ityP:



The problem is the women are not protected in our African traditional beliefs about marriage. I will birth a girl child sometime in future. The mere thought of that lady being tortured by one useless man and not been able to say anything is a scary thought...

Biglittlelois:



Words of mouth isn't a law, a village king can just as well wake up one day and proclaim what suits him, doesn't make it factual or true.

Biglittlelois:
Where is it explicitly stated that all traditional marriages is automatic polygamy or adultery approved? Show us proof, link pls, don't just spew your own opinion as fact.

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

Saintmary:


Responsibility is different from dependency.

The fact that a man is responsible does not mean all financial contribution will rest on him.

Responsibility starts with vision, planning and directing, before even talking about funding.

It's ok if you can't grasp my explanations, like I said, you're immature, just like the greater percentage of the population.

I believe that just because a lot of men are failing does not mean all men are failing, there a lots of men who understand the assignment, God bless them.

My motivation for this response is that someone will read this and know better what it means to be a man.

Biglittlelois:



No I don't understand yours, cos it obviously came out from your mouth, there is no proof whatsoever that traditional laws explicitly said that,

A woman, a human being, is not a property of another human being, explain and screenshot where it is stated in the African tradition and patriarchy that such exists let's all see it, words of mouth can always be false and dismissed as pure nonsense, just cos some bunch of men sat down to voice out what suits them at a particular era back in the day, doesnt make it an actual truth, proof, link, or don't quote me again.

Miarose:
Please just shut up. This thread is to educate ignorant girls like you. Dont you see how stupid you sound, in this nigeria, you dont know the importance of court over traditional marriage? Please pick up a primary six social studies textbook for more explanation. Even the men here know the truth and are trying to explain to you....

@kobojunkie, God bless you for being soo civil with these kids.... Girls for that matter in this nigeria... Na wa oo.....

Kobojunkie:
1. There is no such thing.

2. It does not need to be prescribed since a married man is allowed to have as many women(even concubines) as he desires.

3. Having concubines entails adultery is allowed, or does it not?

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

BluntCrazeMan:
Explain what a concubine is, and you have your answer..
..
Concubines are not bad in the traditional laws.
..
..
And now, can a woman have a male concubine??
If you answer this correctly, then you will also have the answer to the question of whether traditional laws allowed women to be adulterous too.

Spherical77:
Any woman who chose to marry you without a court marriage na fool

Just know you married a fool and not a wife

Toks2008:


Yes polygamy is a crime if you do court wedding but the Irony is that men still have secret wives so what is the point?

Kobojunkie:
Again, the question was what family values do you refer to that are not observed in the western setting?

Patriarchy is not a family value neither is women occupying a second-class status in society a family value.

Kobojunkie:
Yes, they do when the law and conditions allow for polyandry.

In many cases however, particularly where the the laws are against such freedoms, women can and do resort to cheating just like their men folk.

DEMZEE:


Any man who marries under the law na [b]MUMU

Biglittlelois:
Where is it explicitly stated that all traditional marriages is automatic polygamy or adultery approved? Show us proof, link pls, don't just spew your own opinion as fact.

FlipModeSquade:
Concubines :a woman co habiting with a man WITHOUT being married..

So,according to your claim..

A man traditionally married to 3 WIVES is living with 3 CONCUBINES?

Same as a man living with one woman..

Even though he never bothered to marry her in the church or court?

To your second question..

There are traditions in which a woman is allowed to marry 2 husbands or Concubines,as you prefer to call them..

It's not common but it happens..

DaInferno:
when you sit one on one with God, you can have this conversation. Because you have birthed a false teaching and your are looking for people who have like minds like yours to fuel it

Spherical77:
Same as you marrying a Fool as a wife. She'd definitely bring forth foolish offspring [/b]

DEMZEE:


U are a stupor for thinking ur wife is ur equal

Oponu oshi

Bellerophon:


