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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table (79604 Views)
My 85-Year-Old Dad Is Cheating On My Mom / Don’t Kill Your Husband. This Is How To Deal With Him If He Is Cheating On You / My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by klufs(m): 1:00am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Biglittlelois:Even though the OP hasn’t entirely captured the concept, I believe what the OP meant to say was that unlike in statutory marriages (that is done in the registry or licensed place of worship in accordance with English custom) where romantic/sexual relationship between any of the parties and a 3rd party could give rise to a relief in court and a ground for dissolution, same does not apply to marriages under our custom. More specifically, in many customs in Africa, the existence of a romantic relationship between an already married man and a 3rd party (woman) does not necessarily affect the foundation of the marriage or give rise to an actionable relief in law. The man can even go ahead to marry or ratify his position with the other woman. In Africa, a woman leaving a man on the ground of infidelity is more like leaving him for lack of money. It’s rational to leave, but it’s not codified anywhere as a known ground. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 1:02am On Oct 19, 2021 |
tctrills:What search criteria should I specify in Google in order to find this specific case you refer me to?, ![]() |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 1:04am On Oct 19, 2021 |
tctrills:Nigeria or Africa? We are here discussing Nigeria, more specifically traditional marriage laws in SE and SW. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Xbs1: 1:08am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Really |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Nobody: 1:13am On Oct 19, 2021 |
maureensylvia:Sometimes I am marveled at the way you LADIES of nowadays have decided to order men around with useless and baseless theories. There are only 2 beings that can stop a man from marrying as many as he wishes. The First is FATE (GOD) The Second is the MAN himself. Every other person is secondary. Even his siblings nor parents can't stop him when the time comes. Better wake up, else you will be sent packing. LADIES who failed to get proper home training wll be redeployed to their parents houses. These NEW GENERATION LADIES keep fooling themselves. As long as a man walks into your family house seeking to transfer you to his, he can equally return you back. In DIVORCE a man never leaves his FATHER'S house nor village. Better wake up. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by efficiencie(m): 1:23am On Oct 19, 2021 |
maureensylvia: What difference does it make. If you do all the legal marriages and your hubby cheats on you you are no different from the woman who only did native marriage and was cheated on. Legal marriage does not stop cheating. Legal marriage does not punish cheating spouses, the highest punitive measure is a divorce which makes the outcomes of couples in a legal marriage no different from those in a native marriage...as I type, someone's legal husband is pumping someone else's legal wife all in the guise of business meeting...native marriages save the stress of spending stupidly and it's only drawback is that it is not recognised by the law of the land and when that land is Nigeria, you can dump the law inside dustbin because Nigerian criminal-justice system is trash! |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Nobody: 1:38am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Kobojunkie:Do you live in a cave? |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 1:42am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Bobmarie:Why do you ask? ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by tctrills: 1:47am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Kobojunkie:You never indicated that in your post. SE and SW mean basically, you are talking about Igbo and Yoruba? 1 Like |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 1:57am On Oct 19, 2021 |
tctrills:I more than indicated that several times throughout this discourse. Well, the igbo and Yoruba are the dominant ethnic groups in those regions but not the only. Since traditional laws are the focus, religious laws are of course of no value to this discussion. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Saintmary(f): 2:26am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: Responsibility is different from dependency. The fact that a man is responsible does not mean all financial contribution will rest on him. Responsibility starts with vision, planning and directing, before even talking about funding. It's ok if you can't grasp my explanations, like I said, you're immature, just like the greater percentage of the population. I believe that just because a lot of men are failing does not mean all men are failing, there a lots of men who understand the assignment, God bless them. My motivation for this response is that someone will read this and know better what it means to be a man. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by armyofone(m): 2:34am On Oct 19, 2021 |
MALIGNANTGuest: Only in Nigeria and other 3rd world countries can you people be doing "return you back" up and down. Return an adult back ? ![]() ![]() Wow!! 5 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Cousin9999: 2:37am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Cheating and polygamy aren't the same thing. |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 2:37am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Saintmary:Again, why do you keep shifting responsibility on men who have proven they are not all-capable? ![]() Why are women not taking on, for themselves, more of the planning and directing where the men have failed in the past? ![]() Why aren't women making more mature choices and decisions where men continue to fail? Why? No be be the same size brain men get wey women get? ![]() |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 2:39am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Cousin9999:If a man keeps a concubine on the side - spending regularly on her - is it that farfetched to claim he has more than one wife? ![]() |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Cousin9999: 2:43am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: Cheating and polygamy aren't the same thing. 