him. His own time will come to take care of you or your children, even if it's only occasional vacation abi no be so we dey roll? Cherish your family o!