OP is actually very right as every points raised within her concise submission are salient and infallible truths, for those trying to comprehend the discussion from a tainted view of cultural sentiments such attempts are opinions lacking of the thoroughness of empiricism and thus subjective and less reflective of cogent truths! Human societies are governed by laws, laws universally assumed to be a product of collective will represented by political republicanism, these laws are extant and codified in acts of the legislative arms of government and are deemed sacrosanct and preeminent over other types of laws cultural ones inclusive! One of such laws is the marriage ordinance or act which defines what a marriage is between a man and woman by way of statutory codification with regards to ceremony and legal requirement! Events transpired in the course of relationships that involve cohabitating as a domestic household or marriages recognized under the disparate bodies of customary law cannot be actionable in a court of competent jurisdiction as the existence of the subject matter is null and void in the eyes of the law since the prevailing law pertaining to marriage (the marriage ordinance or act) and don’t forget the infallible supremacy of positive law here does not recognize relationship of the sorts in its legal canonization ! Now does customary law enables polygamy? is another salient question worthy of answering, the axiomatic truth that will always prevail beyond bias and sentiment remains that the African society in its cultural majority is a patriarchal one, where gender defines and influences significantly the roles, responsibilities , privileges and moral allowances apportioned each member of the gender subset! It is morally common to have public opinion accommodate men cheating over their wives and trivializing infidelity with the advise of polygamy in the stead, more like a slap on the wrist and rabidly demonizing a woman when we strays outside the vows of her marriage ! This is the harsh reality of contemporary African society despite the improvements and influences of technology over our lives! However this argument does not legitimize the fallacy that the African society prescribes polygamy substantively by default, even if the question of cultural enablement continues to be incumbent and lingering. The foundation of human culture is conscionable existence that engenders the welfare and continuity of the collective with allowance for a respect for the inalienable rights conferred on others by the default of their human nature! Culture is not repressive and is as dynamic as the society that it models! Humanity is dynamic and change is the only constant, culture and modernity continues to interact in a way that prevails over the order of our lives, The old common law, a relic of colonialism and the primary source of our jurisprudence and legislation, a part of which is the marriage act continues to interact with our lives even as we remain with our cultural education in our marriages, however it is important knowing this to go all out to make sure such relationships qualify for the definition of marriage for all intent and purposes under the law to avoid stories that touch further buttressing OPs argument but with a lot of dimensions

wizi4tyn:


Sounds like there’s no trust here ooo

Most people that do only traditional marriage do it because of lack of funds. If you speak like this, be sure to finance the other marriage forms 100% if the guy says his money has finished after traditional marriage

efficiencie:


What difference does it make. If you do all the legal marriages and your hubby cheats on you you are no different from the woman who only did native marriage and was cheated on. Legal marriage does not stop cheating. Legal marriage does not punish cheating spouses, the highest punitive measure is a divorce which makes the outcomes of couples in a legal marriage no different from those in a native marriage...as I type, someone's legal husband is pumping someone else's legal wife all in the guise of business meeting...native marriages save the stress of spending stupidly and it's only drawback is that it is not recognised by the law of the land and when that land is Nigeria, you can dump the law inside dustbin because Nigerian criminal-justice system is trash!

BluntCrazeMan:
Don't distract yourself mista-man..
..
You were asking a question whether Traditional Marriage Laws allowed Adultery for men.
And I gave you the clue.
..
And you're here now asking me if Polygamy and Monogamy are the same.
This question you are asking me now, was that your original question you asked earlier, which I responded to??
..
In your second original question, you asked whether women are also allowed to be adulterous according to traditional marriage laws??
In Igbo tradition generally, the person who pays the bride-price is the person who is marrying.
The number of women whose bride price you pay is the number of wives you have.
If the tradition allows for adultery in women, then the women are free do their traditions the way they see it.
Some traditions in some towns allow adultery for married women, and they do it without hiding their faces, because it is their tradition, and they are happy about it.
..
Then, you were saying something about women marrying many husbands??
That's for places where their traditions made it that women are the ones who pay the bride-price.. For example, India.

Spherical77:
Go to law court and tell them all these

Men like you had been dealt with ruthlessly there

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

TheGreatOne90:

If she wants court marriage, she must worth as much as me

MALIGNANTGuest:

PLEASE can you explain to me how MEN like me will be dealt with by the Law Court when I decide not to continue with my marriage?

Even in the Advanced world, MARRIAGE is not by compulsion. People get married in the morning and part ways in the evening.
So, I don't know where you Guys get this baseless cohesion theories from.
Worst scenario, properties are shared equally.
But nothing stops you from saying you are TIRED of getting married to your spouse.
TRUMP is a recent example.
MICHAEL JACKSON also is.
In Africa, we rather top up the number of wives than divorce them and nothing stops the woman from walking out either.

IF my wife decides to leave me tomorrow, why should I kill her. I can only reexamine myself to suit her, else she walks out unhindered.
MARRIAGE is not a warfare.