1 Like |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Kobojunkie: 2:52am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Cousin9999:So a man who has concubines - even has children by his concubines- is not in a polygamous relationship because he has not exchanged brideprice for each of those women? ![]() |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by joyandfaith: 3:03am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Some people can argue based on sentiments. In most cultures, traditional marriage doesn't protect wives. Statutory marriage is best especially in intercultural marriage. Next of kin or head of family has power over properties of the husband when he dies. In. Statutory marriage, the marriage certificate protects wife and her children. It is only will that overides marriage certificate. 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by joyandfaith: 3:04am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Cousin9999: Traditions recognize concubines |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Mordecai(m): 3:19am On Oct 19, 2021 |
maureensylvia: First off, even unmarried persons in relationships talk of cheating. It is not a clause restricted to legal marriages. Even in registry marriages, cheating still happens. Marriage under the act has not been shown to reduce cheating. In fact, the huge divorce rate (over 50%) in places like the US, of which majority of the divorces result from infidelity, is a testament to the fact that civil marriages do not deter cheating. Secondly, even if civil marriages were to allow men take more wives, most men today would not exercise that right. Heck, they do not even want more children. They would rather still prefer the casual side chic. Thirdly, while feminist movements are railing against polygamy, a new trend is taking its place - the baby mama culture. Because frankly, why would a man choose polygamy, or monogamy for that matter, when he can knock off different ladies, while retaining his freedom to be with any lady he so chooses? |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Trentee4eva: 3:53am On Oct 19, 2021 |
maureensylvia:You are very wrong. The Church and court weddings you're talking about were borrowed from the Europeans. Europeans have only one wedding ceremony which is either the Church or courts. The traditional wedding in Africa is the main wedding ceremony. If not, at which of these wedding ceremonies do they pay the bride’s price? About infidelity, different cultures approach that in different ways. Stop degrading our traditional institutions. Whoever agrees with you shouldn't subject themselves to traditional weddings rites and should just run to the church or court with their partner. You can advocate that our traditional institutions be strengthened to include womens’ rights. |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by wizi4tyn: 4:08am On Oct 19, 2021 |
maureensylvia: Sounds like there’s no trust here ooo Most people that do only traditional marriage do it because of lack of funds. If you speak like this, be sure to finance the other marriage forms 100% if the guy says his money has finished after traditional marriage |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Hathor5(f): 4:15am On Oct 19, 2021 |
armyofone: Do they keep receipts to return them? ![]() And some people on this forum argue that women are not marginalized in Nigeria. They have been used to very low standards for too long, I guess. ![]() 4 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Hathor5(f): 4:29am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Mordecai: Cheating is one thing. Marrying more than one wife is another. The latter can be legally prevented. Secondly, even if civil marriages were to allow men take more wives, most men today would not exercise that right. Heck, they do not even want more children. They would rather still prefer the casual side chic. You tell us because I see men getting married every week, in Nigeria and abroad. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Cousin9999: 4:34am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: Polygamy = marriage, commitment, 1 household, co-wives Babymamas ≠ wives |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Spherical77(m): 4:48am On Oct 19, 2021 |
TheGreatOne90:You prefer the other marriage so that you can continue to do anyhow abi? Any man who run away from having legal marriage does have a cockroach in their cupboard |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by favour32(m): 4:53am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Most marriages, these days, wey be say na war fronts nor be monogamy? Make una dey hail monogamy, una eyes go soon clear, as many youths dey dey sceptical about marriage matter because of chaos and fight matter mostly for monogamy. Me! I dey gidigba with my two wives. I go add one join with time. Make una call am whatever nomenclature...we nor send. Men! Nor die follow one woman despite you dey successful. As you wan help any girl,let her know say in advance say,you go marry join her . If she nor happy,let her go. Try arrange,wives nai better pass wife. |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Spherical77(m): 4:55am On Oct 19, 2021 |
InvertedHammer:You are not getting the Op Yes no marriage whatsoever stops infidelity. However, the woman has more right to put the man to check in court marriage than the traditional marriage Since it is legally prohibited to sleep around or marry another woman/man. If found wanting such person bear the brunt 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by Spherical77(m): 5:03am On Oct 19, 2021 |
DEMZEE:Any woman who chose to marry you without a court marriage na fool Just know you married a fool and not a wife ![]() 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Don't complain that your husband is cheating on you if you are on this table by JustforMen: 5:09am On Oct 19, 2021 |
Polygamy is not adultery! 1 Like |
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